"You told me she was dead, Ben." Juliet charges angrily towards him, finger accusatory and pointing, before she extinguishes into sadness and heartbreak. "I thought she was dead." She whispers.
Ben stands firm, a hard look on his face. "I did what I had to do Juliet." He deadpans in a monotoned tirade.
Juliet does the unexpected. She brings up her right hand and slaps Ben's check. It isn't hard, but the sound echoes throughout the office. Juliet's face contorts in surprise and shock as she brings her hands up to cover her mouth while Ben maintains his stern, expression-less expression.
"Ben, I..." But Juliet doesn't finish.
"Go home Juliet. We'll talk about this when you've calmed down." Ben orders, his tone more exhausted than angry.
Juliet stands there for a beat, still shocked, but quickly turns-eyes cast downward-and steps quickly toward the door, grabbing me on the way out. We don't stop until we get back to the house.
She forces me inside and closes the door hurriedly behind us, though I doubt anyone followed us back. Once we're finally alone in our own home, Juliet kneels down on her knees to look me clearly in the face. Inspecting, she gently gives me a thorough glance over. Juliet's soft hands lift my arms and turn my face to get a clearer picture of the damage inflicted upon me, pain evident in her features. She then takes my hand and leads me to the kitchen counter, and helps me jump up-just like she used to when I was younger and had gotten hurt. Which was often; Juliet consistently reminds me of my ambitious-and clumsy-childhood self that would embark on daring and often stupid adventures that would land me bloody and sitting on the counter, more often than not. But Juliet didn't mind.
"So where were you for the past couple of days?" Juliet, starting to dab at my face with a washcloth fetched from under the sink, focused-ly inquires. Her mouth hangs slightly parted as she delicately cleans the cuts with a steady medical hand.
"Ben told me to help with the mission-that it'd be our ticket home. I just had to spy on the survivors and-"
"Survivors?" Juliet distances herself to question me, "Like, survivors from the plane." She more of explains to herself than further interrogates my validity, as she does when deeply cogitating on a subject.
"Yes," I affirm, "Ben ordered me to act as Goodwin's daughter and pretend to be one of the survivors. You know, to live as one of them and blend in." I throw in Goodwin's name, aware of my sister's fondness of him as she resumes her task of cleaning my injuries.
"Oh, Goodwin! I hadn't known he was a part of the oppression." Not that Ben would have told her, "Where is he now?" She asks, clueless and casual.
I gulp deeply. "Goodwin is dead."
Juliet, receiving more shocking news of the day, slams her hand with the rag on the counter beside me. She brings the other hand to cup her forehead as she takes a constricted deep breath. "He's d-dead?" Her voice shakes.
I reach up and pull the hand from her face and pull it back down to my lap, comfortingly clasping it, and drawing her attention to me. "Yes." I say slowly.
She slips her hand from my lap and turns to the sink, staring out the window. Juliet drags the back of her hand and the rag across the bottom of her nose as I watch tear-once again-stream from her eyes. Her chest rises unevenly a couple times before she turns back to me. "How?" She says, feeling stronger.
"I'm not sure, I didn't see it." I inform her truthfully and when she looks saddened, I rush to provide information, "But someone from the plane crash told me that he was caught running away, so he shot two people trying to escape before he was shot and killed."
The information causes Juliet to turn away to the window again, pensive. Only a couple moments pass before she turns back. "Why?" She shrugs, "Why did Ben send you two out there? It's basically a suicide mission? What was the point?" Juliet begins to get worked up, walking the line of hysteria.
I take her hands to calm her and it helps. "Ben told us that he needed lists. Lists of people that are worthy to come back here, with us." I tell her before pausing, "Though I don't think he expected either of us to make it back. Especially me."
Juliet takes me into her arms, quickly as if she expected Ben to suddenly appear and rip me from her. "I don't understand why he would do this." She thinks aloud. I just allow myself to be soothed as I bury my face in her hair and her hands lightly rub my back.
She pulls back-sooner than I would've liked-and attempts at a smile through the tears remaining on her face, though it comes out pitied and desperate. "You smell awful. Let's get you in the bath." I nod gratefully and follow her to the bathroom we share.
She runs the water, adding bubble bath, and I grab the soaps and the brush. As the water and bubbles fill the tub, Juliet yanks at my filthy waves.
"Liv! Here! Now!" Juliet's voice calls to me from down the hall. I tug on my jeans, buttoning them as I run, and race down the hallway to Juliet's bathroom. "Sit." She commands, brush already in hand. I groan as I sit on the small seat, palms flat against the porcelain counter in anticipation.
"None of that," in a playful tone as she laughs, "we could just chop it all off." We spent the next ten minutes tugging the brush through my tangled curls.
"But Jules..." I whine, the pain agonizing and long, "can't I just have a braid? Like your's?" Nine year old me wanted to do everything exactly like my grown-up big sister.
"We have to brush it first, but that's fine." She attempts to maintain her stern assertion, but fails and reveals a silly smile before beginning a compromise of two pig-tail braids.
"So you and Goodwin were together a lot this week?" Juliet asks sadly, sitting beside the tub.
