A/N – Almost two months later, we're back. :) We have read every comment and appreciate it all – we apologize that we can't answer them all! As for the lag, life tends to get in the way of things. But we're here, and we're back, and we're ready to roll!
(Sarah)
It felt good to be back in bed. I felt like I had just accomplished something; it was a good feeling and it made me proud, even if it was a bit unnerving.
I had killed someone back there. But... it wasn't something that could have been prevented. If I hadn't done anything, that thug would have killed me. Neyrata's death briefly flashed through my mind, but I quickly pushed it away. No, no... neither death was my fault... I had to keep telling myself that, or else I'd go crazy.
I closed my eyes and entered a state somewhere between meditation and sleep. It was a kind of mode I went into sometimes when I wanted to pray, or think about things, or even entertain self-pity parties. But hey, it wasn't like it'd bother anybody else.
I ended up drifting off to sleep... again.
I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but later I found myself slowly arousing. I heard a female voice who sounded close by. "I need to change this patient's dressing," she said. She sounded very sweet, even if I didn't know who she was. "I'm putting up the curtain."
"I wasn't aware that Miss Sinclair had any dressing to be changed," a male voice said. He sounded confused. "She did have an arm amputated, but overall, she has been alright."
"Doctor Kravos informed me of it just a little bit ago," the female voice, who I guessed was a nurse, said.
"Whatever," the other guy said. "I'm going on break. Meet you in the mess or are you skipping out again?"
"I have paperwork to do."
"Your loss. I'll bring you up something good."
"That'd be great, thanks."
A woman – late twenties maybe, olive-skinned, short black hair – walked in and expanded a curtain attached to the wall, obscuring my view of the door and the window on the other side of the room. Now I felt truly alone, except for a hyper-aware sense of the nurse in my private little space.
"Hello, Miss Sinclair," the nurse said, with a light smile. "How are you feeling today?"
"Pretty good," I said with a slight nod. Then I narrowed my eyes. "Wait a minute, all of my bandages were taken off, weren't they?" I lifted my bed linen and glanced at my arm. It wasn't exactly a pretty sight, but it was not dressed or bandaged. I felt the back of my head; that bandage had been removed as well.
I turned and eyed her suspiciously.
Shepard didn't raise no fools.
"All right... what's going on?" I demanded.
"Well, Miss Sinclair, you're smart; that's a good sign," the nurse said, a tight smile pasted on her face. The entire atmosphere in the room changed with the flick of a hat. "I've come here for something far more important, but what is said here does not leave this room. If you start to panic, this will end badly for you."
My eyes widened slightly. I made a motion to fold my hands together atop my chest... and then I remembered I had only one hand. I simply rested it in the middle of my chest, casually. "Who are you?" I asked after a moment.
"I think this will speak for itself," she said, suddenly pulling out a small metal orb of some kind. A flick of her wrist and it hung in midair. It looked familiar. As she backed away, hands folded behind her back, a hologram appeared of a man I had only seen once during my stay in the Mass Effect universe...and probably not one I particularly cared to see again.
The Illusive Man.
Smoking a cigarette, as always, he looked at me. "Sarah," he said, in his diplomatic, yet sly, tone. That seemed to be his form of a greeting. "It seems you have a certain aversion to death."
I stared at him without blinking for a moment. "Don't do that," I said, pointing at his cigarette with one finger. "It'll kill you." Somehow, after everything that I'd been through lately... I wasn't entirely shocked about this. Or it just didn't affect me as much as I thought it would have.
"Right now, the only thing I am interested in is what will kill you and your friends," the Illusive Man stated, much the gentleman. "You all have a tendency to elude death. It is fascinating, and perhaps a blessing in disguise in times like these."
"I suppose," I said with a shrug. "Then again," I pointed at my missing arm, "I'm not Superwoman, as you can see."
"Yet you may be, when it comes to this war," the Illusive Man pointed out, taking another puff of his cigarette. "I assume your other talents haven't suffered the same fate."
I sighed and lay back on the bed, rolling my eyes and looking up at the ceiling. I wasn't sure why, but... I felt more annoyed than anything at seeing him. Maybe I was getting used to all this crap, or maybe I'd been through so much lately that my nerves used up all of the fear I had in me. I was tired, mentally exhausted, and I just knew that if I got killed here, no big deal. I'd be back home, in the safety of my bedroom, with both arms again.
"You're always watching," I commented. "But I'm not going to tell you, either way."
"Right," the Illusive Man said passively. I wasn't sure if he had confirmed that he'd been watching me or not. "The fact is, Sarah, this war can be solved in easier ways than the galaxy is aware of, and you are one of the few that knows those ways. I am willing to make you an offer."
I looked at him. I was more curious than anything else; I'd almost forgotten that there was a real live agent present in the room. At the moment, it felt like it was just me and the Illusive Man. "What kind of offer?" I asked.
"An offer to join Cerberus," the Illusive Man replied. He was still so calm and controlled, just like he always seemed to be. "An offer that you shouldn't take lightly. I do not make offers personally, in this manner, very often, but you warrant special attention. And it is not an offer that I would extend to your two friends. They are... blinded, but I believe that you have more potential. Perhaps you actually see the truth they can't understand."
I blinked. "What do you mean they're blinded?" I asked. I knew that he was a sick, sick twisted man, and that he was indoctrinated. I was just trying to figure out where he was going with this. "What do you know about them? And why am I different?"
" With all the power that they wield, the knowledge that all three of you have at your fingertips, the two of them reduce themselves to being nothing but Commander Shepard's lapdogs, who is shortsighted herself. They ignore the thousands of opportunities before them," the Illusive Man explained to me. "I could see it during the mission to stop the Collectors. You take chances. We need this."
I considered. Well, I may have a head wound that would make me have a bald spot for at least a few weeks, but I wasn't stupid or mentally impaired. I was not going to betray Abby or HK, or Shepard, or anyone else. This man was working for the Reapers.
Still... would it hurt to play along at all? I knew it would be a very dangerous game, but... maybe I could help out from the inside. I could maybe even sabotage the Illusive Man's attempts somehow, and help Shepard...
Or I could get indoctrinated and end up spilling my secrets. Cerberus was extremely cruel to its own people. What if they got their hands on me, used truth serum on me to make me spill, and then turned me into a husk?
But then, if I refused... I eyed the woman in the corner for a second. What would they do to me?
"I'm listening," I said, stalling for time. "What would you propose? How would I... join up with you?"
"If you will join Cerberus, and tell me how to control the Reapers," the Illusive Man began, folding his hands as he generally did. "Then that will end this war much quicker, and with far fewer casualties; Abby and HK may even survive. While Cerberus moves to control the Reapers, I would offer you protection, safely away from all of the chaos in this galaxy. You would no longer have to worry about the numerous things you have had to worry about since you first joined the Normandy. You would be entirely safe...perhaps, if he is agreeable enough, your turian comrade could even join you."
Turian comrade...? Boy, he really did have his fingers in every pot. Were there any walls that didn't have Cerberus ears? I almost wondered if they could compete with the Shadow Broker for how much intel they had.
