Claire pulled up on the hill a grey tombstone on top, she opened the car door and grimaced, this can't be Alex, it just can't, it wasn't meant to turn out this way. She looked around her, the beautiful hills of Drover's spread till the horizon, she finally got back the pride, she used to have and the other hills of Killarny behind her, but still an unknown grave stood tall on the mountain. She sighed walking cautiously to it. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath her lungs filling with the sweet Drover's and Killarny air, but when she opened them she saw a sight she didn't want to see 'Alex Marion Ryan, Beloved Father and Husband, Greatly Missed but Never Forgotten' She burst into tears as she fell to her knee's, touching the photo of him, ever so lightly. He had gotten so handsome in his aging, he was gorgeous, but now he was gone. She have never got to say goodbye, to kiss him again…."Alex, if anything happens to me, just know that I love you,"
"Nothing's going to happen to you Claire, we've got the rest of our lives together," …. She lent on the side of the grave and sobbed the echo of them clear as the afternoon sun was hot on her back a feeling she hadn't felt for years. She sat up still trying to hold her tears, Alex was gone forever. Alex wanted children with her, he wanted to marry her, he wanted to live on Drover's with her, but he never got that chance, neither did Claire, she wiped her eyes, looking over Drover's a plan forming in her head,
"I love you Alex," She sighed kissing her two finger's before lightly pressing it on his picture. She got up still glancing from Drovers and Alex's grave, a devious plan coming to life in her head.
Claire arrived back at Drover's pulling into the shed with a cloud of dust behind, she was about to run back into the house and compile her devious plan, when something caught her eye. The horses, Drover's Run still had horses; she smiled broadly remembering the old days, where she would gallop across the paddocks, her mind going blank as they raced at sound's speed. She got out of the car and walked over to the round yard, where she 5 years ago trained brumby after brumby. She looked around, 3 new horses were there, one's she had never seen before, but Oscar, Tess' first horse stood solid but old, his freckled eyes recognizing Claire straight away, he gave a gentle whinny. Claire chuckled slightly as she patted his forehead, but then her own horse, Eagle came through the herd, her smile broadened. He had gotten greyer, but he was still alive, she went through the wooden fence and wrapped her arms around his neck, never would she have done that 5 years ago. Eagle nuzzled her gently as another familiar pair of eyes and ears came looking for treat, Tucker was still tall and lanky as ever. Star and Buddy were gone though and replaces with a chestnut mare, bay mare and a brown gelding. Claire kissed Eagle as she glanced over to the tack; her saddle stood out from them all, the dirtiest. No one had touched it, she walked through the frisky group of horses, most of them sensing her vulnerability and steering clear. Claire ran her finger's along the warn, but strong leather. She smiled again, glancing over to Eagle and then back to the saddle, her heart yearned for the feeling of weightlessness made by riding high on a strong intelligent mammal and maybe it would give her some joy to her soul, now that Alex had taken half of it with him when he passed. She picked the saddle up and brushed the spiders and spider webs free; she'd never realized how heavy saddles actually were until she heaved both the blanket and saddle on Eagles back at once, he stood waiting for the bridle, he hadn't been ridden since Claire's departure, he wouldn't let anyone, but now his owner was back, he too got a shin back into his coat. Claire pulled the bridle on momentarily forgetting which way it was meant to go, but soon figured it out it all came flooding back, her horse sense was coming back. Maybe it would be easier to live with the brumbies; they were much simpler than humans. She pulled herself onto eagles back with great difficulty, after years of not riding her muscles pulled easily, but she didn't care she felt on top of the world as she pushed Eagle into a flying gallop out of the yards and out into the wide spaces. The wind made her hair billow behind like a flag. She felt alive, feeling the power of thundering hooves move under her, she got lost in the sound of rushing wind and galloping hooves.
