Rating: M
A/N: -updating faster- makes me happy~
Enjoy!
Bitter
Chapter 10
--
As soon as Roxas walked into the hospital he ran into his brother who hugged him, refusing to let go.
"You idiot!"He yelled. He was crying hard. Roxas nodded numbly, returning the embrace.
"Yeah… I'm an idiot. A very lucky idiot," he whispered, the reality of how badly things could have gone crashing down on him once again as he allowed Cloud just to hold him, each crying while being embraced by the other.
--
Weeks passed. Axel's condition didn't improve and the blond, later joined by the red-head's mother, refused to leave his side.
Roxas learned that Axel's mother's name was Aerith. She was a pretty woman, having long curly brown hair and vivid green eyes. He liked her a lot. She, likewise, liked Roxas very much and approved of him fully. She seemed to enjoy Cloud's company as well.
Roxas also learned that Axel's father, Marluxia couldn't come, no matter how badly he wanted to. He was away on a business venture and couldn't possibly get home for weeks longer.
--
One day when he was alone with Axel because Aerith and Cloud had gone to get them all lunch, Roxas gripped the red-head's hand, crying silently. "Please," he begged, "Wake up. I miss you… I… I n-need you," crying harder. "You're all I need…"
The red-head didn't move, breath fogging on his mask the same way, heart beating at the same pace. There wasn't any indication whatsoever that the blond had been heard. Roxas sobbed, crawling into bed with the red-head, lying next to him. He didn't care of the nurses would yell at him for it later, he needed to be beside Axel.
Aerith and Cloud returned twenty minutes later, pausing when they saw Roxas lying next to Axel. The blond had cried himself to sleep.
The two shared a knowing look then decided to let Roxas sleep.
--
Roxas opened his eyes, realizing he'd fallen asleep when he saw how dark it was outside. He raised himself, closing his eyes as he did and wishing with all his might he'd see beautiful emerald when he opened them.
The blond's heart began to pound and he, after a few agonizingly slow seconds opened his eyes. They welled up with tears when he saw Axel still laying there the way he had been for weeks.
He lay back down, resting his head against the red-head's chest, gripping his hand and beginning to cry. The blond cried harder, squeezing tighter, as his fear that the red-head would never wake up began to eat at him with renewed vigor.
He was so preoccupied that he almost missed hearing a soft groan and feeling the sensation of the red-head weakly squeezing back.
Roxas stared at his lover in disbelief. Axel was furrowing his eyebrows and then, after a moment, those magnificent green eyes fluttered open.
"R-Rox," he managed.
"A-Axel!" the blond cried out, gripping him more tightly. Axel whispered his name and their eyes locked.
"T-that hurts." Roxas blinked, before fresh tears spilled down his cheeks and he let the red-head's hand go, sitting up, taking off the oxygen mask and grasping either side of his face. Axel blinked as he cried harder.
"You… You're really awake." The red-head halfway smirked.
"Is that a bad thing?" Roxas scoffed.
"Don't be a jerk! It's been weeks! I was so scared that I'd lost you…" He closed his eyes when the red-head weakly lifted his hands before likewise gripping his face.
"I'm sorry," he whispered against Roxas' quivering lips, realizing where he was and what had happened, "Especially for leaving you. Can you forgive me?" Roxas nodded and the red-head captured those trembling lips, not pulling back until he'd felt Roxas relax. "You have enough to worry about with Luxord on the loose."
Roxas glanced away, looking at anything but the red-head. "Actually…" Axel frowned.
"What did you do?"
"I uhm… I helped the police catch him." Axel's grip tightened.
"You idiot! He could have killed you!" he yelled, emeralds blazing, "He could have- oh God," he said, "Did he rape you?" he whispered. Roxas shook his head. A long silence ensued.
"Despite what you're probably thinking, I'm not stupid," Roxas whispered. Axel closed his eyes, sighing heavily.
