Chapter 9
I hid my face in his chest and noticed he was already wearing his faded dark jeans and sweater over his button-up collar shirt. Jasper helped me dry my hair when he noticed that I wanted to be dressed again. Jasper even helped me... or more like he practically dressed me himself. I smiled at him ruefully.
"Jasper, I am capable of dressing myself." I smiled at his shameless shrug as he coddled me on the tempurapedic mattress.
"I wanted to do as much with you as I could before I had to leave." I felt a sharp pang of pain as I recalled his having to leave. He hugged me tighter, feeling my pain. I gave a half-hearted laugh at his concern and rolled so my face was in his chest.
"Sorry, I'm okay, just overreacting I guess," He pressed me against his chest comfortingly. After a short comfortable silence, I spoke again. "Is it stupid that I'm stll going to miss you and be lonely even though we're going to see each other soon?" He hugged me tighter and responded in a confident whisper.
"No...since I'll feel the same way. In fact I'm already feeling the same way." I smiled sadly in response as I saw the clouds thinning under the brightening sun.
"I'll miss you." I felt his lips kiss the top of my head as he stroked my hair.
"I'll see you soon." And with that, he was gone. I sighed a heart wrenching sob, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and splayed myself on the bare mattress. I let my thoughts lose themselves in the forever of Jasper's touch.
My elated mood vanished as I got in range of Edward's gift. My thoughts shifted towards the research I had so readily finished in preparation for this. Not that I expected even half of what happened-Focus, research. I almost laughed at having to tell myself that. A vampire that couldn't focus. I calmed myself and forced myself to focus hard on the extensive research she had done. By the time that I got inside, Edward was already relaying her research and providing their own evidence and topics. Even Alice and Esme were contributing. They were too polite or perhaps too curious to ask why Athena's smell clung all over me. That being the case, of course Emmett asked, with Rosalie following.
"Yo, Jasper. You're back. Have a nice sleepover?" This time it was too hard to not completely show any humor. I managed not to laugh, but a smile did manage to escape. I turned away from Emmett's shocked expression at my usually solemn one. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. I chanted to myself. This time my thoughts were odd enough for even Edward to pay attention. And Edward's curiosity at my thoughts caught Esme's attention, etcetera. Edwards seemed to identify the oddly giddy mood I was in through his own experience.
"Impossible." I sobered as Edward connected the dots and realized that my feelings were reciprocated. I shrugged and recalled our interchanging of love words along with the immense feelings of love that I had sensed from Athena at the time, me brushing my hand along her cheek, her neck, shoulder-I stiffened and stopped my thoughts short since they were heading in a dangerous direction. Esme's intuition seemed to click as she realized my 'predicament'. She smiled so much like a proud mother that I couldn't help but smile back at her odd affection towards me.
"Oh, Jasper, I'm so happy for you! I'm so glad you found her so quickly." She hugged me and I politely returned the embrace. Edward shook his head as Emmett also connected the dots.
Emmett whistled suggestively. "Whoo! So how far did you get last night, bro? Did you go all the way?" His eyebrows waggled rudely, openly trying to taunt me. My thoughts wandered back to Athena in my arms, her fingers in my hair, lips - My mind shut down and focused on translating an old script into German, English, and Chinese all at once, a trick learned from Alice. Edward, who was so keenly attuned to my thoughts since I came home, suddenly became suspicious at why I was trying so hard to hide my thoughts.
"What are you hiding from me, Jasper?" He came and stood right in front of me, looking me straight in the eye. I averted my eyes, unable to hold it since I was hiding something. I felt everyone's curiosity grow as I did so. Emmett was the one to break my concentration.
"So you did do something. Did you make out?" His boisterous comment broke through my concentration and the scene of our kiss escaped for just one millisecond, but it was enough for Edward.
"What?!" Emmett's jaw dropped when Edward looked openly shocked as he did.
"Whoa, whoa, hold up...I was right? Dude, you just met her yesterday and you already made out with the chick? Damn, it took Edward months just to get that far. I guess Carlisle and Edward aren't the only ones who can hold back anymore. You blew right past us didn't you, Jasper." I turned away from them, my thoughts now focusing with excessive care on the certain design of a vase in the corner. If only they knew...but they didn't and I intend to keep it that way. Only when I felt a certain emotion come from Edward did I chuckle and answer Emmett's comment. I felt shock, concern, anxiety, and...jealousy? I couldn't help but chuckle because I knew why he was jealous. After all the angst and pain that he and Bella had to go through, Athena and I just skip it entirely. I felt a pang of annoyance grow in him as I guessed his thought process correctly. I chuckled again this time louder than I usually would which caught everyone's attention.
