Hi everyone! Thank you for the reviews, even if you were shocked and horrified, haha! I hope you like this chapter. I love you all.
And do I look like Tyra Banks? You don't know? Well I can tell you I don't, so I don't own ANTM. I don't look like Cassandra Clare either, so I don't own Mortal Instruments.
However, I do own the actual mortal cup, lake Idris and the mortal sword. Raziel and I are bffs; he gave me a pony for my birthday.
Yeah. Be jealous.
"I just don't understand," Jace was still rambling on. "The dye should have just bounced right off my hair or something. My golden-ness should have been much more powerful."
"You're really getting annoying," Clary rubbed her temples. Jace had been talking for the past twenty minutes straight, and it wasn't like he was blonde any more, in which case she would have excused his whining.
"I really am glad you are so willing to support me in my time of need Clary," Jace was miffed. "I'll file that away."
"You're perfectly capable of supporting yourself," Clary said sharply. "If you'd stop acting like brunetteism is a crippling disease."
"You tell him Clary," Isabelle sniffled. "Because I just don't have the heart."
The limo pulled into the parking lot of the gym.
"Do we really have to do this now?" Maia complained. "We just got all done up."
"A model's work is never done," Simon said solemnly. "We must persevere."
"Come on Jace," Alec said, when everyone started getting out. "You've got to walk. I can't carry you around everywhere."
"I'm hurt Alec," Jace said in a wounded voice. "I'm really hurt. I think of all that I've done for you, and you won't even carry me around everywhere? That's like a stab through the heart from a blade in the back that also happens to pierce the heart which may or may not kill the person, depending on whether or not the body is found."
"What?" Alec ran a hand through his hair, momentarily forgetting it was pink.
"Just leave him in the limo," Magnus said. "He'll be safe. From hair dye, crazy trainers, and even zombies, if there were to suddenly be an apocalypse of the undead variety."
"To kill a zombie, you have to destroy the brain." Jace said automatically. "Not stab it in the heart like Alec is doing to me."
"Ok, fine." Alec snapped. "I'll carry you." The guilt was too overwhelming.
Soon everyone was standing in the training room. Except for Jace, who was laid out on a mat.
Bat sauntered in. "Well don't you ladies look niiiiice. And look at the sissy boys, all gussied up." His gaze went back and forth from Magnus to Alec. "Pink hair? Rainbows? What, are you two boyfriends?" He laughed.
"Is that what you fantasize about at night?" Magnus deadpanned, while Alec opened his mouth and then shut it again.
Bat was unable to think of a suitable comeback, so he settled for a threat. "You'll regret that one Rainbow Bright," he pointed menacingly. "I'll have you begging for mercy as you kneel before me."
"Save it for when you touch yourself hon," Magnus checked his nails, completely unconcerned.
Bat realized he should probably quit this bantering…while he was ahead and all. "Today you'll all be working out with me. If there's a hell, you might want to…" he tried to remember the line. "…you might want to…this is going to be hell! So prepare for the pain!"
Simon turned to whisper to Aline. "Am I the only one that appreciates these inspirational speeches? They're so motivating."
It was at this point that Bat noticed Jace's immobility. "Get up Blondie-er…Brownie!" he commanded. "I said to stand at attention!"
"Go jump in a poisoned lake," Jace said, staring up at the ceiling.
Bat was looking decidedly murderous, so Clary interjected hastily. "What Jace means, is that the boys think you're being really hard on them. They'd like a day to run their own workout."
Bat scoffed at that idea. "And they have to get a pretty girl to speak for them, they're just that pathetic. I could probably take on all of them at once. But here's the deal: if one of them is brave enough to challenge me in hand to hand combat, and can take me down, you can run your own workouts for the rest of the week."
This information was absorbed with interest. "But Jace is useless, and Sebastian isn't here," Simon pointed out fretfully. "He was our best hope!"
"Where is the little slacker?" Bat demanded, just realizing Sebastian was gone.
"He's at a doctor's appointment," Simon supplied helpfully.
Bat grunted. "Maybe they'll cure him of his sissy. Although I maintain that the only cure for that is pain. Lots of pain."
"In that case, he may well be on his way to recovery right at this moment," Magnus hypothesized.
Raphael looked bored. "I'll fight this babosa." He stepped forward. "Let's get on with it."
"Ha!" Bat snorted with laughter. "Look at this twelve year old that thinks he can fight me! This will be like David versus the mighty Goliath!"
"…apparently he's forgotten how that one turned out," Jace commented from the floor.
Raphael and Bat faced each other on the large blue mat. As the much smaller boy waited for Bat to make the first move, he taunted him a bit.
"Tu eres más feo que el culo de un mono." He raised an eyebrow, waiting.
