When You've Been Hurt, Too

Chapter 10 – Freed

By Threshie

AN: I don't own Escaflowne or its characters. I'm sorry for the lateness of this update, but I do have a life and family and I wanted to enjoy the holidays with them, not freezing at my computer. (For those wondering, my computer is not at home—it's at my dad's workplace, and the room it's in currently has no heater.)

So, here's chapter ten, and while it may seem like the end I plan fully on continuing it—I pondered on making a sequel, then figured it'd be better just to continue it in this fic. ) Anyway, enjoy the chapter, and thank you all for waiting for this update so patiently!

Warmth.

Dallet felt it all around him, gentle and soft. It was soothing. It was also too good to be true--being warm meant being comfortable, and the brunette knew from experience that vagrants rarely found comfortable places to sleep. Forcing his lilac eyes open, he found himself staring at a deep crimson ceiling. Where...?

He tried to sit up, but found, disturbingly enough, that he was too weak to do so. Frustrated, he settled for lulling his head to the side--and suddenly he was staring into hazy, sky blue eyes. Dressed in a pale blue button-down shirt and jeans, Gatti smiled, looking remarkably healthier than the vagrant had ever seen him before. He was still pale, though.

"Hey...do you feel better?"

Dallet smiled a little, himself, answering honestly, "There are only a few times I've felt worse." Truthfully, the sight of the blonde vampire renewed the brunette's memory of the horrible pain he'd had to put him through last time he saw him, and it didn't exactly help him feel better to think about it.

"There's no need to feel guilty," Gatti assured him, "It was necessary, and I'd be dead now if you hadn't been strong enough to help me." Remembering his breakdown after he'd abandoned the silver saucer, Dallet grimaced a little.

Now he probably thinks I'm too sensitive to take anything, he thought, but only said, "I don't feel that bad about it, Gatti. I didn't want to do it, but I think it was worth it if you think so."

"Which I most certainly do," the blonde smiled again, "And I really appreciate your help, Dallet. Thank you."

Dallet sighed, letting his eyes drift closed as he answered, "You don't need to thank me...I'm glad you're not in pain anymore." He paused, listening to the amiable silence, then asked curiously, "Where...is everyone else?"

"They're in their rooms asleep," Gatti shrugged. Smiling at the brunette's strange look, he added, "It's four in the afternoon--I've been sitting up in here with you every day. Every...day? Dallet sweatdropped, Oh, yeah...vampires are nocturnal, aren't they? No sense of day or night underground, anyway. "Everyone's been telling me what you did for me when I was too weak to realize it," the blonde murmured, touching one of Dallet's bandaged wrists lightly. The brunette opened his eyes and sighed lightly.

"Listen, you're a nice person, Gatti. I don't know how, but in the short time I've been here I've started thinking of you as a...a friend." The blonde vampire blinked in surprise, then smiled. Dallet looked at him sadly. "Gatti...vagrants don't have friends. We're not supposed to have anybody or anything to care about. If you and Dilandau-sama and the other all are my friends...I'll never be able to wander away again. I don't think you'd want me to stay here--"

"That's not true!" Gatti interrupted, looking troubled. "Dilandau-sama was talking to us about arranging for you to stay for awhile. If you wanted to, that is."

What do I want? Dallet wondered uneasily. If anyone had asked what he'd wanted before he met these people--these vampires--he would have come up with an answer immediately: freedom. The desire for freedom, for an escape from the trials of relationships and money and the redundancies of everyday life, was what drove most vagrants to their chosen lifestyle. That, or perhaps an enduring wanderlust, which Dallet hadn't ever felt as keenly as most claimed to.

do Dallet wondered uneasily. If anyone had asked what he'd wanted before he met these people--these vampires--he would have come up with an answer immediately: freedom. The desire for freedom, for an escape from the trials of relationships and money and the redundancies of everyday life, was what drove most vagrants to their chosen lifestyle. That, or perhaps an enduring wanderlust, which Dallet hadn't ever felt as keenly as most claimed to.

But now the life he remembered seemed lonelier, less free of others and more burdened by himself. Only the urge to move, to never stay in one place for too long a time, motivated him to answer what he did.

"I...I can't."

Gatti nodded, "It's okay. It was only if you wanted to." But Dallet could see the sadness stirring in those hazy eyes--the vampire must think of him as a friend, too. They had spent quite a bit of time together in the past few days, and talked a great deal.

He doesn't even really know me, though, Dallet thought. None of them do...all they've ever seen is what I show them. How can I explain my reasons for leaving if I don't even understand them fully myself?

