I know it's been a while but I had so much to get done. And, besides that, have you all seen the premiere?! I am so not impressed with how that crap idea of a storyline is turning out but fret not, I still have faith that Japril is endgame no matter what :) Anyways, enjoy and keep reviewing!
Her whole world seems to collapse around her. Her arms grow weak, her legs give in, and she finds her head facing the ground as she falls to her knees.
The word seems foreign and strange, like it should never be spoken.
But he did, he spoke it.
And it wasn't to some old person who was dying anyway, or about some unfortunate comatose patient who couldn't help themselves.
No. No, this was to her about her sister.
Her whole world seems to collapse around her.
"What are you talking about?"
Maybe she heard him wrong. Maybe he just got his words confused.
Maybe, just maybe, he didn't mean to tell her that her old sister was lay in the hospital somewhere waiting for a life-altering operation.
"April-"
"Tell me." He doesn't reply for a second, just stares down at her with pity and compassion, "Tell me!"
"Kepner, calm down." It's Cristina that speaks and April scowls at her.
She stares over at Jackson, a hurt look in her eyes, "You know, it's funny. I don't even know you that well, but I at least thought you'd care for me enough to tell me about this." She shakes her head and walks away, back down the hallway where she came from.
"April, I didn't-" He goes to follow her until Yang rests a hand on his chest and stops him.
"I'll go. Just... stay here and try not to cry about it. Besides, you have a surgery to get to."
He pushed back to reality when he remembers that the patient in question is about to be cut open and he has to assist. "I don't know if I can go in there."
"Grow a pair, Avery! Do it for her, or she'll never forgive you."
Cristina walks away then, leaving down the same path that April took moments earlier.
She stops at the end of a corridor down a few hallways, spotting the petite redhead alone on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest.
She heads over to her and sits down beside her, resting her arms over her knees also and clasping her hands together.
"Look, I'm not good with all of that sappy stuff. I don't watch chick flicks, and I didn't do sleep-overs, and I didn't talk about guys, but- Look, I know what it's like to lose a family member, okay? It sucks and it's not cool, and it hurts like crap. You might feel like you wanna rip everybody's head off because they can't fix it, they can't make everything better, but you need to remember that you have people here for you, alright?" She nudges April's shoulder.
"What, you're trying to be my friend?"
"No, please. You're whiny, and girly and your voice gets all high-pitched when you're angry. But, I'm here for you anyway. Something tells me that this place is gonna throw a lot of crap at us, and we're all gonna need each other to make it through the day, so don't get all emotional on me." She smirks with a light chuckle, "He didn't mean it."
April frowns, raising an eyebrow at her, confused, "What?" She wipes the tears from her cheeks and bites her lip.
"Pretty Boy, he wanted to tell you, but Shepherd made him promise not to. I don't know, I wasn't really listening, I was just eavesdropping. Besides, he was pretty adament about staying on her case, and I think that was for your benefit. He screws things up, Kepner, and he's an idiot sometimes, but he seems like a good friend for you. You know, because we're not friends." She cliks her tongue a couple of times before continuing, "They're, uh, taking her into surgery now."
They sit in a comfortable silence until April breaks it and speaks with a small smile, "Thank you."
Yang nods and takes a sharp breath as she stands up, stretching her arms, "Yep, there you do again, getting all whiny on me."
"I wasn't girly, you know? I grew up on a farm, so sleepovers weren't really my thing either." She informs her and Cristina grins.
"Good to know, Crazy Kepner."
She wakes with a headache, the room spinning and her eyes sore.
Slowly sitting up, she stretches her arms and yawns quietly.
"Hey."
April turns her head and smiles softly, "Hi."
"How'd you sleep?" Jackson steps closer, standing beside her and resting his hand on her shoulder comfortably.
She shrugs, "How do you think?"
He nods and licks his lips as he glances down at the woman lying in the bed.
"I'm sorry. About this whole thing and not telling you when I found out."
She shakes her head with a faint smile, "Jackson, it's fine. Cristina told me everything, you- I would've done the same thing."
"The second surgery's gonna be a lot harder on her, so, uh..." He pauses, "You know that Shepherd's gonna do everything he can, right?"
"That doesn't make it hurt any less." She speaks, closing ehr eyes and leaning her head back. "I haven't even- She hasn't woken up yet so she doesn't know I'm here for her, but- I haven't- Do you know how long it's been since I last spoke to her, Jackson?" She stares up at him, ignoring the look of pity on his face, "It's been months. I never go more than a week without speaking to her, to any of my sisters, but it's been months, and I – I hate myself for that."
He kneels down before her, his hands resting on her legs as he reasures her, "Hey." He calls her and she looks down at him, "This is not your fault. Okay? Whether you spoke to her yesterday, or a week ago, or a year ago. It wouldn't have made a difference, alright? This isn't your fault, you can't control it. But, I promise you, we're going to do everything we can for her, okay?"
