Another Eclipse
Disclaimer: All the characters in the story are the property of Stephanie Meyer. I have borrowed them for my entertainment and (hopefully) your reading pleasure. I make no profit from their use.
Author's Note: This story is a continuation of my other story "New Moon Rewound," which envisions the Twilight Saga as if the original New Moon was only a nightmare.
Chapter 10: Wolf Drama
As we drive back from our first pre-marital counseling session with Dr. Weber, eloping to Vegas is starting to look better and better. Weber is a skilled counselor, very insightful, and highly intelligent. All of these attributes added to not only an uncomfortable session, but also a dangerous one. Unlike Charlie, Renee, and the high school administrators, Weber is not going to be satisfied with glib explanations of private sanatoriums. He is determined to ferret out the truth.
If it were simply a matter of proving to him that the sanatorium was real, that would not be the problem. We have so much experience fabricating people, places, and documentation, that it would be no sweat (not that vampires can sweat anyway). We have fooled many experts with far more experience in tracking down the truth than him. But what he lacks in experience, he makes up for in intuition. And he has that in spades.
The real issue is that the worthy minister was able to pinpoint every microscopic hole in our story like a laser beam. No lie, whether is may be well or poorly told, is ever perfect. It wasn't just Bella's lying that made him suspicious. I have never met a human that could so easily read through my own obfuscations.
Of course, his rational, theological mind cannot possibly imagine the truth. While the man has a deep faith in God and the existence of heaven, he is utterly skeptical of the supernatural world. In his mind, vampires and werewolves are metaphors created by ancient people to explain odd, natural phenomena.
Angels, literal and figurative, act as a force for good in the world. However, bloodsucking demons only exist in horror stories, fairy tales and Hollywood flicks. Ironically, if we told him the truth rather than any deceit we might devise, he would be more likely to disbelieve it.
When Weber told us that he wasn't looking for "right" answers, he was looking for the truth, he wasn't kidding. He has heard just about every foolish justification for getting married in the world, but only rarely has he ever refused to marry a couple. He has seen couples squirm and stammer before him as they try to avoid telling him things that embarrass them.
But his intentions are pure and he isn't out to "get" anyone. His purpose in discovering the truth is that he feels that it is his duty to help each engaged couple he works with to uncover and talk out potential issues. He knows that if he says "no" without doing this, then the couple will just go somewhere else. His purpose is not to deny marriage, but strength it. It is difficult to be bothered by such a sincere man.
It is very obvious where Angela gets her sterling character and kindness. This is a man with a highly sympathetic view of human nature. Still, he loathes intolerance and seeks justice in any situation. His perception of morality and ethics is incredibly idealistic, while his view of humanity is realistic. He considers it his job to help the very real humans in his parish to strive for the ideal. And he works to protect the weak. And in many ways, Bella is weak.
The vibe that he is picking up from Bella is that she is very needy emotionally. He can tell that she had a difficult upbringing and that due to various and different reasons never really deeply bonded with either of her parents. He suspected as much based of his talks with Charlie.
And he recognized (based on those talks), as I did, that Bella often fell into the role of parent or caregiver rather than child. His fear with regard to her is that she is marrying me to get away from them and to have a more secure future with someone, who genuinely loves her. In short, she, even if she doesn't realize it, hungers for a loving caregiver of her own.
He has discerned from my answers that I absolutely, unconditionally love her. But he is also afraid that I am rushing into marriage with this image of myself as the "knight in shining armor." As an adopted hold who was showered with love and care nice I was young, I want to provide that for another. He admires my old-fashioned stance on pre-marital sex, but thinks that it may be a part of my incentive to marry young. Overall, he thinks that my intentions, though highly worthy, are also idealistic.
And since he does not know my actual age, he views me as a somewhat callow youth caught up in a romantic, not to mention simplistic view, of a complicated situation. He knows that Carlisle is a highly rational and pragmatic man and cannot think why he is indulging my wish to marry so young. He can definitely see Esme as an overindulgent parent because of her "fertility" issue, but Carlisle, no.
