Caesar cursed Zorro and Franky.
The swordsman for putting him into this state and the shipwright for making him greet the day.
Caesar had tried to stay curled on his sleeping pad this morning. To keep walking in the mists of his dreams, an illusion of where he longed to be. Once more, the master of a sprawling dark lab and exploring the frontiers of knowledge. The pain of his body and the Straw Hat crew, a faint but unpleasant specter in the shadows.
Franky wouldn't allow it.
The metal mountain had easily picked Caesar up and out of his sleeping spot and dumped him on the horribly sunny deck.
There, Franky had lectured him about how it was important to rise and greet the super sun and prepare to make the most of a super day to glowering Caesar.
Caesar was then caught up in the chaos that was the Straw Hats. Rigging and course adjustments. Deck swabbing. Rope inventory. Fishing lines set. Laundry. Finally, breakfast was served.
In an almost zombie like state from the farthest perch he could find, Caesar watched the show that was breakfast unfold.
The women laughed amongst themselves, enjoying a relaxed meal under Black Leg's watch. Loud whines issued from the captain's stuffed cheeks when the cook stomped on wandering rubber hands. Chopper's requests for cotton candy pancakes fell on deaf ears. Zorro wolfed down the large pile of food on his plate, arm curled about the dish defensively and butter knife held in a threatening manner towards the Captain.
To Caesar's disappointment, the rubber boy didn't try to take the swordsman's food.
The marksman attempted to regale Franky and Brooke of past adventures. Foolishly neglecting his plate in favor of taking a dramatic pose. Standing with one foot up on a chair and an arm raised in a heroic fashion. Both Cyborg and Brooke listened to the story. Brooke was enthralled and the shipwright seemed interested, but dubious. After each tale, there would be a round of applause and the Red Harpy would speak up. She would say in which volume of the log books that tale was recorded, just in case they wanted a more detailed version of Long Nose's retelling. The marksman would pout at the beautiful redhead in response. A coy smile would grace her face as she pointed at his now empty plate. The sniper's food forever lost to the abyss that was his Captain's stomach.
Black Leg would reload the plate, along with false threats of this being the last portion. Then the cycle would repeat.
Caesar could feel his IQ dropping and he bemoaned the loss.
His eyes flitted from one happy face to the next. How could they delude themselves to this degree? Why did they think what they had was real and not a temporary illusion? There was no evidence. No aligned goals to ensure a lasting partnership. It didn't add up.
However, the happiness that frolicked about the room couldn't be denied.
Pure insanity...
He suffered though breakfast at his end of the bar. Refraining from moving so his aching muscles didn't scream. Glaring hellfire at any Straw Hat that ventured too close.
Finally, the lot of them left. Black Leg, remaining and clearing out the mess.
Caesar gratefully collapsed on the counter, treasuring the rare moment of peace. Knowing that it was only a matter of time before one of the Straw Hat's remembered he existed and came to collect him.
His body throbbed and the shackles bit into his wrists but the bar counter was nice and cool. He could hear the clanks of tableware and splashes of water as Black Leg moved about and worked in his domain. Expelling chaos and restoring the pristine elegance that was his kitchen.
It wasn't as good as sleeping, but it was still nice. Time to himself in relative quiet. A luxury.
He wasn't sure how long he got to enjoy the peace, but it came to an end when he heard Black Leg tisk disapprovingly in front of him.
Maybe Black Leg would go away if he pretended to be asleep.
Caesar stayed hunched over the bar and prayed for the cook to go away.
Silence stretched out and Caesar smelled cigarette smoke getting thicker in the air about him. Caesar mentally cursed.
He peaked over his folded arms and saw Black Leg leaning on the other side of the counter from the pale man. His gaze half lidded and cool. A cigarette hung loosely from his lips, ember at the end dimly glowing.
Between the two men sat a tall cup.
The cook made a slow but elegant gesture towards the cup.
"You didn't finish this. It's still half full." The blond man let his words hang in the air.
Caesar furrowed his brow and glared at his cup. This morning's beverage was some sort of lemon, celery, apple and other various greens concoction. The cook had announced the name of the drink but Caesar hadn't bothered to remember it.
He hadn't felt like drinking his meal today.
Caesar ignored the unasked question and gave Black Leg a glare.
The cook met the pale man with an half lidded gaze and responded by pushing the cup towards the horned man.
Caesar gave the cup a sullen look and glanced up towards Black Leg.
The cook responded by leaning back and taking a long drag of his cigarette. His posture settled with a box of cigarettes in hand, ready to replace the current cigarette. Black Leg stayed put, slowly smoking and watching the horned man.
Caesar weighed his options.
He could put up a fight. He'd enjoy giving the cook some well deserved grief but there would be a price. The cook would give as good as he got and could call in reinforcements like Franky or, he shivered, Brooke.
The horned man sighed in defeat and reached for the cup.
Black Leg smirked and Caesar mentally railed at the cook.
Caesar slowly drank his breakfast and Black Leg busied himself with wiping down the already spotless counter.
Silence sat moodily between the two men.
Caesar was once more enjoying the silence, glad the Straw Hat was quiet.
"So why do you look like death warmed over today?" The cook asked.
Caesar snarled at the cook but said nothing, choosing instead to drink the last of his beverage and slam the cup down in front of Black Leg.
The cook seemed to study the angry mess before him and then chuckled.
"Moss head work you over that much? Huh, I owe Nami fifty belli." Caesar bristled.
"You two… made a bet?" He slowly ground out and Black Leg shrugged in response.
"We did. I figured Zorro would ignore you and she bet that you'd get beat to a pulp." Caesar grit his teeth and glared at the cook. The blond huffed with amusement.
"Don't be so angry, it means you did something right for once." Caesar sputtered with outrage.
"What do you mean 'for once'!? I'm the genius here!" Black Leg gave him a flat stare and was about to respond when the galley door slammed open.
The captain came bounding in like a child on far too much sugar.
The rubber lad slid to a halt, large eyes sweeping the kitchen. The search stopped when he saw Caesar and the pale man felt dread pool at the bottom of his stomach.
The doors swung open again and the captain's two primary lackeys came in.
Chopper and Long Nose ran in after their leader.
