Chapter 10

WOW I AM SO SUPER HAPPY THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE MY STORY. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. Haha.

But today was my first day of school… no homework!

To celebrate I'm updating 3 times today! :DDD

Well go on! Read it! :3

Katniss POV

I watched Peeta walk back into his room. I watched him close his door. I watched his door for a while.

I was hoping it would open and Peeta would walk out. He would come over to me and hold me close. He would stroke my hair and let me cry on his shoulder. But, we all know that isn't going to happen.

I really did not want to be alone right now. I couldn't stay with just me and my thoughts. But who else could I go to? Not Effie. Not Peeta. Not any guards. Maybe Haymitch…

I might be completely insane but I'm going to go to Haymitch with my problems.

I walked down to his room and knocked on his door.

After a few moments Haymitch retched the door open and leaned on it for support.

He's drunk.

"Hey, Sweetheart." He grinned.

"Hi Haymitch."

I pushed past him and sat on his couch. He stumbled over and sat down next to me.

"Haymitch… why do you drink so much?" I asked him.

"I told you. You'll have the nightmares soon, too."

"What nightmares?" I asked.

He leaned in close to my ear and said, "the ones that come from the Hunger Games."

He chuckled and said, "Sweetheart, you're in for one hell of a ride."

I just nodded.

I felt a rush of overwhelming sadness wash over me.

I've seen it before. People change in the hunger games. They come back as completely different people. They aren't innocent anymore. They are monsters. They've killed countless amounts of people. But that will not be me. Or Peeta for that matter. I will not let the capitol corrupt such a kind boy. He won't be killing anyone. Neither will I.

I realize that I passed out. I woke on the floor and saw Haymitch looking over me and saying, "Katniss? Katniss!"

"What happened?" I asked worried.

"You just collapsed!"

I felt the thoughts flooding back into my mind.

A surprising thought takes over every other thought. All I can hear in my mind is, "I wish I was dead."

I gasped. That thought kept echoing throughout my mind. Suddenly, I couldn't feel any other feeling other than pain. Sadness. Desire to die.

I ran out of Haymitch's room and into Peeta's.

I don't know why, I couldn't control my body. It was like some foreign entity controlling my limbs.

Peeta wasn't asleep. He was staring up at the ceiling and he was crying.

He didn't notice me open the door but he nearly jumped out of his bed when I climbed in and grabbed on to him. At this point I was hysterical with tears.

I could barely hear him over my sobs when he said, "Katniss! What's wrong!"

He was holding back his own tears as he spoke.

I wasn't holding back at all. I cried. And cried. And cried.

Pull it together Katniss! This is not you! You are strong!

I inhaled deeply and looked at Peeta.

He looked like he was on the brink of hysteria also.

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

He looked away. A scowl took place on his face instead of his usual smile. He sighed and looked at me again.

I could see the fire and pain and desire and madness in his eyes. He looked actually scary for once. That's when I realized, He's going through the same thing as I am. He felt the desire to die. He felt the overwhelming sadness and pain, too.

I didn't realize I was talking but I was. "Peeta you will not die in these games. You will not kill yourself. You will win. I won't allow you to do anything but." I sounded fierce.

He sighed. "Katniss. For you to win you have to kill me. And everybody in your way. My plan from the beginning was to help you kill off everyone else then when it was just you and me I would let you kill me. And if you didn't kill me, As you are refusing now, I would kill myself."

I gasped. "No Peeta! No!"

"Katniss… I want to die. Can't I have what I want, for once in my life?" He sounded depressed. He was basically begging me to kill him.

I didn't say anything else. I just put my head down on his chest and tried to fall asleep. Sleep wasn't coming for me, though. Apparently, sleep didn't want Peeta either.

"Peeta?" I asked.

"Yes, Katniss?" He asked sweetly.

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

"I already thought you were." He smirked.

I sighed happily and closed my eyes.

I could die happy right now. I felt this peace invade my mind. It was… amazing. I wish I could die right now, at this exact moment. I would be okay with it. But I came to realize. I wasn't going to die anytime soon. Peeta needed me to stay alive. Because apparently if I die, so does Peeta. It's not logical but there's no use in arguing with Peeta now.

Before I knew it, it was morning. I looked at the clock. 5:30.

I jumped up and ran to my room. If I wasn't there when Effie came in I would be in big trouble.

I got in my bed at exactly the right moment. Because Effie walked in right after I plopped down.

"Katniss! It's a big big big big day! Today is the opening ceremony and the interviews! We have to get you to Cinna!" She squeaked.

Oh, goodness.

Okay, so no District 9 boy in this one…

I did a lot of reorganizing and rethinking.

In the next few chapters to come I think you guys might be kind of surprised.

I'll be surprised if you're not.. Lol

Well, I have to get going and write 2 more chapters for today (:

WOO HOO NO HOMEWORK! :D