Chapter 10 (Christian POV)
Not a day goes by that I don't think about Ana and our son.
Today is especially tough as it would have been our one-year anniversary. I look at our wedding photo that I keep in my drawer and I touch her face, remembering the good times. That day she fell into my office, the first time we made love, the day she said yes, or wedding day. Now, that's all I'm left with.
By 10 am, everyone has tried to call me to check up on me like they normally do, but today I refused to take any of their calls. I can't take this shit anymore, no one takes pity on Christian Grey.
"Andrea, for fuck's sake, if my phone rings one more time and it's not about business someone is getting fired," I yell into the intercom.
"I'm sorry Mr. Grey, I won't let it happen again."
"Call Claude and tell him that I need to schedule a session tonight and that its urgent."
Maybe kicking the shit out of Claude tonight can help, I doubt it, but I need to beat the living fuck out of someone.
I can't help but think about that last phone call and then three months getting that joke of divorce papers. She didn't even give me the chance to meet with her in person to talk. She has some Seattle attorney serve me with papers with a personal note from Anastasia asking me to sign the papers and not to contest them or seek her out that this is what she wanted. She said that she didn't need anything that she had enough to take care of herself and Blip and that she would never bother me again and ask that I don't track her down. The only thing that she took was our money. I could care less, I want her taken care of.
My parents have stopped asking me to go and find her because they know how I will react. Elliott and Kate haven't been much help either. They were married about a week after Ana gave birth and that was a tough day, people coming up to me asking if I was ok. I finally got so fed up that I left right after I gave my best man's speech.
I've sought out new subs, but that hasn't worked. All I did was beat the shit out of them and there was no sexual gratification to that. The only person who could touch me was Ana and that's why nothing helped.
I've continued to see Dr. Flynn, but that's pointless too. I thought about stopped seeing him but he's the only person that I can really talk to about this since he knows everything.
Even Elena has reached out to me, but I haven't returned any of her calls, texts or e-mails. By seeing her that night, I know that was the nail in the coffin with Ana and I.
That's when I come to the realization that all of this was my fault. What if I didn't go see Elena that night? What if I was more understanding about the baby. Didn't she not see right through me and see that I was still that scared little boy?
Now, I need to make this right.
"Andrea, I need to go to New York right away, please arrange it. I want to be off the ground in an hour."