10 Affected
After the meeting all in attendance walked out of the throne room uttering stunned mumbles. They had never seen the young king so stoic, serious and damn near scary. Some of the older men had even went so far as to compare Zuko to his father.
Azula stood and watched them file out, holding her little niece's hand. She stood confused, listening to bits and pieces, but the people would all stop talking when they noticed her and the little girl standing there. She bided her time, she knew one person would not coddle her. He would tell her the truth. "Aang," she said as soon as he passed through the threshold "what's going on? What's all the whispering about?"
"It's Zuko," he answered "he's in there doing his best impression of a breathing stone. He's lit the flames in the pit, and he's insisting that we 'address each other properly." he dropped his head, running a hand across the top "I had hoped that he was feeling better, but now he's trying to bottle everything up and bury it as deep as possible." he looked at the elder princess "Azula, I don't know what else to do."
"Mother says Hakoda is on his way. Hopefully he knows how to help him."
"I hope so." he looked down at the little girl "So what are you two up to?"
"See Daddy." Ursa answered happily.
Aang looked at Azula with concern "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"She usually brightens him up a bit." she answered looking at her niece with a thoughtful smile as the girl was starting to tug at her hand impatiently "Well, we'd better go."
"It's good to see you again Li Min." Hakoda said as he walked up behind the woman who was tending a lily-rose bush in the garden.
Ursa held her head down and blushed a bit "I haven't been called that in years." she turned to him, remembering the reason he was there "I'd greatly appreciate it if you would not call me that anymore. That was another person…another life."
The chief cast his eyes to the side "Yes. Another life." then he looked up at the woman "So, how is Zuko doing today?"
Ursa smiled a bit "Weill he came out of his room, he bathed and it attending a meeting. Aang is going to meet me here when it's over to tell me how it went. I am hopeful that everything is well."
"I'm sorry to say it isn't." Aang said drawing Ursa and Hakoda's attention as he walked into the garden. He went on to tell them about the events of the morning "I'm sorry Lady Ursa, but Zuko is not doing as well as we'd hoped. Hopefully Little Ursa can bring a smile to his face."
The woman held her head down, a pain in her heart from learning that her son was not at all well "I certainly hope so."
Azula rushed through the doors of the throne room and ran right into Katara and Sokka "Azula? What's wrong?" Katara asked, noticing that the princess was visibly unnerved.
"That room, the way he's sitting there. I can't. I love my brother, but I just can't." she mumbled as she fell into Sokka's arms for comfort.
Sokka brushed his hands down her long black hair "And you don't have to. We'll see about him."
Katara studied the way her brother and Azula stood, the way she balled her body comfortably into his, the way he held her close and spoke gently to her. This was obviously not the first time they had been so close. She decided to shrug it off for the moment and go see what had upset Azula so much.
"Azula" Sokka said quietly as he watched his sister disappear through the giant doors "maybe I should walk you to your room."
"She looked up at him teary eyed "yes."
As they walked down the hall she thought about her brother sitting there behind a wall of flame, looking like Ozai. It took her back to the day of Sozin's Comet, the say she'd lost her mind.
She'd fought as hard as she could because losing was not an option. She could never let her father know that she'd lost to Zuko and a Water Tribe peasant. She had to do what she had to do, so she shot him with lightning.
It actually felt good to have him out of the way. Then it was the girl's turn. Azula fought as hard as she could, but Katara got the better of her. There, bound and defeated she thought about Ozai. I he had burned Zuko for talking back what would he do to her for utter defeat. Her already broken mind couldn't handle the thought, so it let go.
Katara stood in the throne room in shock. Zuko sat there stone-faced as Ursa sat beside him playing. A veil of flam licked in front of them "Good morning Zuko." she said, trying her best to hide her worry.
"Good morning Master Katara." he said "I see you have not spoken to your husband yet." he glanced quickly at his daughter, then back to Katara "I feel it's best if we all address each other properly from here on."
Katara bit her tongue "If that's what you think is best Firelord Zuko." she said calmly with a small bow "Princess Azula seemed upset. I thought that, perhaps, something was wrong."