"CAESAR!" The rubber boy shouted as he bounded over to the horned man's side.
Caesar was praying, to any and all gods, to make the rubber horror leave.
The reason why his lab was in ruins, why his plans had been dashed, why he now was in chains... stood at his side, bouncing in place, with a skull splitting grin.
Black Leg abandoned cleaning the counter and leaned back onto his heels to observe.
Caesar tried ignore the rubber boy, choosing to stare straight ahead instead.
Maybe for the first time in his life, a prayer would be answered.
"CAESAR!" Straw Hat shouted in his ear again.
The horned man flinched away while massaging his ringing eardrum.
By this time Chopper and Long Nose had caught up and flanked their Captain on either side. The marksman looked unsure and nervous. Chopper stood by with a smile, seemingly hopeful.
This reminded him of his old days, when he occasionally got caught in alleys, a squad of thugs leering down at him and a beating in his near future.
This wasn't going to end well he predicted and the pale man marshaled his will.
"What do you want Straw Hat?" Caesar spat with venom.
Everyone but the rubber boy frowned at the malice but the Captain continued to grin.
"You can fly right?" the boy asked enthusiastically and Caesar's eyes narrowed with suspicion.
"... I can." He didn't think it was possible, but the rubber boy's face lit up even more.
"Caesar! Take me flying!" The boy grabbed his wrist and proceeded to try and drag the pale man towards the deck.
Caesar's face contorted with fury.
He locked his legs and fought against the rubber grip but, while in the seastone cuffs, he was no match against Straw Hat. His shoes squealed as they dragged over the wood planks, leaving scuff marks for the cook to buff out later.
"Oi! Oi! Luffy! Stop! You can't just drag him about like that!" Long Nose sputtered at his Captain.
The rubber lad stopped and looked back, grin frozen in place. His eyes flicking between the marksman and Caesar.
"Eh? He's taking me flying!" He beamed towards the marksman and the latter hid his face in a palm.
"Luffy… look at him. He doesn't want to go." This made the rubber boy's smile waver.
Meanwhile, Caesar was trying his best to pry the rubber hand off him. His hands clawing at the grip on his wrist. He didn't have enough strength. He now was using his teeth to chomp down on an offending finger and pull.
Just as the finger stretched out, the rubber boy pushed his face into Caesar's. This made the horned man flinch away and accidentally release the rubber digit.
The finger snapped back to his wrist and Caesar yelped in pain.
No one seemed to take notice of Caesar's plight.
"You don't want to go flying?" The Captain asked in a slow and confused tone.
"With you?! Hell no! Over my dead body! No!" Caesar snapped as he now tried to use the edge of the bar to scrape the rubber hand off.
"But flying looks like so much fun! I can bounce up high and that's fun! Flying must be even more fun! Let's go!" Caesar was about to snarl back when Black Leg spoke up.
"Why not Caesar? It'd keep Luffy occupied for a bit and out of my hair. I'll make it worth your while. I'll set aside five strawberries for you tonight if you do." That made Caesar pause.
Those berries were his favorite. Also, this was an opportunity.
"Make it ten note books, writing implements and thirty strawberries and I'll do it." Black Leg didn't even pause to consider a rebuttal.
"Done." With that the blond smirked and exhaled a stream of smoke.
Caesar blinked at the cook as his hands continued to absentmindedly to try and pry the rubber hand off his arm. He had expected some hard negotiation.
"I have the berries on hand. The notebooks, I'll have to check with Nami to see what's in inventory. If we don't have ten spares, you'll get them next time we resupply. Have fun with Luffy." Black Leg smoothly explained while wearing a smile and Caesar snarled back.
Damn it. He could have demanded much more.
The captain whooped with joy and resumed dragging Caesar onto the deck.
He tried to put up a fight, but Staw Hat dragged him about like a rag doll.
Chopper cantered along side on four legs, smiling, chattering to his captian about what a shame that even though clouds looked like cotton candy, they didn't taste like it. The Captain laughed back with a grin.
The marksman dashed after as well.
"Oi! Luffy! I was just joking! Just because he can fly doesn't mean it's a good idea! What if he drops you or something? Luffy!" The rubber lad ignored the marksman and instead agreed with the deer, though insisted that meat flavored clouds would be the best.
Caesar continued to fight Straw Hat unsuccessfully. Sure, he had agreed to flying but he could walk by himself damn it.
He wasn't some toy to be dragged about.
The Captain bounded over to the center of the deck, Caesar a ruffled snarling mess at his feet. Wide happy eyes swept the deck and landed on the helm. The rubber boy waved energetically.
"NAMI! Over here! Nami!" The Captain shouted and the Bitchess looked away from the horizon while grasping the ship's wheel.
She took a moment to gauge the sky and then locked the wheel. Setting the Sunny's course.
The sun gleamed down and made the cascading red tresses gleam like strands of the finest copper. Amber eyes regarded the Captain with a fond joy. Pale skin glowed in the light, exposed by scant attire. Her massive bosom bounced with each step, threatening to burst free from the skimpy top. Her hips swayed with a passive seduction as the Red Harpy approached.
As much as he hated her, he couldn't deny that the self-righteous slut was a beauty.
The Bitchess came closer, and her perfect face was marred with a frown when she noticed the horned man in a jumble at the rubber boy's feet.
"Luffy, why is Caesar with you? It's Sanji's shift isn't it?" The rubber boy grinned in response.
"He's going to take me flying! Uncuff him!" The Captain suddenly lifted the white wrist he was holding toward the Red Harpy, causing Caesar to slide forward a few inches.
By this point Caesar was attempting to right himself while he glared at his surroundings and dreading what was to come.
The Bitchess blinked in confusion. Those full lips tightening with disapproval and delicate hands curling into fists on her hips.
"Luffy! That's a bad idea! He'll drop you into the ocean!" Caesar snarled at the accusation.
He was about to retort but, the suave voice of Black Leg carried over.
"It's alright Nami-swan. I've made it worth this bastard's while to cooperate." Caesar turned to look behind him.
Black Leg was closing the distance between them with a leisurely walk.
Long Nose was shaking his head and attempted to appeal to his Captain.
"Luffy! Come on, this is a terrible idea! He hates us! What's to stop him from attacking us?" The rubber boy laughed.
