A/N/: Another slice of life piece dealing with a parenting moment that you will hopefully find funny.

The Birds and the Bees

Akane knew it was time to give her daughter The Talk when she got her first period.

It was not something she was looking forward to.

Thankfully, Kimiko had two older brothers (who both went through a phase where they loved to run around naked) so she at least knew the difference between boys and girls. That was one hurdle down.

Kimiko was now 13, and the last of her friends to get her period. She was excited she had finally become a woman but less so when she realized that getting her period would force her to have the most embarrassing conversation ever with her mother.

After what seemed like an eternity her mother sighed and asked, "So…do you have any questions?"

Young Kimiko fiddled with the edge of her skirt nervously. She had so many, many questions and her desire to learn more was fighting with her desire to end the conversation quickly.

"Well…I heard that it…hurts for girls…is that true?" she asked quietly, not looking her mother in the eye.

"Yes, the first time will hurt but it doesn't last long."

"Does it hurt for boys too?"

"No, it doesn't."

"That's unfair."

Akane laughed at that. "It is, isn't it?"

"So, if it hurts why do it?"

Now it was Akane's turn to squirm.

"Well, like I said, it only hurts for a little while, then…then it feels…good." Oh, how she wished she could find a hole to crawl into. She took a deep breath and continued, "If you find the right guy, sex can be very enjoyable…

"I'm not going to tell you that you should wait for marriage," 'although I wish you would' she added mentally. "But I will say that sex is something that…that should be shared with someone you care for." Akane smiled as she thought of her first time and how awkward and wonderful it was because of whom she shared it with. "So I hope that you wait for someone who is good to you, who won't push you into something you aren't ready for, and someone who puts your needs before his."

Kimiko smiled at her mother. She was a little confused about the last bit but understood her mother just wanted the best for her.

Ranma knew it was time to give his sons The Talk because his wife told him to.

Ichigo and Renji sat opposite their father, their faces turning red when they realized exactly why their father wanted to talk to them. When he first asked to speak to them alone, they had been scared that he had discovered the hole in the wall caused from one of their "spars", which they hid with a poster. As their father started his speech, they hung their heads in embarrassment, now wishing their father had discovered the hole because that punishment would have been more merciful than this.

If Ranma had it his way, he would have handed his sons some condoms and been done with it. Lord knew it was more than his pop ever did for him, Genma had only ever taught him how to fight. But if he tried, he knew Akane would have seriously maimed him. And he had to admit that at 13 and 11, the boys would just be more confused than anything else. So he found himself in the most awkward conversation ever. Which for Ranma, was saying something.

After what felt like an eternity, he sighed, relieved that he was done.

"So…you guys got any questions?" Please say no, please say no. He watched as both boys shook their heads, avoiding eye contact. He sighed, relieved.

He was about to leave when suddenly he remembered Kodachi trying to kiss him on the roof, Ukyo offering to share a bed with him, and a naked Shampoo showing up during his bath, and knew he had to give them more than just the basics.

He rubbed the back of his neck and said, "Boys, your friends are gonna tell you that it's cool to have sex with as many girls as you can. And there's gonna be temptation…lots of temptation when you're older. I won't be able ta stop you from doing what you want." He of all people knew what teenagers could get into without their parents knowledge. "But I want you to be respectful of women. They got feelings and you gotta be careful with them."

He sighed when he saw the confused look on their faces. "You have a sister. Would you be happy if some guy hurt her?"

They both narrowed their eyes and shook their heads, bringing a smile to his face. His boys were always protective of their sister.

"Well then, think of the way you want her to be treated by a guy and treat girls the same way."

They nodded their heads seriously, no doubt still confused. He knew it was probably best to stop but he wanted to give them one last piece of advice.

"Just try to wait until you find the right girl before having sex. I promise A:you, you won't regret waiting."

"How do you know who the right girl is?" Renji asked curiously.

Ranma grinned as he remembered Akane smiling at him for the first time. How his heart sped up, his hands became clammy, and he suddenly couldn't speak. He shrugged his shoulders.

"You just know."

A/N: These two scenes don't occur at the same time, they are just summaies of what happened when Ranma and Akane had their talk with their children.

The inspirations for my one shots come from a lot of places, sometimes what I read and others from my personal life. My son is now 10 and will be getting a health class this year explaining sex generally. I know that after that I will have a more indepth conversation with him about it. I've been thinking about how to handle it for a while now. Oh, the joys of parenting.

Ranma's response is inspired by my husband. I know that if he could get away with it (and he can't), he would really love to do nothing more than to hand my son a box of condoms.