A/N: Well, here's the next chapter... which happens to be incredibly short (this is happening an awful lot, lately...I promise to try and make them longer!) So.. anywhoodles... OMG! Chapter 10, guys! It took me over a year, but I did it! Makes me feel like celebrating... (breaks out the Mountain Dew, Jack Daniel's, PBnJs, Doritos, and the good cornbread.. homemade, like mamma used to bake..) Whoooot! Somebody else has to bring the party music, cause my CD collection consists of celtic, classical, Led Zeppelin, Simon and Garfunkel, and PotO... (deep breath) Okay.. back on track.. ears of corn are being snail-mailed to Snufflesgal, Diamond-04, the anonymous Danielle, and Doom Of The Rubber Duck (sorry, you can't be a fangirl right now... last chapter was a one-shot deal.. unless the fates say otherwise.. but you can join them in a sort of.. kindred.. spirit.. thing...).

Rated for: OMG DETH!

DISCLAIMER: Secret Window is not mine.. so don't even think about sueing! I did steal the last two lines from an "iharthdarth" comic on Livejournal, but it's a homage, I swear! (pimps) If you like Star Wars, you should check it out!

Chapter the 10th: Mort and the- Holy Shite! Chico's Dead!

(Now fully composed, Mort gets himself a glass of water)

Mort: You know, for my morning breath... (looks at the night sky) ...without the morning... (notices a window is open) Eek! Ohmygod, bugs could get in!

Audience: Or homicidal Southern maniacs...

(Mort goes outside to investigate with naught but a flashlight to protect him)

Fangirls: Morty doesn't need protection! He's macho and brave!

SmileVampy: Riiiight.

Mort: (gasp) Some villain hast beshattered my porchlight! Scandalous!

SmileVampy: Heheh.

Mort: (humming the Scooby-Doo theme, sees a note tacked to the side of the house) Zoinks! I mean... well, shit. (reading) "Deer Mistur Raynee, u r teh suck. U hav 3 daze. Luv, Shootur." Huh... kinda looks like my handwriting... (sees a tarp with a mysterious lump under it) Hey look, a tarp with a mysterious lump under it! I wonder what it could be...

(An owl hoots ominously)

Mort: (snatches tarp away) What the-?

(It's Chico, with a screwdriver driven clear through his skull. He is dead... obviously.)

Audience: Holy crap!

SmileVampy: (yawn)

Fangirls: (whistle innocently)

(The music swells)

Mort: Oh. My. GOD. (pokes Chico's corpse) Chico? Chico? Are you dead?

Chico's Ghost: Well, duh.

Mort: Noooooo! Chicoooooooo! Grrr... Shooter, I will kill you dead like Chico!

Audience: Errr...?

Mort: Chicooooooo! Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

(Mort falls to his knees with his arms raised and his face toward the heavens... you know, like in that one part of Platoon? Yeah, it's like that... heck, let's cue Barber's "Adagio for Strings" while we're at it!)

(Cue "Adagio for Strings")

Mort: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Chico's Ghost: Oh, dramatize.

To be continued...

A/N: Told ya it was short! My Author's Notes are probably longer! Anyway.. don't expect an update for awhile, cause school starts on Wednesday (Junior year, ahoy!) But rest assured that I will never abandon you for too long... six months, tops... :D

SmileVampy

P.S: Review... ye mongrels! Seriously, 577 hits and only 103 reviews? How many times a day do you guys reread this crap? More importantly, how many of you read and don't review? (You make me sick!) Remember, everytime a person reads a story without reviewing, a fanfic writer falls down dead. And you wouldn't want me to die.. right? RIGHT?