"It's fine Usopp! If he tries anything, I'll just beat him up again!" Caesar glanced at Chopper, expecting him to speak up against the purposed violence.
Instead, the little deer was grinning and clapping his hooves together.
"Yeah! I have plenty of bandages in stock! I wanna go flying too!" Caesar shot the deer an incredulous look.
"Nami, do you mind if we review the materials and food inventory early? I promised Caesar some notebooks for this." With that, Black Leg sent one of his more charming smiles to the woman.
The Bitchess regarded the lot through narrowed eyes.
Eventually, her chest bounced as she sighed.
"Fine! Stay here, I'll be back with the key and leggers." She turned on her heel and made her way to the aquarium.
Caesar stared intently after her. Looking to see if she would turn left or right at the door.
Knowing that would make looking for his key easier later.
The Red Harpy had almost reached the door when a steel toed shoe connected with Caesar's head.
Caesar yelped and clutched his newest injury.
"Don't stare at Nami's ass you perv." The cook still had his foot partially raised, threatening Caesar that there was more to come if he disobeyed.
"I wasn't looking at her ass!" Caesar snarled.
"Don't lie to me." With that the cook shifted focus. "Usopp, do you mind getting Franky and helping with reviewing inventory?"
Long Nose gave his Captain one last apprehensive look before sighing and nodding to Sanji. With hands shoved in his pockets, he made his way towards the sound of pounding metal, the brig.
Straw Hat was beaming at his crew's exchanges. Once the marksman was out of sight, he resumed debating the theoretical virtues of cotton candy and meat clouds with Chopper. Black Leg abstained, though he occasionally hummed in ascent or descent when something notable was said.
Caesar felt his brain melting.
First of all, cotton candy or meat clouds were impossible. Second, they wouldn't stay airborne. Thirdly, they would be contaminated with all manner of debris or rotten, thus inedible. Therefore, the whole conversation was a monumental waste of time.
Caesar kept these thoughts to himself.
He didn't feel like getting another kick just then. His head still hurt from the last one.
It seemed that Straw Hat had forgotten that he still had Caesar's wrist firmly grasped.
Like a surly dog on a leash, Caesar tugged Straw Hat's arm every few moments, testing to see if the grip had loosened at all.
It didn't loosen and Caesar was doomed to listen to the maddening drivel that came out of Straw Hat and Chopper.
The conversation had progressed to the discussion of various flavors and their relative superiority to one another by the time Red Harpy returned. In her arms she balanced several ledgers.
In the time it took to draw a breath, Black Leg was at her side and taking the burden of the books from the petite woman.
She gave the cook a grateful smile that made the cook's knees go weak. The man was swooning dangerously, threatening to topple over, as she turned away.
Where Red Harpy withdrew the key, from where, Caesar couldn't say. Her tiny shorts had no pockets and he couldn't see where else she could have stored it.
He was jarred out his thoughts when Straw Hat dragged him forward.
"Hurry Nami! Flying! We're gonna fly!" The rubber boy bounced in place and the Bitchess did as asked.
The cuffs came off and Caesar didn't even get a moment to enjoy the freedom.
Straw Hat immediately clamored up onto his back. The boy shouted with glee and Caesar grimaced at the volume.
Then Straw Hat dug his heels into Caesar's sides, like how one would urge a horse forward.
Anger took the helm and Caesar slowly looked over his shoulder
He glared at the large innocent eyes inches away from his own.
He was going to make Straw Hat rue this day.
Caesar crouched and launched himself into the air as a predominantly gaseous mass. Only his upper torso and head remained semi-solid and Straw Hat clamped down on Caesar.
He rapidly gained altitude and speed. Straw Hat's shouts of joy only grew louder.
Caesar was designed for flight. The wind that whipped by at breakneck speeds didn't sting him nor make his eyes tear.
At last, they were scores of meters above the ocean's surface, high enough that Straw Hat's crew looked like little figures on a toy ship.
A wicked smile bloomed on Caesar's face and he nose dived. Speeding straight for the unyielding deck.
Faster and faster they fell, the deck of the Thousand Sunny rushing towards them.
Any moment now, Caesar expected the cries of joy to turn into fear and pleas to pull up.
Instead the boy released grip on his shoulders and threw his arms above his head.
"YEAAAAAAAHH! FASTER! FASTER!" Straw Hat shouted.
Caesar pulled up, deck only feet away. He skimmed along the deck, weaving around various crew members and obstacles. He barely got enough height to clear the orange grove.
He distantly heard the shouts of the Red Harpy over the rubber boy's laughter.
Something about skinning him and her orange trees. He rolled his eyes, they were just trees. If one was damaged, just buy a new one. Hell, maybe branch out a little and buy some apple trees?
They reached a cruising altitude and the boy was still laughing like a madman.
Alright, fear of going splat was lost on the Captain. Caesar gave the mast and the rigging a measured look.
Caesar smirked and dove. Hitting critical speed again but, this time, he spun around the masts and wove between the rigging. He took care to take turns as sharply and quickly as possible.
Most of the time, Caesar didn't have a stomach, or much of one, to lose thanks to his fruit. The smirk grew as he recalled the mountains of food Straw Hat had eaten for breakfast. He was going to enjoy every second of the rubber boy's nauseous face.
The surroundings became a blur and Caesar focused on not crashing or spinning out of control.
Eventually, Caesar slowed and climbed in altitude again. He was panting from exertion. The wicked smirk fell away when he felt bubbles of laughter behind him.
"THAT WAS GREAT! DO IT AGAIN!" The rubber horror shouted with glee.
Caesar frowned and mulled over his next course of action.
A wicked grin appeared once more and Caesar made a point of flying even higher, well out of earshot of the other crew.
"Straw Hat, do you know what would make flying even more fun?" Caesar waited for the giggles to die down as he flew in lazy circles.
"Huh? What? Stopping by Sanji for some meat? Yeah! Let's do that! GO! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!" Caesar threw a heated glare over his shoulder.
"NO YOU IDI- ahem, no. No, Straw Hat. Though that is a good idea… if I do say so myself... What I'm willing to tell you is a flying secret. You'll feel every turn and dive a hundred times more! It's even better than meat! Do you want to hear it?" Stars appeared in those large eyes.
