Ok! Don't expect another chapter that long, I don't think I could make another one! Thanks again to Sailor Triforce for your ideas, and thanks to Lady Valkyrie for all of the ideas that you gave me. Now, on with Chapter 10!
Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda; I am using several characters from BMValkyrie's The Insane Trio Comes to Hyrule. These include: Jack, the elf worshipper, Michelle, the pyro, Lauren, the psycho, and Katie, Michelle and Lauren put together and I am only writing this to take up space to make my chapter long because I don't have many ideas because people don't give me any and because I am in the middle of a writers block, so don't be mad if this chapter sucks!
Ok, last chapter was very long, and Link and Navi got the Zora Sapphire (the blue rock thingy) and had fried fish^_^! Now, they are going to, well, I'm not going to give it away, read it!
Link: Ok, lets get rid of these things now, please?
Navi: Eugh, yes, lets, I can't wait to get rid of these!
L&N go up to the drawbridge and it is closed
Link: What the h*** is this c***? I go through all this f****** trouble, and the g** d***** princess has locked the POS drawbridge!
Navi: I am sensing a wave of hostile feelings coming from your aura. I believe that you should try to calm down a little, and then you will have good juju.
A/N: Only my friends and I will understand what I mean by juju, so for now, pretend that I said something funny and laugh, thanks^_^!
Link: Ok, lets just calm down, and wait for the stupid gates to open.
Suddenly, the drawbridge begins to open.
Navi: See, good juju fixes everything!
Link: Yeah, whatever. Hey! There's a horse coming out!
Zelda and Impa come galloping out
Impa: Like, oh my gosh! It's Link! Hi Link! Like, you wouldn't believe the day that I have had! It was a total mess from the beginning! First, I broke a nail! Then I
Zelda: Oh shut-up will you! Listen Link, that freak Ganondorf found out about my plot to kill him, so he went running to my dad, now he wants to ground me! Now, I'm running away, and framing you for my kidnapping! So, if you want me to come out and tell the truth, then you have to kill him! Here, you'll need this ocarina to get to the sword. Good luck, and I'd watch out for the guards if I were you!
Zelda throws the Ocarina of Time at Link, and it hits him in the face, Link then passes out. Several hours later, Link wakes up and starts to moan about Princess Zelda.
Link: the stupid frickin wh*** just up and dumps this s*** on me! I can't believe her! I'm going to get that sword, oh yes, but not to hurt Ganondorf, oh no, but to kill ZELDA!!! AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!
Navi: I am sensing more negative juju emanating from your aura, you must-
Link: Oh stuff it Navi! Lets just go and get the sword!
L&N make it to the Temple of Time
Link: Oh my god! Those guards were easy to kill!
Navi: Hehe, they saw my devil impression and fled! ^_^
Link: Yes, good times, good times.
Navi: So, what are we supposed to do? Oh, wait, I see a Triforce symbol! I'm afraid to ask, but what do you think that means Link?
Link: Oh! Wait! I know this one! It means, it means, ummmmm, it means, I should play, ummm, the, ummm, Song of Storms!
Navi falls down Anime-style, and then proceeds to majorly disfigure Link with the mallet.
Navi: Ahhhhh, much better!
Link: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that hurts.
Navi: Stop your whining and play the Royal Lullaby
Link: Ok
Link plays the Lullaby, and the door disappears.
Link: Lets get this over with!
Suddenly, Ganondorf comes running out of the shadows
G-dorf: Oh Linky! Wait there for a thecond you thilly man you!
Link: Oh no! What is he doing here!
G-dorf: Oh Link your thuch a kidder!
Link: Just go away!
G-dorf: Well! I never! I know when I not wanted! I'll just go now!
Link: No! Not that way! That's the wrong room!
G-dorf: What? You thilly! I've been here longer than you have; tho jutht be quiet!
G-dorf walks into the room with the Master Sword
Link: You dumb ass! AUUGGGGGHHHHH!
Navi: Well! What are you waiting for? Go and get him!
Link run into the room with G-dorf and sees the Master Sword
Link: OOOOHHHHH!!!!! Big shiny sword thingy!!!!
Link grabs the Master sword and the blue wall surrounds L&N
Navi: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm trapped, I'm trapped! HELP ME!
L&N fall into a deep sleep for 7 years. They wake up feeling refreshed and ready to start a new day! But unfortunately, there is a fat man blocking their way.
Link: WTF! Who the hell are you? Hey! My voice is deeper, and I'm taller, and I'm older and, :: Looks in pants:: YES!