Meanwhile Tess arrived not long after Claire left on her wild ride, her worry had increased, not only was Claire not at the pub, she wasn't even in town. The Drover's Ute was back, Tess ran into the house as soon as she saw that Claire was back, finally she could see her sister,
"Claire!" She yelled busting through the laundry door and into the kitchen. Stevie and Jodi looked up shocked and surprised,
"Did you find her?" Jodi asked as Stevie stood up promptly,
"She's here, the Utes back," Tess exclaimed breathless just from the little run, years of not riding had to put a toll on Tess,
"The Utes back?" Jodi asked now standing up,
"Yes agh!' Tess exclaimed rubbing her face harshly, "Where's her stuff?" Tess asked the look in her eye's told Stevie she wasn't kidding,
"In the main bedroom, why?" Jodi asked but Tess had left and her thumping footsteps where heard all the way up the stairs and into the bedroom. Jodi looked at Stevie confused, until Tess came rushing back in with Claire's bag,
"Tess! What are you doing?" Stevie asked as Tess began almost throwing all of Claire's things out,
"Looking," Tess sighed as she went through more and more clothes, old ones, sultry ones, modern ones. Jodi looked at the clothes, even by looking at them you could tell Claire had changed, there wasn't a work shirt in sight, "Found something!" Tess exclaimed in a victorious fashion as she pulled out a bundle of pictures and a news article. Tess pushed the clothes aside and sat at the kitchen table, so too did Jodi and Stevie,
"what are the photos of?" Jodi asked as Stevie pulled them from the ribbon,
"her old pictures," Stevie said sighing looking at the picture in her hand, Claire and Alex with Charlotte. Stevie sighed again Alex was so happy with Claire, maybe she had done the wrong thing, she handed the picture to Jodi, the guilt was too much. The next was of Charlotte as a baby with Claire cradling her, a wide smile plastered on her face, Claire getting pregnant had certainly started off as a nightmare, but turned out to be a wonderful love between the two. Stevie handed the picture to Jodi as Tess looked at the one Stevie had in her hands, which was of Tess and Claire as young girls, Claire only 7 and Tess about 5,
"Wow, when was that taken?" Stevie exclaimed looking at the next picture, Claire astride Eagle as a young woman only around 22,
"That was taken before I came back," Tess said taking the picture from Stevie hand as Jodi glanced at it. Tess scanned the picture, Claire was gorgeous, her sister was the lucky one, inheriting beauty and the brains. Jodi passed the next picture of Claire and her father Jack, Tess hadn't got much of her father's trait's apart from the stubbornness Claire got everything apart from the looks which she got from her mother,
"Wow that was a long time ago!" Jodi exclaimed seeing the picture of Claire in front of the Drovers Run sign, when it still had Australian Bloodlines on it, she placed it down as they looked at confusion at the last picture, of Claire in Peter's arms,
"Why would Claire still have a picture of Peter?" Jodi asked disgusted, she'd never liked him one bit,
"I dunno," Stevie frowned, but Tess smiled a sincere smile,
"Claire loved Peter," she sighed as Stevie and Jodi looked at her confused,
"He tried to kill her?" Jodi said rather rudely,
"Yes, but she loved him Jodi. He was the first man she ever loved, he will always he her first love, you never get over that," Tess said taking the picture and putting it down, of course Claire was an idiot to still love him, but he was after all her first love,
"What's the news article?" Stevie asked looking at it under Tess's elbow, she pulled it out and flattened it,
"What's the date on it?" Jodi asked holding onto the corner of the paper,
"Uh twenty sixth of January two thousand and nine," Tess said smoothing the wrinkled and ripped paper,
"What's on it?" Jodi asked, reading upside down wasn't exactly her forte,
"Fifteen year old shot by police," Tess read out, the tittle was accompanied by a picture of a young boy, his father and fleeing car,
"Why would Claire keep that?" Stevie asked looking up at Tess as they heard footsteps outside the laundry, followed by the door opening then slamming closed, it was Claire. Claire felt heartbroken but exhilarated her ride was amazing, but she paused as she turned into the kitchen, Tess. Claire furrowed her brow slightly; it sure was Tess older, but still Tess. Tess looked at Claire her mouth almost gapping, she'd changed so much her hair now as long as her own and her eyes looked dead, it shocked Tess to the bone,
"Claire?" Tess said almost inaudible,, Claire stood rooted to the ground, "I've missed you so much," Tess said getting up to hug Claire, but she stepped away and glanced at the kitchen table were her things lay scattered everywhere,
"What are you doing with my stuff?" She asked walking past Tess, to stuff her things back into the bag, Stevie and Jodi watched and waited,
"We didn't know where you were?" Tess said as Claire stood to look at her sister once more,
"You betray my Tess," Claire said heaving her bag over her shoulder, "You said you'd look after Charlotte and Alex," at this point Claire had noticed Stevie sitting at the kitchen table, she walked up and put her fist on the table, "I thought I asked you to get out," Claire hissed looking Stevie in the eye,
"Claire that's not.."