Weber is also afraid that I don't realize how I might be getting in over my head with a girl as emotionally fragile as Bella. He is not completely convinced that Bella's deeply rooted fears and anxieties could be cured in a few months of therapy and medication (he presumes). He is concerned that she may not be getting the follow up care that she needs here. He is hoping that he will be able to excavate all of these various issues and get us to talk them through.
It has been his experience that if young couples talk openly and honestly about the potential pitfalls of life together, that they come to the conclusion on their own that they need to wait a year or two to marry. His greatest fear is that we will go off to college, not fully aware of each other's needs and the marriage will fall apart causing both of us more grief and agony. In that situation, he is very fearful for Bella's mental health.
There is not a single point in his line of thinking that I can quarrel with. It is apparent that he only has our best interests at heart. But he is worried that Charlie is signing off on the marriage because he is afraid of losing Bella completely, and my parents are because Esme has always overindulged me.
He has totally discounted Renee as a actor in the story. She clearly has lost her influence over Bella due to her unyielding stance. But the worst part is that he has discerned that he is only getting part of the story.
Convincing him that whatever cover story we design is true is going to be a uphill battle. About the only thing that I am grateful for at the moment is that I have a vampire memory. I will need to recall every detail for Carlisle so that he can help us work things out.
"We're here, Edward," Bella says, as she pulls the car up in front of the house, shaking me out of my rumination.
I haven't even noticed that we have driven out of town. Carlisle comes out onto the porch to meet us.
You seem distracted. Esme is making dinner for Bella right now. And there will be enough to bring some home for Charlie.
"So kids," he says. "How did it go? You were there longer than I had expected."
"It could have gone better," I say cautiously.
"I'm afraid that part of the problem was that I got caught up on some of the questions about how we met and started dating," Bella replies apologetically. "And towards the end I got testy."
"In what way?" Carlisle asks, looking concerned.
"I told him that Edward started out by hating me," she answers. "But then I couldn't exactly say why because I couldn't tell him that my blood smelled so good that Edward wanted to kill me. The because I was frustrated, I became defensive."
"Well you certainly couldn't talk about that," Carlisle says wryly. "But I thought that we going to try to avoid those kinds of answers. You know, the kind that raise more questions than they answer."
"We did," she says a little miffed. "But, Edward, you went off script too. Why did you tell him that Tanya was your old girlfriend? I thought that we weren't going to mention her."
"As I was reading his mind," I reply. "He was thinking that it would be terribly odd if we had never dated anyone else before. I am very young for marriage in this century and Weber wanted to know if I had any real experience with girls. He was also afraid that if you were my first girlfriend that I might be infatuated with you, rather than in love with you."
"But I said that I never dated any boy before," she says. "In fact, I said that I had never been on a date before."
"Yes, you did," I reply. "And he quite definitely does think that you are infatuated with me. He also thinks that your family situation has left you feeling like you don't really have anyone, who really loves you. In addition to me, you will be getting a whole family of people who love you. And that's why you want to get married as soon as possible."
"It sounds as if he was drawing some pretty strong conclusions," Carlisle comments. "And some of them are not in your favor."
"The big problem is that he has discerned, quite accurately I might add, that we are censoring what we tell him," I say. "He knows that he is not getting the whole truth, so he is filling in the blanks based on his own experience counseling engaged couples. In short, he knows that we are hiding something."
"We are," Bella says. "It would be a whole lot easier if we could just tell him the truth."
"Actually," I say. "If we tried to tell him the truth, he would laugh at us. His rational mind can't even imagine what the Cullens really are. He would just perceive it as a lie. But that isn't even the biggest problem."
"What is?" Carlisle asks.
"He wants to have all the information that we can give him about the sanatorium," I reply. "He wants to be able to call and speak with the director and Bella's private doctor. He is also concerned that it appears that Bella isn't getting any follow up care here. He knows from talking to Charlie that he knows almost nothing about the details and has totally entrusted Bella's care to you, assuming that you will do the best for her."