"A flying secret!? Better than meat!? Tell me! Tell me!" Caesar felt the boy bounce in excitement.
"Keep your arms above your head for the whole flight. By doing that, you'll feel every dive and turn much more!" Caesar gave the boy his best friendly smile.
If the idiot went along with it, Caesar was fairly confident that he could make Straw Hat fall off him.
Preferably into the ocean.
When that happened, he'd have to put his all into looking apologetic to the crew.
Really, how was it his fault that Straw Hat couldn't hold on correctly and fell off?
The Captain hummed, arms folded over his chest and brow furrowed. It went on for a while.
Caesar was starting to tire of the display and was about to demand an answer when the boy laughed.
"Ok! Ok! Let's try it! You said it's better than meat! Let's go!" A wicked grin manifested on Caesar as he waited for the boy to comply.
The moment Straw Hat raised his arms up, Caesar shot off.
He rose even higher above the Sunny and it quickly got colder. A relief to the pale man. After his fruit, he had become more inclined to the cold.
The Sunny was now tiny, the crew on her just tiny specks.
Caesar, without warning, executed a loop-de-loop.
He had expected a scream from shock, or a falling Straw Hat.
Instead the boy yelled in delight with his arms still up.
Caesar huffed, alright, how about this?
He began to do barrel rolls, one after the other. Some going left others going right.
The yells of amusement didn't cease and Caesar ground his teeth.
He began to zig-zag, in addition to loops and rolls. Performing every flight maneuver he knew at his fastest speed.
The boy only cheered him on harder and grinned so wide that all his teeth gleamed in the sun.
Finally, Caesar slowed, panting and scowling.
All of that, and Staw Hat still stuck to him like a leech. Rubber legs clamped down on his torso in a vice grip. Shouts telling him to do another loop or roll filled the air.
Caesar slowed to doing lazy circles once more and the Captain shook his shoulders.
"Hey! Why are you slowing down? That was fun! Keep going!" The boy beamed down at him.
Caesar responded with a flat stare and an even slower speed.
He wasn't sure how long he'd been flying for, but he had been maintaining top speeds for an extended period. That, combined with the beating Zorro had given him, was stretching the pale man thin. True, his devil fruit being active dulled the strain and exhaustion by a significant degree but he knew pushing himself further would be unwise.
The rubber boy shook his shoulders again.
"Hey! Why are you going so slow!" Caesar's lips curled.
"Because I can Straw Hat! That's why!" The boy pouted in response.
"But that's not as fun! Go faster!" All of his being tensed with irritation. Hands clenched, teeth ground and eyes narrowed.
Then Straw Hat dug his heels into Caesar's sides again and, for just a moment, he saw nothing but red.
Becoming a glorified mount wasn't all that far from being a slave. Sure, this was an exchange of services for goods, but he still hated it.
"Straw Hat, if you dig your heels into me a third time, I swear I am going to drop you into the ocean. To Hell with what your crew has to say about it. Do it again and…" He let his words trail off as he looked back into Straw Hat's eyes.
"I. Will. Drop. You." There was no quick retort from the boy.
That ever cheerful face was clouded with confusion. Large eyes closely inspected the pale man's face.
Quickly growing uncomfortable with the inspection, Caesar looked forward.
"I do that with Chopper when we run around, and he doesn't mind." Caesar growled.
"Do I look like an animal Straw Hat? The answer is no. I am not an animal. So don't do it again."
"Chopper is not an animal, he's my namaka." The boy stated and Caesar snapped back.
"He has fur, hooves and antlers. He's a deer. Intelligent and sapient, but clearly an animal." A rubber hand reached out and wigged one of Caesar's horns, by extension making the attached head wobble.
"STOP THAT!" Caesar screeched as he yanked his head forward, out of the boy's grasp, and the Captain only laughed in response.
"You have horns too!"
"I wasn't born with horns you idiot! My fruit gave me these! I'm human!"
"Human, but heartless." Caesar felt his hair bristle and looked back.
"AND WHO'S FAULT IS THAT?! YOU AND THAT BASTARD LAW TOOK IT!" He shouted at the boy.
The Captain was quiet for a second. The ever present grin was now a line.
"The heart we took was a dead one."
"It was not! We both saw it, it was beating even outside my chest." Caesar continued to cruise in slow circles. Occasionally flying straight to catch up to the Sunny.
"Nope." The boy stated as he leaned over one side of Caesar to look below.
"Oooo! Look!" Caesar rolled his eyes in response.
He cast his gaze downward to see what the boy was babbling about. There, in the waters a good distance from the Sunny, swam a large beast.
It was a long body with a long neck as well, covered in a mix of scales and feathers. Colorful spines started the head and went down the spine. The long whip-like tail was covered in sharp bony ridges. Two humanoid like limbs sprouted from the shoulders, ending in four webbed, long and thin digits. These distorted arms had the monster cutting through the waves with each mighty stroke. It had a head like a horse but it ended in a massive serrated beak.
Huh, a Wolotomi. Extremely dangerous beasts. It was reported that those beaks could cut through just about anything. They also supposedly had paralytic and mind influencing powers. What exactly those were, it was hard to say. Recountings from survivors were always muddled and contradicting.
It was a good thing he was up here and far far far away from the Wolotomi. It was heading towards the Thousand Sunny, but that wasn't his problem.
"It looks tasty! GUM-GUM PISTOL!" Caesar's eyes bulged and, before he could protest, a rubber arm shot down.
He watched in horror as the Captain's hand connected with the creature's elbow. Then the arm began to retract and massive beasts was being lifted out of the water, towards the flying duo.
A mix of an outraged bellow and shrill squawk vibrated in the air as the beast came rocketing closer.
The weight of the creature was making Caesar rapidly loose altitude. He tried to make more of his body gaseous and channel more air into an uplifting stream beneath him.
It was in vain. That monster had to be more than two tons in weight. Caesar was steadily plummeting as the Captain grinned with glee at the approaching monster.
The scaled head violently twisted to lock onto the flying pair. Two large black eyes burned with a primal hunger and Caesar was yelling at Straw Hat to let go of it.
The boy's manic grin grew even larger and the monstrous beak opened wide. A sonic wail came out of the beast.
