September 16, 1922:

Matthew left his lantern in my room, so I have light. It's better than being in complete darkness, but I still wish I had a window. The B Ward is even more monotonous than the A Ward. I miss the sunlight. Matthew's promised to come see me whenever he can, but the rest of the time I'm alone. Completely alone, with just me and my thoughts.

I had a dream—maybe vision?—last night: Jasper, wandering alone through the woods, looking lost and confused and lonely. What does it mean? Was it a vision, or just a dream? With everything that's happened with George, I'd almost forgotten about my other family. Why am I suddenly not with them anymore? Why has my future changed? This has never happened before. Has something happened to Jasper? I wish my life came with directions.

September 17, 1922:

I am determined to write something every day now, because there is absolutely nothing else to do. The solitude is threatening to drive me mad. I'm afraid it may already be too late. For some reason, whether from the constant electric shocks or the simple fact that I haven't seen them in months, I can't remember my family at all. Not even Cynthia. Looking back on my earlier entries, I feel that this should hurt me more than it does. But it's hard to feel pain for forgetting someone you don't remember.

September 18, 1922:

Matthew came to visit me again today. He had a very serious look on his face. "Alice, I beg you to reconsider my offer," he pleaded. "James is still looking for you. I can protect you for now, but if something were to happen to me…" I suddenly recalled my vision where Matthew and James were fighting to the death, and shivered. I don't want to die.

But if Matthew succeeds, what will happen then? An eternity of loneliness and solitude, where I risk bringing death to everyone I meet? "I have nothing left to live for," I told him quietly. "I don't even remember my family, not that they'd want me if I did. My only friend is dead, and I'll never even meet Jasper." A tear escaped down my cheek.

I realized that I'd never told Matthew about my other family. But before I could explain, Matthew interrupted, "When did your vision change?" He seemed startled. I stared back at him, confused. How did he know? "I read your diary after they brought you up here," he confessed. "From what I've read, I believe that Jasper is like me. They all are."

"No!" I gasped. Not Jasper. Not the rest of my perfect family. They couldn't be like Matthew. He's a monster, a demon, and demons can't love.

Can they?

September 19, 1922:

I tried experimenting with my abilities. Last night, I was thinking about Matthew's words, and wondering what would happen if I agreed to let him turn me into a demon. When I fell asleep, I had another dream-vision with Jasper. This time, we were together in the woods. We were holding hands, and there was a sense of peace and happiness surrounding us. For the first time, I got a look at myself with him. My skin has the same pallor as his, and my hair is short and spiky. If this change is going to come, it's going to be soon.

For some reason, my eyes in the vision were different, too. They're blue right now, but when I saw myself, they were brown. Maybe Matthew will know the reason.

Is it possible that this change is how I get to meet Jasper? If he really is a demon like Matthew, it would probably be safer for him to be around me if I was a demon too. I hope Matthew comes back today or tomorrow. I have more questions for him.

September 20, 1922:

I've been thinking constantly about Matthew's offer, going back and forth in my mind. I don't want to die, but I don't want to become a demon, but I want to meet Jasper, but how sure am I really that things will happen the way I've seen them? Do I want to live forever if that life is cursed? But how can it be a curse if Jasper and I are so happy?

I tried to use my visions to decide, and see how things will turn out. Now I can't see anything at all, which terrifies me. Why have I suddenly lost my gift? And yet, I haven't lost it completely. I know it's going to rain tomorrow, even though I haven't been able to look outside for weeks now.

September 21, 1922:

Matthew came to see me today. Before he could say anything, I asked him, "What's the weather today?" He looked confused, and I explained, "I feel so alone here. I don't know anything about the outside world at all. And I miss the sunshine."

He looked guilty, and answered, "You're not missing much today. There's a thunderstorm going on outside. And I'm sorry you're locked away in here, Alice. I'm only doing this to protect you from James. Have you thought any more about my offer?" The question had a strange urgency to it.

"Constantly," I told him. I described my latest vision to him, and asked him about my eyes.

"You're sure they were brown?" he asked. I nodded, and he shook his head. "That's not possible. Your eyes will be different after the change—that's something that always happens to our kind—but they'll never be brown. They're black when we're thirsty, and red when…we're not." I understood his meaning, and suppressed a shudder. "Which is why I always wear the dark glasses," he added. I'd figured as much.

"Alice, I can only hold James off for so long," he confessed after a moment. "If I don't change you, he will kill you." He reached over and put his hand on my shoulder. His hand was as cold as ice, and I flinched away. "What have you decided?"

"I haven't," I admitted softly. "I've tried looking into the future to see what I decide, but it won't work. I can't see anything."

Matthew looked worried. "That might mean you have no future…" When he saw the look of panic on my face, he continued, "or that you must decide before you can see the outcome." Suddenly, he stood up. "There's a problem downstairs. I need to go now, but I'll be back as soon as I can."

By "problem," I hope he doesn't really mean "James." And I suppose it's up to me to decide my own future.

So what do I decide?

A/N: Wow, over a thousand hits on my story! And nearly 50 reviews! I feel loved. I haven't decided completely yet, but the story will probably wrap up in another 2 or 3 chapters.