Ch. 10

The Bronco moved down at the road at an unhurried pace. The sun was getting low, casting an array of colors over the land. There wasn't another car in sight as far as Walt could see. He glanced across the seat at his newest deputy. Her gaze was directed out her window. Her sunglasses shielded her eyes from the glare of the sun and from him. She had been unusually quiet today. If there was anything he had learned about her over the past two months, it was that she almost always had something to say about any given situation. As the day had worn on, she had become more and more pensive. They had been on the road a lot. The silence offered no refuge from ones inner thoughts. He knew that better than anyone.

"Everything all right?"

The sound of his voice broke the silence they had existed in for the past half hour. He saw her startle slightly but her face remained fixed away from him.

"Yeah."

It was the least convincing 'yeah' he'd ever heard. He waited. He excelled at waiting. After a long moment, she finally turned her face towards him. The low sun cast an odd glow over her hair and face, giving her an other worldly glow. Walt cleared his throat and pushed those thoughts from his mind. He frequently found himself admiring her and he knew he couldn't afford to indulge in such thoughts. That was a dangerous path to even consider.

"How did your wife feel about your job?"

Walt felt a slight lurch in his stomach. She was the only one who asked him questions like these. There was nothing but curiosity in her tone and a touch of melancholy.

"Uh...what do you mean?"

She removed her sunglasses and hung them over the collar of her shirt, as she often did. Now her eyes were fixated on him. The glasses had provided a barrier between him and those eyes. Now he felt almost like he was in the sights of a weapon. Her eyes drew him in, without fail. Always.

"You were married for a long time, right?"

"Yep."

He tried to stay focused on the road.

"Did she hate your job?"

His brow furrowed. He hadn't given that much thought in a long time.

"I wouldn't say she hated it. There were a lot of aspects she didn't care for. The danger, for one. Also the hours and time away from home."

"Did she make it known?"

"Once in a while. I suspect she mostly suffered in silence. If it interfered, she would say something."

Vic let out a heavy sigh.

"My husband hates my job."

Walt nodded. Now it all made sense. She spoke sparingly about her husband. He knew the relationship tended to be rocky. He also knew her husband was gone a lot and he could usually tell when the man was home. If affected her mood greatly at times.

"I'm sure he doesn't hate it, Vic."

Her eyes were sharp, reflecting anger.

"Oh, he hates it. All he does when he's home is bitch about it. Everything about it. The hours, the pay. You know, I was a cop in Philly when we met. He knew what he was getting into so I don't get why he thinks he has the right to complain. It's not like I surprised him with all this shit."

She paused and Walt remained silent.

"I think he was hoping when we moved, I would stay home or something. Maybe get a different job. I was stuck at home the first month we lived here and I was bored out of my skull. I can't just sit around and do nothing."

A small smile played on his lips. He couldn't imagine her sitting at home being a housewife. It seemed so out of character for her. He mused at how well he felt like he knew her.

"What?"

He glanced at her.

"What?"

She rolled her eyes.

"You got that smart ass looking smile on your face."

"You know, most people don't called their bosses smart asses."

He was treated to another eye roll and a fake smile.

"Just calling it like I see it. Walt, I know you're not one of these backwards assholes who thinks women are only good for cooking, cleaning, and making babies so don't defend him."

"I wasn't going to, Vic. In my experience, marriage works best when either party does what makes them happy and the other supports them. Even if they don't necessarily agree."

She gave him a small smile and then looked back out the window. He barely heard her next words.

"Maybe I should marry you, then."

x

Vic stood on the porch of the cabin. It was funny how easily she had started to think of this place as home. She had started out spending the night here and there and it has evolved to her rarely staying anywhere else. She had hated the silence and emptiness of Wyoming when she had first moved here with Sean. She had been raised in an entirely different environment and the vastness of this place was overwhelming. She had come to realize it wasn't as quiet as she thought. The sounds were just of a different nature. It did lack the buzz of traffic, the cacophony of the big city. But when she listened, really listened, she heard the sounds here. The singing of birds, the general hum of nature, a friendly hello from one neighbor to another. The pace here was unhurried. The views here were unbeatable. The air here was so much fresher to inhale.

Now, a handful of years, a couple of addresses, one marriage over, and one marriage begun she couldn't imagine not being here in this place. Sure it needed better radio stations and a good pizza place but those things were superficial. She couldn't imagine her child not growing up in this cabin on this swath of land with this view and these sounds. She wanted her daughter to grow and develop with same sense of freedom and peace she had found here.

In her mind, she knew that he was afraid. Personal fear had always been one of his biggest handicaps. Since she had known him, it had been something that would freeze him, cause him to shut down. She had, since the beginning, pushed him to overcome those fears. It was not in her nature to accept the status quo. It was a wonder he hadn't fired her early on with some of the comments she had made and some of the pushing she had done. It had more than impressed her when he would rise to the occasion and prove her wrong or show her that he could function in ways she had not seen.

In her heart, she felt conflicted. She had been attracted to him from the start. At first she had pushed it out of her mind. She was married and she wouldn't cheat on her husband. This tall, scruffy cowboy wasn't her type anyway. She had chalked it up to newness until it wasn't new anymore. Until she realized she had found someone who viewed her as a smart, capable equal and treated her as such. He challenged her in the best possible way. Eventually she had realized it wasn't just a passing infatuation. She knew she and Sean were headed down a bad road even before they left Philly. She could admit now she had married him more for stability and security. She loved him but not the way she should. When she had become pregnant with this child, she had finally realized she was going to have everything. The pieces had been like a puzzle finally forming a coherent image. They were a family.

She ran her hands over her stomach. Every decision that she made was going to affect this child. It was no longer just her. That was the complicated part of family. Your life, your decisions affected other people. She had never loved a man like she loved him. No one had ever made her feel as wanted and worthy as he did. She was wondering now if that man was still there and if these pieces could be gathered back up.