Supernatural – Heart of Gold

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural in any way. I do own Haley

Author's Note: I just want to say, I no absolutely nothing about how the brain works when it comes to sight, much less how a person could temporarily or permanently lose their sight. Anything I've used in this is put together through half-done research that made next-to-no sense to me, so if it's not even close to how any of it would normally work, you know why.

Chapter 9 – Out of Sight, Out of Mind

How long had they been waiting? One hour? Two?

"It's only been about thirty-five minutes." Haley said, checking her watch. She had stitches holding the gash above her eyebrow closed, and she was covered head-to-toe in bruises and scrapes. Aside from that, she was perfectly fine.

Dean, on the other hand, had refused treatment until he was sure Sam was going to be okay. He'd been pacing from one side of the hallway to the other for the past thirty-five minutes.

"Dean, I swear, if you don't sit down, I'm going to get a doctor over here to sedate you." She said. Dean shot her a glare, which she returned whole heartedly, before he took a seat beside her, his head in his hands. Unsure what else to do, Haley put an arm around his shoulder t comfort him, but he shrugged it off, getting to his feet again and leaning against the wall opposite her. After a moment of rubbing his eyes (Haley guessed he was trying to hide tears), he just stared at her for a second. He didn't speak for a moment, and when he did his voice was tight with self-control; he was trying very hard not to sound like he was losing it.

"Why didn't he move?" He asked no one in particular. "I mean, did that nut-job do something to him? If he did, I'm going to summon his ass back from wherever the hell it is he went, and then I'm gonna kill him again."

Haley stared at the wall beside Dean for a moment before speaking, "He was afraid," she whispered, leaning forward onto her hands, elbows propped on her knees.

"What, Dime was afraid of something?" Dean asked skeptically. Haley shot him a disappointed glare.

"No, you nitwit, Sam was afraid," she said softly, "afraid of the fire."

"Sam? Afraid of fire?" Dean asked, the skepticism still evident in his voice. "Haley, Sam has survived two fires in one lifetime, not to mention how many demons that used fire that he's faced over the past few years."

"Yeah, two fires in one lifetime." Haley said. "Both of which took someone he cared about. You lose two people you loved in a fire, not to mention almost die in one yourself, and tell me how happy you'd be to see someone combust in front of you."

Dean blinked, stared at Haley for a few seconds, a little shocked by her outburst. The young woman shook herself, and got to her feet.

"I'm sorry; I'm just feeling a little…" She shook her head. "I mean… I've fought evil spirits and stuff before… but I've never killed a human man. Even one that's been blessed and/or possessed by a demon." She gave herself another shake. "I never thought I'd have to." She sat back down. After a moment's hesitation, Dean sat down beside her, putting a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"It wasn't you who killed him," he said, "Sam was the one who pulled the trigger." He didn't know how much comfort that would be. He didn't feel good saying it; it felt like he was blaming Sam for what had happened to him.

"I still helped." Haley said. There was a shuffling of feet, and then both hunters were on their feet as the doctor came down the hallway.

"Mr. Simmons?" The doctor addressed Dean.

"That's me," Dean said. "Is my brother okay?" He asked.

The doctor gave Dean a grave look. "He'll live," he said, "he's suffered first degree burns on his face, mostly around his eyes. But I'm afraid that's not the worst of the injuries."

"What?" Dean asked. The doctor seemed to be stalling. "What is it? What's wrong with my brother!" He almost shouted. The doctor glared at Dean for a moment, then his face changed to a look of understanding.

"May I ask how I suffered such injuries in the first place?" He asked. Dean opened his mouth, but Haley cut across; she doubted he'd been thinking of a story to cover up what they'd been doing, so she'd been thinking up one while they waited.

"He was trying to light the stove," she said. "It kind of went… well…" She threw up her hands, making a sound like a small explosion.

"I see," the doctor said.

"Well you won't if you don't tell me what's wrong with my brother in the next five seconds." Dean said flatly.

"Unfortunately," the doctor said, looking at Dean and Haley over his glasses, "neither will your brother." Dean snapped his mouth shut before he said what he'd been about to say.

"What do you mean?" Haley asked.

"I'm sorry, how are you related to him?" The doctor asked. Haley opened her mouth, but this time it was Dean who gave the answer.

"She's our cousin." He said. The doctor gave another nod, then continued.

"The flash from the explosion has caused severe trauma to Sam's visual nervous system," the doctor explained, "we won't know for sure until he wakes up, but we think it's possible he may suffer temporary, if not… permanent, loss of sight."

Dean blinked, his mouth working soundlessly. Sure, his brother was still alive, but… possibly permanent loss of sight?

After a minute of indecipherable speech, Dean finally got a few words out. "Can I see him?" He asked, his voice cracked. The doctor nodded solemnly.

"He's still unconscious at the moment; as of yet, we're still unsure if it's merely shock or a coma; we're still waiting for the x-rays to come back. But by all means," he gestured toward the room Sam was in, and Dean raced toward the door, with Haley following him at a leisurely walk.

