AN1: I should trigger warn for random violent attack. (more in the end note) - And most of all this chapter drops some bombs, but remember 'nothing is true - everything is..' eh wrong game, but still.. hahaha don't believe it's that straight forward, and also this was a planned plot twist, so I know where I am going. I think there is a good 2 maybe 3 chapters left of this story.

A year later.

Cheap hotels was still a hate-love thing for Jake, both for the same reasons as ever, but also because he could hide away with Chris. Once the door to the room was locked, it was like they were cocooned and the outside world didn't exist.

It wasn't like they had ever made any rules of conduct, a safe word or any of that. They just made it up as they went along, the difficult task of juggling being secretive, and then being there 100% when they saw each other. Jake had to admit there had been some really awkward moments, like when Chris had invited everyone over for his birthday, and Claire and Sherry had insisted that he came too, they had given Chris shit for not inviting Jake. Even if Jake had told them that he had just declined because he was busy, this was such an obvious lie that neither of the girls believed him. He had had to sit there and play nice with Chris, Jill and their friends. Have a beer and talk sports when all he could think of was sucking Chris' cock. Yeah that had been a very, very long evening.

When Sherry had asked him if there was still bad blood between him and Chris, because he had been all walled up. Jake made a mental note to lie better, and never put himself or Chris in a situation like this again. But for most of the time, Jake just pretended that Chris' other life didn't exist.

That was until the day when Chris had called and asked Jake to meet him at this diner outside the city. Jake had thought it was sorta weird, but he had said he'd be there.

And this was where he found himself now, a dingy crap diner, slowly drinking his second refill of coffee, listening to whatever shit was on the jukebox, staring at his phone, wondering where the hell Chris was. But he didn't want to text him, just in case something came up, and maybe in case Jill went through his phone. So he just sighed and stared out the window.

"Want another refill?" The waitress asked, and Jake looked down at his cold coffee, "Yeah." He smiled politely at the girl and urged her to just pour some hot coffee into the cold in his cup.

For a second Jake almost thought she would say something like 'got stood up huh?' But she didn't, her empathic motherly look said it all. And Jake just sighed and pulled his cup back and watched the now warm brown liquid swirl and settle. He promised himself he'd walk out once he finished this cup.

He was just about to leave when Chris walked through the door, he looked flustered and Jake felt slightly bad for sitting here thinking he had just forgotten, apparently he had hurried. "Sorry." Chris mumbled, "I was hoping you'd still be here."

"I was just about to leave actually." Jake shrugged, but leaned back into his seat.

"Okay so," Chris said, "I'm sorry, I should have called."

"It's fine, you're here now." Jake said with a gentle smile, which was in stark contrast to his body language and annoyed stare.

Chris sighed, knowing he deserved every one of the snarky comments coming his way. "What will it be, handsome?" The waitress suddenly said, standing at their table.

"Err.. cup of coffee, do you have anything stronger to put in it? Like rum or something." Chris asked.

"Actually.. then" The waitress looked over at Jake, "Yeah I think we have a bottle of something out back, I can make an exception for you guys." She smiled brightly. "You want one too?"

"Sure." Jake said, getting more and more antsy, not liking this one bit. The waitress left and Jake studied Chris. "So?"

"Jill wanted me to – Never mind," He broke the unwritten rule of never talking about his 'other' life, but today he had to. "I told her it was work related, I don't know if she believed me."

Jake nodded, "You could just have called me, and told me that you were busy, you know." Jake said, quickly glancing up at the waitress as she brought their coffee.

"I have been working myself up to this for a week, so-" Chris leaned in over the table, and much to Jake's surprise, he took his hand, covered it with his own. "I uhm, I know we never talked about exactly what we are, but I need you to know that I love you."

"What is it?" Jake felt himself go cold and hot, not sure he wanted to hear what Chris had to say.

"Jill is pregnant." Chris said, unable to look Jake in the eyes, and only nodded as Jake snatched his hand out from under Chris'.