Then again, it was them who told Liara where the Shadow Broker was in the first place, and forced her to blow up the Shadow Broker's ship...
"Somehow I doubt he'd want to come along," I sighed, still playing along for the moment. "Besides, he's not in the best condition right now."
I sat up, picking up my pillow and placing it on top of my legs. "So... you want know what my answer is?" I asked.
"I'd advise that you not play games," the Illusive Man warned, very calmly, yet almost threateningly.
I grinned. Then I gripped my pillow and threw it at his hologram. It went right through his head and sailed across the room.
"Just get the fuck out," I said, grabbing my linens as if threatening to throw that, too.
"What other options do you have?" the Illusive Man asked, almost unmoved by my action. He was a master at keeping his poker face, that much I knew. "Go back to Shepard? She left you to die, all to save a leader that, for all intents and purposes, would not even have been needed if she had rescued you in time and convinced you to tell her about the Reapers. Shepard has consistently neglected any needs that you have and left you to fend for yourself. She never understood you. You worked with us once. You know that Cerberus treats its people far better."
"I've seen what people are going to do and what they have done, remember?" I said. "You guys turn people into husks, and you'll torture a lot of people if you get the chance. I already know about the terrible things you're gonna do. GET OUT." I threw my linens at him; they sailed through his mid-section.
Still... I suppose those words did hit a nerve. It was safe to say that me and Shepard had... never gotten along very well. I frowned a little at the thought, looking away. He knew exactly which buttons to press.
"Humanity is going to ascend to far greater heights than it ever has before," the Illusive Man said, his voice rising. Silence. Then, I heard him sigh, and it seemed he was calming back down. "Unfortunately, I can see that you are not going to willingly join us."
He began to turn towards his agent, but he gave one last glance at me. "I'll admit, I always wished for a chance to examine you and your friends ever since you first showed up on the Normandy. Shepard was the only one standing in my way; now, there is no one left to protect you," he said. Then, he turned to his agent. "Subdue her. Get her off the Citadel, and I will transmit the coordinates of your destination to you soon enough."
She nodded, starting to move forward. "Yes, sir," she replied.
As she grabbed the metal orb, his hologram vanished.
My eyes flew wide. I quickly looked around the room, knowing that I was in for a fate worse than death right now. If she captured me, the knowledge in my head might end up betraying everyone.
I scrambled over the side of the bed and scooted myself under it, even though I knew that I was only delaying the inevitable. My breathing became more rapid, and my heartbeat increased. "Help!" I tried to yell, but it only came out in a barely audible squeak.
I could hear, and see, her boots approaching, but all of a sudden, I heard something that almost sounded like a buzz of some sort, and a large...well, I didn't know what to call it except a large clunk. Suddenly, from my awkward position, I could see the agent's entire body collapse to the floor.
I stared at her for a few seconds that seemed like forever, but it didn't take long for me to notice that her chest wasn't moving. She was dead.
It took several seconds for me to build up enough courage to reach out and touch the fallen body. It did not move, which only confirmed that she was a dead duck.
That was the third person I'd seen die right in front of me since this insanity began. Why did people who attacked me keep dying around me? And how did I end up staying alive?
The first time, Neyrata had died and I had only lived because Irren had protected me. The second time, I lived because I pulled a trigger. This time, I lived because...
I blinked. "Kas-"
I didn't get a chance to say her name.
"What is going on in here?" Dr. Michel asked in an alarmed, yet controlled, tone as she and another staff member, a man that looked to be in his mid-thirties, said as they rushed in. Dr. Michel looked around the room, from the dead body, to me, then to the holographic interface.
"Kaela!" the man said, as Dr. Michel immediately rushed to the dead "nurse's" side, crouching down. I recognized his voice; he was the one she was talking to when I woke up.
"No pulse," Dr. Michel said grimly. She turned the woman over with expert fingers and placed her hands on her chest. "Get me a medical team." She began CPR. "She's burned. From what?"
The medical team ripped aside the curtain less than three minutes later and lifted the woman's body off of the floor and on to the bed. Another nurse took over CPR from a perch on the bed. They wheeled her off, the man following close behind.
Dr. Michel looked at me again, a little out of breath. Suddenly, she sounded a lot calmer. "Sarah, are you alright? What happened in here?"
"She worked for Cerberus," I answered, carefully crawling out from under the bed. Dr. Michel grabbed my arm and one of my shoulders, helping me to my feet and sitting me down on the bed. "She tried to kill me."
Dr. Michel looked a lot more alarmed than she had, and she looked pretty alarmed in the first place. "Cerberus?" she repeated with a gasp, though she still sounded fairly calm. She wasn't panicking, at least. "What is Cerberus doing in this hospital? What exactly happened?"
"I... uh..." I swallowed. "It's a long story." I was glad that she was here. There was safety in numbers after all, right? The only thing that irritated me a little was that... if Kasumi was indeed present-and I don't know who else could have killed the Cerberus woman like that and remained undetected-then she probably wouldn't reveal herself with so many people around. After all, she was "dead".
But did that mean she might not reveal herself to me, at all? That thought made me a little sad.
I sighed. "Let's just say... I have a lot of information that is... dangerous to have," I said slowly. "Cerberus wanted me to join them. I refused, so that agent was gonna kill me. Then somehow..." I shrugged. "She just dropped dead." I knew how it probably happened, and who was behind it. A little thing called "shadow strike". Nevertheless, I couldn't say anything about Kasumi.
Dr. Michel activated her omni-tool. "Get C-Sec down here," she commanded, calmly but firmly.
"Yes, ma'am."
She looked back at me. "Did you sustain any injuries?"
"No," I said quickly, shaking my head a little. "Nothing new, at least," I commented, indicating my arm and vaguely referencing my other injuries. "What is C-sec gonna do?" I asked. Ugh, I did not want a guard placed near my room or to spend the next hour being interrogated.
Well... I suppose that having a guard would be a good safety precaution, if they chose to do that. But... it simply seemed that I already had a guardian angel.
Soon I was moved to another room, and from what I gathered C-Sec officers arrived a short time later to investigate the room, the body, and to ask me questions. Dr. Michel was present during the interrogation (that's what it felt like to me) and I tried to be as helpful as I could.
However, when they asked me why Cerberus tried to kill me, I could only say that I had too much information. The officer then said that if I truly knew something, I should spill, possibly be put into protective custody. I refused to say anything, although I did mention that they knew about my "turian friend" as well; I was worried about him.
In the end, the officers decided to scan and search the entire hospital for possible C-sec bugs, along with what few staff the hospital could spare at the moment. A guard was temporarily placed outside of Irren's room and one outside of my room as well. And apparently, they were going to do a thorough review of the entire hospital staff to make sure there wasn't anybody present who wasn't supposed to be there.
And until then... I was alone. Or so they thought, but I'd had a hope that I wasn't.
