CHAPTER 10

After spending the day wandering around Brighton and eating a late dinner at the local pub, Alfred and Arthur finally returned to the cottage, tired from a long day of travel and walking around. Alfred was having a great time, getting to spend it with Arthur; but he was a little worried about the coming night and sleeping. He had never seen Arthur in anything less than a button down, with long sleeves, usually with something over it, and nice pants. He could hardly believe he was about to see Arthur in his night clothes and possibly less on this trip, and the thoughts embarrassed and slightly excited him.

Arthur was still in the bathroom, taking his time with the bath. Arthur had an absolutely stunning day, showing Alfred the sights and some of the buildings which were worth seeing. The only downside so far was the ruins left over by the bombs.

Throughout the day, though, Arthur wondered if it was a wise decision to invite Alfred to sleep in one bed. He worried it was too forward, considering the stage their relationship was at, but then he figured it would be like running away from the inevitable. After drying himself with a towel and brushing his teeth, Arthur dressed in his classic, light green pyjamas. This was nothing big, he thought to himself glancing at the nervous expression in the mirror. After all he was still fully clothed and... damn it. Why was it so embarrassing? He shook his head, and finally came back to the bedroom.

Alfred had already changed into blue pyjamas with white stripes. He normally slept in less, but he felt uncomfortable doing so with Arthur in the same bed. Alfred thanked god he decided to bring these, just in case. He was sitting awkwardly on the bed and looked over when Arthur walked in and stared. It was so intimate, seeing him like that and to know he would be in the same bed made the feeling stronger. It was oddly arousing being like this with Arthur. The American mentally shook his head of such thoughts; they were just going to sleep, that was it. He looked away after another moment.

The silence in the room was somewhat unnerving, and Arthur wasn't sure how to break it. The only light came from a small lamp on the bed-side table making the atmosphere seem almost more private, and yet giving enough light to allow quite detailed observation. Arthur could feel the soldier's sight on him, as he walked to the bed, approaching it from the other side. The Briton sat down and then pulled up the duvet, as he was in a half reclining position. Almost subconsciously, he kept the distance from Alfred.

"Are you ready to go to sleep?" he asked, finally breaking the spell in the room. He hoped that some words would make it easier and the whole situation would seem more familiar, but his voice seemed alien.

"Yep," Alfred said, shifting slightly, getting more comfortable under the covers, making sure to stay away from Arthur. It wasn't that he didn't want to touch Arthur; it just would have been too much at that time. The silence returned for a few minutes before Alfred added, "...Today...was fun."

Light might have been dim, but Arthur was reluctant to turn it off. "...I am glad. There is still so much to see..." he started, trying to keep his voice casual and somewhat failing. Really, they were just having a conversation. A simple, friendly conversation about the first day of their holiday. Why was Arthur getting so bloody nervous?

"Yep...we have to go to the beach and see...other things." Even with the tour, Alfred was still unsure about what else they would be doing. He yawned, feeling the busy day weighting down on him.

"Of course. I think we could...maybe go to the theatre or... something of the sort. I'm not sure if these are open. We would need to find out." Arthur said, filling in the awkwardness with just normal talk. He knew that all those words were pointless and yet Arthur stubbornly made his attempt at relaxing the mood even if he would have to talk about the weather. He was surprised to suddenly realise he wasn't looking at Alfred as much as he usually would. It was almost as if he worried he'd be invading the American's privacy.

Alfred nodded, "That would be fun." He was not sure what to do, it was all so awkward. He did not want to go to sleep, but at the same time he did, to just get this over with. He was tired of the awkward small talk, "Well, I'm tired Arthur, let's go to sleep."

"...It was a long day." Arthur agreed and worried that he was almost too eager as he reached out to turn off the light. He sighed very quietly, knowing that Alfred was probably just as uncomfortable as he was right then... but it didn't make him feel any better. In fact, Arthur felt all the worse about it, wishing he could just relax and stop getting flustered over such a minor thing. The Briton shifted to make himself more comfortable on the pillow.