"Jodi Alex loved me! Stevie's second best and went behind my back," Claire yelled interrupting Jodi's peace offering. Tess watched in horror as Stevie shrugged and left promptly,
"Claire!" Tess stated as she went to grab Claire's arm, but Claire pulled away,
"Don't touch me Tess! I don't want you as my sister" Claire yelled before storming up the stairs, leaving Tess just as shell shocked as Jodi was yesterday.
Tess sat at the kitchen table, holding back her tears, from the fight with Claire. How could she say such a hurtful thing? 'I don't want you as my sister',
"You okay Tess?" Jodi asked placing a caring hand on Tess',
"Bit shocked actually," She said smiling halfheartedly,
"So were me and Stevie," Jodi sighed placing her hand back around her warm cup of tea,
"I just don't know how she changed so much," Tess said shaking her head in disbelief, "You went on witness protection and your fine," Tess added taking a sip of coffee,
"Maybe it's still the old Claire, deep inside," Jodi said mysteriously,
"What do you mean?" Tess asked looking up from her coffee,
"Maybe she's bottling everything up, like she did when she broke up with Peter the first time and the second,"
"And the third," Tess added smiling,
"And the fourth," Jodi added smiling back, their sister made the record of going back to the same person again and again, "Maybe I should talk to her, before Grace and that come back?" Tess asked about to get up promptly,
"No point Tess there due back any minute now," Jodi sighed rolling he eyes as they heard the laundry door, waiting for Grace to appear they were shocked when Lachlan appeared,
"What are you doing here Lachlan?" Jodi asked as he stood by the door, dressed in his best attire which was a black buttoned shirt and jeans, the staple to any guys wardrobe in Gungellan,
"I'm looking for Claire," He said unaware that Claire had only been in town for not even 24 hours,
"What do you want my sister for?" Tess asked confused at how this guy even knew who Claire was,
"Ah Tess this is Lachlan he's a farm hand at Killarny," Jodi said sensing Tess's confusion,
"What do you want her for?" Tess asked standing up at the young man entered the kitchen,
"To go out," he answered in matter of fact way, Tess frown increased, why did this young guy want to go on a date with Claire, she was almost double his age, give or take a few years,
"Your using my sister?" Tess asked in disgust,
"No he's not!" was heard behind them it was Claire, showered and now looking for something to eat, the first time in almost 24 hours,
"Claire what are you doing with this boy?" Tess asked frowning as Claire walked straight past her to the fridge,
"None of your business," Claire nodded taking out a plate of fruit,
"Well I'm sorry Lachlan but you must have your wires crossed," Tess said about to escort him out of the house, when Claire grabbed Lachlan by his wrist,
"He's staying," Claire said in Tess's face and left the kitchen with a plate of fruit and Lachlan. Jodi watched in total amazement,
"What's that about?" Tess asked her voice getting agitated,
"I have no idea," Jodi said watching Tess pace a little before sitting down rather restlessly,
" How old is that boy?" Tess asked point to the direction of the stairs,
" Ah 19, why? You don't think Claire would..." Jodi trailed off it was shocking thinking her old boss would be a bit loose, let alone her old boss being her sister,
"I hope she's learnt her lesson about one night stands by now with the whole Peter thing," Tess stated rolling her eyes before resting her weary head on her arms. That's when Grace, Regan and Jaz burst through the laundry door, laughing and giggling until they saw Tess and her expression.
