Adam

When I heard myself say the words, "We need to talk," I sounded a lot more sure of myself than I really was. I hoped that I looked it, then, too.

The day before he hadn't seemed to mind when I had kissed him. He had agreed to talk today. This morning, though, he'd avoided me and all but run away when I tried to talk to him. I hadn't seen him since I'd gone to sleep the night before… unless…

It started to make sense. If what I was thinking was true, then it would explain the look in his eyes when he'd choked out that we didn't have to talk, that he understood. It would explain the hurt look when I'd asked what he meant, because, really, I didn't know what had happened to me between about three and seven in the morning.

It also meant that the next time I saw Dean, all that guilt was gone. I was gonna kill him.

"What's up?" I asked, breaking the silence. Now that I suspected what it was about, the silence weighed heavily on my heart, making it hard to breathe.

His eyes dropped to the floor, but I hadn't missed the hurt. "I just… I thought… that…"

I figured out quickly that getting a coherent answer would be pretty impossible. Especially if he thought I knew what I'd done- which I didn't, sadly. I had been used to hurt him, somehow, and it hurt. "What happened that changed things?" I asked, trying to word it gently.

And, by the look on his face, failing. It wasn't really even hurt anymore, but just pure shock. "You didn't think that…!"

"Chuck! I don't know what I did! It wasn't me doing it, whatever it was! I wouldn't hurt you!" My mind just exploded the words out. There was no way to ask without hurting him, so I had to put it out there.

"How can you not know?" he asked. He didn't seem angry, just very upset and disappointed. That was even worse.

"I was kind of… possessed." It was really the only description for what had happened.

Whatever excuse Chuck had expected, that wasn't it. His jaw actually dropped. "Possessed? By… what? Demon? Angel?" He was beginning to look horrified. "I had a vision about it and I didn't even think about it after…" He was beginning to look guilty, which almost broke my heart. This wasn't his fault. It wasn't exactly mine either, but I'd take the blame if it meant I could make things right again.

"What was the vision?"

"It was of you, but it wasn't you… it was really short and I saw the caves with the people right after and I forgot!"

I shrugged, relieved that at least he might believe me now. "It wasn't a demon. And I wouldn't say yes to the angels." I knew he wouldn't say it, but I could feel the unspoken "you did before" hanging in the air between us. "Before was accidental and unintentional." Then I admitted something that I knew I would never tell anyone else, "I was scared."

He nodded, his confusion still evident. "What was it then?"

"Dean."

I could see the suspicion come flooding back and I felt it hit me like a punch in the face. "That makes no sense."

"I know," I told him, feeling miserable. "But I'm not lying." Maybe I sounded a bit whiney, but I didn't really care. I was starting to feel desperate.

He seemed to cave. "Explain what happened, then."

Glad for the chance I explained everything from the moment I woke up with that headache until now.

"I suppose it makes sense," he finally relented long after I'd finished talking.

I perked up, reminding myself horribly of a puppy. And even worse, I didn't care. How had my whole world come to center around this one person so quickly?

He nodded and gave me a small smile. "I believe you, Adam."

Honestly, in that moment I could have danced, or sung, or otherwise thoroughly embarrassed myself. Luckily, Bobby chose that moment to appear in the doorway of the room. "We're heading out, Adam. We need this supply run and I won't put it off any longer. Get yer asses down to the cars, ya idjits."

"Cars?" Chuck asked. "Plural?"

"Take the Impala," Bobby told me, tossing me the keys. I caught them in shock.

"Really?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's yours."

That shouldn't have made me as happy as it did. If I was a lesser person I would crash it for revenge against Dean, but I loved that car almost as much as he had. It was innocent in this battle- I could never hurt it.

It was mine.

Outside Bobby was talking to Jesse and Sami; both had opted to join on this supply run. Becky was allowed back in and receiving instruction as well, though she didn't appear to be listening. Our two newest recruits were listening at attention like good little soldiers.

He handed them each guns and knives. Jesse looked at home with the handgun he'd been given, sticking it instantly in his waistband before wandering over to us. "I guess I'm with you, then," he said. His gaze was a lot less vacant than it had been previously, only slightly empty now.

"How are you?" I asked out of curiosity.

He shrugged. "I'm fine. Settling in and all."

I had a feeling he wasn't going to say much more, but he didn't have time to anyways before a very over excited Becky was telling him to go in the truck instead.

Both girls came with us.

The ride was really long and awkward, honestly. I liked Sami, but she was flirting with me constantly. Even if I wasn't in what I suspected was love with someone else, liking her back would make me just a bit of a pedophile.