Pain. So much pain.
It felt like a stilettos had been rammed into his ears. Bones vibrated like they were threatening to shatter. Gaseous parts of him thinned. Caesar felt his eyes rolling up into his head
He knew he had to do something, but he couldn't. Too much pain.
He was dimly aware of Straw Hat shuddering on his back and the beast was flying closer. That soul shredding scream, rending at his being, seeming to go on for an eternity.
Suddenly, the wail stopped, and Caesar was aware and in control once more.
They were falling and the beast was grappling them. One webbed hand on Caesar's torso. Another clamped down on Staw Hat's head and pulling so that the neck was stretched out. The beak that been coming down to behead the rubber boy was bound in a mass of vines. The creature raged, it's head tossing back and forth, trying to rid itself of the plant.
"Thanks Usopp! GUM-GUM GATLING GUN!" A violent rain of rubber fists fell all round Caesar and the Wolotomi's body contorted with each blow.
Despite all that, the creature still clung onto the two grimly. Beak desperately flexing and head shaking. The vines were slowly coming off.
Straw Hat's attacks did look effective on the Wolotomi but they were falling faster than the creature was getting injured. If they hit the water, the creature might revive and they would be helpless. While he would have loved to see the rubber boy drown in the depths of the ocean with the beast, Caesar didn't feel like taking a swim with a Wolotomi either.
Caesar gathered the combustible gasses like methane and others inside himself into an orb and brought it up to his mouth. Then he rearranged the oxygen before him into a column, directed at the beast.
If he was lucky, he might hit Straw Hat too.
"GASLIGHT!" His jaw opened and the volatile orb collided into the gathered oxygen.
Oxygen erupted into a blast of flames and struck the creature in the chest.
The Wolotomi issued a muffled scream and released the pair.
Now. Now was the time to run.
Caesar gathered himself and flew. Up and away from the falling beast. Through all of that, Straw Hat's legs remained solidly clamped to his torso. So much for trying to get the boy to fall off.
Straw Hat had the audacity to laugh and Caesar felt the boy winding up for something.
Caesar stared in disbelief as a rubber hand shot down past him and towards the beast, again.
Why?! They just got away!
Another rubber arm shot in the direction of the Sunny and grabbed onto the mast.
Then all three were rocketing towards the Thousand Sunny. Caesar could see the last of the vines falling off the Wolotomi's head.
They all landed in a jumble on deck. Caesar scrambled, misting backwards from the other two. Let Straw Hat deal with it.
The rubber boy was getting up just as the beast raised it's now free head. It's jaws opened, but that paralyzing wail never came.
Instead the Wolotomi's head hit the deck, blood splattering everywhere, a good third of it's head collapsed in.
Black Leg stood with his leg extended over the carcass, smoke rising from his ever present cigarette. He coolly regarded the scene.
"Ah! Sanji! Look what I found! Cook it!" Before the cook could respond, the Red Harpy stormed over.
"Luffy! I saw that! Are you insane? Do you know how far from the ship you were!? If you fell into the water, we might not have reached you two in time!" Her heels clicked ominously as she approached and the boy smiled at the navigator.
Caesar made the tactical decision to put even more space between himself and Straw Hat.
"But Nami! Look! Meat!" The Captain gestured at the dead creature and grinned with a blood splattered face.
The Bitchess' fist connected with her Captain's head and the boy cried out in pain. He held his head as the Red Harpy proceed to scold him with a fury. Any protests fell on deaf ears.
Carving the beast began, Black Leg and Chopper leading the effort. Meat was harvested. Supposedly valuable parts were put aside to sell at the next port. Long Nose collected the hide for leather.
Caesar retreated to float about sails and rigging. Watching the crew from afar and trying to not give them a reason to remember him. To remind them to put those vile cuffs back on.
He watched the crew work. Some of the crew skillfully dealing with the task. The Captain bounced from member to member, observing and chattering until he got shooed away.
Caesar soon lost interest in the going ons below him. And focused on his current freedom to fly. Weaving between the rigging, curling up the masts. He circled and began another circuit and came face to face with Straw Hat, hanging from the yard arm like a monkey.
"CAESAR! FLYING! Let's go!" The boy shouted.
He gave Straw Hat a flat stare, that young face grinning up at him. No concern at all for the dangerous encounter they just had. Bubbling with excitement for the next thrill. Caesar frowned, turning his back to the boy and floating away.
"I took you for a flight, my deal with Black Leg is done. Go away." He flew to the mast on the other side of the ship and a rubber arm shot out. Straw Hat sat on the yard arm this time.
"Aww, come on it was fun! Do more rolls and dives!" Caesar felt one of the veins in his temple start to throb.
"Did you not notice the Wolotomi that just tried to eat us?! They travel in pods! No! I'm not going out there just to have you pick another useless and dangerous fight!" The boy beamed.
"But we got yummy meat for dinner! Sanji said he was going to make a roast! If we find more of those things, we can have more meat! Let's go!" The boy stood, expecting Caesar to suddenly see and understand the pure joy that was meat.
Caesar folder his arms and glared down his nose at the boy.
"I don't eat meat." The boy stilled and blinked.
He continued to stare, not seeming be able to process what the pale man had said.
"Oh!" Straw Hat exclaimed, hitting his fist into an open palm.
"Don't worry. I'll tell Sanji to put some of the meat into the juice machine for you. Now let's g-"
"NO MEANS NO STRAW HAT!" The boy looked both deflated and confused.
"What? I promise you'll get a share of the meat and Sanji will juice it." Caesar pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to will the forming migraine away. This boy was just impossible.
"No, I don't want your meat. No, I don't want liquid meat. No, I am not going flying with you again. End of story." Straw Hat frowned and was eerily quiet for a moment.
"Why don't you want to go flying again? It was fun!" Caesar rolled his eyes in response.
"I don't want to go flying with you Straw Hat. You're a loose cannon and it's just going to bring me more trouble. Not worth it and there's nothing in it for me anymore."
"Why do you need to get things? Let's go and have some fun!" Caesar snorted and took on a haughty look.