She didn't decloak - she was too good for that. But, call it a sixth sense or whatever you would, I 'felt' her next to me. I didn't know if she was standing there, looking down at me, or looking at my medical chart, which was in a pocket on the wall beside me.
I decided to be quiet as a mouse. If Kasumi wanted to talk to me, she would. And, thankfully, she did.
"You know," the much-missed, invisible voice said lightly, "I've missed getting your ass out of trouble."
I tried to suppress a grin, but I couldn't. I glanced around the room out of impulse, but of course I knew I wouldn't see her. Instead I rested my head against my pillow and gazed upward, toward the ceiling. "I knew you'd be around," I said cheerfully, keeping my voice quiet. I didn't want the guard to poke his head in, or anyone to think I was talking to myself. "And um... thanks for what you did in the other room."
"I didn't want you to die before I got to interrogate you myself," Kasumi replied. Her voice sounded... strange. It was light, like she was joking, but... something wasn't right. An inkling of unease stirred in my chest. "But I'm guessing that you and Cerberus aren't exactly going to pal around. But you could be a sleeper agent. We wouldn't want that."
I looked in the general area where she might have been, and I narrowed my eyes. "You don't really think I'm crooked, do you?" I asked. "I just helped you save the Hanar and I turned down the Illusive Man. What else do you want me to do?" I shifted slightly, feeling a bit uncomfortable. The painkillers were wearing off; the cuts and scrapes on my legs and abdomen were starting to ache a bit, and the stump where my left arm used to be was starting to itch a little. When would it stop doing that?
"I just want the truth this time."
I sighed. "What kind of truth?" I stalled. Part of me hoped that I wasn't annoying her or anything. And why did I still have a... funny feeling?
Her voice suddenly hardened. "Guess."
"Well... either you want me to spill everything I know about the future, or you want to know how the heck I'm... alive right now," I concluded. I swallowed. I began to wonder if this was anything like what happened to Abby and HK when they first met Shepard again at the start of all this. The Commander had been... accepting of my presence, I guess, because she had already seen them. What would have happened if she had seen me first?
Did they have to convince Shepard that they were who they said they were? And... why did I suddenly feel like I wasn't entirely... safe? I pressed my lips into a thin line. Surely Kasumi wouldn't do anything to me, she knew me...
Right?
"Start with the second one, go from there," Kasumi said evenly.
I opened my mouth and closed it a couple of times. "I can't really explain that," I finally said. "I mean... it's um... it's just not something I can tell you." There was no way she'd get it or believe it if I told her the truth, and I wasn't sure what else to tell her. In this kind of situation, I wasn't as good as Abby at coming up with believable lies to tell on the spot.
Kasumi didn't answer. She appeared to be waiting me out for this one.
And if I didn't have a satisfactory answer... would she really let me leave this room again?
I decided not to test her patience. I licked my lips and stared up at the ceiling for a moment, gathering my thoughts. "Okay," I said. "I can tell you that I'm fine. I'm not a husk and I don't have any Reaper tech in me." I pointed at my neck. "See that? That's the only remnant left of that stupid spider husk... or whatever it was." After I said that, I wasn't sure if it was really a good idea to point that out or not.
I cleared my throat and continued. "The only thing I can tell you is that I went to Palaven's moon, Menae... I just kind of ended up there. I'm not even sure how. So I sought out Garrus, and I talked to him. He assigned a bodyguard to me-the turian who came here with me; his name is Irren Lokam. I knew that Shepard would be coming eventually, so I... stayed at the turian camp."
I paused for breath, then went on. "Shepard finally did show up, but... when the brutes broke into the camp, I panicked and ran." I decided to leave out the part where I heard Reapers in my head... for now. "Me and Irren got caught in a landslide caused by a harvester. I guess Shepard thought we died; she left once her business was done, I'd say. The next thing I know, I'm here at the hospital with a missing arm."
I practically held my breath while I waited for her response.
"Shepard was on Menae?" Kasumi asked. "Never mind. You're here. Why would the turians send you to the Citadel?"
"I'm not sure," I admitted. "I know that Garrus got the Citadel to accept their wounded... and I think General Corinthus got the impression that I was... important. Garrus was given some kind of promotion, I think, because he's the closest thing they had to a Reaper expert." I frowned. That made me wonder if a turian-maybe even the Primarch himself-was going to come check up on me eventually. Then again... I didn't see anybody checking on me after I was nearly killed. There were a few turians present when C-sec had arrived, but I figured they were all C-sec officers. But, you never know.
Come to think of it, my guard outside my room was a turian...
"Is Garrus with Shepard right now?" Kasumi asked.
"Yeah, he is," I answered. "Chakwas is also with her-at least I'd imagine so-and Abby and HK are with her, too. Ummm..." I wracked my brain. "I know that Engineer Adams is onboard, and... possibly Gabby and Kenneth, unless Shepard didn't give them approval yet..." I sighed, rubbing my head warily. "I don't know, I'm not even sure what Shepard is doing right now. I'm sure she'll be back, though; she'll want to visit Kaidan."
Kasumi didn't say anything for a long time, and then I felt something - a hand - squeeze my shoulder. I heard a sniff. "Okay. I'll believe you again. I - Okay. I'm done trying to make sense of it all. Call the nurse in and ask her for water. I need to slip out and do something."
"Huh?" I said. "What're you doing?" However, I got no reply.
Well... since I was trying to be on my best behavior, especially ever since the Cerberus incident, I did exactly as Kasumi asked. I paged a nurse and asked her to bring me some water. I looked at the woman warily as she entered, but I relaxed when I realized it was the same person who'd been with me when I regained consciousness.
She asked me how I was holding up, and I said I was fine.
I lay there quietly for quite some time, just sipping my water. I waited for Kasumi to say something, and occasionally I softly said her name, hoping she would respond. Nothing.
Eventually I finished the glass, and then I realized I had to use the restroom, which turned out to be a little... awkward. The guard accompanied me to the restroom, went in first and looked around inside. Thankfully, once he was satisfied there was no one in there, he stood outside the bathroom while I did my business.
I was relieved to get back to my room, and back to my bed. I pulled the linens up to my chin; somehow... it just made me feel a little better to keep my... well, to keep the fact that I didn't have a left arm anymore covered up. But I knew that I wouldn't be able to "keep it hidden" forever. The hospital provided a sanctuary in some ways... if you were in these walls, you fit in if you were sick or... deformed somehow, or missing part of your flesh.
But out there... I'd be the weirdo without an arm. Then again... I doubt Shepard would care that I was missing an arm; she wouldn't treat me differently, would she? Abby and HK would wonder how it happened, but they wouldn't care either. They wouldn't treat me differently, I knew.
The next time the nurse came in to check on me, Kasumi must have slipped in, because as soon as the nurse left I felt that familiar presence by my bedside. "I made a few calls," she said. "You're on the priority list for a prosthetic and Thane's promised to watch for weirdos." I heard a sigh. "I need to go. There are... other things I need to be doing right now. I'll be back tonight. Look, C-Sec is going to grill you. I saw their men in the other room with the body, but I was able to pull Bailey on to the case. Be nice to him, he and Thane will keep you safe until I get back."