"So what's with your sister?" Lachlan asked as he lay on the bed, Claire opposite him and the fruit in to middle,
"Over protective I guess," Claire said picking the fruit from her teeth,
"I really enjoyed the other night," Lachlan smiled, Claire smiled back she had to admit it was a good fun, very good fun. Lachlan lent over to kiss Claire, she kissed him back lightly still no sure whether she could go through with this now sober. Lachlan inched closer to her still kissing her, the sweet taste of strawberry on her lips. They parted to look into each other's eyes for a second, Claire frowned before her mouth was covered again with the lips of Lachlan and his hand travelling ever so fast up her side, Claire pulled away slightly still frowning, taking one last look into Lachlan's light blue eyes', she shook her head,
"I'm sorry I can't do this," she said as Lachlan took his hand from her waist, he looked at her slightly confused,
"What's wrong?"
"I can't do this Lachlan your half my age and Alex.." Claire trailed off, she didn't dare look into Lachlan's eyes,
"Claire Alex's gone, he's not coming back, you don't have to wait for him," Lachlan said cupping her cheek with his right palm, turning her head towards him. He kissed her twice lightly, Claire's body was over loaded the pain, the sorrow, the pleasure, the lust, god it was too much,
"I'm sorry I can't do this now, maybe later," She sighed taking the plate from the bed to put it on her bedside table, Lachlan got of the bed giving Claire on last passionate kiss. Lachlan closed the door behind him as Claire lay down, she was exhausted, why did everything exhaust her these days? She sighed before nuzzling up to the pillow, hugging it as she drifted off to sleep, slowly but surely.
Tess stood at Claire's door looking at the chipping paint, worn and torn as she opened it with a creek, there she saw Claire laying there, Tess knew she wasn't asleep, sister's intuition weather Claire liked it or not . Claire felt Tess eyes on her as; she closed her eyes, as she heard Tess' footsteps get closer until she sat on the side of the bed. Tess sighed looking at her sister, she no longer saw Claire as a brave, strong, stubborn person, but a weak, fragile and uncontrollable one,
"Claire I'm so sorry," Tess sighed looking around the room, it was almost identical to the way it used too, causing a painful and fearful memory to come crashing back… 'Tess stared into Charlotte's blue eyes, she was so clueless to what had just happened, Tess glanced up to see Alex, his face stained with tears, Tess held Charlotte so tightly, she was the only thing left of her sister,
"They've taken her to the hospital," Tess said quietly as Alex shook his head in disbelief, his eyes filling with more tears, "She'll be in some room, somewhere" Charlotte smiled at Tess as she spoke, "Some cold room… I should have stayed with her, I should be with her," Tess sobbed as Alex looked over to Claire's bed, the red doona making the black velvet box and gold ring stand out. Tess looked up to Alex as Charlotte stared to grizzle, following his gaze she saw the ring, both Charlotte and Tess began crying as Alex exited the room, too painful to stay'… Tess shook herself everything was fine now Claire was alive right next to her in the flesh and blood,
"I'm sorry about Charlotte and me and Alex and Drover's it was just after two years of nothing, we figured Peter had found you and…" Tess sighed again, beginning to feel quiet awkward about talking to her sister about her own death, "It's a shame you didn't keep in contact though," Tess said stroking a strand of hair from Claire's face. Claire's eyes were still firmly shut as if trying to shut Tess out of her space, out of her bedroom and her life, "I've got a couple of things to tell you Claire," Tess stated feeling slightly anxious about the whole, breaking the news that Jodi was there sister and there cousins living at Drover's, "Jodi's our sister Claire," Claire's eyes flew open, Jodi was her what? But after thinking