"Oh." Jake sucked in his breath, and crossed his arms over his chest. "I suppose congratulations are in order then."

"Jake, don't." Chris whined.

"Don't what?" Jake asked, surprised that his voice didn't tremble as much as he thought it would.

Chris just shot him a glare, and Jake looked away. "Jake, babe.. look at me." Chris said keeping his voice low in the almost empty diner. Jake turned his head and looked at Chris. "So," Chris said, wetting his lips, "Where does this leave us?"

"A kid needs his dad." Jake said with a cold tone, "That is where it leaves us."

"You didn't have a dad, and -"

"Don't go there." Jake whispered angrily.

"Aw come on man, I didn't mean it like that." Chris said turning his attention to his coffee.

Jake sat silent in a moment and then nodded, "Yeah, yeah I know." He said softly, "Touchy subject, that's all."

Chris nodded too. "All I wanted to do was just to tell you, and see you." He smiled into his coffee, "It's been too long."

"Yeah." Jake smiled knowingly to his own reflection in the coffee's surface. "I'd lie if I said it didn't complicate things." He said with a diplomatic expression and tone. "It all depends on you, what you wanna do." He slowly looked up at Chris who fidgeted with a paper napkin. "We both knew that someday we'd be at a crossroad, and had to make a choice."

"Are you seriously sitting there and lecturing me on commitment?" Chris asked surprised.

"I am not lecturing you, I am just saying you have to make a choice." Jake said coolly, "And that I refuse to believe that it comes as a surprise."

"So what is it you want, huh Jake? You want commitment too? Boyfriends with identical sneakers, white picket fence and family over for thanksgiving?" Chris sneered.

"I never said that." Jake said, his eyes shooting daggers, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "And I'd definitely never wear the same sneakers as you." He mumbled into his coffee. "Don't twist my words."

"I'm sorry." Chris whimpered, "I'm sorry.. this whole thing is just.. too much, man."

"Yeah it's just great that you ask me to come to this shithole and then lets me sit and rot like a fucking idiot, and then you unload your crap on me. Is there anything else I can help you with today?" Jake hissed angrily, he knew that the right thing would be to leave it be, but he just couldn't. Chris had hit a nerve hadn't he? Commitment was exactly why Jake had been reluctant to get into this whole clusterfuck.

"Okay I deserved that." Chris mumbled pinching the bridge of his nose to ward off the emerging headache.

"Yes, you did." Jake huffed, but went back to his coffee.

"So what do you wanna do?" Chris asked softly after they had been sitting in silence for a long time, just listening to the horrible damn country music on the jukebox.

"Don't know." Jake admitted in a near whisper, "Why are you asking me? What do you want?"

"You." Chris said with a little timid smile.

"Well I am right here." Jake said, his voice still carrying a hint of anger. "The real question is really, what role you expect me to have, do you want things to continue like before?"

"Yeah.." Chris said and nodded. "I just wanted to tell you this myself, I didn't want it to come back to bite my ass later."

"Suppose there is no right time for dropping a bomb like that." Jake sighed, feeling like his life just got fifty percent more complicated.

"Suppose not." Chris looked up at Jake and dared a real smile, "So we good?"

Jake looked away from Chris and out the window at the parking lot. Some insane voice in the back of his mind told him that things would just be so much simple without Chris, but another part of him never wanted to let go. "Yeah." The words were like molasses, "I need to know something though, the truth Chris." He looked over at Chris with a flicker of a smile, "Do you expect me to stand by, while you play family?"

"Jake, for fucks sake man, here we go again with the commitment thing." Chris ran a hand through his hair, "Yes, I would be an idiot if I didn't want that, and that is the truth." His cheeks flushed but more from anger than from embarrassment. "It does raise the interesting question of, how did you imagine this?"