"Wait," I said hesitantly, "where are you going?" I was a little... surprised that she was leaving so quickly. "Oh and... thanks for everything you're doing," I added quickly. "I'll try to help Bailey." Okay, it really did feel weird talking to someone I really liked but couldn't see.
I heard something in Kasumi's voice I'd never heard before: exhaustion. "The past six months haven't been a cakewalk," she said. "I'm in the middle of something important - I can't explain it here, but Cerberus is involved. It's... delicate. They've almost gotten me more than once, but I'm not out of the game yet." I thought I heard her chuckle. "Don't die on me again - I'll be back. Promise."
I smiled in her direction. "I'll looking forward to hearing your voice again," I said. I couldn't say I'd be seeing her, since she had to be careful-and I hadn't seen her yet. "And um... just thanks for being my guardian angel in the other room."
I liked Bailey as soon as I saw him. He was pretty firm at times, but only in the way that all military men were. I could tell he had a good heart and he did have a gentle side, just as he did in the game. He asked me several questions, and then he asked me how I was holding up. He then gave me a pat on my good shoulder, and then he told me to take it easy. He left shortly after that.
And then I was served dinner by one of the nurses and left alone to eat it. It left me feeling agitated and lonely, and not just because the food tasted terrible. There were a bunch of things annoying me and worrying me... and the questions from Bailey only made it worse.
Just how did Cerberus know that I was here? How'd they find me, and how did they get in? I was under guard now, but the fact that Ceberus would attack the station at some point in the future didn't make me feel any better.
So who told them I was here? Kai Leng probably wasn't here yet, and the only other person I knew of who would be working for Cerberus was Udina...
...Udina...
No way. It just couldn't be.
Could it?
If that was somehow true, it was enough to scare the crap out of me.
I sucked in a deep breath, shoving my mostly untouched food aside. I didn't feel like eating that crap anyway. In fact, I was getting pretty sick of just sitting here and doing nothing. I didn't want to wait around for that prosthetic, and I didn't want to feel like everybody was babysitting me.
Didn't I spend enough time confined to one place on the Normandy, back during the mission against the Collectors? Sure, that had been... largely my fault. But right now, I was interested in trying to do something useful. I saved the hanar, I could do more... right?
But what exactly could I do? And how was I supposed to get past my guards? Thane would be especially difficult to get past... and I wasn't very good at this sort of thing.
I sighed. Well, if nothing else, I could get up and stretch my legs, right? Sure, Dr. Michel said that I should be getting plenty of bed rest, but I felt too agitated to stay in one place. I was bored, and if I couldn't be more useful, I wanted to get up and walk around.
I carefully got up and approached the door; it took me a moment to find the door mechanism. I was still trying to get used to having only one arm. When I found the release switch, the door opened and I saw the turian guard standing out there.
He turned to look at me. "Miss Sinclair," he acknowledged me. "Do you need something?"
"Yeah," I said, "I just want to get out of this room for a while. I'm gonna go stir-crazy otherwise."
The turian inclined his head. "Very well," he said with a little shrug, "but I'm ordered to accompany you whenever you leave your room."
Great. I was going to have a shadow. "Fine," I said with a little shrug.
Sure enough, he proceeded to follow me as I began to wander around the hospital. Part of me considered the idea of visiting Kaidan or something, but well... I didn't really want to bother him. He was probably still recovering, after all. And I was trying not to cause problems, right?
I ended up wandering into a different room, which had two asari in it. One of them was staring up at the ceiling as if seeing something far, far away that only she could see; it was as if her essence had withdrawn, leaving her eyes empty and her face expressionless. The other one was sitting upright in her bed, looking more bored than anything.
My turian shadow followed me into the room and did a quick glance inside. Then, apparently deciding that there was nothing out of the ordinary, he stepped back outside to guard the door. Apparently he was allowing me to visit the asari, though he was within earshot if anything should go wrong.
"Um, hi," I said, giving a little wave. "I'm uh... just passing through."
"Hi yourself," the asari who was sitting up said. "I'm Jylida. What's your name?"
"Sarah."
"Well, Sarah, what brings you in here?" Jylida asked.
"I'm bored," I said with a little shrug. "I just wanted to see who else was here." I chuckled a little. "Actually I want to get out of here, but they won't let me out," I said.
Jyilda chuckled a little as well. "Don't we all," she said. "I'm just waiting for my test results to come back."
Right that moment, as if someone had pushed an invisible button or said the wrong thing at the wrong moment, the other asari's face suddenly changed from blank to haunted. Her eyes began to dart around the room wildly.
"You...you look like one of them," the asari said, looking at me with a mortified look. "One of the husks that I fought. You could be turned into one of those things! You could turn on us at any time! Jylida, this woman could kill us!"
I gulped. Could she somehow sense that I'd used to be a husk? I knew that the asari who worked for the Rachni could recognize Shepard by her "aura" in Mass Effect 2... was this something similar? I started to wonder if I should leave the room.
"Aeian, calm down," Jylida gently but firmly told the other asari. "She's just a visitor; she's not going to hurt you or anyone else." Jylida then looked at me thoughtfully. "I doubt you could do much with only one arm anyway, honey," she commented at me.
"I only talk to asari. I don't want to be around humans," Aeian said, not in an angry way, but a calmer, almost depressed way. She seemed a little less anxious. "I need a gun. I want a gun."
"Aeian," Jylida said more gently, "you need to relax. I can call a nurse to get you a sedative if you want; it'll make you feel better."
"Putting me to sleep every time isn't going to help and you know it," Aeian said sharply.
"I can just go," I said, already turned toward the door. I didn't want to bother somebody who was obviously traumatized, and... I didn't really need to hear this right now.
"No, no, please stay," Jylida said. "I'm bored and I'd like you to visit, if you're willing to stay. Just... come around to this side of my bed, away from her, and sit down she can't see you."
I cast a quick glance toward Aeian, and then I slowly began to walk toward Jylida's bedside. There was already a chair there, as if she had frequent visitors.
"The last human I was around...I-I killed!" Aeian exclaimed, looking at me worriedly. "You should go. I'm dangerous, I can't be trusted. I could kill you!"
I slipped around to the side of Jylida's bed, and instead of sitting in the chair I sank down onto the floor, hoping to get out of Aeian's sight. Maybe she would forget I was even here.
"So uh... what're you in here for?" I asked conversationally.
Jylida shrugged. "Oh, I've been having some problems with my sex life," she said, as casually as if we were discussing the weather. "I'm not an Ardat-Yakshi, thank the goddess, but apparently I cause... problems whenever I sleep with someone." She frowned down at me as I sat huddled on the floor. "You probably don't even know what an Ardat-Yakshi is, do you?"
"Actually... I do," I said with a cough.
"Oh. Well anyway," Jylida pressed on without pause, "apparently I give people powerful orgasms whenever I sleep with them. The last one had an orgasm that was so powerful that he kicked me out of bed. I'm... very pleased that I can pleasure other species so much, but I'm getting tired of sustaining bruises and concussions over it." She sighed. "Unfortunately, the doctors haven't told me what's causing this yet."