Becky was excitedly telling her all about The Winchesters, my brothers, and how amazingly sexy they were (if I hadn't been feeling awkward before, this was the part where I began to wish I was deaf) and how they just had to come back. As if it was their choice.

When we got to whichever store we were raiding- I didn't really care, so long as I was out of an enclosed space with them- and Bobby advised us to be careful going in.

This one was crawling with Croats.

Crowley went off on his own immediately. For the first time ever I popped the trunk of the impala, looking in at the armory inside. Chuck helped me by pointing out which ones Sam preferred, which ones Dean liked, and explaining what all of the amulets and other more random things were used for. In the end I settled on a rifle of some caliber, a few smaller knives for throwing in my pocket, and a large knife to fight with.

By the time we entered the fighting shots were already going off from the guns in Bobby's and Jesse's hands, bright bursts of lit gunpowder momentarily blinding my vision. I took aim as well, firing at the ones headed towards the girls. Sami had opted to fight in a more hand-to-hand combat style, despite the warning that the virus was spread through blood. As in, it wasn't wise to get close to them. She countered Bobby that her aim sucked and she was much better at actually attacking them, and he stormed off telling her that it was her own head and she could do what she wanted with it.

I had to admit, she fought well. She seemed to understand that I was shooting the ones coming at her from behind and the sides and she stayed out of my way. She was naturally graceful and made killing look like a choreographed ballet routine that she'd spent years perfecting.

Chuck was shooting from next to me and I realized that once he calmed down he was actually a good shot. He seemed to be defending Becky- though the poor clueless girl didn't even seem to notice the help- as she skipped along through the aisles, grabbing whatever she thought we might need. In the middle of the apocalypse, that girl was right at home. She'd always scare me, but I had to admire the strength of her insanity as well. It was staggering.

Bobby had left the firing squad now to head for the opposite side of the store from the girls. Jesse emptied the rest of his chamber, re-loaded, and headed off after Sami.

"Which way?" Chuck asked, glancing toward the liquor.

"Right," I told him, watching his expression fall. "But Bobby'll look after you no matter what he says. You'll be fine." He smiled, relieved, and nodded, running in that direction to catch up with Bobby before the Croats could reach him.

Honestly, he was just adorable sometimes.

I ran off after the girls, finding Becky first. "What have you got?" I asked, scanning the area around us slowly. I did not appreciate surprise attacks.

She showed me her bag and I had to admit that most of it was useless, at least as far as I was concerned, but she'd thought of a few important things. Baby clothes for Lynn's twins, more clothes in Sami, Lynn, and Jesse's sizes, and other such practicalities that the men, myself included, probably wouldn't have thought of. "Great," I told her, handing her a couple small knives. "Yell if anything attacks." I had a feeling she'd be okay- animals naturally either avoid or love crazies, and these things were right about animal level, so she'd probably be fine.

"Okay!" she agreed happily, taking the knives and skipping off once more. Ignorance is bliss, I supposed.

I kept going, every once in a while seeing something that looked important and adding it to the backpack lung over my arm. I finally found Sami in the back. She was cornered and surrounded by about eight of the buggers, still managing to hold her own. I started shooting, taking down seven in the time she took down one, and she grinned at me. "Thanks."

I nodded once. "No problem." I wandered a bit farther from her, towards the electronics section. I saw all the games I would have wanted before any of this had started. I saw a bunch of new games too. It seemed sad really that I would never get the chance to play them- electronics weren't very useful anymore.

I heard a scream and whirled, but something heavy knocked me aside before I had gotten my bearings and I went down. I looked up to see Sami falling, a smarter looking Croat ducking behind a shelf. I pushed myself up onto my knees, looking over at Sami to see a knife protruding from her chest right above her heart. It didn't look good.

"What happened?" But by the time I asked the question I'd already roughly figured it out. The thing had taken an aim at me while my back was turned and she'd pushed me out of the way, taking the fall for me. "Why?" I wondered aloud.

She half laughed, choking on blood. "'Cause I love you."

It wasn't the first time that a girl had told me those words, but I had a feeling that it was the first time any girl had meant it. "I… can't love you. I'm sorry," I told her sadly, honestly meaning it.

"I know," she said, smiling sadly.

I knew that she was dying, and if she'd sacrificed her life for me there was at least one thing I could give her. I leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips for a few moments. When I pulled back she was smiling slightly, her eyes closed. "Thanks," she whispered. After a few more moments the rise and fall of her chest stopped. She didn't take any more gasping breaths.

She was dead.