"To answer you, Emmett; I don't think I gained anymore self control than usual. In fact I'd say that getting that far was due to a lack of self control rather than the latter. I also had the luck of watching and learning from a similar situation." Emmett scratched his chin before grinning widely and smacking me on the back.
"Well whatever the case, congrats bro. I assume that you're gonna do it the same way as Edward right? Propose, have a baby, become an annoyingly happy vampire family and all that crap." For the first time since I came back from Athena's place, I felt hesitation. Our conversation of true love, soul mates, and unnecessary awkwardness ran through my mind. If we were already so...together, why was I so hesitant about this? What would hold me back from doing so? I knew that Athena would whole-heartedly agree with any of it, all of it. Then why did I feel this...aversion towards this conclusion? Was I like Edward who so vehemently refused to 'ruin' Bella's life with immortality even if it made all the sense in the world and it would in fact make her safe from any danger except other vampires? I felt Edward's anger grow as he read my thoughts and immediately, automatically, calmed him.
"Sorry." Edward sighed at my quiet apology.
"No you're not." I smirked at him, but it didn't last as I tried to find the source of hesitation and quickly enough, I found it. I was afraid. But of what?-I was afraid I wouldn't be strong enough. Strong enough to save her if she got pregnant. Strong enough not to kill her when I poured my venom into her. Strong enough to resist the pull of her blood. My teeth clenched at the thought of hurting her in any way when I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder. I stared at him, frustrated.
Will I be strong enough? My thoughts addressed him directly. Edward chuckled good heartedly and got rid of my worry.
"Of course you will. Bella's blood was much more potent for me than Athena's is to you. Even without that factor, just the thought repulses you and counteracts the thirst, doesn't it?" He smiled reassuringly as I confirmed this mentally. "Then you have nothing unusual to worry about." I nodded and wandered off, letting myself drown in(censored) thoughts of Athena.
(around five month time skip)
I heard the crunching snow of following footsteps behind me. I struggled not to quicken my footsteps at the alarm I felt at being followed. I cursed myself internally when I realized that I had forgotten the taser I used to carry around, though I hadn't used it in months. I grew too comfortable with Jasper always protecting me. Stupid! I chided myself as the footsteps inched closer. My breath grew more shallow as the suspense grew unbearable. Jasper was supposed to meet me halfway from my house after my last delivery. How far on the road was I? The panic put my thoughts in disarray. Am I close enough for Jasper to hear me? Smell me? Was I in range of his gift? Suddenly I was knocked to the ground by a harsh shove and roughly placed on my back. A slightly tall, average looking man was looming over me breathing heavily with a pocket knife in his right hand. I vaguely recognized him as one of the tourists that had come in a large group to my shop. He was wearing rather light clothing for such cold weather even if it was warmer, it was still cloudy and chilly. He put a leather gloved hand over my now open mouth.
"Shut up and don't struggle or I'll kill you." The man look unnerved and nervous, but over it all he looked...eager? Giddy? I felt the warm tears sting my cheeks as he used his knife to cut open my thick coat and shirt. His eyes brightened at the sight of my bra-covered chest and bare stomach. He took his hand off my mouth so he could touch my bare skin. Then he put his knife under the center of my bra and cut it, though he didn't take off my ruined bra immediately, as if to savor the moment before the reveal. I thought I would retch when I felt the familiar sense of peace that I got whenever I knew Jasper was near. I almost laughed insanely with relief, but instead my tears dried and I spoke to him with a cold, stony expression.
"You should run." He looked up surprised at my comment, making him stop his hand midair from removing my bra.
"What the hell are you talking about?" He held the knife to my throat at my bold comment. Looks like he doesn't like resistant women. That's when I heard a growling from beyond my head and watched as the man's head snapped up and his eyes widened in fear as the menacing growling sound grew louder. He looked around trying to find the source, but I knew no matter how hard he tried he wouldn't be able to catch Jasper's immortal speed. Suddenly the man was blown several feet away from me while Jasper appeared crouched in front of me with a crushed knife in his left hand. I noticed that Jasper's over shirt button up long-sleeved sweater vest was over my exposed body and quickly put it on after taking off my ruined clothes. I struggled to my feet and wobbled over to Jasper's crouched position. I peeked under Jaspers outstretched right arm to the man that was scrambling to his knees. Next I peeked up at Jasper's face and found that his lip was curled back inhumanly as he continued to growl unlike any beast on Earth. His eyes were a flat charcoal black and the bags under his eyes were deep and a very dark purple; his eyes were completely focused on my attacker. I saw his muscles coil as he prepared to jump at the rising rapist.