This was... more information than I needed to know. I coughed again, awkwardly, after she stopped talking.
"I wanna get out of this hospital," I murmured before I could stop myself.
"I understand. I've been in so many therapy sessions... I just want to leave. I've asked them to transfer me... all I want is my gun," Aeian agreed, sounding a little more... friendly now. Just a little, but I could tell that she was still very emotionally removed from all of this. "I need my gun."
Since it seemed like Aeian wasn't going to freak out at me now, I got up off the floor and took a seat in the chair. "I really want to get out of here for a little while," I said to both of them. "But the hospital staff won't let me walk out. There's at least two people watching me right now-the turian guarding the door, and a drell." I didn't say Thane's name, since he probably wouldn't want it said.
"Ah," Jylida said. "I'd love to leave this place, though I really need to wait for my test results." She sighed. "What're you in for?" she asked.
"I was caught in an avalanche," I said. "Mostly... I'm just waiting for my arm, but... let's just say there's some other stuff going on, and C-sec won't let me leave."
"C-Sec?" Jylida raised her eyebrows high on her forehead. If she'd had any hair, they might have disappeared beneath her bangs. "My goodness, are you a criminal?"
"No, I have information that Cerberus wants." Ugh, I really hoped I wasn't saying too much.
"Oh," Jylida exclaimed. "Then you're the one who was in the middle of that ruckus earlier. Isn't it true that someone died in your room?"
I swallowed. "Yeah," I said.
"My, my. I'm not saying I want that to happen in my room, but it sure sounds like a step up from the boredom I face in here," Jylida remarked, and sighed wistfully.
"Was it a human that died? Did you...kill him or her? What did they look like?" Aeian asked, staring at me with that blank look.
"Uh, my friend killed her," I said meekly. I didn't want to talk about this, and I didn't want to stir her up, either.
I cleared my throat, and I tried to get the subject back on track. "Look um... can you think of any way for me to... you know, get out of here?" I asked quietly.
Jylida pursed her lips. "Hey, Aeian," she said, turning her head to look at her roommate, "you said you want a gun, right?"
"Yes! I need my gun...without my gun, I killed everyone...Hilary...I need my gun. It's the only way I can stop this!" Aeian exclaimed, a little more passionately.
"Then all you need to do is take it from the nice turian when he comes inside," Jylida said to her. "Get up out of the bed, and Sarah here will call him inside. Okay?"
Oh boy. I sure hoped I wasn't about to make things a lot worse in here...
"I can't take a gun from one of those turian...things. I couldn't, not on Tiptree," Aeian said, calmly, yet hurriedly and anxiously. "How can you expect me to do it here?"
"Look, I'll knock him on his ass with a biotic push, and then you can take the gun," Jylida said. "Then you can help us defend the hospital. Okay?"
...What was I getting myself into? Somehow I knew there was no turning back now, though. Jylida was very bored and looking for some excitement wherever she could get it. She actually seemed to be warming up to this plan more and more.
Aeian was silent for a moment. "Yes, yes...no more humans will die by my hand. No, no. I need my gun! I need it now!" she exclaimed. Jylida was really pumping her up about this.
Jylida grinned. "Good!" she said. Then she reached over and gave me a pat on the shoulder. "Get him in here, and stay out of my line of fire," she told me.
I hesitated, staring at her for a moment. Then I stood up and did the only thing I could think of; I screamed at the top of my lungs.
The turian barged into the room so quickly he almost didn't give the door enough time to open first. Once he was inside, Jylida released a powerful biotic wave that sent him crashing into the wall with just enough force to knock him out. His assault rifle fell from his grasp and clattered onto the floor.
"Get the gun!" Jylida encouraged her asari friend, with an almost schoolgirl delight. She practically giggled, which made me question her sanity a little.
Aeian darted for the gun, almost jumping for it, and she grabbed it. She looked fascinated with it, yet she still had that blank look on her face. "Finally...I won't have to kill any more people. Any more farmers. I...I won't have to go through that anymore. I can't let myself be a danger like that...I won't have to look at that nurse anymore...she looks so much like Hilary...I won't do anything to her or anyone else here..."
With that, all of a sudden, Aeian pointed the gun at herself... and she fired. Seconds later, she collapsed onto the ground.
I screamed again. Moments later, Dr. Michel and a couple of medical attendants rushed in. "What is-oh my God," Michel exclaimed, and immediately rushed to Aeian's side.
"She's bleeding-get the gun away from her!" one of the aides shouted.
"She just grazed the side of her head," I heard Michel say. I gulped, and I let out a gasp of relief as those words sank in. She wasn't dead... she hadn't killed herself... yet, at least. "Give me the gun!" I heard Michel say in a gentle, firm tone-and I heard the sounds of struggling.
Jylida was out of her bed by now, and somehow she seemed to be sober yet mildly enjoying the chaos at the same time. It was as if she was getting into a good television drama or something. Either she had been extremely bored, or she was simply nuts.
"Sarah," she suddenly hissed at me, pointing toward the door. "Go! Go, girl!"
I glanced at Michel and the medical aides; they seemed to be getting the gun away from the poor asari on the ground. I gulped, and decided that this was my chance to go.
However, just as I slipped out the door, I literally ran into Thane, pretty much smacking face-first into his chest.
"Sarah," the drell said, looking at me with a calm, yet very concerned, tone. "What is going on in there? What are you doing out of your room?"
I opened my mouth and then closed it again, stammering a little. Before I could manage a coherent sentence, however, I suddenly heard something that caused me to start-and even distracted Thane momentarily.
"Oh my, you never said that drell was a sexy beast," Jylida exclaimed as she rushed out of the room behind me. She then practically jumped on Thane, throwing her arms around him and pressing her lips against his cheek. She might have locked lips with him if he hadn't moved.
Thane quickly seemed to resist and began to throw Jylida off of him. "I am sorry, miss, but I am not here for these activities," he told her, as if trying to gently humor her. Perhaps he had to deal with these people more often than it seemed.
"Honey, I'll make your wildest dreams come true," Jylida said quietly, brushing her lips against his ear. "After I'm through with you, you won't know which way is up. And you won't care." She grabbed his crotch, hard enough to make his entire body stiffen in response. "Mine," she giggled.
I took that as my cue to slip away. As I hurried off, I could hear a little of their continuing struggle before I was out of earshot:
"I really do believe it would be best for you to return to your room..." I could hear Thane say as he continued to try to throw her off of him. Normally, Thane could probably break the woman's neck within an instant, but he had to be more gentle now. This wasn't one of his targets.
I couldn't help but laugh a little bit as I hurried away and left the inpatient wing. I knew that what was happening around me-the chaos I'd helped cause-was not funny, but I still had an evil, mischievous side. I figured they would all be okay, one way or another.
I knew I had to act quickly, before someone found me and put a guard on me again. Otherwise all of this would have been for nothing. I saw two C-sec guards at the main elevator, so I knew I couldn't go out that way.
