A/N: I do Not own Skip Beat or the inspired song.
This is inspired by Love Remains the Same by Gavin Rossdale, requested by xxxLoveisintheairxxx.
For some strange reason, I'm going through a dark phase in my writing. I think it has something to do with the story I'm co-writing. I love the new material in the manga with Ren's dark thoughts. I simply love writing about Ren. He is the greatest of characters. And he is soooo much fun to play with.
Rated T for cursing. I hope you enjoy reading this.
It was dark out, the sun finally setting on this horrible day. Ren walked down the streets. No, Cain walked down the streets… completely alone. Ren did it. He sent Cain's little sister away, and Cain hated him for it. Ren actually hated himself for it as well. But… but she had to go. If it wasn't for her, none of that night would have ever happened.
He would have took Cain off, went home in his own bed and fell asleep just like every other time he was Cain Heel. Instead he was forced to a hotel with her and teased mercilessly. Ah but seeing her in that outfit had been a mixed blessing, one that he has burned into his mind for the rest of his lonely life.
But then to help his sanity, they go out and got into that frightful mess. He lost control and he knew it wasn't her fault. The moment he saw her hit the floor, everything faded to black then red. The woman he loved was getting hurt and instinct took over. Would any true man blame him for what he did?
I should have had better control. Scaring them only urged them to attack all at once. Perhaps if I pushed them around a little, it wouldn't have gotten so far so fast.
Ren sighed. He was still dressed as Cain, needing the solitude that the character allowed. He told her to leave. As he finished getting dressed and she was about to transform, he told her not to. Kyoko looked up at him with a look that tore him up inside.
Kyoko bowed politely to him and gave him a fake smile.
So that's what it feels like… Ren now understood why she saw through his angry smiles. However, instead of hiding anger or frustration like he did, she hid pain. He saw right through it. Pain, fear, misunderstanding and disappointment all bleed through that little smile of hers.
Ren found himself in a run-down side of town. It was so bad that it wasn't even a bad neighborhood anymore, more of a ghost neighborhood. There were a storage rental place, some shabby apartment buildings, an almost closed down mini mart and then after some abandoned store fronts, a small bar.
He walked in and sat down at the end of the bar. It had maybe four people in it, including himself. He pulled out several large notes and laid them on the bar.
"Whiskey and Coke," he commanded roughly.
The barkeep took the money and made his drink. Ren wanted to get drunk and forget this day as fast as he could. Most people would think that the coke would weaken the alcohol, but he knew for a fact that the carbonation from the soda would get him drunk faster.
It probably would have been better if he simply went home. Yet for some reason, he wanted to be somewhere she couldn't find him. As soon as she left and he started his day, he saw her everywhere. Flashes of her pink suit crept out from the corner of his eye. He heard her sweet voice talking or laughing around him. He tried to find her each time, drawn to her like a moth to the flame. He would see or hear her and everything around him seemed to disappear.
Ren was tried, tired of not caring for her, of seeing her and not being able to touch her. Kyoko maked her whole Sho situation seem like the world ended that there was nothing left after him. Such are the thoughts of the teenager she was. He understood those feelings, the feeling that a particular moment in your life made or broke you.
He felt the heavy weight of his shackle as he downed his drink. For some, though, that moment was all they had left. That one singular moment in their life became their last and the one who finalized it get to live on. See. The world continues for some and for those that live. Ren smiled.
Then laughed. He laughed loudly into the almost empty bar and what few patrons inside cautiously eyeballed the maniacal laughing man. Here he was unable to forgive and forget his past and he was complaining about how she shouldered hers. He could add hypocrite onto the list of awful things he was.
The barkeep came over and took his empty glass away. Ren noticed him not filling up another glass and got angry. He slapped his hand down loudly and glared at the older overweight man.
"More," he said with an eerie tone. The man did as he demanded but didn't seem happy about it. He was wary of the new comer dressed in ragged leathers and was ready to point his shot gun at him if things got risky, but he had money and the only thing about him was that he was creepy, nothing to throw a paying man out of the bar for.