"As you can see my daughter and I are fine. My sister said she wasn't feeling well. Perhaps she is coming down with something. I'd be grateful is you wound check on her. Heal her if it is needed."
The water bender fought hard not to shoot Zuko a nasty look "Yes. Will there be anything else?"
"No. That will do."
"Azula?" Sokka said quietly from where he sat beside Azula on her bed "Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head for a moment before she said "I can't" in a weak whisper."
"You don't have to." he said as he pulled her closer to him.
"Hello Fire Lord Zuko" Hakoda said with a small bow.
"Chief Hakoda. I was not aware that you were in the Fire Nation." Zuko asked as he took a sip of the tea a young servant brought him. He frowned and looked at the girl "Who made this?" he demanded.
"I, I did sire." the young woman stuttered.
Zuko threw the cup into the pit in front of it causing the young woman and Ursa to jump at the sound of the shattering porcelain "If I wanted bad tea I would of made it myself. Go have my uncle teach you how to make a proper pot of tea. And for your sake I hope the next one is correct."
"Yes Fire Lord." the girl said as she hurried out of the room.
"I'm sorry you had to witness that Hakoda." he said. "What brings you here today?"
Hakoda watched Ursa timidly approach her father who wrapped his arm around her without diverting his gaze "Well, your mother thought it would be a good thing if we talked. She feels that since we both," he glanced at the little girl for a second, then back at Zuko "have gone through the same situation that it would be a good thing if we talked."
"Well, I'm sorry my mother had you come all this way for nothing. I have nothing to talk about."
"I thought I didn't need help when I lost my Kya. I thought I could handle it by myself, but I was so wrong." the older man said as he held his head down. "I took me so long to get back into my right mind"
Zuko twisted his head to the side "So am I to understand that my mother thinks that I am not in my right mind?"
"She said nothing of the sort, just that you were having a hard time and you needed to talk to someone who's been through something similar."
The flames around Zuko flickered brighter, rose higher , but he kept his monotone "I admit that this year has been less than ideal, but, as you can see I am fine. Now I will ask you to leave."
Knowing that tone all to well and knowing he had to pick his battles he decided that this was not the time to push the issue. He said "As you wish. I'll be around for a couple of days if you change your mind." and he turned to leave.
"Don't worry, I won't."
Azula gathered her strength and went back to talk to her brother. It was horrible for her to see him in that state, but she had to try and talk to her. "Zuko," she said as she approached him "Why won't you talk to Hakoda?"
"I do not need to talk to him."
"Yes," she said, an obvious tremble in her voice "you do."
"So mother is not alone, you also think I'm not in my right mind."
A tear finally dropped from her eye "You aren't Zuko. You need help, more than we can provide for you." she held her head down and spoke in a whisper "I don't want you to end up where I was."
"I won't." he said in a low growl "I am stronger than that."
The tears flow freely now "You know, I almost didn't come back here, you look like him. You always have, but now it's more than just a physical resemblance. I can't watch you turn into that." she looked at her niece, still huddled under Zuko's arm "I can't watch you turn her into what I used to be."
"That will not happen."
"Oh really!" she snapped, her fist clenched "Look at her, she's afraid."
"That's ridiculous. Ursa knows she has no reason to fear me."
"Is it? Is it ridiculous Zuko? She's afraid."
"Then why does she hold on to me."
"Because she loves you and she wants to make you happy. She'll do whatever she needs to do to make you happy, even if it means stuffing down fear until she becomes a careless, unfeeling monster. I can't stay here and watch her grow up to be that." she looked at the little girl and spoke softly "I'm sorry baby. Auntie loves you, but I have to leave." she said as she blew a kiss to the little girl and turned to leave.
"Azula, where are you going?" Zuko asked, still stone faced.
"I'm going back to the Abbey." she said as she walked.
"When will you be back?"
She turned as she opened the door. With tears washing over her face and pain in her eyes she said "I'm won't. I can't be here and keep my sanity." She hung her head and left her brother sitting in a stunned silence.