Nintendo High
Chapter 10: All Hallows Peeves
(Originally posted on deviantART on January 25, 2013.)
The Tuesday before Halloween was like any typical Tuesday. The faculty of Nintendo High were holding one of their weekly staff meetings in the teacher's lounge after the day's classes had let out. They had just about wrapped up, and couldn't wait to get out of the room filled with the ugliest pink furniture in existence. "...and as I'm sure you've heard already," Masterson said as his last announcement of the meeting, "there's been news passing of a Halloween party taking place this Saturday, so those with later-day classes might notice their students' attention span lacking."
"What, more so than usual?" Kamek asked sarcastically. A few of the others present let out a laugh.
"Haha, yes, well then," Masterson continued. "Also, next Monday is Halloween, and as is with every year, everyone will be allowed to dress in costume for the day, both students and staff. So, anything else on your minds?"
"I got nothin'," Officer Pliskin said. He casually put his hand in one of his pockets.
"You better not be reaching for a cigarette, Pliskin," Masterson warned him.
"No, no," Pliskin hastily replied. "'Course not."
"While we're still all here," Agatha Mort, one of the history teachers, interrupted, "I'm going to need a guest speaker form for Thursday."
"All right, then, I'll get that printed out for you real quick—" At that moment, a slightly muffled science-fiction-sounding tune began to play in the room. "Er, sorry about that," Masterson said, embarrassed. He pulled his ringing cell phone out of his pocket and answered the caller. "Hello? ...Oh, Mr. Emmerich! Long time, no talk. How are you?" He turned back to the other teachers and staff. "I'll just take this outside," he said, and did just that. As Masterson left, Pliskin couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
"You planned that, didn't you?" Jones asked him, smirking.
"Yep," Pliskin admitted. "He'll be kept busy for quite a while." He then let a sadistic grin spread across his face. "Now let's get started. You all know what Monday is. Anyone willing to share their plans?"
"Revealing it'd spoil the surprise for everyone," Kamek chuckled.
"Wait, what's going on Monday?" Navi asked. "Well, aside from Halloween, of course."
"Oh, that's right, you only started teaching here this past February," Agatha said. "Basically every Halloween, all the teachers and staff try to scare the pants off of Masterson."
"And whoever pulls it off gets their Thanksgiving dinner paid off in full, courtesy of this guy," DK added, nodding toward Pliskin.
"Well, since we have a newbie among us this year, let's take the time to go over the rules again," Pliskin said. "Number one, no trying to scare him before 7 am or after 3:30 pm. Number two, no real violence is allowed, but illusions of violence through magic or trickery are okay."
"Number three, no weeping angels," Samus added with a sigh. "God, those things've been overused..."
"What are—"
"Never mind."
"You all have fun on Monday," Ballyhoo chuckled. "I think I'll pass this year."
"Wait, didn't you win last year?" Jones asked.
"Exactly."
"Well, I think that wraps up this discussion," Pliskin said. He took out the device from his pocket that he had used to signal Masterson's caller, and pushed the button again to signal for the caller to end his diversion.
Soon enough, Masterson had hung up his phone and re-entered the room. "Sorry about that, everyone," he said apologetically. "What did I miss?"
"Nothing, really," Jones replied.
"...Right." Masterson didn't get his position as principal just because the school had been founded by his ancestor; he was an intelligent man, and could always tell when people were up to something. Still, on good faith, he chose to ignore it for the time being. "Well then," he continued, "if we're done here, let's bring this meeting to a close. I'll get that form for you, Agatha, and as for the rest of you, good night and I'll see you tomorrow." With that, the teachers and staff disbanded, the gleams of plans for scaring in their eyes.
Saturday was the day of Peach's big Halloween party, and those who had been invited were busy making their last-minute preparations. Mario had almost finished up his vampire costume, and was now attempting to put the false teeth on in front of the mirror. "Lessee if these actually fit right..." he muttered as he picked up the first of the two fangs.
"Hey, Mario!" Luigi shouted from the other room. "I finally got a costume!"
"What, just today?" Mario shouted back, still trying to finagle the first fang. "Took you long enough, huh?"
"Yeah!" A brief pause, then, "Wanna see?"
"Sure, just bring it to the bathroom," Mario replied. Then realizing what he might've implied, he added, "I'm decent!"
A barrage of footsteps were heard, soon followed by a knock on the bathroom door's frame. Mario turned to see Luigi, who was already dressed in his costume; a banana. Upon seeing this, Mario burst into laughter. "Oh god! Th-that's awesome, bro!" he exclaimed in between laughs. "Ahh, I almost dropped the tooth down the sink..."
Link straightened the specialty wig that had arrived just the previous day. It had cost the better part of his paycheck from the ranch, but it was well worth it as creating a custom Death the Kid wig is commonly known to be a pain in the rear; also, being high quality, it would still be quite usable in the event that he was able to attend an anime convention. "Hope the wig doesn't get helmet hair," he said to himself. "Oh well." Straightening it a bit again, since he knew someone would be bound to bother him about it if it wasn't as close to perfect as he could get it, he exited the bathroom with a little dance in his step. He was almost down the stairs when he noticed Tony standing in front of the front door, wearing a store-bought Iron Man costume and holding a trick-or-treat bucket.