Maia whispered, translating for the group. "You are uglier than the butt of a monkey,"
"I don't speak polish," Bat complained, glaring at Raphael. "But how do you say, 'I'm about to bring the pain?'"
"You say, 'tengo ganas' Raphael informed him.
"That means, 'I'm horny," Maia quietly informed the others.
"TENGO GAAAANAAAAAS!" Bat bellowed before launching himself at Raphael.
Raphael dodged easily, leaving Bat spinning in confusion. The boy had moved so fast!
"You slippery slip of a sissy!" Bat shouted. "Fight me!" He threw a powerful punch that Raphael stopped with his hand. The muscled young man stared in shock as his arm was forced down.
But Bat still had a free arm. "Time to ruin your pretty face," he swung with his other hand.
But Raphael moved aside, and used the forward momentum from the punch to throw Bat to the ground, face first. Bat tried to get his arms under him to prop his body up, but Raphael kicked them out from under him, before planting a foot on the behemoth's back.
"Owned, bitch." Raphael smoothed down his shirt, looking pleased with himself. After basking in his victory for a moment, he stepped off the beaten warrior and went to sit on a stationary bike. He began flipping through a magazine on the console.
Bat slunk out with his tail between his legs, and the contestants stared at the small figure sitting on the bike.
They knew they were in the presence of a man destined for greatness.
When they had all decided they'd had enough, they went back out to their trusty limo. It was always there waiting for them. It was always pink.
Simon hopped in first. He pressed the button to talk to the driver. "Sorry we took so long Samuel, there was a bit of a celebration."
"That's alright," the voice crackled back. "I've learned patience over the years."
"Still sure you don't want to come out?" the boy frowned.
"I'm sure." The man replied.
"I hope you change your mind," Simon said. "Can you try to take a long way back? I think everyone is feeling slightly happier with each other than usual, and we should milk this.
"If you want," Samuel agreed.
Simon thanked him and leaned back in the seat. He wasn't going to talk to Samuel in front of the others. The driver seemed shy.
Soon, they were on the road. Simon looked out the window an hour later, and saw they were driving on a windy empty road through the woods in the middle of nowhere. Talk about taking the long way back.
"I think we're in Connecticut," he commented.
"Why is this taking so loooong?" Maia's shoulders slumped.
"Let's sing a song together," Simon suggested. "Music makes people happy. That's why I'm in a band. Also, because Eric said chicks like boys that are in bands."
"Let's don't and say we did," Jace responded.
"I can't sing," Clary said. "You know that Simon."
"I think singing is a good idea," Aline supported Simon. "Who cares if you can or not?"
"I know the perfect song," Maia smiled and turned on her ipod.
As the first notes filled the car, everyone stopped arguing and listened as Maia started singing in a very lovely voice.
"Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely wooorld, she took the midnight train going a-ny where,"
Simon grinned and started singing. "Just a city boy, born and raised in sooouth detroi-oit, he took the midnight train going a-ny where,"
It seemed everyone was moved by this song, and they all grooved out to the guitar solo.
"A singer in a smoky room," Magnus started in with the singer, "the smell of wine and cheap perfume," He smiled. Ah, Journey. It was great.
Alec chimed in. "For a smile they can share the night, it goes on and on and on,"
Aline and Clary joined in singing with the other four.
Strangers, waiting,
Up and down the boooulevard their sha-dows, searching in the niiiiight
streetlight, people,
livin just to find emotion,
Hiding somewhere in the NIIIIIIIGGGGHHTTT!
Raphael started in on a solo.
"Workin hard, to get my fill, Everybody wants a thri-ill, paying anything to roll the dice, just one, more time."
Aline began, "Some will win, some will lose. Some are born to sing the blu-ues. But the movie never ends it goes on and on and on and on…"
By this point everyone was singing.
Strangers, waiting
Up and down the boooulevard
Their shadows, searching in the ni-iiight
Streetlight, people
Living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
Don't stop, believing
Hold on to that feeling,
Streetlight, peo-puuuuuu-uuuuulll
Don't stop, believing
Hold ooooon yeah yeah
Streetlight, peo-puullll.
Don't stop believing…
They continued singing until the song faded out.
"That was really special," Simon said, smiling. "I told you all that singing would make you feel-SQUIIIIRRRELLL!!" he screamed, pointing out the window.
Apparently the driver had seen the suicidal creature as well, as the limo swerved wildly.
Somehow, the limo swerved off the road. And rolled over. And began tumbling down a cliff.
There was a lot of screaming from inside the car.
"Oh my God!" Clary shrieked.
"We're going to diiiieeeee!" Simon contributed.
"I knew singing was a bad ideeeeaaaa!" Jace shouted, in a way that was oddly self satisfied for the situation he was in.