"It's that kind of irresponsible thinking that gets people killed. Sure, have 'fun' now. Sure, do nothing but 'fun' later. What about tomorrow? Will there be the food and supplies you need? What are the contingency plans for when you don't have those things? But, who am I to stop you? Go have your fun Straw Hat and leave me out of it." A deep frown settled on the boy's face and he was quiet once more.
"We have those things. Sanji makes the food and Nami makes sure everyone has what they need. It's fine." Caesar's lip curled.
"It's fine. He says. Ha. And what do you do Straw Hat? Play and play and play. That's all I see you do. Leaving everything to your crew to manage. They even order you, the captain, about. What use are you?" Caesar laughed and some of the mirth left Straw Hat's face.
"It's not like that. It doesn't matter who tells who what to do. We look out for and help each other. We all have what we do best and I'm going protect my crew and defeat anyone who gets in the way of our dreams." Caesar's grin took on an oily sheen.
"Oh, so you just beat your problems into submission? Well Straw Hat, I can show you scores of two beli thugs that do the same, and look how far they get… Not far, I tell you. Let's look at you. You've been banking on brute strength and luck. That was working out fine till the Firefist Ace fiasco. I read the papers. You charged straight in, didn't even pause to think. You forced everyone else to do the thinking for you, didn't you? How many deaths did you cause that day?" What was left of good humor drained from the boy's face and the shadows depend around his eyes. A visible pain took hold of Straw Hat and Caesar's grin grew as he silently cheered.
Yes, Straw Hat. This is just the beginning. I will make you pay a hundred times over for what you've taken from me. For how low you have made me fall. Suffer, you don't know the meaning of the word.
"You think yourself strong. You are weak and foolish." Caesar brought his hand up to point at the rubber lad's head.
"Weak in the mind. No strategy. No cunning. No forethought. With planning, almost anyone could beat you. You've been lucky so far." The gloved hand fell away.
"Foolish. You are a fool to have emotionally invested in these people. You can't fully protect them and look at the pain their departure causes. You would have been better off having never known them. In fact, y-"
"No." Straw Hat cut him off.
"I will never regret knowing Ace or my crew. I failed… to save Ace, and alot of people died. I wasn't strong enough. I'm stronger now and I'm stronger for knowing Ace and the others. I will always keep his memories close." Caesar was taken slightly back from the fierce stare the boy gave him.
"What use are those memories? He's dead and gone. No amount of remembering will bring him back." Straw Hat's frown receded slightly.
The boy didn't respond immediately, instead he cast his gaze downward. Below, the crew still worked on the dead Wolotomi. The Red Harpy lecturing Long Nose about something. Black Leg skinned and cut away raw meat at an astonishing speed. Patches of Chopper's fur soaked a dark red with blood as he tried to extract glands from the beast's skull.
"It's cold without them." Caesar wasn't sure where or how the boy reached that conclusion.
"Straw Hat, it's summer in this part of the Grand Line."
"Hmmm, yup, it is." Straw Hat sat like a loon, smiling down at his crew below and Caesar massaged his temples.
Nonsense, insanity and irresponsibility just poured out of Straw Hat's mouth when it opened. How the hell did this idiot get this far on the Grand Line?
"Do you even know how to read?" The boy nodded.
"Prove it. What is this word on my lab coat?" Caesar pointed to the purple word 'GAS' on the right half of his chest.
The boy squinted and frowned.
"Why?" Straw Hat questioned and Caesar snapped back.
"Just do it. What does it say?" Caesar swore, up and down, if the boy couldn't read, he'd have to do some serious re-evaluation. To have lost to someone who couldn't even read. A level of pathetic Caesar feared he had fallen to.
Straw Hat focused on the lettering.
Moments passed and sweat formed on boy's brow.
Suddenly he erupted with laughter and Caesar eyed the rubber lad warily.
"Gas! I get it! It's because of your fruit power!" He continued to bubble over with laughter and Caesar sighed.
He had fallen to an insane pirate but, at least he had the most rudimentary of intellect. Silver linings and all that.
The boy quieted down, tilted his head and now looked at Caesar's gloves. As if this was the first time he was noticing the presence of lettering on his being.
"Marines? Aren't you a pirate now? Why are you still wearing that?" Caesar's hands twitched from the sudden desire to hide them behind his back.
Caesar wasn't comfortable displaying the branded Xs on the backs of his hands to the world. One look, and people knew you were a thief, and a poor one at that. Onlookers knew that one call to the watch and he was as good as arrested. The gloves had fit well when he got them from the Marine Science Core. When he left the marines, things like maintaining his appearance and clothing became optional when there were no corporals hounding him to stay 'military sharp'. How was a well groomed look going to help him find the next breakthrough anyway? A waste of time, that's what it was.
A rubber hand was being waved in his face.
"CCCAAEESSAARR! Hey! You there?!" Caesar scowled and swatted the hand away.
He was about to respond when a shout from below caught both of their attention.
"Luffy! Bring Caesar down here! Time for him to put his cuffs back on!" The Red Harpy waved.
Caesar felt dread pool in his stomach. He didn't want to leave the rigging.
"Aww! Nami, one more flight!" Straw Hat shouted down. Her response was quick and sharp.
"After that last one? No. Get down here. Sanji has something to say." The boy huffed and then clapped his hand on Caesar's shoulder.
"Flying was fun! Let's do it again soon! You should try to be happy sometimes. You might like it." With that the boy scooted off the yardarm and fell to the deck below.
Caesar snarled after the rubber lad. If it wasn't for this ship, this crew and, most importantly, Straw Hat himself, he'd be well on his way to happiness. Not here with this sunny, flimsy smile and nosey beyond belief crew.
Brooke's promise of a song floated into his mind for a moment and he shook his head violently to discard the thought.
He had better things waiting for him out there.
"Caesar! Come down! Don't make me send someone up there for you!" The Bitchess screeched.
Caesar flinched at the octave she was hitting and looked down.
The Wolotomi carcass was dealt with. Not a trace of the blood bath could be seen.
He was startled to see the entire crew gathered with Black Leg standing in the center. With all of them there, he had little hope of disobeying the Bitchess and getting away with it.
Caesar moodily floated down, choosing to defiantly hover a foot or so above the deck.
Robin sent him an amused smile as the Red Harpy sashayed forward, key and shackles in hand.