Ren sighed and took another mouthful of his drink. He stared into the drink and memories came into view. Kyoko's sweet face, her gentle caring personality, her fiery passion and stubborn determination all surfaced from his mind. He started to relax. He was too far from drunk and still not buzzed but as he relaxed, his will slipping away, he only thought of her.
He thought of the first time he met her, and she burst out of the trees and thought him a fairy. He smiled to himself, he thought her an angel, so full of life and trust. He wanted nothing more than to make her smile and laugh with that gleeful little face of hers. He hated her tears and how she had to suffer at that age.
Thinking about it, he probably fell in love with her the moment she stepped into their little secret place. He never told his family where he went, he wanted it, and her, all to himself.
Ren frowned. "Corn, don't go." She was shivering, trying not to cry but failing miserably. She had changed so much, that same face of pain, fear and disappointment on her face as he fired her still very much the same, yet she didn't cry. She smiled. She hid her pain, as she has learned to do over the years.
How many years of pain and sorrow were "placed" into that little stone he gave her? How many tears has she kept inside of her because of her mother or of Fuwa… or himself? She has treasured that little stone, but was that a good thing? She has only learned to swallow her emotions just as much as he has learned to swallow his anger, letting it simmer and cure over time until…what? What will happen to him? To her?
He finished off his second drink and the barkeep didn't hesitate to give him his third. He let the warm liquid burn down his throat, making him lose himself. Kyoko bowed down and smiled up at him in his mind. He smiled. Things have changed but only for the better for her. She was free to be her own person, free from under Fuwa's thumb, her mother's hatred and able to do what she wanted for herself.
While he… he… he hid, focusing on the only thing that was worth living, his acting. Ren gave everything to it till he thought there was nothing left of him to give. Then she appeared and he found more. She didn't even know it, but she awakened things inside of him that were dead, and he felt like he was bursting at the seams when she was near.
He couldn't take it anymore, being with her alone, at night, right next to her quiet sleeping beautiful form. It had to stop. His body and mind couldn't handle it anymore, all this masquerading. He swallowed his third drink, and the forth came.
His eyes started to feel heavy; his mind was starting to get fuzzy. Perhaps two more, and he could keep his mind blank, his head clear of her…
"CAIN!"
Her voice…. He sneered as he heard her voice through the haze. He quickly drank more than half the new drink.
"Miss, you can't be in here," the barkeep spoke to someone at the other side of the bar.
"I know I'm sorry. I'm just here for him." Again that sweet, heavenly voice. He turned his head towards it and sure enough he saw her.
He must be farther gone than he thought. There she is again, playing tricks on him as she had been doing all day. He returned to his drink. Soon, she will disappear again. The real woman's face will come into view as soon as he stepped closer to her. All day, Kyoko tortured his heart, appearing between the blurred forgettable faces of the people around him. He wasn't going to get tricked again.
"Well then hurry up," the older man said rudely. That was uncalled for. She was probably taking one of his drunkards home, he didn't have to be rude to the lady. Ren quickly finished off his forth drink. There was silence around him. See, she didn't come rushing to him with that look of worried desperation. It wasn't her.
His heart forced him to look towards the girl, stupidly still wishing it was her. His mind saw her and his heart ached to go to her. She was looking at him, scared and concerned. No doubt the woman was probably trying to remember who he looked liked. He turned away, making his hair hide his face. He didn't want to be recognized, not right now.
"Ren…" She whispered very softly to him, as if she was afraid, and he felt her so very close. Damn it, she recognized me. He frowned as his mind tried to think. His only option was to try playing Cain harder. It was rather easy considering how he was feeling at the moment. But didn't she call out Cain first? His mind tried to think, but it was too far gone. He stuck to his orginal plan.
"My name isn't Ren," he said stiffly. This woman had guts, coming to a drunken ruffian.
"Ren, please, let me help you home." He felt her touch his arm, her small hand seemed to have moved past all his leather and clothes and touched his skin. He jerked away from her and glared at the woman. It was still Kyoko. Why wouldn't her image leave his mind?