I nod before inserting a verbal response as well, "Yeah. He... We were ordered to act as Father and Daughter. We had to pretend and sleep near eachother and be responsible for eachother. It was... Different." I tell her.
As the bath continues, I tell her all about my stay with the survivors of Oceanic 516. As dangerous and miserable it was, it was... different. In the exotic and new kind of exciting way. I tell Juliet about how we got to the island and what roughing it was like, and describe to her all the people-how I liked some, and didn't others. I tell her about what I did and the games I learned and even Walt and I's secret spot that isn't much of a secret now that so many people know about it. She seems fairly impressed with all of it. She angers at the part about Sayid and my description of the beating and how I received the bruises and cuts I have now. Juliet questions Ethan's motive of my attempted kidnapping, and I have to explain to her it's helpfulness before she stands to storm off to Ethan's this very moment. We both smile as I recount my chocolate bars, and speculates on the meaning of my odd dreams. She angers at the part about Sayid and my description of the beating and how I received the bruises and cuts I have now. By the end of the tale, the water is luke warm.
"But yeah. That's what happened," I say, matter-of-factly.
"But," Juliet tries to put her seemingly ineffable confusion into words, "Why did Ben send you? What was the point of sending a little girl? You're literally the most untrained and innocent in the camp."
"I'm not some little girl!" I object, though I know that because I feel the need to deny the notion, somewhat strengthens it.
"I know, babe," she assures me, "but you know what I meant."
I bite my lip, thinking of whether to answer her question or not. The implications of my suspicion for being sent would not be overlooked in Juliet's eyes. Part of me is afraid of the consequences, not of my own, but of Juliet's inevitable actions. I don't want her to freak out and try to get back at Ben. No one could ever win against him. I stand from the tub and step onto the soft rug beside to allow Juliet to wrap a towel around my body. I can see the love and ambivalence in her eyes as she decides not to coddle me again, so I smile up at her as I dry myself.
"Thanks, Jules. I-I really did miss you. A lot. And it feels really great to be clean again." I tell her. She sends a tight-lipped smile as she begins to drain the tub.
A moment passes before I speak up again. "Juliet?" I timidly ask.
"Mhmm?" She absentmindedly addresses me, occupied with tidying the now dirty bathroom.
"I think," deep breath, "I think I know WHY Ben sent me." There's no going back now.
That gets Juliet's attention. She's kneeling on her knees near the dirty clothes hamper about a foot away, but she pauses and allows my distressed-and probably ruined-shirt to fall to her lap in her hands. Her eyebrows furrow, urging me to continue and explain myself.
"He pulled me out of school and took me straight to his desk, then the docks. He wouldn't let me see you, or tell you goodbye so I couldn't inform you about the mission. Then, while with the survivors, he only had me in contact with Ethan indirectly through Goodwin, and gave me minimal information or instruction. He didn't have me told how or when or where Goodwin would speak to Ethan. I was only there for superfluous cover for Goodwin. Then, when Goodwin was... killed, I wasn't given instructions on how to handle the survivors beating me. But I was leisurely rescued because Ben knew there was nothing I could tell them, though I don't think Ethan was supposed to rescue me at all. Based on Ben's reaction in the hospital and what he told you, he hadn't expected me to show up around here again. So I was rushed out the village for some unnecessary job, and Ben lied to you because he-"
"He didn't expect you to survive the assignment." Juliet answers numbly.
I approach her and kneel down in front of her. "By assigning me and Goodwin to the mission, Ben would easily knock everyone out to be the most important person in your life."
"You really think he would do all that, just to get close to me?" Juliet eyebrows and lips tense together with guilt, her eyes distant and cloudy.
"I doubt the mission was his idea, but I assure you that his assignments of it was." I state.
Juliet's face breaks as she pulls my towel-incased body close to her and wraps her arms around me. "Liv, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault." I feel her hot tears on the top of my hair.
"It's not your fault, Jules," I sympathize, "I don't blame you. This is Ben's doing." I remind her.
"I-I didn't realize he was so rancorous. We need to be more careful around him." Juliet states.
"We've all seen how he looks at you, Juliet. There's so much desire to impress you and provide for you. He's always been possessive and overly-protective. Maybe you could use that?" I suggest, then my eyes widen at the implications, "I d-didn't mean like that!"
"How do I look?" Juliet steps out into the living room, smoothing out her dress. The dress is one of her lesser conservative ones-per my suggestion-but not prurient in the slightest. It's a classy blue, sleeveless, silky material with silver accents. She's pulled her hair back with a clip and wears a silver necklace-bracelet set that I gave her for her birthday this past winter.
"Earrings." I state, reminding her.
"Oh yeah." She chuckles, her laughter brightening the whole one-roomed apartment. She dips back into her room and I stand up, leaving my copy of THE CRUCIBLE next to me on the couch, following her into her room and plopping onto her bed in the center of the room.
There, she's leaning towards the mirror-the one on the wall next to the door-straining to put her long earrings in. I laugh at the sight of her desperately trying to get ready and approach behind her. "Jules, you didn't zip up your dress all the way." I zip it to the top and she turns around.