"It sounds like we need to coordinate with our cousins in Alaska," he replies.
"At the very least," I say. "But he is also going to ask Bella to sign a HIPAA form so that he can get all of her records. And he will want to check out the place, at least online."
"Well, Jasper can take care of that," Carlisle says. "He's the expert in forgery. We've done all of this before. I would say that the biggest problem is going to be the follow up care."
"I can't go to another shrink," Bella groans. "Look at the mess that I made of the first session with the marriage counselor!"
"There is nothing that you said that we can't explain to Weber when he meets with us again and asks follow up questions," I reply. "My vampire mind remembers not only every word you said, but every thought he had. And he had plenty of doubts in those thoughts."
"I'm sure that he did," Carlisle says. "From our perspective, the strongest argument for you two marrying is that you are true soul mates in the vampire world. And once you change Bella, she will never be any older than she is. The two of you will be eternal teenagers, occasionally hiding the fact that you are married."
Bella immediately begins to shift anxiously between one foot and another. We need to address this before the conversation progresses any farther.
"Let's go inside," I say. "You must be hungry, Bella."
"Starving," she answers. "It's almost dinnertime, isn't it?"
"For humans," I tease. "Don't worry, Esme is waiting with a dinner for you and something to bring home to Charlie."
As we go in, I am assaulted by Alice's thoughts as she walks in with a plate from Esme. Bella immediately sits down and begins to eat.
Dr. Weber is calling up Charlie to say that he is concerned because Bella isn't getting any follow up care from her trip to the sanatorium here.
I inwardly roll my eyes.
"Bella," I say. "Alice tells me that Dr. Weber is going to call up Charlie because he is concerned that you aren't seeing a shrink down here."
"Charlie can't make me see a shrink," she says. "That's my choice."
"Um, that may be true, but it won't work as a reason to avoid it," Carlisle says. "Most psychiatric facilities do not release patients without a plan for follow up care. So your doctors would be very remiss if they didn't plan for outpatient care before they released you. This can mean private therapy or group therapy. It could also possibly mean medication. Now saying that you are on a maintenance med like, say, Lexapro, is pretty easy to fake.
"However, the logical option for someone like you would be private therapy, preferably with a psychiatrist who would be writing your prescriptions. This is much more difficult to fake since such a therapist would, just like Dr. Weber, figure out pretty quickly that you're lying."
"It's just so much harder than I thought it would be," she says. "The problem is that it's not just one lie, it's a whole series of lies that I have to tell to keep the first lie consistent."
"That's very true," Carlisle says. "It's the difference between telling one falsehood or fudging facts and creating an entire cover story based on lies. We are going to spend the next week working on a cover story for your relationship. And you will practice explaining it so many times that it will sound perfectly natural when you tell it to him. In some ways, it's lucky that you left so many holes in the story. We can fill them in and you can continue to let him drag the details out of you."
"Why can't I just tell him the new story?" she asks, after she finishes chewing her food.
"You have to continue the way you started," I reply. "If you go from only giving reluctant answers to suddenly telling him everything, he will think that you're lying. But you have already established with him that you don't like talking about personal. And that's okay, because you truly don't. It is completely within character for you. I'm afraid that this is how we live our life. Creating a new identity requires lying."
"Do we have to keep talking about this?" she asks, her annoyance rising again
"Not if you don't want to," Carlisle replies. "Why don't you eat that dinner that Esme made for you and Charlie in peace?"
"That's fine with me because I'm sick of this conversation," she says. "And after I eat, I have to get home and do a lot of homework."
"Well," I say. "I would really like to go hunting. Carlisle, do you want to come?"
"Sounds like a good idea," he replies.
And we really should talk. She'll be less cranky after she eats.
"But you'll come to Charlie's before I go to sleep, right?" she asks.
"Of course," I say soothingly. "It's still early. I have plenty of time to hunt and the get to your house before ten."