His brother was indeed unconscious, lying on the hospital bed with his face still covered in angry red burns. Dean walked over and sat in the chair beside his brother's bed, while Haley took up a position by the door, giving Dean a few moments with his brother.

After about five minutes, Dean started rolling his head to loosen up the tight muscles in his neck.

"There's nothing much we can do until he wakes up." Haley said, walking over and standing beside him. "Maybe you should have the doctor look at the blood coming out of your scalp." She suggested, noticing the dried blood, and the not-so-dry blood, that had matted a small part of Dean's spiky brown hair. They were almost at the door when a strangled gasp reached there ears, followed by a slight whimper of pain as Sam tried to move his aching body.

Dean left Haley's side the instant Sam gasped, and was by his side barely a second later.

"Dean?" Sam's tone was raspy, and he opened his eyes, looking wildly around the room.

"I'm here, Sammy." Dean said, grasping his brother's hand.

Sam's relaxed slightly when he felt his brother's rough-skinned hand in his own. He blinked, looking around, trying to see his brother's face. "What's with the total darkness? There's a new invention, maybe the hospital's heard of it; it's called a light bulb." He joked. Dean bit his lip, but didn't say anything. Haley stood by the door, not saying anything. "Dean? Come on, man, say something." Dean looked to Haley for help, but she offered no answers. Meanwhile, Sam was beginning to panic; Dean's grip had gone loose in his hand. "Dean? Dean, turn the goddamn light on!" He all but shouted, his breathing rapid, on the verge of a panic attack.

"The light is on." Dean said. Sam stopped.

"Wh-what?" He asked, his voice cracking as realization started to sink in. "Don't… don't joke with me, Dean." He said, blinking rapidly, looking wildly around the room but seeing nothing. "Dean… Dean please tell me that was a joke."

"The doc, he said… uh…" Dean was fumbling for words, trying to avoid the truth. Trying to avoid admitting it to Sam, as well as himself. "He said that you've… that your eyes might've been damaged… strained, I think was the word he used-"

"Cut the crap, Dean, what's wrong?" Sam demanded, breath quickening by the minute. The beep on the machine registering his heartbeat was slowly becoming more insistent by the minute.

"He said that you've suffered some sort of damage to your eyes." Dean said quickly, getting it all out. "That you might suffer temporary… or permanent… loss of sight." He said all that without taking a breath, and then taking a long, deep breath once he was finished. Sam laid there staring at Dean. Staring past him, through him, whatever; what mattered was that suddenly he wasn't panicked. He just stared straight ahead.

"Sam?" Dean managed. His brother didn't answer. "Sam say something, you're freaking me out with the staring." Sam's gaze locked onto the spot he heard Dean's voice come from, with anger in his eyes.

"What do you want me to say, Dean?" He asked softly, his voice tense. "What do you expect me to say?" The harshness that rose in his voice tore at Dean's heart.

"I'll… leave you two alone." Haley said, rubbing her temples as she opened the door to the room. She slipped out, leaving the two of them alone.

Once the doctors were sure that Sam was in no danger of passing out or anything like that, they released him, on the condition that he came back if he showed any signs of improvement, or if it didn't improve within the next week.

Sam was silent for the whole drive back to the motel they were staying at. He sat in the front seat with his eyes closed, occasionally moving to get a bit more comfortable.

It took them fifteen minutes to get from the hospital to the motel. In that time, Sam somehow managed to make a mausoleum seem a much happier place then the inside of the car. Haley couldn't blame him for being upset; after all, he'd just found out he may never see again. What she didn't understand was why he was taking it out on them.

"Here we are; motel…" He was going to say sweet, "dusty, motel." He said. Haley chuckled, and then saw the state of disrepair the outside of the motel was in, and shot a glance at Dean.

"You've got to be kidding me." She said, turning back to look at the motel. "You seriously couldn't find anything better for…?" She stopped, but Sam knew what she'd been about to say.

"Hey, what's the problem?" He asked in a mock-cheery voice. "It's not like I'll see it." He fumbled for the door handle, found it, and staggered out of the car.

Haley could practically feel the fear suddenly well up inside him as e stepped away from the car. Back at the hospital, he'd been restricted to his bed until they left, at which point Dean had guided him to the car. Suddenly there were no restrictions, no Dean, and he had just stepped away from the only support he had. He was, for all intents and purposes, alone in a sea of blackness.

But then Dean was by his side, and Haley saw the not-quite-concealed sigh of relief that escaped the younger brother. She got out of the car and went around to the trunk, grabbing their gear while Dean guided a slightly-frustrated Sam to the front door, and then to their room.

He sat Sam down on the couch, while Haley set about unpacking their gear after nearly a minute of awkwardness, Sam spoke up.

"Guys, silence, bad, can't see anything, remember?" Haley noticed the slight quiver in his voice, and for the first time since leaving the hospital wondered just how hard it must be for him.