Dallet thought.

"Well, if you're going to go wandering off by yourself again, at least stay until your injuries heal up." Dallet opened his mouth to protest, but the vampire's mesmerizing eyes stunned him into silence. "Please, Dallet," the blonde said seriously, "Let me take care of you for once."

The vagrant gave a faint sigh.

"I can't even sit up on my own right now," he pointed out, trying to sound annoyed at his condition. A touch of happiness betrayed itself in his voice, though, as he finished, "So I may as well stay--I don't really have a choice, right?"

Gatti smiled slightly, "Right."

Dallet awoke some time later. A low, happy murmur greeted his ears. It sounded distant--perhaps behind one or more doors. It must be night by now, then. Wait...Gatti's alone! He sat up abruptly, then grimaced as a wave of dizziness washed over him. "Agh..." He sank down onto his back again, deciding he'd rather not faint and hit his head right now. Gatti's alright now, he reminded himself, It worked--he doesn't need you to take care of him anymore.

The sound of the door opening distracted him from his thoughts. A small, vaguely familiar whimper drifted to his ears, then a very familiar voice: "Wh-why did I haf--h-have to drink that stuff? I don't want to be a vampire, Viole..." Blinking, Dallet glanced at the voice's owner and smiled. Apparently, Guimel had been practicing speaking with fangs in the time since the vagrant had last seen him. The fluffy-haired vampire was being led into the room by Viole, who looked fondly exasperated.

"I don't think it's reversible," the purple-haired boy murmured, searching through a sea of small medicine bottles on the counter. "Besides, you should be glad to be Dilandau-sama's childe--if you're careful, you can live forever."

"Y-yeah, but if I geth...g-get sick all the time, what's the point?"

"You'll probably get used to drinking blood eventually, you know..." Dallet spoke up, sighing. Both vampires turned in surprise, and before the brunette could do more than blink they were at the side of his bed.

"Dallet, I thought you'd never wake up!" Viole glommed onto him immediately. Guimel sweatdropped, standing there looking a bit awkward.

When the purple-haired vampire finally ended his hug, the green-eyed boy finally said, "H...hi again. Um…are you feeling okay?"

"I--" Dallet began, but was interrupted by Viole.

Frowning, he scolded, "Don't you dare ever do that again! Good god, Dallet, after I warned you and everything!" Dallet stared at him.

"You...how could you have known what I planned to do to save Gatti? I didn't tell anybody but Dilandau-sama about the idea--"

"Not the silver!" Viole scowled. He picked up Dallet's left arm, pointing at the bandage around his wrist, "How could you do that when you knew you'd already lost a dangerously large amount of blood?" Dallet sweatdropped, sighing a little.

"Gatti's life mattered more than passing out, Viole. Speaking of...where is he?" Viole brightened immediately at mention of the blonde.

Grinning fangedly--the first time Dallet remembered seeing his teeth, actually--he answered, "He's with Dilandau-sama and the others. I will tell them you're awake--just a moment!"

Cheerily, he hurried out the door. Dallet glanced at Guimel, who was looking a bit ill, asking, "Did you ever finally drink anything?" The sour look the fluffy-haired boy gave him answered that clearly enough.

"I think this lifestyle's going to make me sick a lot," the green-eyed boy admitted, sighing.

There was a swish as the red velvet curtain over the door was brushed aside, and Dallet quite suddenly found himself surrounded by grateful vampires.

"Hey, Dallet—thanks for saving Gatti." A hug from Migel certainly was unexpected… "So you're staying around for awhile, huh? Better watch out, or you could end up with fangs, heheh…" Dallet sweatdropped. So much for the unexpected…

"If any of you tries biting me, just remember that silver saucer I have…I'm sure you haven't moved it, since touching it hurts you all so much." A rather crooked smile was all he received in reply from Migel, as the other brunette ruffled the vagrant's hair lightly.

"Sure, sure. I wouldn't embrace you anyway—probably bitter-blooded."

"No he's not," Viole corrected in a sweet tone that suggested he'd sampled some of the vagrant's blood sometime to be so in the know.

Gatti smiled sweetly, too, chiming in, "Actually, it's not bitter at all."

Migel looked at Dallet innocently, "They always lead me on about such things…the only way to keep from wondering endless is to find out for myself!"

"…Get used to wondering." Look at this—I'm sitting here joking with them about how my blood tastes! A week ago if I heard my own thoughts now I'd have put myself in the mental hospital…

In the lull in conversation, the brunette glanced at Dilandau and noticed that the albino vampire looked distracted. I wonder what's wrong…? He should be happy Gatti's back to normal, shouldn't he? I even accepted his invitation to stay for awhile, at least until my injuries heal…whatever it is he's thinking of, it's not my fault, then.

