(A/N: Finally! Writer's block is horrible.)
Opal Koboi sat at her computer (because where else?), sweating buckets, which was not unusual at this point. The reason for this specific 'sweatfest' was that her prized puppet, Artemis Fowl, had not yet returned from his requested assignment to Fowl Manor. She cursed herself for neglecting to send him with communications equipment.
"TIB! LIB! GET IN HERE!" The enthralled pixies entered mere seconds after she called. The wonders of runes…
Opal had stopped being nervous and had transitioned to furious.
"Where is Fowl?" she demanded.
Tib, the older of the two, bowed low, as per regulations, and said, "We do not know, mistress Opal."
Lib, the younger and unfortunately smarter one, also bowed and gave an idea. "Perhaps, mistress, you could access the Fowl Manor security cameras to figure out why the Fowl boy is not back."
Opal gave a fake smile. "Thank you, Lib. I wonder why your older brother didn't figure that out?"
Lib inclined his head in acknowledgement and Tib paled as Opal turned back to her computer. In seconds, she was in the Fowl Manor security system. Most of the rooms were empty, except for a few, one of which had the boy's bodyguard in his dojo, meditating. Not unusual. He did that often. Artemis Senior was in his personal study, obviously thinking, judging from his hands wrung through his hair. What caught her eye was the parents' bedroom. The mother and the twins were on the bed, talking to somebody who was just outside of the cameras range. She was about to dismiss it as a family friend or business colleague, when she noticed raven black hair and a pale ear.
I believe it is safe to say that Opal, ah, exploded. Literally. Her anger was such that she released an eruption of black magic, instantly incinerating her computer, Tib and Lib, and the room she was in. When the outburst subsided, she was the only thing left in the room. The room itself was almost gone, with only a few half-melted support beams protruding from the floor. Opal took a few heaving breaths, swore, then made an oath to kill Artemis Fowl. He was no longer of any use to her. She stormed toward Fowl Manor, literally sparking with anger.
Artemis now sat in his study, typing at an impossibly fast speed, inputting every experience of the past two years into his journal. He had received a call from Mulch asking about whether or not he should come back up to get him. Artemis had declined, saying, "There's more important things for me to do here." He stopped when he got to the time he retreated into his consciousness and found Orion, and Holly. He wasn't sure whether or not he should put that in his journal. It is my journal, but there is always the risk that someone will hack it. He eventually decided to put it in, resolving to add a few more layers of encryption.
Journal Entry #163 - 9/8/2014(*) continued. Event date - 9/6/2014
Today, I also found out how to retreat into my consciousness. I found an interesting individual named Orion, who I later found out had been my alter ego when I was under the influence of the Atlantis Complex. He directed me to a facsimile of Holly Short, and instructed me, in essence, to "kiss her awake." I did so, and all my memories were - literally - magically returned. Opal Koboi had kidnapped, mindwiped, and held me for two years, forcing me to do her bidding. Fortunately, she did not issue me a thrall rune as she did so many others. I do not wish to be under that sort of control again. However, if Opal does find and enthrall me, I know that I at least have Orion if things get desperate. Very desperate. On another note, during the return of my memories, I came to a realization. That realization is that I am - dare I say it - in love with Holly Short. Yes, me, Artemis Fowl the Second, in love with the woman that I myself kidnapped no more than 10 years ago. I only hope she reciprocates that love.
End of entry.
Artemis sat back in his chair and cracked his knuckles. He was surprised that he had retained the ability to type as fast as he did. There are some things that never leave you, like the ability to walk, or speak, or love. The last one had come a little late for Artemis, but to him, he reasoned, that meant it would stay that much longer.
Artemis was interrupted from his thoughts by Butler, who informed him that it was time for dinner. Artemis checked his watch, surprised.
"Already? Time flies when you are typing two years' worth of events into your journal."
The bodyguard nodded. "If I may ask, what types of 'events' happened during the two years?"
Artemis gave an exhausted sigh. "Nothing you want to know about."
Butler shrugged. "If you say so." He turned to leave.
"Actually, Butler," Artemis called. Butler faced his charge.
"Yes?"
"There is one thing," Artemis admitted. "What can you tell me about relationships?"
Butler sighed. The day has finally come. He sat in the extra chair next to Artemis'.
"Well, I don't know too much," he said. "This would be a question better suited for your parents. However, I will tell you everything I know. Or are there any specifics?" He was right to ask that question, as Artemis did have one specific 'specific' in mind.
"I do, actually. How would you deal with a relationship that is physically impossible to make work?"
Butler thought. "Artemis," he finally said, smiling. "If you love Holly as much as I think you do, you'll find a way to make your relationship work."