"Okay," she says. "I'm glad that I won't have to cook for Charlie. I really need to get on top of all this schoolwork. I can't believe how much work we have to do and we haven't been in school for a whole week."
"Well, at least tomorrow is Friday," I say. "Then we have the whole weekend off."
The thought of that cheers her up. By the time I walk her and her plate of nasty goo into the kitchen where Esme is waiting with open arms, she is in higher spirits. I am in higher spirits once she sits down again to "enjoy" her food before she collects the leftovers for Charlie. I can't believe that humans don't starve on that slop. I walk to the back of the house to find Carlisle waiting for me.
Are you ready to go?
"Yup!" I reply, and we run out the backdoor.
Because we are still only a month on the other side of the winter solstice, the woods are already dark. There are a few flakes of snow drifting down, which indicates temperatures below freezing, but we don't feel it. In fact, because there is no chance of human contact, we aren't even wearing coats. One of the most annoying things about winter among humans is the necessity of bundling up. All those layers are bulky and make movement difficult.
I always feel a certain freedom after we leap over the river onto the other side of our property. We've been home now for almost two weeks, but in some ways it feels like we never left. If I had my choice, all things being equal, I would rather have stayed in Denali. I think about our happy and relatively peacefully life up there with our cousins and the new home that we left behind, and take a deep sigh.
Are you regretting that we returned to Forks?
"Yes," I reply. "Life would have been much simpler if we had stayed in Denali."
Yes, in the short term, it would have been easier. But in the long run, Bella would have been filled with regrets that she never made up with Charlie and gave him a proper farewell. You gave her the choice out of love. It's not fair for you to place any guilt on her for choosing the path she wanted.
"I'm not trying to make her feel guilty," I say.
You aren't consciously trying to make her feel guilty, but every time you talk about all of the complications of getting married here, that's what it sounds like. She feels bad enough as it is because she is such a poor liar. We overestimated her ability to manage such a complex deception. But that's our fault, not hers. You are clearly frustrated by Weber, but sometimes it sounds like you are frustrated by her.
"I'm sorry that I ever mentioned how Angela felt about her father marrying us," I say. "I know that she would have been perfectly satisfied with a civil ceremony before a judge. Bella is not the least bit religious and she wouldn't have cared. But now we are backed into a corner."
Very true. But you can't back out now. If you do, it will look very suspicious. I have no doubt that Dr. Webber would call up Charlie and express his doubts. We are simply going to have to come up with an ironclad story. We've done it before. And we can come up with any form of documentation or interview that he asks for. So you just need to . . . Look! To the right!
I can smell it too. There is a herd of elk with at least one mountain lion shadowing them. Like us, they don't feel the cold. We run in the direction of the scent. I leap up to catch the lion on a tree branch, while Carlisle runs in to snag the largest elk. Thankfully, although we are fairly close to the treaty line, there are no wolf boys around to disturb my meal.
When we are done, and have buried our kill, Carlisle looks over at me, and smiles.
Feeling better, son? I thought a snack would take the edge off your nerves.
"It did," I say. "Let's climb some trees. I feel like I have some excess energy to work off."
Most people would call that nervous energy.
The pines here are close enough together that we can easily leap from tree to tree. Now that I've fed, I'm more interested in seeing if we can't find any wolves to eavesdrop on. Since they can't smell us from the ground, we can spy without them being aware. Carlisle is aware of my intent, because he points across the river.
Jared and Paul.
I nod. We both settle into the upper branches of a large spruce next to the river and hope that they start thinking something worth listening to, and then not move for a while. Of course, Carlisle can't hear anything, but he will know if I do. The wolves walk to the river, lap some up, and then sit back on their hunches and look around.
Man, Paul, I don't know why we have to keep running these patrols. The redhead is gone and the Cullens aren't going to do anything. I wish that I could be the one who stays back in the village.
And how much good would that do you, dummy? You would still be in your wolf form. Do you want to sit next to Kim so that she can pet your head?
Don't be ridiculous! Besides, Sam isn't a wolf right now. And don't pretend that you're not jealous because you haven't imprinted yet.