"I guess I'm a little nervous." She sighs with a weak smile.
"Don't worry, Jules. This will be good for you. This guy, you said his name is Ed? He's a doctor right? Right up your alley. Just enjoy yourself, you deserve this, you work so hard." I assure her, giving her a pep talk.
She nods convincingly. "You're right. I deserve a little fun." Juliet tells herself more than me.
Just then, someone knocks on the door. "Liv, can you get that? I have to touch up my makeup?" She pulls out a tube of lip gloss and begins applying it.
"It's not gonna help..." I playfully sing-song over my shoulder. I duck out the doorway just as a pillow from Juliet's bed flies out of the door way and smacks forcefully on the opposite wall. I barely miss it. I lean back through the doorway, hanging onto the frame. "I meant that lovingly. That makeup can't make you any more beautiful than you already are. It's impossible." I smile adoringly and peck her on the cheek before I swing back out of the room.
My bare feet patter down the hallway as I approach the door. I stand on my tip-toes to see out the peep hole in the doorway. A man in a black suit stands anxiously with flowers in his hand. I unlock the door and open it, arms folded across my chest.
He appears somewhat startled but he forces a smile, quite fake looking in my opinion. "Hi," he bends down slightly, "You must be Liv."
I uncross my arms to place a hand on my hip. "Olivia, actually." I correct. I don't know this guy. The only people who can call me Liv are Juliet and Rachel, and Rachel's not around anymore.
"Well aren't you sweet." His smile spreads, reminding me of the grinch.
I scrunch up my face. You bet I am.
I hear Juliet's heels ferociously clicking across the wooden living room floor. She reaches for her purse on the table beside the door while trying to turn to me when Juliet trips over herself-she always does get ditzy and clumsy when nervous. She falls into this Ed character, who catches her and they both laugh. Oh brother, I roll my eyes.
Juliet gets to her feet, straightening herself, then leans over to kiss my cheek. "Asleep by 9, yeah? No TV until you finish your math." she suspiciously raises her eyebrows as she pulls her purse on her shoulder.
"Yes mom." I grin cheekily.
She slides her hand through the back of my hair and kisses my forehead again. Juliet gives me an almost sad tight-lipped smile. "Bye. Call me if you need me." She goes to step out of the door following Ed, but steps back in. She places another kiss on my forehead. "Love you." She says again.
"Love you. Now bye!" I push her off as we both laugh and shut the door. I continue to smile until I sit on the couch, looking for the remote.
Juliet nods down at me, smiling just slightly, kind and ever-loving and reassuring. "I think you might be on to something, babe." She surprises me by developing the thought, "Maybe if I can utilize Ben's feelings for me, instead of denying it, we can convince him to send us home."
Her determination makes me doubt her ability to find the line where it's acceptable to stop. "Juliet, you don't have to do this." I warn.
Juliet stands, me following her immediately. "No, Liv, I have to. I have to search every route, do whatever it takes to get us off this damn island." She walks out of the bathroom and into her room with a purpose, leaving me stunned in the middle of the bathroom.
"What have I started?" I ask myself, huffing.
Juliet and I talk for a long time on the couch in the living room, after my bath. She fixes me a grilled cheese sandwich-as I hadn't had one in days-and some hot chocolate. With cinnamon on top, of course.
Juliet cranes her neck back so she can check the clock on the oven. "Holy smokes, Liv, it's after midnight!" Juliet stands, expectingly waiting for me to do the same. I check the clock; "12:16 AM". More often than not, I would oppose Juliet with an argument stating why I should continue to stay up, but I can't find it within myself tonight.
I follow her into the kitchen with my cup and place it in the sink for us to clean in the morning. "Of to bed with you." Juliet turns to hug me, and to follow it with a guaranteed consecutive kiss per usual, but I stop her.
"Can you tuck me in?" I give her my best sad puppy face. My sister actually seeing me to bed is an extreme rarity for special occasions.
Juliet rolls her eyes playfully before turning me towards my room, "What, you think being stranded on a deserted beach with hostile plane crash survivors is some big deal or something?" Her voice dripping in sarcasm. I huff over my shoulder but don't question her too much; I'm getting what I want.
We get to the end of the hall and turn to the left and I hurry to slide into my bed sheets, Juliet soon sitting on top of the blankets beside me. "I'm very glad you're back." She hugs me.
"Me too. I missed warm showers and eating real food. And most of all," she leans in, "my soft bed." I laugh at her expectation, but Juliet rolls her eyes and hits me with a pillow.
"You're really funny, did I ever tell you that?" She tries to be mad, but is greatly unable to retain her cause. We smile for a beat before she sobers. "We can talk tomorrow about a game plan." Juliet and her plans; they're always something interesting. "But for tonight, good night. And I love you. A whole lot." Juliet squeezes me.
"I know," I smirk, "And I love you too. See you tomorrow."
She pecks my forehead and I roll to my side and close my eyes as I feel her weight ride from the bed. I hear the floor wood tiles creek as they set under her but pause several steps away. "See you tomorrow." She whispers from the doorway. At first I dismiss it as a melancholy response, but it's not.
It's a promise.