"You're coming in costume, huh?" Tony asked.
Link just stared, confused. "What're you talking about?" he asked.
"Mom said you were taking me trick-or-treating," Tony said. He pulled down his mask for emphasis.
Link turned slowly, walked back up the stairs and headed for their mother's room. "Mooom!" he called out. He looked fine, but there was a sense of anger in his voice.
"What's wrong, Link?" his mother asked once he had arrived in her room.
"When did you tell Tony I'd take him trick-or-treating?" he asked.
"I thought that was your plan all along," his mom said, confused. "I mean, you have a costume and everything."
"This isn't just for Halloween," Link insisted. "Besides, I've already been invi—"
"Link, this is the last year he's going to get to do this," his mom said. "I'm sure whatever plans you had tonight aren't as important as spending time with your only brother."
Link let out a groan of annoyance and stormed down the stairs. He then turned to Tony. "Well, Iron Midget, ready to completely ruin my evening?" he asked angrily.
Tony was about to answer, but the doorbell cut him off. Being closer, Tony opened the door and let in Skull Kid, who was dressed as Excalibur, another character from the same show as Link's costume. "All right, who's ready for some par-tay?!"
"...I could've sworn you'd be dressed as Edward Elric..." Link said.
"I figured being an annoying character would suit me better," Skull Kid said. He then noticed that Link still looked a bit upset. "What's wrong?"
"Seems I'm taking Tony trick-or-treating tonight instead of going to the party..." Link sighed.
"...Y'know..." Skull Kid said, whispering in case Mrs. Mancini was listening, "Peach said there'd be candy at the party, and I doubt she'd be opposed to one extra guest..."
"You got a point," Link said, grinning. "And this is Peach we're talking about, so it'd be both fun and safe."
"What're you guys going on about?" Tony asked.
Link smiled, turned to Tony, and said, "If you promise not to tell Mom, we'll show you how the big kids spend their Halloween."
Even in its early stages, the party at Peach's house was looking to be the event of the year. Everyone present was dancing, relaxing, and generally having a good time. "I'm so glad everyone I invited could make it!" Peach exclaimed, matching Mario in her own vampire outfit.
"Who in their right mind would pass this up?" Mario asked. "Everyone knows your parties are always the best—" He had to stop talking for a bit to brush away glitter that was raining down on his face."Cut that out!" he said to Wario, who was wearing his normal outfit aside from a smugly grinning paper mask that barely obscured his own grin.
"Don't blame me, I thought all vampires sparkled!" Wario laughed. Peach and Mario stared at him angrily.
"Wario!" Waluigi exclaimed. He was dressed in all black with a grey zodiac symbol on his t-shirt, with grey face-paint and gloves, black dyed hair, and candy corn-colored horns. "What's this stupid face thing? I thought you wanted us to both be trolls!"
"Hey, I'm troll-face, troll face!" Wario chuckled. "I didn't specify what kind of troll, stupid! You probably just went with whatever came up on Google first."
"That's what comes up first on Google!" Waluigi stated, pointing at Wario's mask. "I bothered to do research for this stupid costume; I would've cross-dressed for you if my zodiac sign matched with one of the girls!"
Meanwhile, Ivo (dressed as Dr. Stein from Soul Eater), Dedede (a ninja), and Ganondorf (a half-transformed werewolf) were hanging around the refreshments table, watching the dance floor. "So I heard Peach got the restraining order she had on Bowser repealed," Dedede said.
"Yeah," Ivo confirmed. He turned the oversized screw attached to his head, which was really nothing more than a noisemaker inside a cardboard cylinder. "It was difficult for him, since she set a few steep conditions for it."
"So what'd he have to do?" Ganondorf asked.
"First, he had to write a page-long apology statement," Ivo said.
"And second?" Dedede asked.
"He had to wear an embarrassing outfit to the party." Ivo pointed over to where Bowser was dancing. He was wearing what looked to be a Marilyn Monroe-style dress that had been let out ten times over, complete with a curly blonde wig, though without shoes due to the size of his feet.
Dedede nodded in approval. "I'd say that counts as embarrassing," he said.
At that moment, Prince Boo and Petey Piranha approached the three guys. While Prince Boo had taken a classy route with his costume, having dressed in typical masquerade ball attire, Petey Piranha had dressed as a slasher flick villain complete with a hockey mask. "Lookin' good, guys!" Petey said to them.
"A wolfman, a ninja, and a mad scientist," Prince Boo commented with his typical toothy grin. "Nice costumes you got there, hehe."
"That reminds me," Ivo said. "Dedede, why're you dressed as a ninja?"
"Because ninjas are silent and deadly," Dedede said with a sly grin. Ivo gave Dedede an odd look, then realized what Dedede had meant. He put his arms up in frustration and walked away.