What I ended up doing was going into a side room back in the inpatient wing, where a few corpses had been placed inside individual body bags. Apparently some of the patients, possibly war victims, hadn't been as lucky as others. Still, I knew that this was possibly my chance; I slipped into one of the empty body bags... and I just had to hope they wouldn't check inside, or zip it up. They were air-tight, after all.
About twenty minutes later the orderlies began to stack the body bags onto a large cart, or something, and wheel them out of the hospital. And that's how I made my great escape. I simply had to wait until I was out of the hospital, and until the orderlies were out of the elevator on one of the other levels... and then I slipped away from them when they weren't looking and made it back to the elevator.
I let out a huge sigh of relief as I hit the button to take me to the docks area, where the refugees would be. Okay, that had... gone more or less as planned. I simply focused on slowing my breathing and calming myself down while I waited for the elevator to arrive at its destination.
When I finally arrived, I exited the elevator and wandered into the refugee area. I felt like some kind of secret agent or something as I began to head down to the heart of the refugees, feeling quite smug at the way I'd slipped out of the hospital right under everyone's noses.
I was going to see if I could take care of one more job for Shepard. I saved the Hanar, so I should be able to do something more without screwing it up, right? It would help people out, and it would give Shepard one less job to worry about. The Commander would have enough on her plate as it was.
I was going to seek out Sayn the salarian, who was Jona Sederis's second in command in the Eclipse gang. Maybe if I could approach him and convince him to kill Sederis... well, Aria would be happy, if nothing else.
The only problem was... how was I going to convince Bailey to let her out? He would only listen to someone like Shepard on the matter, and she was not here. He'd have no reason to listen to me, even if I knew a lot about the future in this universe.
But I decided to focus on one problem at a time; find the salarian. Which turned out to be easier said than done, because the refugee area was very, very large-there were a lot more people here than I remembered in the game. I got lost several times, and my injuries distracted me and hindered my concentration. A few individuals gave me a helping hand though, and even tried to help me find the salarian. Maybe they thought I was a wounded soldier or something.
Eventually, with a little bit of help, I found Sayn. He was sitting in a fairly secluded area, with a couple of guards near him. I cleared my throat, and I was just about to approach him... when something happened that made me start.
Jona Sederis herself appeared out of nowhere, as if just arriving. She strolled right past me as if I wasn't there, and she approached her second-in-command, who rose as she approached. I swallowed, and watched their exchange from a not-so-safe distance-but they weren't paying attention to me anyway.
"Sederis!" Sayn exclaimed. "Bailey let you out? I thought-"
"Oh, please. That duct rat couldn't hold me; the Council ordered that he release me, and the old bag of bones couldn't keep me for long," Jona said, in her pompous, confident, almost diva-like tone that she used in the game. She rubbed the back of her head, as if trying to smooth her hair over...when she didn't have any. "And now I am back and ready to bring the Eclipse back to glory, and exact my revenge. Don't worry, Sayn, I'm ready to put you back on your leash."
Oh good gracious. Aria would be happy, but... I also knew that this wasn't good. And this was... different from the game. Or did I have it confused? Had Shepard already gotten around to this? Had she told Bailey to released Jona?
No... I refused to think that our Amelia Shepard would do something like that. Not the way she did things, not the way she thought. She was a woman of morals, for the most part. She wouldn't do that.
Every instinct in me told me to turn around and run. There was no reason to stay here now. And I should simply get back to the safety of the guards, at the hospital. This asari was not one to be trifled with.
But still... this meant that Aria would never bring up the Eclipse with Shepard, and so Shepard would never do anything, right?
I cleared my throat, not quite sure what I was doing. The nearby Eclipse guards were already looking at me. "Um, excuse me?" I said tentatively, almost timidly.
"Oh, Sayn, who is this?" Jona asked, irritated. "I told you not to get too trigger happy with the new recruits... What the hell!"
She motioned towards me, disgusted.
I flinched involuntarily. Then I scowled up at her. "Excuse me," I said, "I just wanted to talk to Sayn for a moment." I gave the salarian a meaningful glance.
"Me?" Sayn asked, blinking. He looked almost nervous, next to Jona.
Jona narrowed her eyes at me. "Excuse me? I'll have you know that I am the leader of Eclipse, and now, I have returned to my rightful throne. This spineless salarian is not in charge, nor was he ever in charge. Even from my cell, I have always called the shots, so however you were able to join my organization, I do not know, but you will speak to me, not him."
I cleared my throat. Then I focused my eyes on Sederis's chin, because... well, I knew that if I looked at her eyes, I would lose my nerve very, very quickly. "Why?" I asked with a little shrug. "I mean... he'd be even better at leading the Eclipse than you. Under his leadership the Eclipse would thrive, and all he has to do is shoot you in the back." I cast Sayn another meaningful glance, hoping he would take the hint. I just hoped he wouldn't require too much convincing.
Jona looked at me with a very, very insulted look. "Blasphemy!" she shouted. "This pathetic excuse of a man is just a tool, a tool to be used, and there is only one leader of Eclipse, and that is Jona Sederis. I have returned, and I am going to exact revenge on all of those who have gone after me. Perhaps you will make some good practice...your head will look so delightful on my living room mantle."
I gritted my teeth, looking at the salarian. He looked... a bit uncertain, but obviously frightened. He didn't look like he was going to make a move.
Maybe it was time for drastic action. I grabbed one of Jona's arms with my one and only arm, yanking her and making a feeble attempt to wrestle her to the ground-which did not work too well. "SAYN, SHOOT HER!" I yelled. "I'll help you!"
"You underestimate the utter power that I wield! No one would dare try to kill me, and anyone miserable enough to try, like you, obviously has nothing left to live for!" Jona yelled, immediately shoving me to the ground very forcefully, with the help of biotics. She grabbed a knife, and looked as if she was suddenly...very bloodthirsty. "Ohh yes...ohhhh yes. Your head will make such a nice start to my collection."
My eyes flew wide. In this instant, I realized that I should have left when I'd had the chance. Hell, I shouldn't have left my room at the hospital. I shrieked and scooted back from her just as she came at me, her blade directed at my throat. I managed to roll out of the way, kicking up at her the best I could-but then she caught my shin with one hand, and decided to attack my leg instead.
I screamed.
"Legs are no piece of art; they will not do for any mantle. You will pay even more for that!" Jona vowed, sticking her knife into my leg and cutting into it very deep...I could almost feel her using all of her strength to cut into it. Refugees and various others were now gathering around us, watching in horror, but I could barely focus on them because of the agonizing pain.
"Yes, galactic citizens, yes! Watch as Jona Sederis returns to all of her greatness, and as she takes her vengance upon those who have harmed her or her organization! Eclipse will pay back everyone that has ever tried to do us damage, just like this!" Jona yelled victoriously to the crowd, before driving her knife deeper into my leg. Blood was coming out eveywhere, and in the midst of all the pain, I could see her look at the blood and scoop some up in her free hand.