This is the second or third time that I've heard them use the word "imprint" when they are talking about their girlfriends. It's a new term for them. The other three wolves that we met back in the thirties never thought about it. And in their previous conversations, I wasn't focusing on these modern wolves' female relationships. I was more worried about their relationship with us. But it was always in the back of Sam's mind. He was always completely aware of her presence in his life.
I try to see what's going on in Jared's mind with regard to his "imprint" Kim. She apparently is to him what Emily is to Sam. Luckily, Paul's reference to her has gotten him thinking about her. It very quickly becomes obvious that an imprint is the nearest thing that there is in the werewolf world to a mate in the vampire world. However, it is the wolf that imprints on the girl. It is not exactly a reciprocal relationship.
Evidently, Kim was a girl that Jared went to school with. The first time that he saw her again after he phased last summer, he was hooked. It was like nothing else existed for him in the world but this girl. He adores her with every fiber of his being. And she has had a secret crush on him for all these years. As far as he is concerned, life worked out perfectly.
Don't act so smug, bro. You just happened to be lucky that you imprinted on someone who had always loved you. Not to mention the fact that you didn't have a girlfriend at the time.
Yeah, man! It really does suck for Sam that he was so tight with Leah before he imprinted on Emily.
Sucks more for Leah, from the way that Jacob was thinking earlier. Boy, Sam must be sorry that he made all of us phase because Quil did. In addition to dealing with a brand, spanking new freaked out wolf; he had to listen to Jacob thinking about what Leah told him about how miserable she was.
And old Jake sure as hell did enough of his own editorializing. For a while there I thought that he was going to mutiny against the boss. Who knew that Jacob even gave a crap about Leah?
It wasn't really about Leah. Jacob is a boy with a very strong sense of justice and ideals. He never really thought too much about Leah and the effect on her, because he only had Sam's side if the thing. But Leah sure gave him an earful without even knowing what it would mean to him. And Embry was definitely thinking the same way that he was.
Embry always thinks that same way that he does. He always has. Why do you think that he didn't tell him to turn it off or if he couldn't, to phase back?
I don't know, maybe because Sam likes to torture himself. That's all he's been doing since he first imprinted on Emily and just dumped Leah.
It wasn't totally like that. Sam didn't want to dump Leah. But he didn't have a choice. Emily was it. She was the only thing in his mind.
Tell me about it! Sometimes I feel like I know Emily better than I know myself. But you know, sometimes it feels like everyone is excusing Sam for being an asshole because he's the Alpha. It's like Leah doesn't count for anything. She's just the collateral damage in the wolf world. I really hope that Bella can help her find a college far away from La Push so that she can get away from all this crap.
Yeah, but, come on. Poor Quil didn't know what to think. He needed all of us to cope with his first time phasing. He was so scared that I didn't think that he would ever phase back to human. And Jacob is his best friend. All of the sudden he's turned into this huge brown wolf with five different voices in his head and the first thing he gets to hear about is that the reason Sam ditched his girlfriend who he was all but engaged to is because he imprinted on her cousin.
"Poor Quil" nothing! He's totally psyched about turning wolf. And he had to know sooner or later. And I still don't feel sorry for Sam. He may not be able to tell Leah that he imprinted so that he can have a perfect excuse for dumping her, but he's got to just stop saying that he still loves her. And he better watch out, because Harry or no Harry, Sue is going to rip him apart for what he did to her daughter.
Well, he's lucky that at least Harry knows the whole story. It's too bad that wives can't know the truth. Then Sue would understand.
Understand? You're the one who doesn't understand, you idiot! Sam broke Leah's heart. Even if he could tell her the truth, do you think that it would hurt her any less? All I know is this. I'm not dating any girl ever again.
What? That's crazy! Talk about being an asshole!
No! An asshole is someone who knows that he could imprint out of the blue, but still leads some girl on because he thinks that it can't happen to him. Sam should have stayed away from Leah as soon as he knew she wasn't his imprint. He knew it the first time he saw her and nothing happened. Crap! They fought so many times because he couldn't tell her the truth about being a wolf.