After a moment of silence, Alfred eventually broke it, finding it just as awkward as with the lights on, but worse. Before, he could distract himself by looking around the room, now he kept listening to Arthur's breathing.

"Night, Arthur."

"Goodnight." Arthur replied, his voice low, almost a whisper now. He closed his eyes, trying to calm his breathing, worrying that the race of his heartbeat was audible to Alfred. The man bit down on his lip, still blaming himself for being so tense. Then again... could he really be this harsh on himself? Sharing a bed with someone was a great deal. As usual, when Arthur needed for his sleep to come...it wouldn't. All the emotions were still playing in his mind, and Arthur found it impossible to just withdraw from them. He couldn't stop thinking about the fact that within reach there was Alfred's strong body and... If he had only moved closer he would feel its heat and the definition easily through the thin fabric of pyjamas... Arthur closed his eyes tighter. He didn't need these thoughts now.

Alfred lay there, staring at the darkness, still listening to Arthur's breathing. He was never this uneasy when he was small and he would sleep with Mattie, because something had scared them. Alfred wished it wasn't so awkward now, but there was no way it couldn't be. This was his partner and they were sharing a bed, like a couple would.

Alfred soon realized he was not going to be able to go to sleep if he kept thinking about Arthur and how awkward it was. He wondered if there was something he could do to ease just the overall awkwardness of it. He eventually gave into one of the ideas that appeared in his head and he hesitatingly reached over and touched Arthur's hand.

It shifted just a little at first. Arthur was surprised to feel this big, warm hand over his and... felt warmth spreading in his chest as he figured that this was Alfred's way of comforting them and at least building some kind of... 'bridge' with this sole, innocent touch. Arthur blushed and was thankful for the darkness, when he entangled his fingers together with Alfred's.

Alfred sighed, it was still awkward as hell, but it was less uncomfortable, knowing that they were dealing with this together. He squeezed Arthur's hand gently. The other man could feel the tiniest of smiles coming onto his lips. Even if it was just their hands touching... it was better than nothing at all. He slowly squeezed back, showing Alfred that he was feeling the same way.

Alfred smiled and felt himself really start to relax. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. Now, it only took Arthur a few more moments during which he could listen to Alfred's breathing eventually becoming peaceful and absolutely even. With his hand still where it was, together with Alfred's, the Briton found himself finally drifting off to sleep.

***

The sun was already peeping through the heavy curtains, shining onto the bed making Arthur shift a little in his sleep. It's been a while since he was able to have a nice lay in and he fully appreciated it. Not to mention, he was comfortably warm but... there was another sound which he did not recognise. Slowly, Arthur opened his eyes to realise that during the night Alfred moved closer and they were facing each other. Their hands let go during the sleep, but Alfred's sleeping face was just a few inches away from his own. Arthur could feel himself blushing immediately.

Knowing that Alfred was deep asleep -there was a quiet snoring sound- he allowed himself a few minutes to examine the American's face close up. There was a faint shadow of whiskers on his jaw, his light pink lips were parted and the blond eyelashes seemed ever so slightly longer now that his eyes were closed. Alfred's hair was in a mess, but that only made him appear somewhat younger and adorable. Arthur was thrilled to get such a view the first thing in the morning, and despite the initial embarrassment...he now knew that the awkwardness last night was all worth it.

Suddenly, a genius idea popped into Arthur's head. Since he was already the first one up... he would prepare breakfast for Alfred! Very quietly, he slid out of the bed and grabbed some fresh clothes to change into. As soon as he was dressed, Arthur headed downstairs to the kitchen and started on preparing the full English breakfast; bacon, fried eggs, fried tomatoes on toast and small sausages. The Briton then decided to make a considerate adjustment by swapping the cup of tea for coffee.

Everything was placed on a tray and Arthur was extremely excited as he was carrying the breakfast up the stairs. Alright, maybe the bacon turned out a little too crispy, sausages seemed to lose their shape and the toast was slightly burned... but it wasn't that bad. Surely.