"Blood...oh how I have missed the sight of my enemies bleeding to death before me..." she remarked, continuing to shove the knife deep inside my leg.
"STOP IT," I shrieked, and I bit my lower lip so hard that I tasted blood in my mouth. My leg was becoming a mangled mess right in front of my eyes, and I was powerless to stop it. "Please," I added in a more pleading tone, "stop it..."
"Every Eclipse sister must commit a murder in order to get her full privledges," Jona hissed at me, looking...almost excited now. "It is what Eclipse is built on."
Then, I could see her charging up her biotics again, and all of a sudden...she sent them straight towards my leg, and I could feel the splitting pain of the bone shattering. "Yes, oh, yes! Scream and show that Jona Sederis does not take her enemies lightly, nor does she show mercy!" she exclaimed.
I couldn't hold back the scream this time. I felt excruciating agony; my leg, which had taken the full brunt of that biotic attack, now lay in ruins. My blood and torn bits of flesh were scattered all around me, and some of it was splattered on my clothes and even my face. Even my shoe, which still had what remained of my foot in it, was severely mangled and damaged. All that remained of my leg was little more than a bloody stump and some sharp, haggard pieces of cracked bone and dripping flesh.
The last thing I heard before I lost consciousness to pain and blood loss was the sound of a gun being fired.
I must have drifted in and out several times... at least that's what it felt like. I saw many things, and I must have had some strange dreams. I saw the husk spider as it lead me through a forest again, just it could lead me to my husk self where they both could attack me...
...And then I saw one dream where Erin, HK's dumb bimbo OC, had hijacked a Reaper and convinced them to gather up all the cutest men in the universe for her...
The first nightmare left me terrified and drained. The second one simply made me feel numb inside, as if my brain had oozed out of my right ear and drained all of my intellect.
When I finally regained consciousness, my entire body felt numb. There was an IV hooked up to my one and only arm, and I was staring up at the ceiling.
"Sarah," Dr. Michel's calm, soothing voice suddenly said. I didn't even know she was here, but I was still only just regaining consciousness. "How're you feeling? You've had a long day."
...Had a long day? I almost wanted to laugh and howl in frustration at the same time. Had a long day meant that I got stuck doing chores all day long. But this...
I saw that asari's crazed, bloodthirsty eyes flash through my mind again. I shuddered. A small sob escaped my throat as my eyes darted around the room, finally to settle on Dr. Michel's face.
"How did I get here?" I asked in a quiet voice. "Where is that bitch who attacked me?"
"She's dead," Dr. Michel said with a long, heavy sigh. She was silent for a brief second. "Tannor Nuara, the drell that you apparently know, found you in the refugee camp. He shot the asari, and killed her. He brought you back to the hospital, and that was about twelve hours ago."
It took me a few seconds to process that. Thane... she meant Thane, right? It had to be him... my mind was fuzzy so I wasn't thinking clearly at the moment.
"How... how bad was I hurt?" My voice cracked. Part of me really didn't want to know, and I didn't even want to look. Not yet.
"I can't lie to you, Sarah: You were not a pretty sight when you were brought in, and we tried to do the best we could with what we had to work with. Jona Sederis did not show much mercy on you," Dr. Michel admitted, in her kind, sweet tone, yet almost very bluntly. Then again, she was a doctor; that was how she had to give her patients news, for the most part.
I sucked in a deep breath, and then I used my one and only arm to lift the bed linen. I saw that I had only one leg; my right leg was gone. History. The area where it had been attached was bandaged up.
I dropped the linen back in place, and I squeezed my eyes shut. "Why was I so stupid?" I cried out, my voice cracking with an anguished sob.
"Sarah," Dr. Michel said comfortingly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Please. It was not your fault; if I were to be honest with you, I cannot condone what you did. You should not have left the hospital, but losing your leg like you did was not your fault. Many people would've done what you had done, and no one could have expected to find themselves in that sort of predicament with such a dangerous criminal."
I didn't answer. I simply stared up at the ceiling. Was all of this... really worth it? I had Reapers try to get into my head on Menae, I was threatened by Neyrata for my secrets, then I ended up in an avalanche where I lost my arm. After that, I did manage to save the Hanar, and I stopped Jona... but at what cost? I still no good at this, not as good as Shepard. And I never would be as good as her.
Not to mention the Illusive Man now wanted me. And he'd probably rip the information out of me, and either kill me or turn me into a husk or something.
And right now, I was in no condition to run or go anywhere. I was actually, finally stuck in one place. I'd need help just to go to the bathroom!
"Just leave me alone," I said in a dark, quiet tone, looking away from the doctor. I could feel myself slipping into depression.
"We have counselors and therapists on staff here. You have been through quite a traumatizing experience, from Meneae, then Cerberus, and now this. I know this isn't easy for you in the slightest, and I am dedicated to helping you through it. There is light at the end of the tunnel," Dr. Michel encouraged soothingly.
I didn't look at her. I barely even listened to her. I wanted to scream, I wanted to run far away past the edges of the universe if it meant I could escape... or just go home. Since I couldn't do that, I just wanted to withdraw into myself and escape from this unpleasant reality.
It was all my fault, wasn't it? Somehow, this was all my fault... just let the darkness take me if I could find some solace there.
"You have to push through this. That woman could've killed you, and yet you are still alive. That is something to be grateful for," Dr. Michel said. Once I didn't respond, I could hear her start to walk away. "I see you need time to yourself. I will check on you shortly."
The door opened, and she was gone. Several minutes passed, and my mood didn't change. Soon, in the midst of all of my thoughts, I heard the door open again.
"Sarah," a deep, very familiar voice greeted. I hadn't heard that voice in person in...a long time. "It is unfortunate that we have to finally reunite under such unfortunate circumstances, but I must commend your continuous survival."
I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled the linens up over my face. "I may as well be the walking dead the way I look right now," I moaned. "Or lying dead. Or whatever."
"You are alive, however. Still here, among the living, and that is something to be thankful for after everything that you have endured," Thane told me. I didn't know where he was, but right now I didn't really care to know. All I knew was that he was in the room. "I...am sorry I was not able to come to your aid sooner. I was searching for you, and was very lucky to come upon you when I did."
I said nothing. I could feel my chest rising and falling, and for a moment I simply listened to the sound of air going in and out of my nostrils. I couldn't think of anything to say; I didn't even want to say anything. I just... wanted to sleep, or something. To escape into a dream that was not haunted by husks, Reapers, or modified spiders.
Maybe that was why some people went insane. Reality was too much to handle.
"Your condition makes your current mental state understandable. I was informed of what happened on Menae, both by the hospital staff and Commander Shepard. I also know about Cerberus. You have been through far more than you were put through during our journey together on the Normandy. However, you are still here for a reason. There is still much that you can offer to this entire galaxy, notably at a time like this. I encourage you not to give up," Thane said to me, in his typical, calm, philosophical manner. It seemed that my silence hadn't deterred him at all.