"I stopped imagining things long ago." Jake said with a hurt expression, "But if that is all you want from me, then you know where I live and you got my number." He leaned in over the table and whispered, "We could always go and do a fast one in a bathroom stall."

"Okay Jake, I know how it sounds, but you have to understand that Jill is on my case about responsibility and family commitments and what have you. But I want you too, that didn't just go away because she wants to be someone's mother."

"Wow." Jake just sighed, "Wow man." He shook his head, "She didn't chose to be a mother, you chose to stick your fucking cock inside her and shoot your load, that is what happened." He flinched as the doorbell above the door to the diner rang when someone entered.

"We're married, what the hell did you expect?" Chris shot back.

"Absolutely nothing." Jake lied.

"God can we just pretend this conversation never happened?" Chris fell back in his chair and rubbed his face in his hands.

"No." Jake just stated, trying his hardest to keep his face blank, not showing how childishly hurt he felt. What had he imagined indeed?

"Alright." Chris nodded, he bit his lip and then added "All I ask is that you don't ask me to choose, I can't – I won't."

"I won't." Jake said softly, he put his cup down on the table and looked sadly at Chris, "I'm just not sure I can do this." He said, feeling his he had to drag every word out, why was talking about feelings so hard when it came to Chris?

Chris nodded, "Look do you want to get out of here? Let's go do something else, and pick this up later."

Jake nodded, really he just wanted to get out of here. "What did you have in mind?"

"Dunno, maybe we can make things up as we go?" Chris smiled, relieved that Jake had not had a fit, but honestly he seemed more shell shocked than anything. "Feel like dancing?" Chris smiled boyish.

"Dancing?" Jake couldn't help but to smile. "It's noon, where the fuck would you go dancing?"

"Well, admitted we have some hours to burn." He grinned and got up from the table, followed by Jake.

Hours later Jake found himself in a town he had never heard of, in a disco he had not known existed, with a drink he couldn't pronounce in his hand. He glanced over at Chris and smiled, "I don't dance," He yelled in Chris' ear.

Chris looked at Jake lovingly, his soft smile widened to a knowing grin. "Yes you do." Chris laughed. Jake punched his shoulder playfully, making Chris look down at his pocket, he picked up his phone which couldn't be heard, but the screen flashed as it announced an incoming call. "Hang on." Chris picked up the phone, "Yeah?" He yelled over the music. "We went for a drink, - mmhmm, well Jake." Chris frowned, "Yeah him, I told you that – Hang on, I can't hear you." He shot Jake an apologetic look and left for the bathrooms for less noise.

Jake felt that knot in his chest grow and pulsate like his fear of losing Chris was an entity of its own. Because that was really what this was about, that he didn't want to be without, no matter how much easier it would be. He took a sip of his drink and looked out over the dance floor. This was his future wasn't it? 'Can't come Tuesday, son's soccer practice', 'can't do Friday cause we're going to the park', 'Jill wants me to be home more'. Was he really ready to deal with that?

Chris came back in with a sheepish look, "Sorry about that." He whispered in Jake's ear, "I turned the phone off now." He smiled against the shell of the ear.

"You were right in the diner." Jake said casually, not turning his head, just assuming that Chris heard him. "I wish, I wish that you were mine."

"But I am." Chris said, wrapping his arms around Jake's waist.

"No you're not." Jake said sadly, and then returned to his drink.

"Don't.. Let's just have some fun. Want a refill?"

"Sure."

Of course Chris had been right, only five drinks later, Jake was dancing and laughing. How Chris loved to see him like that, laughing and being silly. It was so rare not to see him all buttoned up and serious with a scowl on his face. Chris whipped out an arm and pulled a surprised Jake close. "I love you," He said, kissing the other man swiftly.

Jake hated that his entire face felt warm, his smile widened and he looked at Chris, "I love you too." He said, feeling that familiar ache in the pit of his stomach. Knowing that it was the naked truth.

Chris' smile widened, "Good." And then he twirled Jake around and let go, resuming dancing.