Alfred woke up to the smell of burning food. He looked around, confused and alarmed. He found that Arthur's spot on the bed was starting to cool and he was nowhere to be seen. The American was just about to get up when Arthur walked into the room with a tray of... something.

"Good morning, Arthur." He said, eyeing the tray.

"Good morning, Alfred" Arthur replied, an absolutely adorable smile spread on his lips as he walked closer to the bed. "I... made you breakfast" he said, now blushing just a little as he placed the tray on Alfred's lap. "O-of course you don't have to eat it if... you don't like it." he added quickly, glancing to the side.

Alfred looked at the adorable blush on Arthur's face and back down at the 'food' now sitting on his lap. It did not look or smell appealing at all; but the look on Arthur's face! Well, maybe it tasted better than it looked. He took a bite and nearly gagged. It was worse than the stuff he got on the field, but he looked back into Arthur's hopeful face and sighed inwardly before smiling.

"It's really good."

Arthur still wasn't certain. He observed Alfred's face carefully, worried whether he was lying or telling the truth.

"...Really...? I don't...cook often so... I'm not sure if it's any good." he said, biting down on his lip and looking down again. Arthur sat down on the edge of the bed.

Well, damn; with Arthur looking like that there was no way he could get out of eating it. Alfred took another bite of the food. "Yep, this is really good. I couldn't tell you don't cook that much." He guessed Mrs. Kirkland realized that Arthur couldn't cook and decided to not let the man waste their food by cooking it.

After such praise, Arthur's face brightened up again as he looked directly at Alfred.

"...I...tried my best" Arthur said and just stayed where he was for a while, watching the American eat his food. Arthur only cooked a few times, the first time he did, David was absolutely horrible to him and Hugh had to comfort him for about half an hour -Arthur was only 16 at the time. That experience however put him off cooking for a while.

Alfred looked at the bright smile and then smiled back. Well, he could tell he did and there was no way he was going to hurt Arthur's feeling.

"It is great, Arthur." Hell, it would even be worth the upset stomach he will probably have later. He continued to eat it, finding the faster he ate the less bad it tasted.

With food disappearing so quickly, Arthur decided that Alfred must have either been really hungry or that he liked it so much. Well, there were still many more mornings to come and Arthur would make sure to always prepare the breakfast for Alfred. "...I'm really glad you liked it." he said, taking the tray from the American, when he was done.

Alfred smiled, "Yep, it was good." He would have to make sure to be up before Arthur so he wouldn't have to eat that again. He suddenly realized he was the only person who ate anything, "But what did you have for breakfast?"

"Oh... I'll have some of the leftovers from what I made. Don't worry about it" Arthur said with a shrug. He was so excited about preparing a meal for Alfred, that despite putting aside a small portion for himself, Arthur forgot to eat it. "You can get dressed now." he said and got up, ready to leave the bedroom.

"Alright," Alfred said with a smile. He wanted to give Arthur a kiss good morning, but felt a little awkward doing it so he let Arthur go.

Alfred got up, got dressed, and walked downstairs; by the time he got there, Arthur had already managed to wash the dirty dishes and was now finishing off his breakfast. He didn't really notice much difference in taste but that was probably due to the fact that he was already used to the food he made.

Alfred sat down at the table and smiled Arthur, "So what are we doing today?"

"Well," Arthur started "I was thinking we could do some more sightseeing in the morning, maybe eat lunch out and then get back. To be honest, I'll need to do at least some work during the stay here so it'll be good to have at least an hour or two of writing today. I have quite a few interesting places on my mind that you may want to see. Of course, we can then think of something to do in the evening."

"Awesome," Alfred said with a smile. He was fine with anything as long as it was with Arthur and he was not cooking.

When Arthur was done they left the cottage and took a walk to the town, checking out the small shops and watching the people walk around.

