He's Not You

Summary: The addition of Shafiq to the group creates tension between Rick and Daryl. Takes place after "Made To Suffer" (season 3 episode 8) Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing, Slash, Drug Use.

The next morning Daryl awakens to the bright light shining in the windows of the prison. He sits up in his small bed thinking about all the fuss that the group made over Shafiq yesterday. He stands up and stretches his back then slowly makes his way to the prison's shower room. As he walks past Rick's cell he peeks in to see him sleeping peacefully. He watches for a moment intently as Rick's chest slowly rises and falls. He is shirtless, the bandage still covers most of his chest. He feels a desire to wake him. To ask Rick if he wants to shower with him but he fights the urge and lets Rick sleep. Daryl stands in the shower waiting for Rick. Hoping, wishing that Rick will join him like the last time they showered together. Daryl has held onto that moment. Sometimes he feels like he's held onto it so much that it's been what has kept him alive. He stands facing the wall directly under the shower head while his mind drifts to thoughts of Rick. His soft hair, his blue eyes, his leadership. He thinks that Rick will never truly belong to him. He's never really experienced love in his life, it's always been elusive, always slipping through his fingers. And now he feels with Rick it is no different. He pushes his feelings for Rick to the back of his head because if he goes one more moment with it he'll cry. He places both hands on the wall and enjoys the feeling of the warm water rushing over his body. A song from his adolescence suddenly pops into his head and he inadvertently breaks into song. "I wanna live." He sings, doing his best Neil Young impersonation. He suddenly hears a voice from behind him continue the song. He turns around to see Rick.

"I wanna give." Ricks slowly sings as he walks up to Daryl without a stitch on, finishing the verse. His shoulder still bandaged. The two men gaze into each others eyes as the steam from the water envelops them.

"I've been a miner for a heart of gold." Daryl sings, finally finishing the chorus looking at Rick grinning.

Rick's blue eyes sparkle as he reaches out and pulls Daryl towards him out of the shower spray. "You're my heart of gold." He says and he softly kisses him on the lips.

Daryl smiles, "Come get in here with me." He says as he pulls Rick's arm.

"I can't get the bandage wet."

Daryl looks at the bandage, pondering for a moment,"That's okay we'll just get creative." He moves the shower head and points it at Rick's crotch. They both laugh as the water hits Rick's body, the water running down his legs. His body hair wet and slick to his skin. Here, stay like that Daryl says as he approaches Rick and washes all the areas he can with a bar of soap. "This turning into a regular thing? You washing me?" Rick says laughing.

"I don't know. I guess if you keep getting hurt."

"I won't get hurt anymore. I have you to protect me." He runs his hand over Daryl's chest. The two men stand facing each other. Daryl looks into Rick's eyes. "I could stay here all day with you like this Daryl"

"Me too buddy" Daryl says as the steam from the hot water rises above their heads. They look into each others eyes.

"Give me that." Rick says playfully as he breaks their gaze and grabs the bar of soap from Daryl's hand. He lathers his friend's chest up. "I'm gonna wash you for a change." He says jokingly, being careful not to let the water hit his bandage. The two men jump suddenly when they hear someone enter the communal shower. They both look up startled to see Shafiq standing naked holding a folded towel in his hands.

"Where can I hang this?" He asks.

"There are hooks by every shower head." Rick says as he motions to the wall.

Shafiq walks forward hangs his towel on the hook right next to Rick and Daryl's and turns on the hot water. He was not shocked by what he saw. He sensed that the two men were close friends. He had friends like that in college. He felt a sadness remembering everything he lost.

Rick and Daryl look at each other and continue their shower like nothing happened. They both talk with Shafiq. Asking him questions. Shafiq didn't mind answering, telling the two men about his former life. Rick flashes Daryl an evil grin. It's a signal to Daryl, letting him know they will continue their escapade later. Rick looks over at Shafiq noticing his fit body. His skin is a beautiful brown, his muscular chest covered in a thick mat of black hair. It glistens as the soapy water runs over it and down past his six pack abs. He is a stunningly handsome man. Just as handsome as Daryl he thinks to himself. But in a different way. Daryl notices Rick staring and turns his shower off. He covers himself with his towel and slowly walks out of the room leaving Rick standing all alone with Shafiq. "Isn't it hard not to get the bandage wet?' Shafiq asks

"It's not that bad, I have help from Daryl" He says pointing to the now empty space beside him.

"I can help with your backside if you like" Shafiq says looking into Rick's sky blue eyes.

Rick can't deny he feels a burning desire inside himself for this man

"Sure," Rick says as he hands Shafiq his bar of soap. Shafiq gingerly soaps up Rick's back being careful not to get any on his bandage. He slowly moves down to Rick's buttocks washing it carefully. Rick breathes in as he takes pleasure in Shafiq's touch. Rick turns around and faces Shafiq. His excitement is noticeable. His body loves the sensations but he just can't do this. Shafiq reaches out and gently wraps his fingers around Rick's manhood. It throbs and leaks fluid in Shafiq's hand. Rick suddenly grabs Shafiq's wrist stopping him from going any further. Shafiq looks into his eyes like a puppy being scolded.

"I'm so sorry Shafiq. I want to, I really do. But my loyalty is with Daryl. I care about him so much…. more than I've cared about anyone in a long time. He's very special to me."

"I understand" Shafiq says with an acknowledging look in his eyes. He knows the feeling.

Rick slowly backs away from Shafiq. He wraps a towel around his waist and leaves the shower room to look for Daryl.

Rick approaches Daryl's cell to find Daryl dressing, putting his arms through the hols of his sleeveless shirt. "Why'd you leave buddy?" He asks, half afraid of the answer.

"You and Shafiq!" Daryl says as he buttons up his shirt. A noticeable tinge of jealousy and sarcasm in his voice

"Daryl it's not like that. I guess I just feel a connection with Shafiq. It's hard to explain.

"What about our connection?" Daryl asks

"What about it? It never went away buddy." Rick says reassuringly as he strokes Daryl's sleeveless arm. "Daryl, look at me. Nothing happened and nothing's gonna happen." He continues to touch his friend "It's you that I care about. Hell man you've been so loyal to me how could I even think about doing it with anyone else? You've helped me with the baby...and Carl. I won't ever forget that."

Daryl looks into his friend's eyes and he knows it's true. Rick is the most sincere and noble man he's ever met. He loves him for that. "Hell, I know Rick, I just…." He looks into Rick's deep blue eyes and the pain in his voice is palpable " I just can't help but be jealous is all."

"Daryl trust me, you have nothing to be jealous of."

"He's a good lookin guy" Daryl says admittedly

"Yes he is but there's something he doesn't have."

"What's that?" Daryl asks

"He's not you."