Delicate hands held out the open cuffs and Caesar glared down.
The bitch was expecting him to put his wrists in willingly. Anger started to claw it's way to the surface.
Zorro suddenly yawned loudly and one of his hands came to rest on his katanas. The lone eye giving the horned man a tired, yet pointed glance.
Caesar ground his teeth.
With a heavy heart, Caesar solidified, feet firmly planted on the deck. The Red Harpy gave him a bright smile as she snapped and locked the cuffs shut.
His world narrowed and all the exhaustion and aches his fruit had been holding at bay came rushing forward. Caesar cursed and stumbled slightly, balance lost.
In an instant, Brooke caught Caesar's shoulders in a skeletal grasp and steadied the pale man.
"Ceasar-kun, are you alright? Do you need to rest? That was quite the flight you and Luffy-san had! Yo-ho-ho-ho!" Caesar hissed and wretched his shoulders out of the Dead Man's hold.
The rest of the crew was giving him looks of concern. Caesar shot them all a withering glare. He was fine, he wasn't made of lace. He didn't need their help. He'd get through this himself as he had with all his past trials.
The crew continued to watch him despite his show of anger. He saw Chopper's eyes in particular gleaming with worry. Caesar eventually caved and look down at the deck. Uncomfortable with the attention being sent his way.
A slim yet strong hand took his elbow.
Caesar rounded on the person, ready to angrily tear into them. However, his wrathful retort died when he came face to face with a smiling Nico Robin. He debated on tugging his arm out of her grasp, or if that action would be part of her plan.
"It is quite sunny today. Why don't we all talk in the shade? I'm sure what Sanji-san has to say can wait a moment." Robin began to gently, but firmly, pull him towards his shadowed corner.
The others followed in their normal boisterous way and Caesar tried to get out of Robin's grasp. Her calm smile somehow took on a mischievous air. She released his elbow, only to then link elbows with him and clasp his forearm. Grip no tighter than before.
Caesar could practically feel the flames behind him. Glancing backwards, he saw Black Leg's face contorted in a jealous rage. The blond man's normally relaxed posture was hunched forward and teeth gritting his cigarette could be seen.
"Walk with me Caesar-san, after the trouble my captain has caused, I think we all could use a calm walk." The dark woman tilted her head up to him, hints of a sly smile on her face.
Caesar noticed the cook's fury grow ever stronger. To walk anywhere near the irate man was asking for a beating. Caesar's brow furrowed and he whispered quietly so that only Robin could hear.
"Manipulative witch." The scholar laughed quietly with a happy expression. Making it look as if he had just told her an amusing joke. She leaned her head upon his upper arm and Caesar heard Black Leg audibly sputter in outrage behind him.
"Takes one to know one, now shall we set off?" Choosing to avoid Black Leg's wrath, Caesar allowed himself to be lead by Nico Robin.
As the group moved along, Caesar glanced over his shoulder occasionally. An aura of anger billowed off the cook. In it's wake, followed Zorro, eye closed and seemingly oblivious to the world. Chopper and the Marksman came next, the two chattering away about plans for the new ingredients they had just harvested from the Wolotomi. Franky lumbered behind them, surveying the group in front of him with an amused smirk. Brooke and Straw Hat brought up the rear. The two dancing and about as the skeleton performed Bink's Sake yet again.
Caesar was sure that how these people could listen to the same song over and over again was strong evidence supporting his theory that the Straw Hat pirates were utterly insane. He didn't care for music, true, but it had gotten to the point where he physically shuddered when that song began.
The group reached Caesar's corner. Robin released him and he quickly scuttled away from her and Black Leg. The cook regained some of his composure, his anger seemingly inversely proportional to Caesar's distance from Robin.
The horned man grabbed his cheerful pillow off the deck as went further into his corner, it was his, it wouldn't do to leave it in their easy reach. He backed up to the walls of the corner, trying to get as far as he could from his captors. A futile, but necessary effort.
"Sanji, what did you want to say to us?" Asked the marksman.
The last of Black Leg's anger seemed to vanish, as if it had never been there, and the suave laidback persona returned. He took his time to discard the now destroyed cigarette and replace it with a new one. The cook breathed out a stream of smoke as he responded.
"Not yet, Nami isn't back yet." Caesar glanced about and didn't see the Bitchess.
"Where did she go?" Chopper asked as he looked about with those big eyes, searching for his missing comrade.
"She went to go put away that sick bastard's key. She'll be back in a second." Caesar fumed as he glared at Robin.
That had been an effective distraction on the dark woman's part. He hadn't even noticed the Red Harpy leaving.
Zorro plodded over, seemingly half asleep. He leaned against the outer wall of Caesar's corner, just outside the group's rough circle but close enough to hear everything said.
Caesar watched as Chopper eventually joined Brooke and Straw Hat in their dance and song. A guitar appeared in Franky's hands and played accompaniment. The marksman clapped in time to the beat and sang along. Black Leg and Robin watched their namaka with faint smiles.
His aching body eventually forced Caesar to surrender his pride as he slid down along the wall to sit against it. He mentally bemoaned how the Straw Hats were either in or near the shadowy bounds of his corner. Forcing him to have a front seat in watching all the merriment. Didn't they have anything practical or productive to do? This was such a waste of ti-
Caesar yelped in alarm as he was suddenly flying towards the dancers. A rubber hand on his shoulder. Next moment he was being tossed about the circle by Straw Hat. He heard various people around happily shout at his sudden participation.
He didn't like this, being thrown about like a rag doll. He didn't know how to dance nor like it. Singing was a waste of time and most of these people here couldn't hold a melody to save their lives. Caesar's anger built up with each toss, laugh and course.
He had had enough.
Caesar smacked his shackles down on Straw Hat's hands. Making the boy drop him and recoil from the seastone. The tomfoolery came to a halt and Caesar picked himself off the deck.
"Ouch! Why did you do that!?" Exclaimed Straw Hat and Caesar felt his blood go cold.
Enough of this.
"I am not a toy to be tossed around Straw Hat. Touch me again, and I swear, I will kill you." And he would, he'd killed others in the past for much less. A grim air settled about the group.
