Will forced his feet to move and walked into the elevator. Once the elevator opened on the ground floor, he walked out of the hospital in a daze. His plan to see Brian completely forgotten.
He walked numbly to his car, and managed to get in, close the door and lay his head on the steering before the dam broke and sobs racked his body.
Every single feeling that he had pushed down, held back, and locked away for the last year and a half came rushing back to him, bombarding him with the pain that he had somehow managed to ignore. If he thought he had been miserable all this time, well he was fooling himself, he hadn't known miserable until now. He hadn't realized what a favor Paul had done him, leaving town after dumping him. Will had thought foolishly that he could not be anymore miserable, that things could not be any worse and he would feel better if he could just see Paul from time to time, to know that he was okay and happy. He knew now that he had been wrong, incredibly wrong. Seeing him, and not being able to touch him was much worse than he ever could have imagined.
He stayed there, in the parking lot, for much longer than he intended. When he finally pulled himself together it was late afternoon, approaching dusk and Arianna would already be at home. He sighed and headed home himself, even though that was the last place on earth he wanted to be.
He quietly let himself in, walked upstairs and peeked in Arianna's room. She was there, sitting in the middle of her bed with a plate of cheese and crackers balanced in her lap, TV on her favorite cartoon. Normally he would caution her about too much TV, but today he didn't have the strength for the fight that he knew would come with that observation. So he just continued on down the hall.
He went in his room and was relieved to see that it was dark and deserted. He went in, stripped down to his underwear and put on some sweats and a tee shirt and then quietly left the room. He climbed the stairs and found an empty unused room, he closed and locked the door and climbed into the bed and pulled the covers up to his neck.
He couldn't deal with Sonny tonight, didn't even want to look at him, him or his bitch of a mother. He turned on his side and closed his eyes, he was mentally and emotionally exhausted. He fell asleep almost instantly.
Hours later his phone buzzed continually on the bedside table, the irritating vibration rousing him from his sleep.
He glanced at the alarm clock, and was surprised to see that it was after midnight.
He unlocked his phone. There were several missed calls. Marlena, Neil, a couple from T, and a total of from Sonny. Then he opened his texts. All 15 of them.
He had various messages. Marlena asking him to call her, she wanted to make sure he was okay. Brian saying he missed him, T asking where he was…twice…. damn he had completely forgotten he was supposed to go over to T's after Arianna went to sleep. A ridiculous amount of texts from Sonny, asking where he was, threatening him, he better not be off somewhere screwing around, asking if he was coming home, telling him to not bother coming home.…. And Neil telling him that Sonny was looking for him. Neil again asking if he was okay…
The phone buzzed again, in his hand. It was Neil calling again. He answered the call.
"Yeah?" He said gruffly.
"Will, thank god you're okay. Where are you?" he asked without preamble.
"I am at home, why?" He said.
"Will, no one could find you. We were all worried sick." Neil said.
"What do you mean no one could find me, why are you looking for me?" He asked.
"Sonny called me looking for you." Neil said. "So I called T to see if you were with him, he said you were supposed to come over but never did, and he couldn't get in touch with you either, So I got worried. I called and texted and you didn't answer, I was just about to go over to the hospital and check with Brian."
Will frowned. "Oh." He said. "I'm sorry Sonny bothered you, I am at home." he said "Look, it's late, I will talk to you later okay? "
"Will, are you okay?" Neil asked.
"Not really." Will said. "I don't really want to talk about it though, can you meet me in the morning at the coffee shop in the square at 8am, we will talk about it then." He said.
"Okay, I will be there." Neil said before he disconnected the call.
Will laid the phone to the side and snuggled back down. Sonny could figure it out for himself. He wasn't ready to face anyone.
The next morning Will woke early. He didn't feel much better, his eyelids felt like they were lined with sandpaper but he forced himself to get up. He threw the covers back and got to his feet. He left the room, leaving the door opened so the maid would know the room had been used. He went back down to the room he shared with Sonny, Intent on changing clothes, getting Arianna and getting out of there in short order.
Of course, Sonny was there, yelling at someone on the phone. "I don't care what you have to do, just find him." he snapped.
Will walked in and Sonny looked at him anger coloring his cheeks. "Where the hell have you been?" he demanded. Then he turned his attention back to whoever was on the phone, "Nevermind he is here." he ended the call and slung the phone down on the bed.
Will ignored his question and went into the closet to find himself some clothes.
Sonny followed him. "Didn't you hear me, I asked where the hell you have been?" he asked again. "I want to know where you were, I called you, texted you, checked with all of your friends. I called Hope, to find you."
"I was here Sonny, I slept in another room last night." Will said.
"Why the hell would you do that?" Sonny asked.
"Because I wanted space." Will said. "Now if you will excuse me, I am going to shower, see my daughter and go to work." he said, stepping around him and walking into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it for a few minutes. With the memory of Paul so fresh in his mind, his misery at his current situation was even more pronounced.