It was late when they walked out of the club, Jake almost stumbling over the curb and his own feet, and Chris catching him. They had left the car by the motel because drinking and driving didn't quite mix. So they walked down the street, Jake had his arm around Chris' waist, and Chris his arm around Jake's shoulders. Jake rested his lead heavy head on Chris shoulder, "Did you see that chick in the pink top, holy fuck she was -"

But Jake didn't get to finish his sentence, before he heard a loud crack, and Chris fell like a rock to the curb, it took a couple of seconds for Jake to register what had happened, and what was going on. He had not seen danger here, he had not even suspected it. "Wh-what.." He turned around and looked at four young men and a woman, standing behind them, one man held a steel pipe in his hand.

"You fucking faggots make me sick, parading your filth around like that." One of the men said.

Jake tried to think fast, tried to prep for a fight mentally, but he was so drunk that he couldn't really focus. One of the men reached out for his arm, but Jake was faster and moved a step away, he couldn't really get a hit in on either of the men, he could only attempt to stay out of reach, but in the end they proved too many, and Jake too drunk. One of them got a real good punch in on his face, he felt the cartilage of his nose crack, and blood pooled in his mouth as another fist made impact with his chin. If it was a kneejerk reaction or if it was luck he didn't know, but he managed to get a grip on the steel pipe, and swiftly turned it around and thrust the far end into its owners face causing him to double over in pain.

The girl screamed and two of the men came to their friend's aid, getting him back to his feet, the last man sized up Jake, "Come on, we can take him." He yelled, but his friends were not as keen. "We have to take Peter to the E.R, man. He crushed his fucking mouth." The last man looked from the two men holding up Peter who tried to stop the bleeding with his hands. And the girl looked ghostly pale in the background. "Alright.. " The last man said, "You're fucking dead faggot, you hear me?" He pointed at Jake who held on to the steel pipe so hard his knuckles were white.

"You're welcome to try fucker." Jake spat back.

"Come on Ben, we gotta go!" The girl yelled, clearly upset. And in the end Ben just glared at Jake and then ran to join his friends, getting their buddy to the E.R.

Jake was still holding the steel pipe when he fell on his knees next to Chris on the pavement, "Chris!" He whispered, with shaking fingers searching for a pulse on Chris' neck. He let out a breath of relief when he found it. "Thank you Jesus." He whispered, resting his forehead against Chris'. He sat up and got his phone out calling for an ambulance, he knew that none of the field tricks he knew would help Chris, and he needed a hospital. "Hello?" He said into his phone as he connected with the alarm central, "I'm on some street, right next to something called uhm.. Zapp fashion, my friend he is, he is – someone hit him over the head with a steel pipe, he's bleeding and not responding. Could you send someone?"

"Zapp Fashion you say?" The operator asked.

"Yes."

"He took a blow to the head?"

"Yes."

"Are you staying with him?" The operator asked.

"Yes! Just send someone for fucks sake." Jake growled down the phone.

"They are already on their way sir, do you want to stay on the phone till they get there?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks." Jake mumbled hanging up while the operator still spoke. He looked down at Chris and placed a bloody hand on his cheek, "They're coming, you're gonna be alright." He smiled, winching at the sharp pain in what seems like his entire face. Had they been in the field, things would have looked so very different, they would have heard them coming, and those fucking idiots would have had their asses handed to them, and most of all, Jake would have carried something to treat the gash in Chris' head. He honestly hadn't felt this helpless since his mother got real sick, and this – this was why he never let anyone close.

AN2: When I wrote this I had to ask my beta if it seemed too weird that they'd get attacked. But things like that sadly happens all over the world, and they rarely have any other explanation than they don't like what the victims were doing. And also my maybe own personal opinion on things since I hardly think that either Chris or Jake are superhuman, and ergo very real human things can happen in a split second. But again, it's a part of the plot, cause if it were not, I would have avoided that scene all together and written a car crash.