"Why did you do it?"
"Because he hurt you! I didn't know if you were ever going to wake up again, Axel!" Roxas yelled back, angry tears running down his cheeks. Wide emeralds locked with sapphire. "And if you did wake up, it was very likely you'd be paralyzed!" The red-head pulled Roxas close, hugging him tightly.
"Shh, I'm alright, see?" Roxas cried harder, close to hysterical. "It'll be okay," he repeated over and over. "Did he hurt you?" he asked softly.
"He mostly just touched me," Roxas murmured into the red-head's chest. Axel gripped the blond protectively.
"He'd better be getting the death sentence or I'm going to fucking dismember him."
"Leon assured me that he will."
"Good," the red-head whispered, "Now you can move on and finally be happy." Roxas bit his lower lip, terrified of telling the red-head about his disease.
"Yeah," he whispered back, just before the door reopened. Roxas sat up seeing that Axel's mother was approaching them.
"Roxas honey are you hung- Axel!" She yelled, going to her son and hugging him. "I was so scared! Are you okay baby?!" The red-head returned her embrace.
"Yeah. I'll be okay, mom. I'm ready to go home any time." he replied.
"That's for the doctor to decide, not you!" She scolded, crying. He smiled softly.
"I'm glad that you're okay too," he whispered. "I was so scared when I got that call…"
Cloud entered the room upon hearing the commotion and Roxas gripped Axel's hand.
"I'm going to go eat something…" he said to Axel, "So that you two have a moment." Axel looked like he was about to protest so he smiled. "I'll come back later, promise," kissing his cheek before slipping away.
--
Cloud took Roxas to a restaurant to get him away from the hospital for the first time in weeks. He smiled as Roxas eagerly ate his food.
"I'm glad Axel woke up. It's nice- seeing you happy." Roxas paused, staring at his food for a long moment, appetite suddenly decreased.
"Do you suppose it'll last? The happiness?" Cloud blinked.
"Of course it will. He loves you, Roxas." Roxas stared up at his brother.
"I don't doubt Axel's feelings. I doubt me being able to be happy for very long. What if I die soon?"
"Then you'll die happy, beside the person you love. You did tell him, didn't you?" Roxas closed his eyes, shaking his head.
"I'm still scared. Do I even deserve to be happy?"
Cloud gripped his hand, sighing softly. "Of course you do honey! Look... I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I suggest you tell him sooner rather than later." Roxas nodded, poking at his food.
"I know."
"Just... Trust Axel." Roxas nodded again, taking a bite of food so that Cloud wouldn't worry.
--
The next day, Axel began physical therapy. Amazingly, he didn't seem to have any impairments and after about a week, he was released from the hospital. Ironically, it was on the same day that Luxord was to be executed by lethal injection.
Axel went with Roxas at the blond's request and Leon took the two, as well as Cloud, to the institution where Luxord was being held. They were seated in the room next to Luxord's, separated by a glass window.
"Don't worry," Leon assured, "You can see him but he can't see you." They'd arrived fifteen minutes early.
Roxas stared at the blond who was strapped down, heart pounding. He had been calling out his name repeatedly. Axel was shaking from anger at the sight. As soon as the small blond sat down, Luxord looked directly at him. Roxas stared harder. The older blond was actually crying.
"What does he want?" Roxas asked.
"We're not sure…" Leon replied. "He's been like this for days. Maybe he senses the end approaching." Roxas nodded slowly, heart heavy when he saw how pathetic the other blond looked, crying like that, not even able to wipe away his own tears. He winced, Luxord continued, voice sounding strained.
"Can I… Can I speak to him?"
"Roxas are you serious?!" Axel whispered in disbelief. Cloud crossed his arms.
"I agree with Axel for once. What are you thinking?!" Roxas closed his eyes.
"I need to know what he wants or it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life," the blond replied. "Please, Leon," he whispered, reopening his eyes and standing. The officer hesitated.