"Right, sorry." Dean said, but both he and Haley were at a loss for words. Neither of them knew what to say.

"Guys, talk, sing, shout, yodel, do anything, but don't stand there staring at each other, please!" He all but shouted. Haley frowned, then walked over and turned the TV on.

"Until we think of something to say." She said. Sam stared at the screen, eyes wide.

"Great, I can listen to the Sound of Music." He said. Haley's nostril twitched; something it did if she was annoyed, frustrated, that kind of thing, but she didn't say anything. Though if she were to say something, the words 'unappreciative' and 'childish' leapt to mind. But she reminded herself that Sam was the one in the dark, so he had every right to act behave a sour child. Didn't mean she had to like it though.

"I guess I'll go get us something to eat." She said. Dean looked at her for a minute, then tossed her his keys.

"You'll get around quicker with the car." He said as Haley snatched the keys out of the air.

"Thanks." She said, heading out the front to the Impala. She climbed in and turned the ignition, and drove the car out of the parking lot, going in search of a fast-food place of some sort.

After driving around for nearly fifteen minutes, she gave in and pulled into a McDonalds drive thru, realizing there was nothing better then that in the small town. How McDonalds had stretched its arms to such a small town, she did not know. She pondered the meaningless question as she drove back to the motel, the passenger seat covered with an assortment of stuff she was sure was food in a past life. Now, though… it just tasted like food. She hoped.

She parked the car in the motel parking lot, grabbed the bags of fries, burgers, nuggets and thick shakes, and somehow managed to carry to the door of the room she was sharing with Sam and Dean.

She pushed the door open a crack, hearing angry shouts coming from inside the room, and saw Sam on his feet, staring in Dean's general direction, and using every bit of his height advantage to try and seem intimidating while he shouted at his brother.

"… two years for you to trust me enough to drive that car." He said, resentment evident in his voice. "We've known her for, what, two days? And you give her the keys like you've known her all your life."

"What is your problem, Sammy?" Dean shouted back. "What, are you jealous? Is that it?"

"It's Sam!" Sam shouted at his brother. "And what do you mean, jealous? You think it's remotely possible for me to be jealous of her?" Sam scoffed. "Ha, no chance. I just can't believe you're so trusting of her."

"Well, in case you hadn't noticed, Sam." He put as much venom into the name as he could. Haley groaned, her headache flaring up again. Neither Sam nor Dean noticed. "She's saved both our lives at least once-"

"And that's enough?" Sam interrupted.

"Yeah, saving your life counts for quite a lot in my opinion." Dean shot back.

"Oh, yeah, and she did so well in our last fight." He said.

"Well, if you want to get into that, Sam, you were the one that pulled the trigger." Dean knew he should've stopped there. "You've got no one to blame but yourself." He immediately wished he had. Despite the fact that it was the truth, he saw how much it hurt Sam; the younger man obviously knew perfectly well he had no one to blame for his handicap.

They both heard a gasp from the door, and Haley fell through the opening, crashing to the floor. Sam didn't move; it was either because he didn't know how many things he'd hit before he got there, or he just couldn't be bothered going to help. Either way, Dean pushed past him and ran to Haley's side, earning him a sneer from Sam.

"Haley, you okay?" Dean asked, kneeling beside her. She glared at him as she sat up.

"I'm fine, I'm not an invalid." She snapped, getting to her feet. Dean took a step back like she'd bitten him. Haley bit her lip, looking at the floor when she realized what she'd said. Dean turned to look at Sam, and saw him standing the exact same way, biting down on his lip and staring at the floor.

"Okay, the whole synchronization thing is kind of creepy," he said, looking from one to the other. "Why don't I just… go out for a while…" He took the keys to the Impala from Haley's hand, and headed out the door. "Give you two a chance to say all the horrible things about me that you're obviously dying to say." He felt a little out-numbered, and it didn't help the matter knowing that the two of them seemed to seriously dislike each other.

Haley ignored the bags of food she'd dropped on the floor when she'd collapsed, and walked over to the kitchen, purposefully shoving Sam out of the way with her shoulder. He flinched as she touched him, and she suddenly felt like kicking herself. As angry as she (unexplainably) felt, she couldn't believe she'd forgotten Sam couldn't see her.

That guilt vanished when she remembered what the argument had been about. It was obvious that Dean giving her the keys to his beloved car was a sign of him trusting her, and that trust obviously angered Sam, for whatever reason. What might have been a growl escaped Sam's lips, and then staggered back to the couch, his hands held in front of him; level with his waist, so that he would touch the couch before he ran into it. The slightest feeling of pity crossed Haley's mind. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to not be able to see.

A/N: There you have it, the next chapter. As always, R&R, and I'll keep the updates coming. I've been given four until the beginning of next week to write as much as I want, so the updates should flow pretty well until then. I hope. BTW, of all the people who have put this fanfic on alert, only two of you have reviewed. Hint, hint...