"Leave Me ALONE!" He yelled at her and forced himself out his chair. He saw her flinch and her eyes were wide with tears. He walked around her and stormed out of the bar. Not a few minutes later, he felt someone following him, quiet little footsteps. He turned and saw her again. He growled angrily and continued walking. She was quietly walking a few yards behind him.
Finally, he stopped and turned back towards her. She was still Kyoko. Not even drinking would drive her from his mind. In fact, it seemed to only make it worse. His every thought and sense told him this was Kyoko, but she couldn't be here. There was no way that his sweet, innocent, loving Kyoko would be here after he hurt her like that.
If his mind failed to recognize the true woman behind his hallucination then he would force her to run. He took two steps to her, her face and body frozen with fear and he grabbed her wrist. She yelped but tried to keep up as he walked into an alley.
"Ren, you're hurting me," she whined and he pushed her roughly against the wall.
"So you recognized me huh? I tried to be nice and simply leave, but no you had to follow me." He gripped her face, the face so much like hers, and forced it up to his.
"What do you want? An autograph? A kiss? A fuck?" He grabbed her thigh with his other hand, feeling her soft flesh give under her tight jeans. She whimpered in protest as his hand cupped her ass.
She felt so good, his mind refused to see anyone but Kyoko. Ren sighed and buried his nose into her hair. She smelled like her too. Even in the dark and disgusting alley, he could only smell her delicious scent.
"Kyoko," he murmured and she tried to push him away. The hand holding her jaw softened and caressed her cheek then slid into her hair.
"Ren, please stop. You're drunk," she pleaded with him, that adorable voice making him smile.
"I know and you, this strange woman, appears in front of me looking like her, speaking and smelling like her. My Kyoko. I can only take so much." He ran his lips around her earlobe feeling her tremble in his hands.
"You even act so innocent. How did you know? I fought so hard to hide it, to ignore it but I can't. How did you know I loved her?" He pressed soft kisses down her neck.
Kyoko was overwhelmed. His hands kept feeling her, making her body warm, his lips were sending small electrical waves through her and his words made her heart hurt. She didn't know what to say, what to do.
"You win," Ren whispered and pulled her in, hugging her tightly against him. He buried his face into her hair and continued whispering, "You win, Kyoko. I love you so much. Ever since we were little and you through I was a fairy, I loved you. You grew up into this beautiful, caring, fiery woman and I grew up to be a monster. Your fairy changed into a demon, and I didn't want to subject you to who I am, to what I became."
He confessed. He confessed to this image of his love, because he was too much of a coward to do so to her face. He felt her move in his arms after what felt like hours. He treasured these few moments, holding her in his arms, even if it wasn't really her. She didn't run and the image didn't change. He smiled down at her and touched her face endearingly. His heart stopped as she smiled up at him and then hugged him back.
"Let's go home, Ren," she spoke into his chest, and he didn't have it in him to say no.
The next morning...
Ren woke up in his own bed with a headache the size of the moon. He blinked into the sun shinning into the windows of his bedroom and tried to get his eyes to focus on his clock. It was 10am. He quickly jumped out of bed and then fell to his knees as the pain forced him to the floor. Where was Yashiro-san? Where was his phone? He looked up at his bed stand and found a tall glass of water and a bottle of aspirin along with a note.
He sat on the floor and took the bottle, quickly opening it and getting four aspirin out. He swallowed them quickly, drinking the entire glass of water. He set the glass down then very gently, very slowly stood up. He walked to his bathroom, relieved himself then splashed some water on his face. He was still wearing his black jeans but was shirtless and barefoot. When did he get home? Flashes of him with a woman came to mind, and he wanted to shoot himself. He couldn't remember if he slept with her, or if he came home alone.
No, it was obvious that he wasn't alone. He surely didn't put the glass of water and aspirin on his bed stand. He remembered the note. He walked back into the bedroom and found that his bed looked very slept in. The whole bed was messy. He strained to hear something from his apartment, but he couldn't hear anything or anyone stirring about.
He sat on the bed and picked up the note.