When he came out, Sonny was gone. He gathered his belongings and walked down to Arianna's room. She was still asleep. He went in and sat down beside her.
For a few minutes he just sat quietly and watched her sleep. She was beautiful and looked so peaceful He hated to wake her. "Hey Princess." he whispered, rubbing small circles on her back. "Time to wake up." he said.
She stirred and turned over. He smiled down at her. She smiled back and reached up to hug him.
He hugged her back and then pulled her covers back. "Come on, up, dressed, and teeth brushed in 10 minutes and I will take you to school myself… deal?" he said.
"YAY! Yes Deal!" she cheered, bounding out of the bed, and hurrying into her closet. Will sent up a silent thank you. He was fortunate that she loved school as much as she did.
Will made his way downstairs and went into the kitchen, he poured some coffee into his travel mug with some cream and sugar and then gave it a quick stir and popped the lid on. When he picked up the cup and turned to leave, Adrienne was lurking there, blocking the door.
"Adrienne." he said, attempting to go around her.
She stepped in front of him. "Just a minute." she said.
"I really don't have time for this." Will said. "I have to get Arianna to school."
"This won't take long." She said. "I think it is about time you stopped all this running around with Neil and whoever else you have been spending your time with and started concentrating on your relationship with my son, don't you?"
"You really want to know what I think?" Will snapped. "I think you should mind your own damn business. That's exactly what I think, I don't need you asking Jennifer for a break for me, or telling me when to come and go, or who I should be spending my time with. Whatever is going on between Sonny and myself has nothing at all to do with you, and there is nothing that you can do or say to make things any better. Sonny may let you run his life, but you are not running mine." he said walking around her and out of the kitchen without another word.
Arianna was at the front door putting her coat on. "Ready to go Princess?" he asked.
She nodded enthusiastically and picked up her backpack.
"Let's go then." He said leading her out the door.
After dropping her off at school he went to the square to meet Neil.
Neil stood up, but Will waved him off. He sat down and placed his cup on the table, toying with the handle.
"So what happened last night?" Neil asked. "I hate to say it but the fourth time Sonny called me last night he seemed genuinely concerned. And you were there at the mansion the whole time, How did he not see you?"
"I slept in one of the spare rooms, there are only about a hundred of them there." Will said.
"Ahh." Neil said. "Why? If you don't mind me asking."
"Besides the need to be as far away from Sonny as possible all the time?" Will said. "Paul is in town."
"What?" Neil asked. "How do you know, why is he here. Did you see him, did you talk to him, what did he say?"
"One question at a time." Will said. "You are making my head spin."
"Okay… did you see him?" Neil asked.
"Yeah, I went to see Grandma yesterday after our lunch." Will said. "He was getting out of the elevator when I got on."
"What did he say?" Neil asked.
"Not much." Will said. He asked how I am, and about Sonny and Arianna."
"What did you say?" Neil asked.
"That we are all fine." Will said.
"LIAR." Neil said. "You are far from fine." he accused. "How long is he staying?"
"I don't know." Will said. "He just said he just got back to town. I don't know if he is staying for good or leaving again. And I don't care."
"AGAIN I CALL BULLSHIT." Neil said. "I can look at you and tell that this has really thrown you,"
"It doesn't matter." Will said.
"The hell it doesn't." Neil said. "I bet you wanted to jump him."
"Well Yeah, but that was just a physical reaction. He hurt me remember." Will said. "I will never forgive him for that."
Neil shook his head, "You will someday… And I predict that it will be sooner rather than later."
"Nope, nah huh." Will said. "I won't put myself through that again."
"Yeah okay lover boy. We will see how long it takes you to leave Sonny now." Neil teased.
"Shut up." Will said. "I have to get to work, I have that new assignment that I have to get started on."
"Okay, see ya." Neil said.
Will got up and waved as he walked off.
Neil watched him go, This was really the last thing that WIll needed right now. He was just now coming around to the idea that maybe he didn't have to stay with Sonny for the rest of his life. He was juggling relationships with two different men, both of which had real potential, and now Paul was back, complicating matters even further. He sighed and was about to get up when T sat down across from him.
"Hey." He said. "Have you seen Will?"
"Good morning to you too T." Neil said.
"Sorry Good morning." T said. "Have you seen Will?"
Neil chuckled, "Yeah, He just left for work, he went that way. If you hurry you can probably catch him."
T remained in the chair across from him. "Is he okay?" he asked instead.
Neil shrugged. "Sure, I mean I guess so. Why do you ask?" he said.
"He stood me up last night." T said dejectedly. "I think he was with Brian."
"He wasn't with me." Brian said sitting down in the third chair at the table.
Neil groaned. This was going to be fun. He didn't know if he was up for this. He certainly never signed up to be the referee between Will's conquests.