Meanwhile, Mario was spending most of his time at the party with Peach, understandably so. "So did you ever find out about what happened the night I stayed over?" Mario asked. "I meant to ask sooner, but I forgot."
"Oh yeah," Peach said. She had almost completely forgotten about that incident. "The security officer said he saw a kid with white hair hanging around, but he let him go because he seemed pretty harmless."
"Well, that's a relief." The party continued on with everyone in good spirits; well, everyone except for Waluigi, who was becoming increasingly annoyed that people kept making references to the comic that his costume originated from. He finally got so frustrated that he flew into an uncontrollable rage. He took the horns off his head and stomped on them, snapping the headband clean in two, then he took off the zodiac t-shirt and used it to wipe the paint from his face, finally tossing it onto the floor and storming off, letting out a long and strained yell throughout his entire tantrum. Thankfully, this brief moment did nothing to dampen everyone else's fervor.
Halfway down the walkway from Peach's house, Waluigi's rage had greatly subsided, but he didn't feel comfortable returning to the party after he had made such an ass of himself. Instead, he contented himself with walking home, knowing that the streets would be relatively empty with everyone either at parties or the annual downtown trick-or-treat event. "I'm going to have black dandruff for days," Waluigi sighed to himself. As he kept walking, he accidentally walked into a boy dressed in white. "Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going," Waluiigi hastily apologized. "You okay?"
The boy stood up, staring off somewhere past Waluigi. "You really shouldn't wear all black at night," the boy finally said. "You'll be hard to see. You could get hurt."
"...Right," Waluigi replied. The boy then walked off, his steps uneven and his whole movement being very wobbly and erratic. "Hey, do you need any help there?" Waluigi asked, but the boy didn't respond. "Weirdo..."
The day of Halloween finally came. Students and staff alike had arrived in costume, but soon the already odd day would become much more hectic. Kamella ran as fast as she could to Principal Masterson's office, arriving in a panic. "P-Principal Masterson!" she shrieked, still out of breath. "You gotta come with me, my uncle, he's..." She then ran off, screaming and unable to finish her message. Masterson leapt from his chair and followed Kamella as fast as he could to Kamek's classroom, where a gruesome scene awaited; Kamek was suspended from the ceiling by a noose around his neck, dead.
"My god..." Masterson breathlessly uttered. He then noticed something about the Magikoopa's corpse that looked a bit...odd. Curious, he approached the body and, for no reason anyone else watching could ascertain, reached up and tickled the body's nostrils.
Kamek's body then let loose a loud sneeze. It turned out that he had merely been using his hovering magic to give the impression he had hung himself. "Ah, nuts," he laughed, gradually floating down. "What gave me away?"
"Too much slack on the rope," Masterson explained, "and I could see that you were still breathing."
Throughout the entire day, all the teachers attempted to scare Masterson with whatever means necessary. Jones had tried sneaking up on him, but Masterson had turned around at the last minute. Agatha intended to coax one of her Haunter to scare him, but the Haunter had its own ideas and instead made him laugh. Samus had hidden under his desk and attempted to grab his leg when he least expected it, but Masterson drew his legs up into his chair and peeked underneath to greet her with smile. By the last hour of the day, everything had been tried from screamer video emails to an elaborate rig that would drip fake blood onto his desk throughout the day, the latter of which only succeeded in making him upset for a different reason entirely.
At 3 pm, Navi entered Masterson's office, seeming a bit nervous. "Excuse me, Principal Masterson?" she asked softly.
"Ah, Navi, welcome," Masterson said. "Is there anything you need?"
"I don't want to be a bother," Navi said. "But...can I tell you a story? A student told one of my classes a scary story earlier and I thought you would like to hear it."
"Well, I don't have anything else that I need to work on at the moment, so I guess it's okay," Masterson replied.
Navi then set about telling Masterson a tale of an old man living alone in the woods with his dogs and his encounter with a strange creature of which he had severed and eaten its tail. Navi being a good storyteller and Masterson being a good listener, he hung on every word; he was so attentive that he never noticed a fishing line attached to a model police box on the shelf behind him. "...and then the old man shouted at the creature in fright, 'I ain't got your taily-po!'" Navi exclaimed, almost having finished the story. "The creature inched closer, their faces almost touching... 'Yes...you...DO!'"
At the final word, Navi pulled on the fishing wire, causing the model police box to fall to the floor with a large thump. The loud noise caused Masterson to jump in his seat and yelled loudly. "Oh my god!" he screamed. He turned around to see what had fallen, breathing heavily, and realized upon Navi's burst of laughter that he had been played.
"Yes! Yes!" Navi cried in victory. She flew circles above Masterson's desk, reveling in her win. "I did it! Wooo!"
Having been keeping watch throughout the school and observing the scare attempts, Officer Pliskin entered the office grinning from ear to ear. "Holy crap, the newbie finally broke him!" he exclaimed. "This year might be the longest he's gone, too."
"I was prepared this year!" Masterson shouted, now laughing at the absurdity of it. "Oh my god..."
Navi high-fived Pliskin's finger, still riding high on the waves of her victory. With that, another Halloween at Nintendo High came to an eventful close.