Maybe he didn't think he would imprint. None of the last three wolves did.
That's no excuse. After all that trouble, he goes and imprints on her cousin of all people. She has it in her face all the time. But it really takes the cake that he's pissed at Jacob for telling Leah not to be a bridesmaid because it will hurt Emily's feelings. That whole thing was just so wrong! Besides, Jake and Embry are with me on the whole dating thing.
But Emily is his imprint. As far as Sam is concerned, Emily's feelings are the only ones that matter.
No offense, dude, but that's pretty messed up. You dump a girl for her cousin and then you support the cousin's request for the girl to be a bridesmaid at the wedding. I don't know what the hell is wrong with Emily. She knows the whole story on before sides. You would think that she would have more sympathy for her.
Uh . . .
See? Even you can't answer that one. And if Emily's not careful, Sue is going to take her apart too. You would stick the knife in and twist it like that for Kim's sake, I guess. But you won't have that problem. That's why I say, no dating unless I imprint. I may be a jerk, but I'm not sadistic monster.
That's pretty harsh, Paul. What makes you think that you can pass judgment on the Alpha? How can you follow Sam if you don't respect him?
Who said anything about respect?
Okay, you might not have said it, but you certainly implied it. And imprinting isn't a bad thing. Billy says that it's necessary to breed stronger wolves.
Following Sam to protect the tribe (even if I didn't respect him and I do) has nothing to do with his imprint. And please don't use the word breed in the same sentence as imprint. It really makes me feel like an animal. Right man, all that matters where Emily is concerned is that I don't kill her. Besides, she is a damn good cook.
We've been sitting here too long. Sam is going to come back into our heads any minute and he'll be pissed if we are still in the same spot as when he left us.
With that, they trot off down the river towards the ocean. Jared is thinking about his girl Kim and Paul is thinking about Quil's joy, albeit belated, at discovering he was a wolf, after he got over being scared that is. I have to admit that the conversation was extremely fascinating. I can only think that Jacob must have really felt terrible when he had to listen to Leah talk about Sam and was unable to tell her the truth.
However, now that I do understand the whole imprint thing, I am greatly relieved. Things would have gotten very sticky, if Jacob had imprinted on Bella last night. After all, it was the first time that he had seen her after his first phasing, and that's when it happens. I wonder if he was disappointed when it didn't happen, or if he had even thought of it.
It is difficult to imagine the battle that would have occurred between the two of us. It would have been a fight to the death and all out war between the wolves and the vampires would have started. Bella would have been devastated to know that she was the cause of it all. I suppose that the person whose thoughts I would really like to hear now are Emily's.
What kind of a person participates in such a scheme that is breaking the heart of her cousin? Even worse, why does she feel the need to ask Leah to be a bridesmaid? Sam must be exerting some kind of a powerful hold over her if she is willing to do that. However, Jared's connection to Kim tells me that it's Emily who is holding onto Sam.
I wonder if Bella knows anything about imprinting? Probably not, since she's never mentioned and I didn't really know what it was until tonight.
That was a very long conversation. What were they thinking about?
"Women mostly," I reply. "I'll tell you about it tomorrow. I have to get to Bella's house."
Of course, you do. So I guess that you are not the only one with these kinds of problems.
"Hardly," I reply, as we drop to the ground.
I run to Bella's house, thinking about the wolf conversation the whole way. This whole business about imprinting has a creepy aspect to it. The wolf sees his imprint and immediately becomes attached to her. Her response is presumed by the wolf. She is so overwhelmed by his love and devotion that she can't help but respond. In the case of Jared and Kim this whole "imprint at first sight" was the fulfillment of a dream for the young lady, not so with Sam and Emily.
Probably the worst part about Emily's first reaction was the danger that she put herself in when she initially rejected her imprinter. Sam was so angry that he phased in front of her, as he was reaching his hand out towards her, and he was too close. As they were arguing, she had gotten into his face and the next thing she knew, his claws were literally sinking into her face.