about it for a split second it made sense. Night after night she would here Meg sneak out of her father's room, Claire frowned how much more news was there? "And we have three cousin's Claire, Grace, Regan and Jaz, there living here at Drover's," Tess said as happily as she could. But her voice was shaky, due to Claire's uncontrollable attitude, god knows what she could do, it was just like looking after some moody teenager, "There down stairs if you want to meet them," Claire heard Tess say as she sunk into the pillow deeper. Tess sighed defeded, Claire hadn't changed one thing and that was her stubborn streak, an uneasy silence filled the room. Tess looked around the room again, swallowing hard and sighing hoping it would help her think of something to say, and she had just the thing! "Claire do you remember the week before you left?" she asked, there was no answer giving Tess the signal to keep going, "And I wrote that letter to Charlotte, because I thought I had breast cancer," Claire gained herself for another sorry story, she curled her lip slightly agitated, "And we had a fight but made up over Charlottes crib and I said that we had 'no past, we barely have a present?" She asked, but there was nothing, she prayed to god this would work to get Claire to open up, "That's why we're here, we can make up for the twenty years I was gone, for the four you were, your my sister Claire, we need to look out for each other, Jodi included," Tess said seeing the tension in Claire's jaw, "I want you to talk to me Claire, something's not right i can tell, whether you like it or not I'm still a McLod," Tess chuckled, in reference to hers and Claire's names they wrote on the office desk as children, 'Claire McLod, Tess McLod' Claire still remembered how Tess had got Drovers back and got their fathers desk back during her break up with Peter the first time. Claire sighed before rolling onto her back, looking into Tess eyes, which pleaded for the truth,
"what happened?" Tess asked shifting to give Claire room, taking a breath almost for courage, staring up at the ceiling Claire started,
"I was a cop, did cop things," she said, although I wouldn't have won a 'best detailed sentence award' it was a start, "But I still missed Drovers and Charlotte and you and Alex," Tess saw the hurt enter Claire's glazed eyes, "I turned to alcohol, sex, I slept with my boss and a corrupt cop, " Claire sighed, grimacing ever so slightly, "I went to get cocaine for him but I was caught," Claire said as she looked at Tess reluctantly. Tess looked at Claire shocked her sister would do such a thing! The straight talking Claire that never even got a speeding fine was dappling with drugs, "I went to Melbourne, it was horrible," Claire saw Tess frown in the corner of her eye as she stared up at the ceiling, "I couldn't bare having all those memories of Alex and Charlotte, i got drunk and made a horrible mistake," Claire shook her head, grimacing at the emotional pain that came washing over her, "I went home with a guy, David he had a son, Jason," Tess's eyes opened wide,
"The news article?" Tess asked lightly, Claire nodded as she paused, needing to burst into tears, but she held it in as best she could, "David used to beat us, and then at night... at night when he was drunk or stoned or if I was, he tried to force himself on me Tess," Claire said as tears streamed down to her hair line, Tess sighed in distress as she grabbed Claire's hand, she was shaking,
"What happened after Melbourne?" Tess inquired, stroking her thumb on Claire's hand. Claire looking to the ceiling again as she sat up,
"I went to Cape Jaffa with Rob,"
"Rob?" Tess asked still her caring hand of Claire's fragile hand,
"He was in witness protection too, but I didn't want to do it anymore Tess, I went to find Peter," Claire sniffled as she looked to Tess, who looked on eager for more information, "But I never got there the hit man found me," Claire sobbed lightly, "I thought I was dead," she added shaking her head in grief,
"Why?"