Artemis blanched. "Was it that obvious?"
Butler smirked. "Only to me."
After Butler left for dinner, Artemis thought about what his friend had said. If you love Holly as much as I think you do, you'll find a way. Artemis did love Holly, and more than Butler could ever dream. Without her, he would have been killed ten times over, at least. And he wouldn't have his father, or his mother. Or the twins. Without Holly, Artemis would truly be alone, with the exception of Butler. Even then… Artemis thought, maybe not even him. He stood and joined the rest of his family at the table. He was silent for the duration of the meal until Myles and Beckett had finished eating. He escorted them out of the room and asked Juliet to put them to bed. She happily obliged. Soon, only him, his parents, and Butler were in the room. Artemis Senior raised an eyebrow. "Is there something you want to tell us, son?" he asked.
Artemis Junior replied unfazed. He had been expecting this. "Not tell, per se, I would use the term discuss. I am going to be blunt here, mother. As much as it may surprise you, I am in love."
Angeline's eyes widened in surprise. She smiled. "My little Arty's growing up. Who's the lucky girl?"
Artemis looked at his father, and he nodded minutely.
"You know her. Of her, at least."
Mother's eyes widened even more. "No… Holly?"
Artemis gave his vampire smirk. "Yes, Holly. Who else?"
Artemis' communicator suddenly vibrated against his ring finger. He twisted it to answer the call, then put his thumb in his ear and his little finger in front of his mouth.
"Artemis Fowl speaking. Is this Holly or Foaly?"
"Both," Holly's voice said. "There's been an explosion in Rathdown Park. Want to guess who it is?"
Artemis groaned. "Great. It would seem that she has found out about my absence. What's the ETA?"
Foaly's voice: "Now. We're sending a Retrieval One team."
"D'Arvit."
On cue, the front door exploded, sending shards of wood and glass into the entry hall. Butler started to run to the source, but Artemis stopped him.
"We have no hope of fighting Opal single-handedly. Foaly's sending a Retrieval One team."
"But, Master Artemis, I can't let her destroy the house."
Artemis growled and returned to the call. "When is the team going to be here?"
"At least 5 minutes, 4 if you're lucky."
Too long. They would have to deal with this themselves. They could hear Opal destroying the entry hall, and everybody knew they would be next if they didn't do something, and soon.
Butler instructed Angeline and Artemis Senior to retreat to the safe room underneath the security booth. Then it was just him and Artemis. Just like old times.
"If you're going to go out there, you have to have some sort of protection against Opal's mesmer." Artemis said. He had terminated the call. "The mirrored sunglasses won't work, because her magic is powerful enough that she does not need use of the optical nerve." He noticed one of many pairs of earbuds that Beckett had carelessly left on the table. He picked them up and handed them to Butler.
"Use these. The mesmer is useless if the recipient cannot hear what the fairy is saying, even for somebody as powerful as Opal."
Butler took the earbuds wordlessly, switching his brain to warrior mode. He plugged them into his MP3 player, selected a song, then unholstered his pistol and ran to the entry hall. Behind Artemis, a heat haze was visible just in front of the window.
"Hello, Holly." Artemis said casually, as though they were meeting in a restaurant.
Holly unshielded. "Hey Artemis. That was smart, using the earbuds."
Artemis grinned. "I've been working with Opal for two years. I know how to stop her."
"Speaking of Opal…" Holly took out her Neutrino and disappeared. Artemis ran into the entry hall, which was in chaos. The suit of armor that Butler had worn when he defeated the troll was in pieces on the floor, as were most of the others, along with a chunk of the stairs. Most of the entry hall was on fire. Butler himself was hiding behind the blown-out portion of the stairs taking potshots at Opal. She deflected them with bursts of magic, sending them careening into walls and through windows. She saw Artemis and yelled angrily, sending a burst of magic straight at his face. Artemis had no choice but to deflect it. He quickly made a complex pattern with his fingers and pushed outward. Blue sparks gathered at his shoulders and wound themselves around his arms, rapidly gathering speed. As the magic left his outstretched fingers, it was traveling at several hundred miles per hour, enough to deflect Opal's burst of magic straight back at her, and knock Artemis onto his back. It hit her in the face, and Opal flew backwards, crashing into a support pillar. Fortunately, it held.
Artemis stood. Everything was silent now, apart from a few small crashes and the crackling of fire. Holly had unshielded, and she and Butler stared at him in awe.
Artemis looked at them, panting. "I can explain."
(A/N: Arty has magic! What do you think will happen next? Also, about the date, The Last Guardian came out in 2012, and since Artemis was gone for two years, and the story is set at the beginning of TLG, I saw fit to make the year 2014)