She had no idea at the time that the "man" she was dealing with was some kind of privileged hero of the tribe. He was her cousin's boyfriend and, at least initially, Emily had the good grace to be disgusted by his advances. It has become a lesson for all potential imprints. Don't reject your imprinter.
However, the sinister part of the whole thing is that if you are not in on the werewolf secret (in other words, the vast majority of tribe members), you do not even know the true story behind Emily's loss of her once beautiful face. You think that she was clawed by a bear when she was out hiking with Sam.
And then, you think that the Elders are crazy because instead of letting her go to the best doctor in the state at the county hospital, she goes for substandard treatment at a local clinic that was not equipped to deal with this type of injury. Then, lastly, she ends up falling in love with Sam and breaking her cousin's heart anyway. Even Leah doesn't know the whole story. Instead she feels betrayed by both her best friend and the man, who promised to marry her.
After hearing the background thoughts of Jared and Paul, my estimation of Jacob Black has increased a thousand fold. He sat with Leah eavesdropping on Sue and Bella's conversation. From what I could tell, she spilled her guts to him about her pain and anguish. And she was terribly jealous, although not hateful, of Bella. After all, Bella has everything that she had and lost. Jacob was deeply conflicted because he could see Leah's torment, for lack of a better word, but couldn't tell her the truth of the matter.
Although the excuse that men (or women) often give in a break up is "it's not about you it's about me," in this case it is absolutely true. And Sam is pouring salt in the wound by professing to still love Leah, while Emily wants Leah in her wedding party. Jacob actually went so far as to tell Leah to refuse. She deserves better. Now Jacob is in trouble with Sam because Emily's feelings are hurt.
The situation is creating a subtle divide in the pack. Paul and Embry agree with Jacob that Leah got the raw deal of the century. Embry and Jacob (not just Paul, have refused to date until they imprint. Paul's mind indicated to me that the three of them confronted Sam on the issue, but he responded with an Alpha order not to discuss it with him or Emily. But the order does not include Quil or Jared.
Jared, who understands the phenomenon better than either of them, is siding with Sam. Quil, who is still adjusting to his new incarnation, hasn't formed an opinion yet. Despite their good intentions, I can't help wondering what will happen if any of the other three imprint. I wonder if they will sympathize with her anymore.
Paul, a very strong personality as well as a hothead, has lost some respect for Sam. To date, he has not given an Alpha order to them not to speak of imprinting to Leah. Logically, he shouldn't have to, because it is insider information. However, Paul perceived in his mind that if one of them were to tell her, he wouldn't mind. Paul views this as cowardly. But where Leah is concerned, Sam feels nothing but ambivalence.
He feels terribly guilty for ditching her the way that he did. It was literally a matter of one minute, he and Leah were trying to work out their disagreement about his hours on patrol and away from her, and the next he was completely mesmerized by the sight of Emily. And Leah had no idea what was happening.
When she approached her parents regarding Sam's betrayal, Sue was livid and Harry refused to comment. He also prevented Sue from railing against Sam the way that she thought he deserved. Harry, in on the secret, could not criticize the Alpha of the pack. Especially since he knew that he was only doing what came naturally to him.
From what the others were thinking about what they have seen in Sam's mind, it seems that his guilt keeps him from doing some version of the right thing and telling Leah that he no longer likes her. Instead, he still professes to love her, but despite their years together and the promises he made, he just loves Emily more. What he can't tell Leah is that his bond with her transcends love in any sense of the human word. They are bound for life.
I left Carlisle before I had a chance to tell him about this thing or even ask if I could tell Bella about it. Since she plans on spending time with Leah, I don't think that it would be a good idea. Bella has a deep belief in justice and if Leah told her about her Sam situation in any detail, Bella might be inclined to express her outrage.
No, it's better if Bella doesn't know about this particular "pack soap opera." I am still trying to sort through all the nuances of the pack mind myself. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have five other voices and their thoughts in your mind at the same time. But if I ever run into the six-man pack, I will certainly get the chance.