You ever have one of those moments where it felt like... you couldn't keep your thoughts still, as if they were a whirlwind inside of you? Where you felt everything all at once, and then it just left you feeling like a numb zombie inside? Where there were so many things you wanted to say, and you wanted to scream in terror and yell angrily and cry your eyes out... but couldn't find any words to say, and you just lay there in complete silence, staring at nothing, looking for some kind of light at the end of the tunnel... but it just isn't there?
I threw aside the linens for no particular reason. It was an impulsive act. They ended up on the floor beside my bed. Why not? I was a crippled person now who was missing two limbs. Might as well not hide it anymore, not even from myself.
"It will take time, but you will heal. There are...many times when life seems hopeless, and you are ready to let your life end, yet one surprising moment seems to show you that there is more to live for. If this can happen to me, then I am confident that it will happen to you," Thane told me. "Whether you choose to believe me or not, it is true."
I closed my eyes again. I gasped softly, feeling my lungs expand and deflate almost painfully; it was getting harder to breath, and it had nothing to do with my injuries. Apathy... just made everything hurt, and everything in you seem strained. "You still have both arms," I pointed out in a whisper. "And both legs."
"There is one thing that you have that I do not: Years. I am reaching the end of my life; you, despite your circumstances, are not," Thane pointed out.
I was silent for a few long minutes. I felt it would be so easy to just... find a way to go home and escape all this crap. Yet somehow, I kept surviving all kinds of things this time when a single spider took me down last night.
Still... I suppose he was right. At least I wouldn't die of a lung disease anytime soon. But that didn't mean I felt particularly blessed by that fact at the moment.
I also knew that a replacement arm was coming soon... and maybe they would pull for a leg, too. If that happened, I'd be able to get up and move around soon. I guess that made me feel a little better, but... it wasn't anywhere near enough to get me out of my black hole.
"Thane," I whispered, finally looking at him, "does your omni-tool... connect to the extra-net?"
He nodded. "Yes, it does," he answered.
I... loved music. Very dearly. There was no way to deny it. My CD player had been my prized possession aboard the Normandy, the last time I'd been there. "If you could... find 'I'll Follow You Into the Dark' and play it on your omni-tool and play it... that would be great," I whispered.
"I will do so. I hope it gives you some comfort," Thane said, beginning to fiddle with his omni-tool a bit. After a couple of minutes, some kind of selection appeared from his omni tool, and the song began to play. "It is an old one, but I was able to find it."
I stared upward as the song that Abby once introduced me to began to play. She once said to me that it was about friendship and whatnot, but... I always felt like it was about that and more.
"Love of mine, some day you will die,
But I'll be close behind.
I'll follow you into the dark,
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white.
Just our hands clasped so tight,
Waiting for the hint of a spark.
"If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied
illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs,
if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
then I'll follow you into the dark.
"In Catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule,
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black.
And I held my tongue as she told me
'Son, fear is the heart of love',
So I never went back.
"If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied
illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs,
if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
then I'll follow you into the dark.
"You and me have seen everything to see,
from Bangkok to Calgary,
and the soles of your shoes,
are all worn down.
"The time for sleep is now,
it's nothing to cry about',
cause we'll hold each other soon,
in the blackest of rooms,
"If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied
illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs,
if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
then I'll follow you into the dark.
Then I'll follow you into the dark.
Then I'll follow you into the dark."
The song trailed off. I suppose... I felt something stir inside of me, something that seemed to... improve my mood a little. "Thanks," I murmured quietly.
"You have been given a second chance at life...in fact, now, a third, considering that you were believed to have died on Menae. More people were affected by your death than you realize," Thane told me. "I'd advise you to not let this chance go to waste."
"I think... I just want to sleep." I looked at him. "Would you... stay with me until I do?" I asked.
"Certainly," Thane replied with a small smile. "It is good to see you again, Sarah."
"Yeah... you, too," I said dully. Then I closed my eyes, and tried to relax.
I did not fall asleep, but I did slip into a... relaxed state, I guess you could say. I did not move, my eyes did not open, and it just seemed like my body was relaxing while my mind was still active. Whatever you called that state of being, it seemed to make Thane believe I was truly sleeping, especially since I did not move or stir as I began to hear... whispers.
"Hey," a familiar voice said-Kasumi. "How's she doing?"
"Depressed, but that is not surprising; the events have been traumautizing. However, by the time she fell asleep, her mood was already improving. I am far from a psychiatrist, but I will continue to watch over her," Thane replied softly to Kasumi.
"She's really been through a lot this time," Kasumi replied softly, with a sigh. "She should never have left this room, and I don't know how she did it. But... she's suffered enough for it, I think."
"I agree that she should not have left, but I also agree that now is not the time to focus on that. Her recovery will not be a short one," Thane remarked, still very calm, yet he almost sounded slightly regretful. "Are you going to attempt to procure a prosthetic leg for her?"
"Already on it," Kasumi acknowledged. Then she sighed. "I just hope she doesn't plan to lose any more limbs anytime soon; it's difficult enough to nab these things the way things are going."
"I believe she will be very wary of any situations that could cause her a major injury," Thane re-assured Kasumi. "However, simply interrupting a conversation between an asari and a salarian is not a usual way that one ends up losing their leg."
"Well, she's always been... an odd duck, as much as I like her," Kasumi commented, still keeping her voice low. "And I think part of her knew what she was getting into, otherwise she wouldn't have gone there. But I don't think even she foresaw this outcome."
"The leader of the Eclipse was well known to be psychotic, and fairly unstable and unpredictable," Thane commented. "However, as I told Sarah, she is fortunate that she is still alive. I am inclined to believe, no matter how odd the circumstances, that she and her friends are meant to be here at this time."
"Well, I don't have the same religious beliefs that you do," Kasumi replied, "but I will say that if nothing else... she has been incredibly lucky. So have her friends."
"I only hope that she can be reunited with them once she has finished her recovery," Thane said. "Have you contacted Commander Shepard?"
"Yeah," Kasumi acknowledged. "But I haven't gotten any reply yet. She may be busy or out of touch... or maybe she's not using that email address anymore."
"I sent her a message recently, and later, I met her here, and she informed me that she had received it. I am sure she will get here when she can; she is leading the galaxy in a war right now," Thane explained, though Kasumi likely knew all of this. "I wish I could join her on her journey again. There would be no greater honor, but it is not meant to be."
"You've done well for yourself, Thane. And... I'm not sure if it's intuition or a guess, but I think your part in all of this is not done yet."
"Nor is yours," Thane added. "It is fitting that we are reunited; we left the Normandy at the same time, and now we find ourselves drawn back here at the same time. It is ironic how fate works, even to me."
"Yeah. Keep your chin up. One way or another, everything will work out..." Somehow I got the impression she was glancing at me. "I hope."
Another pause. "Anyway," Kasumi added, "I need to get going. Watch out for her, okay?"
"I will. I will ensure that she does not escape again, though I doubt that she has any desire to," Thane assured Kasumi. "Be careful, Kasumi."
And that was when I drifted off to sleep.