Raru: Hello, I am Raru, the Sage of light. I was feeling really depressed because I have no friends, so I took it out on the first person I saw, which happened to be you! You have been asleep for 7 years and Ganondorf has taken over due to the unfortunate kidnapping of the princess, you know we never found the man who did it!
Link: ::Changing the subject:: Yes well, what has Ganondorf done to Hyrule? Has he terribly scarred the land? Or has he built up a strong army of dark forces bent on destroying the world and then taking all of the spoils for himself then stomping on the ashes of the world!
Raru: Well, not exactly. Actually, Hyrule has never been more prosperous, everyone is happy, that is everyone except for us sages. You see, G-dorf thought that we were too powerful and that we couldn't rule anymore, so he locked us all up, so now you have to go and unlock all of the temples!
Link: And why should I do this for you?
Raru: Because, um, because I will give you a big bag of gold if you do!
Link: Oh, ok, that's fine by me! Hey, wait a second, why are my ears pierced? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I've been turned into a girl!!!!!!! Help me!!!!!!!! I don't want to be a girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Raru: Yeah, well, you see, 7 years is a very long time you see. I had to do something to keep myself entertained!
Link: Why you little! Come here you fat ass! I'll slice you into tuna fish!
Fortunately for Raru, he gave Link his talisman and it hits Link on the head, successfully knocking him out…again! Raru then sends Link and Navi back to the real world.
Link: GRRRRRRRRR! Why I auta-
But what Link should have done will never be revealed, for at that moment, Jack, the Elf Worshipper suddenly runs into the room! A/N: HEHE, get ready for some messed up randomness!
Jack: Elf God! You're awake! I have been awaiting your foretold arrival and now the promised Elf God has come! Grace me with your words of wisdom, my Lord!
Link: WTF?????
Jack: OH! Such pure words of wisdom! In all of my time-
Suddenly, Lauren pops out and lands on Jack
Lauren: Oh, hello there, I'm Lauren! ^_^
Then, Lauren gets off of Jack and Michelle and Katie pop in and land on top of Jack
Jack: owwwwweeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
Kate: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! A new Link!
Michelle: Can I light you in fire?
Link: Who are all of you people?
Jack, Lauren, Michelle, and Katie: YOU CAN TALK?
Link: Of course I can talk, now who are all of you people?
Lauren: *Spotting the master sword* OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! A big shiny thingy! MINE!!!!!!!!
Lauren takes the master sword and runs around.
Link: Hey! That's mine! I want it back! Give it to me! Hey! What are you doing?
Michelle: Must…cause…. mass…destruction!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I blow this place up?
Link: No you can't! And who are you?
Katie: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! The Devil is in you!!!!!!!! Must destroy devil!!!!!!!!
Jack: OH Elf God, please regale me with your words of wisdom again!
Link: ANIME FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Suddenly, a large, bubbling pool of black guck appears in the middle of the floor, and I rise out of that.
Anime Freak: Hey, what are you guys doing here? Get out!!!
Katie: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Here comes the Devil Himself! I must cleanse you!
Anime Freak: Hey BMValkyrie! Get down here and take these people away!
BMValkyrie suddenly teleports in
BMValkyrie: Oh, hi! Thought I would screw with your fic! ^_^
Anime Freak: WHAT!?!? Just take them away! Their ruining everything!
I begin to cry about the pointlessness of this fic, BMValkyrie pities me, waves her hand, and all four of the characters that didn't belong go poof and disappear.
Anime Freak: Thanks ^^!
BMValkyrie: Anytime ^_^!
BMValkyrie teleports out with a faint poof.
Link: What the hell was that?
Anime Freak: I don't know, but I don't think we have seen the last of them!
Link: Well, thanks, now lets keep going!
Anime Freak: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
The black boiling goop reappears and I sink slowly into the pit.
Link: Navi? Where are you?
Navi: Huh? What happened? I was sleeping, sorry.
Link: You don't want to know!
Navi: Whoa! Your older! And your ears are pierced! How did your ears gey pierced?
Link: Yet again, you don't want to know!
Navi: Ok, so now what?
Link: We go and unlock some temples.
Navi: Why?
Link: A big bag of gold!
Navi: YAY! Lets go!
Ok, that was really weird, I am sorry, but it is right now 12:30 A.M.! What do you expect from me? Oh well, I would like to thank BMValkyrie for letting me use her characters, and for Sailor Triforce for the Ear idea, and I still need suggestions, so, please help! Thanks!