"The hit man forced himself on me like David did and he had a gun to my throat, but Neil came,"
"Neil?" Tess interrupted, which was for the best as Claire had time to regain a little composure,
"He's my officer, The hit man had the gun to my throat , but Neil shot him. Tess he died on me!" Claire said as more tears streaked her check, Tess watched in horror, sadness and shock, what a horrible thing it must have been, she had never seen her sister cry this much, not even as children, "There was blood everywhere," Claire grieved,
"Uh Claire," Tess gushed completely shell shocked before embracing her sister into a hug, Claire held Tess tightly it felt as if a weight was lifted from her shoulders, to finally tell someone the pain she went through physically and mentally, but it still hurt,
"Claire I'm gonna stay here with you as long as you need okay?" Tess said rocking her sister gently as they hugged, not wanting to let go after so long,
"What about Nick?" Claire questioned parting from Tess,
"Well his contract in Argentina is almost over, I think it's time to come home don't you?" Tess smiled, Claire smiled back at her sister's contagious smile, Tess had brought so much fun and laughter into Claire's life, but it wasn't until now she actually noticed, "Oh and I have something to show you," Tess exclaimed still smiling, trying to take Claire's mind off her traumatic experience, for now. Claire frowned but still had a playful smirk of her lips, that's what Tess was waiting for the cheeky mysterious smile of Claire's, all she wanted now was the gutsy bold laugh the old Claire had, it would come in time,
"Come on," Tess said grabbing Claire's hand a taking her to Charlottes old room where baby Claire lay sleeping. Claire looked at Tess strangley until she saw the two year old fast asleep her frown was relaced with a smile,
"She's gorgeous Tess, What's her name?" Claire asked taking the todler's hand into her own, the soft skin reminding Claire so much of Charlotte it hurt, but hurt in a good way she'd get her little 'BOM' back with the help of Tess,
"Her names Claire," Tess smiled as Claire looked up at Tess touch her sister had done such a wonderful thing. There was a silence between the two as Claire stroked the little girls hand, her blonde curles almost exact to Tess's when she was younger. Tess watched Claire with baby Claire and knew she had to get Charlotte back, asap!
"So Annie Oakley, how do you like your hair?" Tess asked chuckling, Claire looked up at Tess and smiled as she took a handful of her hair,
"It's good, but much rather it shorter," she said as she twirled it between her fingers,
"I'll take you to town tomorrow," Tess smiled wrapping her arm around her sister, this was how it was ment to be happy and fun, "Well dinner's nearly ready, so if you wanna come down and meet averyone?" Tess suggested as she began to walk out of the room, Claire replced her hand back in baby Claire's hand,
"I'll be down in a minute," Claire replied looking over the todler, Tess smiled before leaving Auntie and Niece alone. Tess made her way down the stairs, into the kitchen were Jodi, Grace, Regan and Jaz waited axiously,
"How is she?" Jodi asked, the four of them had waited anxiously on edge for almost half an hour, for a noise, a yell, something,
"She's fine, She's coming down for tea," Tess said making her way over to her signature dish. It was Moroccan lamb, "And I'd cut her some slack too," Tess added as she carried the large orange pot into the hallway, Grace, Regan, Jodi, and Jaz following closely,
"Why?" Regan asked as they entered the dining room, making themselves comfortable as they heard footsteps down the stairs,
"I'll tell you later," Tess whispered as Claire anxiously made her way into the dining room. Grace was the first to see her, once thinking she would be the one to loose Drover's Grace looked up to Claire, the first female owner. Regan smiled, she was what all the fuss was about, her renowned cousin Claire McLeod. Jaz watched as Claire sat at the head of the table, this was the woman that Alex was grieving over four years ago, when she came looking for Tess, she could now she the reason. Claire looked up fearful of unwanted eye contact but she had to say something!
"I just want to say, I'm sorry," she sighed as Tess dished the plates out, the four of them watched Claire carefully, "I'm sorry for everything I've done and Jodi I'm happy," Claire paused her words were getting caught up, it felt so awkward to initially come back from the dead, "I'm happy your our sister," Claire added smiling at Jodi, who smiled back sighing a weight was definitely lifted off her shoulders now. Claire turned her gaze to the three woman on her right,
"Ah Claire this is Grace," Tess said sitting down next to Jodi,
"Hi," Grace stated smiling, Claire smiled back as reply, it was going to take some time to adjust to all of this,
"I'm Regan, it's great to finally meet you," Regan said smiling too, Tess and Jodi watched as the family reunion continued with Claire again smiling as a reply to Regan and then again after Jasmine said her long awaited hello to her oldest cousin. Claire looked down at her plate as they started to eat, her first proper meal since Fischer, but come to think of it she hadn't had a meal like this in years, she looked up and caught Tess' worried stare, Claire smiled picking up he fork, reassuring her sister everything was okay. It was about time she got back to her old ways, starting with eating right, cutting her hair and being boss again, it almost exhilarated her just thinking about it.