Arthur took Alfred to another few of the churches and interesting buildings. With each, there was a short story that Arthur would provide Alfred with. They spent a long while at the Brighton Pier, strolling around and getting the most out of October sun.

It was difficult to fully ignore the destroyed part of Brighton, and despite some tourists still around, many people had sour faces and the atmosphere wasn't as upbeat as it should be in such a town. Still, Arthur and Alfred managed to entertain themselves and the time seemed to fly. It was already about 6 when they got some fish and chips for dinner and headed back to the cottage, this time using public transport. As soon as they got there, Arthur excused himself and got out some paper and a pen. They got back much later than anticipated and Arthur sat down on the couch to start writing while the memories of what they've seen were still fresh on his mind.

Arthur felt just a little guilty when he was writing and Alfred was just sitting outside, bored. He knew that it was their holiday but at the same time, being a journalist he had his duties to carry out and couldn't just as well ignore them.

The American entertained himself with watching the scenery for a while but eventually he went in and sat down next to Arthur; he began to watch him write. Arthur worried that having Alfred observing would distract him or be irritating... but he actually found it rather pleasant. He was getting close to finishing the second page when he looked at the watch and suddenly realised it was coming so close to the end of the day..it being the second day of their vacation. It was going too fast... and Arthur wondered if he wasn't wasting that time. They could both feel the pressure of parting approaching much too soon. He stopped writing for a moment, staring blankly at the page.

"What's wrong?" Alfred asked when Arthur stopped writing. He could tell the other man wasn't done with writing and wondered if Arthur had forgotten about something.

The man furrowed his eyebrows and then glanced up at Alfred...and that was not wise. Alfred was right here, healthy and tangible making it all the more taunting. If Arthur just wished, he could talk to him, touch him... and in a little over two weeks time, those simple interactions would be impossible. Alfred would be miles away and there would be nothing but letters to tell him whether the American was alright.

"I just..." he started quietly "...realised that there isn't much time left."

Alfred looked at Arthur. It was true, after this vacation he would only have two weeks left, but that was alright. He was going to make the most of his time. He had been doing it all along and now that he was on vacation with Arthur, he was sure about it.

"No, there isn't, but...that's why we got to enjoy the time we have left and not get all sad about what the future."

Arthur sighed loudly. "Is it really all that easy?" he murmured and after a moment of hesitation, Arthur reached up to touch Alfred's cheek. "...I have gotten too used to you being around already... and I don't want you to leave...but of course I know that you must and that you will" Arthur's voice was but a whisper then. Damn it, Alfred was right. He shouldn't be having these thoughts yet... or get down over it, but it was difficult.

Alfred rubbed his cheek against Arthur's hand, making the other man shiver. "No, it isn't. I don't want to leave either, but I guess it is something I just learned." He learned through war to savour each moment of peace and not think about when the fighting would start again. It was too dangerous for his mind to keep thinking about what was to come. However Arthur's mindset was utterly different. There had to be some kind of reassurance, stability.

He couldn't live without at least an idea of what was to come the next day. Arthur knew he couldn't expect that of Alfred, and yet, deep inside, he egoistically wanted to have Alfred as this firm point in his life. Arthur looked down as soon as he could feel his eyes filling with tears.

"Oh, Arthur." Alfred said, his heart clenched at the tears; he did not want Arthur to be upset on this vacation. He lifted his hand up and stroked Arthur's cheek, removing a few tears that had started to trickle down his face. "Come on, baby, don't cry."

"...S-stop," Arthur murmured, but didn't push Alfred's hand away. "...I'm sorry, I ...I shouldn't be acting like this, I just... think too much and... I shouldn't be placing you in such position."

Alfred did not stop and continued to stroke Arthur's face. "No, it's alright. You are upset about this and I understand; I am upset about leaving you too." He wrapped his other arm around Arthur's shoulders and pulled him into a hug.

After a thought, Arthur realised that they didn't even get a chance to hug for... a long time. He wrapped his arms slowly and carefully around the American's neck and stayed close to the warm, strong body. It was all because... Alfred was growing to be such an incredibly important person to Arthur, and he just couldn't not think of the future.