Yashiro-san came by. He is canceling all your jobs for the day explaining that you are sick. Please, rest for the day.
No signature but she knew who his manager was. If Yashiro called and heard a strange woman's voice surely he would have done something about it, right? Perhaps he, himself, told Yashiro he wasn't able to come in, though he doesn't remember doing that.
Ren sighed. He had to get her out. Shit, she knew where he lived now. Did he even use a condom? He had his pants on so maybe nothing happened. He shook his head, no even if nothing happened she would claim it did. Perhaps he could quietly pay her off. No, being associated in a one night stand with Tsuruga Ren would be more beneficial to an attention seeking whore than money.
He changed as quickly as he could. He didn't want her to find him half dressed. He took a deep breath and stepped out into his hallway. She wasn't there but she had to have heard him by now. Perhaps she was really gone. He could only hope.
As he came into the living room, he froze in mid step. Kyoko sat at his table with a script in her hand, looking fresh and happy. She turned and beamed a smile up at him.
"Good Morning, Tsuruga-san!" He flinched at her voice and she blushed.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she whispered very softly. She stood up and padded over to him. He was stunned. What was she doing here? He felt her take his hand and slowly pull him over to the couch.
"Sit down and I'll get you another glass of water," she whispered again with a sweet smile. He did what she asked since his mind wouldn't get past… Wha?
He watched her walk into his kitchen in a sweet pale blue sundress. She stretched her delicate frame up for a glass and quickly filled it up. She returned, her smile never leaving her face and handed it to him.
"Did you take the aspirin?" She asked softly and he nodded.
"Good. Then I gather you read my note too. Drink up and I'll make you something to eat." She turned towards the kitchen when he stopped her, taking a hold of her wrist.
"Why are you here?" He asked dumbfounded.
"You asked me to stay, so I stayed." She smiled down gently at him. Ren's eyes widened in fear. What did he do? When did she appear last night?
"Did I… do anything… to you, last night?" He asked worried and scared. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he assaulted her or forced her into anything, but then she wouldn't be here if he did, right?
Kyoko shook her head and gently took his hand from her wrist and put it on his knee. "No, You were…" she paused and seemed to be searching for a word, "… yourself last night and you would never let anything happen to me, right?"
He nodded and let her go. He stayed on the couch, trying to remember what he did or said. She smiled and almost glided into the kitchen. She blushed as she started to make his breakfast remembering last night.
"Stay with me, Kyoko, please." Ren was sitting up, half naked and holding on to Kyoko like she was a teddy bear. She looked into his face and found that she couldn't argue with him. His face was filled with need and hope. There wasn't a trace of lust or mischief that she could see.
"Okay," she whispered. She stood up and he held her back.
"Where are you going?" He asked uneasily.
"To change. I promise I'll be back." She didn't bring a change of clothes but his were so large that it should be enough. She took a shirt and found some shorts of his and changed. They were so soft and warm, though perhaps it wasn't the clothes that made her feel that way. She smiled to herself. She walked back timidly and found him asleep. She smiled and started to walk out.
"Where are you going?" His voice stopped her, this time he sounded distressed and she smiled. He was a light sleeper.
"No where." She walked back and crawled on top of the large bed. He pulled the sheets back and she saw his naked chest, making her blush.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered and her face got darker. She sat a good distance away and started to lie down. Once she settled, he frowned and moved closer to her. She felt his hand at her waist and he pulled her to him. She yelped trying to control her heart rate, repeating to herself that this was innocent.
"I love you, Kyoko," he whispered and fell fast asleep.
Kyoko couldn't fall asleep if she wanted to. His heart was beating softly against her arm, and he cuddled up against her, his arm resting on her stomach, his leg across hers, she was effectively pinned. The only thing that was free was her right arm. She sunk into the covers and into his warmth with a soft smile.
'Corn. All this time, you were Corn.'
She ran her hand up his arm and he moved closer to her.
'No matter how much you've changed, Corn, I will still love you just the same.'
"I love you, Ren," she whispered out loud to the sleeping man beside her and fell asleep.