"You're going to be there, right? You're on her case?"
He nods with a sigh, "Yes."
She doesn't talk for a second, but he notices the tears that start to trail down her face. She quickly goes to brush them away before he stops her, grasping her hands lightly.
"You're allowed to cry, April."
"I don't feel like I am."
"You're, okay? You can cry, and you can be strong for her, because she's going to need it. You're a doctor, you know that she's going to need help and love to get through this." He stares her down, his eyes gazing into her sad ones, "You need to be there for her, but you're allowed to cry all you want, April."
"Can you be there? Please? For her?"
Jackson frowns slightly, "What do you mean?"
"She's my sister, Jackson! And I-" She stops herself and hiccups, "If I can't be in there with her, to hold her hand, then I need you to be, okay? So, can you? Please? Can you just be there for her... for me?"
"I'm not going to leave her side, alright?"
"Thank you."
She makes her way into a silent, her phone grasped tightly in her hand. She has an important phone call to make but she's not sure where to start. Where does she begin?
She hasn't spoken to them in a couple of days, well, her mother at least. She remembers the last thing she said to them being that she loved them, and to wish her youngest sister the best on her exams.
She quickly presses in the number before she has time to change her mind.
"Hello?"
It takes her second to speak, "Hi, Mom."
Karen Kepner smiles on the other end, "Oh, my sweet girl, how are you?"
April closes her eyes and sits herself down on the gurney beside her, "I'm good, I just, ah- I have to ask you something."
"Oh, but first, sweetheart. Do you remember Christopher?"
She thinks back for a second before replying, "That little boy who used to live next door?"
"Yes! Well, anyway, he's all grown up now and he met up with Alice at Ohio State. Charming man, really. Very mature."
"Mom..."
"Right, well, they're engaged!"
The line goes blank for a second until April replies. What the hell?
"She's only twenty years old!"
"Oh, I know, sweetheart, but you know how kids are these days... And you know how we raised you, to go with your gut. Besides, he might be a fine young man but he isn't getting it in our baby's pants before she's married."
"Mom, I really don't want to hear about my little sister doing it."
"And you'd better not have been getting too cosy with those doctors in Seattle. Your father will go on a rampage if he finds out you've been up to not good while you're away from home."
She doesn't tell her about Jackson. She doesn't tell her about her impure and indecent thoughts. She doesn't tell her about how badly she wants to sleep with him, to be with him. Because she knows her mother will never understand.
"You know I'm not like that, Mom."
Karen chuckles, "Oh, I know sweetheart. I was just teasing you."
The joke didn't work, it wasn't that funny. Mainly because April was fully capable of doing such things.
"So, what were you phoning for, sweetie?"
She figures that she may as well just come out with it, clean and sharp, "Did you know about Libby?"
The line is dead for a moment as she waits for her mother to respond. The silence grates April's nerves when she reserves to answer for a second.
"We never wanted you to find out..."
"Are you serious right now? She's at the hospital where I work! What part of that made you think I wouldn't find out?"
Silence.
"She's in Seattle?"
April rolls her eyes, "Yes, and so am I, in case you'd forgotten."
"We didn't forget, sweetie. We just had no idea she was there, she was supposed to be in Oregon."
"How long have you known?"
Her mother pauses for a second, "A couple of years."
She almost collapses then and there, but instead wraps her arms around her legs and lets her head fall.
"You never told me."
"We didn't know how you'd take it."
"I'm a doctor, Mom! How do you think I'd take it?! I could've helped."
Her mother sighs, "April, sweetheart, we know how you can get. You take things too personally, you get too emotional-"
"Of course I'm going to get emotional, she's my sister for crying out loud! Do you even care?"
"We've... We've come to terms with it."
"Oh my God." April gasps, leaning her head back against the white painted wall behind her.
"It has been so long, and such a hard journey, and it's been a lot of pain for your sister. She's come to live with it, and to know the risks. Sweetheart, she's the one who wanted us to go on as if nothing was wrong. She did it for you and your sisters. She knows that you look up to her, you always have, so she didn't want to burden you with that sort of pain."
"It's not a burden, Mom. It's a nightmare." She speaks, closing her eyes as the silence on the other end calms her down slightly.
Upon opening her eyes, she sees Yang coming towards her from down the hall at a fast speed.
Cristina sighs with a faint smile, "God, Kepner, you're such a hard person to find. Why're you hanging out in cramped hallways?" She glances around the room with a frown, pulling her face at a couple of abandoned bedpans on the floor.
April pulls her phone away from her ar with a groan, "It's quiet." She brushes off the question, "What do you want, Yang? In case you couldn't tell, I've kind of already got a lot on my plate..."
Yang holds up her hands, "Avery told me to come and get you. It's, uh- She's awake, Kepner. You can go and see her now."