Alfred leaned his head on Arthur's and nuzzled the slightly messy hair. It was soft and smelt nice, just like it had when they had danced a few weeks ago. He relished in the feeling of Arthur's hair and memorised how it felt on his face.

The situation indeed was reminiscent that dance they shared, the place where it all began. Arthur was just as shaken then, and yet Alfred remained calm, sweetly holding him in his arms, making the Briton relax and just try to enjoy the moment. Arthur tightened his embrace while Alfred sighed quietly, partly with relief now that Arthur had stopped crying.

He called Arthur's name softly and when the other man looked up, he kissed him gently. They had not kissed all day and now that they were finally in a place where they could, Alfred realized what a terrible thing they had done.

The surprise on Arthur's side was clear but he wasn't about to protest. The full lips slowly moved against Alfred's. The warmth of the other body was much too inviting and ... he really enjoyed how Alfred's lips felt. There was something really tender about the way he kissed, and the benefit of not having to worry about anyone walking in made the moment all the better. Alfred continued to kiss Arthur, their lips moving together with a bit of a familiarity.

It was nice, the slow, soft, kisses, but he decided that this was the perfect time to go a little further and so Alfred, after a moment of hesitation, licked Arthur's lips gently. They didn't submit immediately. Arthur waited a moment before finally parting his lips to allow Alfred's tongue inside with a quiet sigh. His hand now found a perfect place on Alfred's nape, liking how stable it felt.

Alfred's tongue tentatively crossed into Arthur's mouth and he started to explore it, loving the warm and wet feel. He tightened his arms around Arthur's waist and he started to rub his tongue against Arthur's.

The soldier had kissed girls in the past, even French kissed a few of them, but this was different. It just felt so much better than any girl he had kissed in the past; even those real experienced girls in France who needed food and had started to sell their bodies to get money. He did not actually bed with them, feeling too much pity, but he did kiss one before he realized why she was being so friendly with him.

Feeling just a little daring, Arthur finally pressed up against Alfred's lips more confidently, his tongue rubbing back against Alfred's letting them dance together, but... there was a part of him that still wanted some dominance in the kiss. Arthur had the advantage of having kissed both girls and men in the past, but never went past kisses. Girls were boring too kiss, so soft and gentle, and much too sweet for his liking. Arthur wanted to be challenged but at the same time to feel that the challenge wasn't simply there because of the hormones... and that was exactly what he felt in this kiss. There was something more than simple physical attraction, and it was the first time Arthur experienced such a feeling.

Alfred felt his own confidence grow as each moment passed and the kiss kept feeling better. It was satisfying, having more of the give and take feel in the kiss; Arthur's tongue seemed to know where to touch to make his pleasure at the kiss grow. Alfred wondered just how much experience the Briton actually had with other men. In the beginning he seemed just as confused as he was, but that may have been false. Arthur did know how to kiss him real swell. However, no matter how good the kiss was need for air kicked in and their lips had to separate.

Arthur was panting quietly as he stared at Alfred's face, not moving away... and without another word, he crushed his lips against the American's hoping to make it last just for that moment longer.

After going from soft kisses into something much more passionate... Arthur found himself hungry to relish the feeling and carve it in his mind. Alfred kissed Arthur back with the same passion he was getting and he savoured it.

At long last, they were kissing each other as lovers. It was just too good. He did not want to end the kiss, but after a few more minutes he pulled away, panting.

Arthur stared at the soldier for a moment, his heart around his throat, ready to escape at any point. The Briton's eyes grew a little wider as he stared at Alfred; their colour was slightly misted because of the desire that grew for that moment. He gently pressed a finger to Alfred's lips, allowing them both to calm down.

After a few minutes Alfred felt his breathing start to even out and he felt his minor arousal go down. He smiled at Arthur and when the finger was finally removed said,

"...Well, that was real swell."