"Alright. But only if you promise to signal if he threatens you." Roxas nodded and, despite the other two's protests followed the officer.
--
The door to his room opened and Luxord tensed. He had no doubt he was about to die- they'd attached an IV to his arm, after all. His eyes widened when he saw the person who he'd been calling for enter the room.
Roxas stopped a few feet away from his uncle, pity in his pretty blue eyes. "What else do you want from me?" he asked, crossing his arms. The older blond closed his eyes for a long moment, feeling guilt from the statement. "If it's that unimportant, I'm leaving," he said.
"Roxas wait!" Luxord called. The blond hesitated. He sounded… pitiful. "I know that I'm asking a lot but… will you come closer?"
"I'll listen from here." Luxord closed his eyes again for a long moment.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"W-what?" Roxas asked, almost taking a step forward. Almost.
"I'll tell you why I did the things to you that I did if you come closer." Roxas hesitated.
"Why do I have to come closer?" he asked, burning with curiosity.
"Because I only want you to hear. Please." Roxas hesitantly took a few steps closer, stopping at Luxord's bedside.
"If you try anything, Axel will dismember you," he whispered.
"It's not like I can move," Luxord replied. "Besides, you already proved that you can take care of yourself." Roxas nodded.
"Alright. Tell me." Shades of blue locked. Roxas' heart was pounding.
"All those years ago, I did love you." Roxas' eyes widened before he continued.
"Shortly after I moved here, I saw you for the first time when I started to babysit you for my sister. That's when I fell in love with you. After I…" he said, closing his eyes, "After I lost control and raped you… I became obsessed with you." Roxas stared at the shaking man. "I didn't think we could ever be together any other way, so I treated you like a possession... instead of a person. And then… when you were taken away from me, I snapped, becoming desperate to get to you again."
"I noticed," Roxas replied. Those icy eyes opened and locked with Roxas' cerulean.
"I know that I don't deserve it but could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"
Roxas' eyes welled up with tears.
"No, you don't deserve it," he whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Do you have any idea of how fucked up I am because of you? I'm depressed, have close to no friends, had to go to therapists and you gave me HIV," he said lowly, crying harder. Luxord's eyes widened at the revelation.
"I… I didn't even realize…"
"No, obviously you didn't," Roxas interrupted before he could finish, wiping his eyes. "I do however think that you're sincere in your want for forgiveness. And so before I die, I'll try to fulfill your last wish." Luxord shook his head, staring at the ceiling.
"No, that's not my final wish."
"What else could you possibly require?" Roxas asked, staring at the blond.
"I… I'm going to die today, aren't I?" Roxas nodded. "Will you stay with me until then? I know it's selfish but I don't want to die alone." The smaller boy hesitated, filled with mixed emotions as the door reopened.
"Okay," he whispered. Luxord smiled.
"You're a good person… Roxas." He winced, closing his eyes as paramedics began to prepare the shot that would end his life, shaking. Roxas instinctively gripped his hand, tears streaming down his face. Luxord relaxed as their eyes locked one last time, distracted by the blond. "It's alright, you don't have to cry for me, honey. I deserve this." He smiled softly after a moment. "I'm glad your red-head survived. You deserve happiness…" Roxas cried harder as those icy eyes slowly slid shut and the hand he was holding went limp. He couldn't help but stand there for moments longer.
The blond gasped when hands gripped his shoulders, staring up into vivid green eyes.
"Are you alright?" Axel asked softly, brushing away the blond's tears as Roxas nodded slowly, "…What did he want?" Roxas hugged the red-head tightly, murmuring his response into the other's chest.
"Forgiveness."
--
-TBC-
A/N: Did I surprise anyone? O:
Let me know if you liked it? If you didn't like it? I shall appreciate it greatly :]
( esp since ffn hates me and decided to make me try to update this for an hour (: )
( that's a sarcastic smile )