Chopper looked a mix of alarmed and outraged at the issued threat. Franky and Brooke both stopped playing. Franky, with his head tilted back slightly, regarded Caesar with an unusually serious expression. Brooke was stock still, there was a sad aura lurking in the dark sockets that disturbed the pale man. Robin and Black Leg looked unfazed, waiting for their Captain to make a move. Zorro continued to lean against the wall with his eye closed, as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Long Nose moved forward, as if to jump to his Captain's defense.
Straw Hat halted the marksman with an outstretched palm, his eyes were large and bright. No trace of the malicious gleam Caesar expectantly searched for.
"Nobody is a toy. You looked unhappy in the corner, so I thought it be better for you to play with us." Caesar bristled.
"Does it look like I want to play with you lot?!" The boy grinned.
"You played with Brooke and Zorro! Now play with us too! Don't be all mopey all the time. Play! Live a little!" Exasperation settled onto the pale man's face and he couldn't tell if the noise that came from Zorro was a snore or a snort.
"I wasn't playing with them." Caesar spat.
"It's ok if you don't know how to play. We can teach you. There's tag, hide-n-seek, hop-scotch, racing, four sq-" The rubber boy got cut off.
"I KNOW HOW TO PLAY! I'm an adult! It's a waste of time!" Straw Hat tilted his head at the outburst and the others remained quiet.
"It's not a waste of time. It's important. Everyone plays." Caesar sneered at the boy.
"I don't play. Normally, I have work and other better things to be doing. Unfortunately, I'm stuck with you lot." Straw Hat hummed loudly in supposed thought.
"I'm back! Sanji! Here's the log book. You left it behind."
Bitchess appeared above them, on the decking outside the galley. She leaned on the rail, chest resting upon the banister, pushed forward to display their bounty to anyone present.
She held out a heavy ledger to the cook and he reached up to take it.
"Ah, thank you Nami-swan! My angel! Always looking out for me!" Black Leg dithered and Caesar rolled his eyes.
The blonde opened the book and flipped it to marked section.
"Alright, before I get started, Luffy, have you been sneaking anything besides meat from my kitchen?" Straw Hat didn't bother to look sheepish at the question and responded instantly.
"Nope! I took the mutton legs last night!" Rather than launching into a lecture punctuated with kicks, the cook sighed.
"I thought as much. I've been noticing food disappearing from my kitchen. Food that Luffy wouldn't touch if there's meat around. Things like vegetables and bread. It's small and random, but it's becoming clear in my logs." The cook paused and surveyed the crew.
"I don't mind serving extra food, happy to even, but I need to keep record of how much is eaten and when. It's important for when we resupply so that we order what we need. Not too much or too little. Have any of you been raiding my kitchen?" Black Leg explained and asked calmly.
"Curly-bro, I take cola sometimes but I let ya know later!" Franky exclaimed and the blond nodded.
The crew for the most part either shook their heads or couldn't recall that last time they had tried to swipe something from Sanji's domain.
"Do you have any idea how long food has been vanishing for Sanji-san?" Robin calmly asked and the blond paused to inspect his log book.
"If I had to guess… a three or four weeks." There was a small lull of silence before Long Nose spoke up.
"Oi Franky, didn't you and I have to fix the engine around then? When it got weirdly overheated?" The Cyborg wore a serious look and nodded.
Zorro joined the circle, suddenly fully awake and focused. For the first time during his forced stay on the Sunny, Caesar witnessed the first mate issue an order.
"Everyone split into pairs and search the ship." No one hesitated and the crew hustled to do as Zorro commanded.
Zorro, followed by the Bitchess, walked towards the bow. Franky and the marksman made their way towards the brig. Straw Hat and Brooke went off to search the deck. Black Leg and Robin we're to set off and sweep the cabins on deck. The dark woman paused, making her the last to leave his corner.
"Caesar, you can stay here if you like, but it may be better if you went with one of us." Caesar's eyes ran over the various pairs that had formed.
None of the pairings appealed to Caesar. Each having an element or aspect that made him cringe at the thought of going with them.
By this time, pairs had gotten farther from him, yet all were still on the deck. Caesar was about to decline the offer but was cut off.
"One, Two, touch my shoe.
Three, Four, knock at the door."
A sing song voice of a young girl carried over and, in the distance, he could see a child jumping rope on the bow.
"Five, six, pick up sticks.
Seven, eight, lay them straight."
Zorro being closest, was the first to investigate. Seeing that it was a child, the grip on his katanas relaxed.
Despite his approach, the girl continued to jump rope. Even from this distance, Caesar could make out the smile on the young dark face.
"Nine, ten, a big fat hen!
Glue-Glue Wave!"
As her rope came down, the child splayed her hands. Ebony skin on her arms turning white as snow as small flood of viscous white gel rushed forward.
The grunt of the swordsman could be heard as he got hit by the wave. He reeled, covered head to toe in white goo. Zorro hastily wiped his face clean and then lunged at the girl. His hands outstretched to grab the child by the nape.
The girl was already moving on to the rest of the crew, ignoring the dangerous swordsman.
The green haired man slowed as he got closer and then stopped fully only a foot away from the girl. The man struggled and shouted alarm, his body imprisoned.
The Straw Hats we're on alert and began to move to try and help their imprisoned namaka.
It was a futile effort Caesar would realize later.
The trap was already sprung.
Author's Notes:
Men in White Coats - Caesar has been going on and on about how the Straw Hats are crazy, but sanity and insanity is a matter of perspective. By society's standards, Caesar is a sociopath with incredible levels of apathy and would be certifiable. He's also consumed with ambition. When he looks at something new, his first thoughts are of how can this be useful to him, advance his goals or what can make with it. Thus, he collects plans and thoughts as fast as he discards them, the instance with Torladium is an example of this behavior.
Eyes of Blu-BROWN! - I stand corrected. Nami's eyes are brown. For some reason, my mental images of her have blue eyes. Great catch! Here on out, the pretty lady will be having brown eyes.
WARNING - This is where I toss my cannon overboard. Going forward will be original characters, locations and major deviation from Oda's story line. Dangerous waters are dead ahead.
General - I cannot put into words just how much your reviews support me. When my phone goes off at the lunch table at work with a review message and the whole day is is twice as bright and my troubles seem that much smaller. You all have my heartfelt thanks for lending me your support.