"Hey Neil." Brian said, before turning his attention to the other man. "You are T right?" he said. "I know we met once way back but we never actually had a conversation." he stuck his hand out to T.
T looked at him, then shook his hand. "Yeah, and you are Brian, I remember you." he said. "Will really wasn't with you last night?"
"Nope." Brian said holding up two fingers, "scouts honor."
"Where was he, then?" T asked.
"How should I know?" Brian asked. "I was stopping by to ask Neil if he has seen him."
"Yeah, I saw him this morning and he was on his way to work." Neil said. "But look, I think I need to tell you two something, you need to hear it from somebody and I don't think it is going to be Will…. At least not right away."
"What?" they said in unison.
"Paul is back." Neil said. "Will saw him last night and it has really messed with his head. He is confused and he is going to be dealing with a lot of unresolved feelings. So the two of you need to take it easy on him. "
Brian and T looked at each other. Neither one of them sure what to think.
"What's he doing back?" T finally asked. "So Will was with him, they are already back together?"
"No." Neil said, "But Will ran into him yesterday at the hospital and it really upset him."
"Oh." Brian said. "Wait Will was at the hospital yesterday, I didn't see him."
"Is he okay?" T asked again.
"He isn't himself, that's all." Neil said. "He is confused about what he wants."
"Will hasn't really talked to me alot about Paul." Brian said. "What really happened with them?"
"I get the feeling, you and Will don't talk much at all." Neil quipped.
T rolled his eyes. It wasn't anything he didn't already know, but it wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear either.
Brian flashed his killer smile, but didn't confirm or deny. "So is Will still hung up on this guy or what?" He asked.
Neil nodded. "Honestly yeah, I think so… but I was beginning to see a change in Will."
"Meaning?" T said.
"Just that I think eventually he could have been happy with one of you." He said motioning between the two of them. He looked at his watch. "Okay, I have to go." He said. "You two behave yourselves." He called as he walked off.
Brian and T sat there for several long minutes, not saying anything. Finally Brian spoke, "Do you know this guy?" He asked. "Paul, I mean."
T shook his head. "No, I don't know him personally." He answered. "But I know Will, have known him for a long time and Will is still in love with Paul, the way he still talks about him, the hurt in his eyes, the lingering hope that Will tries so hard to keep at bay…. All of that makes it painfully obvious."
"You aren't making me feel all warm and fuzzy here." Brian complained.
"And you think this news makes me happy?" T countered. "I am already sharing Will with you."
Brian chuckled. "WELL….technically I am the one sharing with you." He said. "Will and I were already umm…"
"Sleeping together…. yeah I know." T finished for him. "I didn't plan on coming back here and spilling my guts to Will, guilting him into whatever it is that we have, I just wanted to come back, check on him, and rebuild our friendship."
"Hey!" Brian said. "You didn't guilt Will into anything, he doesn't feel that way, you know that right?"
"Yeah, I know." T said. "But I am also smart enough to know he doesn't feel the same way I feel. This is Will's way of moving on.. safely. He knows that I love him and that no matter what happens we are always going to be best friends."
Brian nodded.. "Well if it makes you feel any better, I think being with me is just more or less physical gratification, and maybe a little bit about how satisfying it will be when Sonny finds out."
"Don't sell yourself short." T said. "I think you mean more to him that you know."
"I'm guessing that it isn't going to matter much with Paul back, but thank you for saying that." Brian said.
"We need to see this guy for ourselves." T said. "Scope out our competition."
"Sounds like a plan." Brian said. "Any ideas?"
"We don't need one." T said, inclining his head toward the center of the square.
John was walking toward them with someone that he didn't recognize. He had his arm threw around his shoulder and he was beaming.
"That him?" Brian asked.
"Yeah I would bet my life on it." He said, "Come on." He got out of his seat and Brian followed close behind.
T walked right up to John, "Mr Black, great to see you again." He said holding out his hand.
John shook his hand. "Tad, Right?" He said. "You used to work at Common grounds and Club TBD right, Will's friend?"
"Yeah, that's me." T said. "I just moved back to town a few months ago. Oh this is my friend Brian." He said motioning to Brian.
"Hey Brian." John said shaking his hand too. "I'm sorry John said, where are my manners, this is my Son, Paul Narita." He said introducing the other man.
T and Brian both shook hands with Paul. "So you are friends of Will's, Paul asked.
"Yeah something like that." Brian said.
"Well it was nice to meet you both." Paul said, not particularly caring for the way they seemed to be assessing him.
"Yeah, same here… have a nice visit home." T said.
Paul turned back and smiled, "Oh I'm not visiting." He said. "I am home for good."
John and Paul walked off leaving Brian and T to stare after them.
"Well that ain't good." Brian said.
"Not at all." T agreed.