When I reach the house, I look up and see Bella watching for me out her bedroom window. She steps back so that I can scale the wall and slip in the open window. The minute that I have her in my arms, all thoughts of the wolves leave my mind. It is late. Bella is ready for bed, and in know that she will be asleep soon.
"It's time for you to be in bed," I say quietly. "Charlie is already asleep."
"Yeah, I know," she replies. "He loved his dinner. He even ate the salad. Then he turned in early. It's great to see him really trying to obey the doctor's orders."
"Well, that's good," I reply. "After he takes off the first ten pounds or so, I think that he's going to start to feel a difference in his health. Usually, if someone can get that far, it is an incentive to keep going."
"That's encouraging," she says, yawning. "I need to get to sleep myself."
We go to bed in our usual position of her wrapped in her comforter, curled up in my arms. After we settle in, she still doesn't fully relax.
"What is it, love?" I ask. "Are you still worrying about our meeting?"
"Not as much as I was," she replies. "Esme talked it out with me and she convinced me that I didn't totally blow it. And Alice can't see anything because who knows what crazy thing I'll say next?"
"Don't be so hard on yourself," I say. "But if you aren't thinking about that, what are you thinking about?"
"Well," she says hesitantly. "Leah called and asked if she could come over on Sunday to research colleges. I said yes."
"That's fine," I answer, thinking about the opportunity to read her mind. "I'll help if you want."
"Well, it's not just Leah who will be coming," she says nervously. "Jacob is going to drive her because she doesn't have a car."
She closes her eyes and waits for my response.
"That's not a big deal," I say. "As you've pointed out, I have no reason to be jealous of him. And it sounds like he has gotten over his crush on you."
"Oh, he has," she says. "In fact, he told Leah that he plans to watch football with Charlie. He has no interest in college. He wants to be some kind of car technician."
"Considering what you've told me of his mechanical skills, it sounds like a good prospective career for someone who doesn't want to go to university," I reply. "And it's not a job that you can ship to the Far East."
"That's what Leah said," she replies. "But I'm figuring that you won't want to be in the house with the wolf smell."
"And the vampire smell would be very uncomfortable for him," I agree, although I really don't care if it bothers him or not. "I can always find something to do. Besides, it will make Charlie happy."
"Yes, it will," she replies. "I think that I'm ready to sleep. I was worried that you might be upset about Jacob."
"I would be more upset about Billy," I say. "But Jacob is harmless. Sleep well, love."
She snuggles in and before I know it, she is sleeping deeply. I ponder Jacob and am very grateful that when he saw Bella last night, he didn't imprint (or try to) on her. Since he didn't and he's made this "vow" to stay away from girls so that there won't be another Leah, I trust him. And despite the fact that he is a young wolf, it sounds like he is really settling down.
Like Sam, he has more maturity than "the average wolf," so to speak. I am glad to see that now that he is past the early wolf stage of instability, the finer qualities that I perceived in him before are reemerging. I am still sorry that he is a wolf. Despite the fact that he has accepted that Bella is not his girl; it is still his natural inclination to me to hate me. Oddly, I don't feel the same way, but my raison d'être is not to destroy werewolves.
However, having both Leah and Jacob in the house is a opportunity too good for me to miss. I intend to hang out in the woods, far enough away that Jacob can't smell me, so that I can listen in on their thoughts. I am a little ashamed to admit, that it's not about gathering intelligence. I would just like to get a glimpse of this wolf drama from another perspective.
Author's Note: School has started up and my new crop of students requires more of my attention. I have set myself a goal of one chapter a week. If I have time for more, than I will write one. But I prefer to take my time with this. I have a lot of ideas about how I want to spin this yarn.
Feedback is always appreciated. And yes, I'm going off canon with Paul too. I don't believe that I am going off canon with Emily, because Bella's perception of her in the story was pretty vague and shallow. She only seemed to be able to view her within her relationship to Sam. Have a good week, all of you! I love you all.