Being a rather introverted person himself, he decided not to pry—Dilandau had a right to his private thoughts, same as anyone else.

Dallet left seven days later. The vampires had drifted one by one to sleep, each fondly wishing him a good day as they went, and the keep was still and silent. The vagrant had memorized the location of the exit when Viole had cheerily given him a tour two days before. It had taken a week, but finally he was strong enough to leave...'to escape', as his mind dared to put it.

It wasn't that he disliked the vampires' company--on the contrary, he found himself growing too close to them. Having wandered all his life, this feeling of attachment made him insecure--it felt like a shackle, a cage that barred his way to freedom. He'd spent all week thinking about it.

Gatti and Viole will probably miss me, he thought unhappily, stepping up to ground level for the first time since this ordeal began. Migel...I hope he doesn't take this as a human betrayal, too. I didn't mean it like that... Guimel doesn't know me very well, but he doesn't seem the sort to hold grudges. And I'm pretty sure Dilandau-sama will keep his word and let me leave since Gatti recovered. After all, they don't need me anymore.

he thought unhappily, stepping up to ground level for the first time since this ordeal began.

He shushed out the words, 'but I need them' almost before he'd finished thinking them. His was a separate world from theirs. They lived an immortal, secretive nocturnal life, very solitary. Very firmly tied-down.

Dallet had only stayed in one place as long as he'd done this time once before, and that was because the doctors at the hospital refused to released him until he could at least walk on his own. I couldn't live like them--they couldn't live like me. When it's impossible for one to exist like the other, neither could ever compromise even if they wanted to.

It had been the right thing to do. He had left them a note briefly explaining his actions in what he hoped wasn't a hurtful way. Defining his need to wander, his fear of being tied down, was very difficult to do without sounding selfish. But he couldn't help it, any more than his new friends could help their thirst for blood.

Tiny splashes echoed down the brightening streets, a first hint of rain. The vagrant smiled a little--he'd missed the weather. The clouds, stained a brilliant crimson edged with peach, sprawled out across the horizon before him--one of many unclaimed horizons that he had yet to wander.

--End Chapter 10

"Some things I'll never do

Just because I can

When you've been hurt, too,

Then you'll understand."

Hurt Akugi! Volume 10

----Akugi #24

Narrator: Only the urge to move, to never stay in one place for too long a time, motivated him to answer what he did.

Dallet: You'd only want me here if you have sedatives handy.

----Akugi #25

Gatti: "Please, Dallet. Let me take care of you for once."

Dallet: (Decides he likes the sound of this) "Hmm….well, okay, but only if you give me a foot massage, operate full room service, get some more lights in here—I mean, c'mon, candles?—and change all this tacky red velvet to purple silk."

Gatti: (Sarcastically) "I don't suppose you'd like fries with that?"

Dallet: (examining his nails "Nah, too fattening. But a manicure sounds really good about now…"

Gatti: (Sweatdrop) Maybe it'd be better if he left…

----Akugi # 26

Viole: "Besides, you should be glad to be Dilandau-sama's childe--if you're careful, you can live forever."

Guimel: (Worriedly) "Yeah, but what about WRINKLES?"

----Akugi #27

Viole: "Not the silver!" (Scowls) "How dare you eat up all the chocolate in the keep without giving me any?!"

Guimel: OO "Chocolate…?"

----Akugi #28

Migel: "Sure, sure. I wouldn't embrace you anyway—probably bitter-blooded."

Viole: (Sweetly) "No he's not."

Gatti: (Smiling sweetly) "Actually, it's not bitter at all."

Viole: (Nods) "In fact, it's so sweet I'd suspect he lives on candy!"

Migel: (Blinks at Dallet) "Then why aren't you fat?"

Dallet: (Sweatdrop) "Since when do vampires care if people are fat? Aren't you happy as long as they have a jugular vein?"

All Vampires: (In unison, dreamily) "Ooooooh…..jugular….."

Dallet: (Gives them a creeped-out look and covers his neck)

AN: Wow….and thus Hurt reaches the two-digit chapters! I hope you enjoyed this chapter—don't worry, there will be a next one regardless of the finalized feel of this one. This's just the end of the beginning. Thanks for your loyal readership, and I hope you continue to read and enjoy this AU vampire friendship fic, as I will continue writing it anyway. Review, please, if you would be so kind!

--Threshie