The car tumbled for what seemed to be an impossible amount of time, before stopping upside down at the base of the cliff.
Everyone tried to scramble out through a shattered window, and got away from the car.
"Is everyone out?" Magnus asked, counting heads.
"Simon is still in the car!" Clary shrieked. "We have to get him out!"
"I'm okay," Simon called from inside the vehicle. "I'm just stuck,"
"Get him out!" Clary was panicking. "Somebody get him out of there!"
Jace was back on his feet. "Calm down Clary, he says he's okay. There's no hurry. We'll just all stay calm and rational and figure out how to get him out."
That's when the limo burst into flames.
"Okay, we might want to hurry actually," Jace amended.
Clary started screaming bloody murder, shaking Jace. "Save him! Saaaaave him!"
"That thing is going to blow!" Alec said sharply, running forward. Everyone else rushed forward too, unsure of what to do.
The metal was twisted on one side of the car, making the opening too small for anyone to climb in or out.
Alec and Isabelle were trying to kick the metal back to clear the opening.
"It's impossible!" Isabelle said. "It's not budging!"
"Watch out," Jace said, before grabbing the metal and bending it with his bare hands.
"I'll crawl in, I'm small enough," Raphael said. He disappeared into the vehicle.
The wait seemed interminable, but only moments later, Raphael dragged a disheveled Simon through the window, and began dragging him away from the burning car.
"Samuel!" Simon was shouting. "Samuel's still in there!"
"Who the hell is Samuel?!" Jace demanded.
"The DRIVER!" Simon shouted.
Alec and Jace quickly went to the front of the car.
"We're going to pull you out," Alec shouted to the man. "Relax!"
"No!" the driver shouted back. "Just let me die!"
"No can do," Jace said, as he and Alec pulled the man from the vehicle despite his continued protests.
When everyone had moved away from the limo, they heard the explosion.
The Tyra limo was no more.
"What just HAPPENED?" Aline said, echoing everyone's disbelief.
Magnus was trying to take stock of the situation, to see who was injured. Everyone was standing at the moment, which was absolutely astounding when he took into account the height of the cliff the car had tumbled down.
"How are we not hurt?" Clary wondered, as she stared up at the cliff.
"How are we not dead?" Isabelle corrected.
"That Tyra limo must have been practically a tank," Simon said. "It was like the bat mobile. Did you see how well it held together, aside from, you know, exploding?"
"Good old Tyra," Jace said. "She's looking out for us."
There was a silence, as everyone appreciated being alive. Even Hodge secretly appreciated it.
"Who's this guy?" Raphael looked at Hodge out of the corner of his eye, looking suspicious.
"This is Samuel!" Simon cheerfully introduced him. "Isn't it amazing? He's been driving us everywhere, and we're just now meeting him. I think he deserves some appreciation."
"Thank you," Clary said.
"Yes thanks," Aline said.
"Thank you for driving the limo over a cliff and almost killing all of us," Raphael chimed in.
Jace was staring at 'Samuel'. "You look very familiar," he said finally. "I feel like I've seen you before."
Hodge stared nervously back at him…did the kid really remember…?
"But I've been saying that about everyone here," Jace said dismissively. "Weirdest thing, I swear."
Hodge relaxed again.
"So what now?" Alec said. "We can't scale that cliff, and we don't have cell phones. We might be stuck here for the night."
"What if the squirrels come back?" Simon looked around anxiously. "They failed to claim our lives by running us off the road, and they'll want to finish what they started!"
Magnus waved his fingers in front of Simon's face. "Try to follow my fingers with your eyes," he commanded. "I think you might have hit your head."
"Imagine if Tyra popped out of the bushes right now," Maia started, "And said this was a set up for a photo shoot."
"If she said that," Alec brushed off his jeans. "I would kill her."
"Now Alec," Isabelle chastised. "You really have to stop threatening to kill people when you get upset. You would have been much more popular in high school if you could have just mastered that."
"Alec was popular," Jace protested. "-he was friends with me. And you know what I think? I think that Sebastian planned this accident." He looked around at the others for their reactions. "He is very conspicuously not here, and he'd probably love to kill all of us off so he could win the competition."
"He probably befriended the squirrels!" Simon tugged at his hair. "We're doomed!"
"Alright," Magnus grabbed his wrist and felt for his pulse. "Do you know your name and where we are right now?"
"I'm Simon Lewis and we're in Connecticut!" Simon batted Magnus' hand away. "And if this is anyone's fault…aside from squirrels…it's mine. I told Samuel to go the long way home."
"This isn't 'the long way home'," Jace put in. "This is 'way in the hell of the middle of nowhere', and what were you thinking, making decisions for the group?"
"I just want us to get along!" Simon waved his arms. "I'm tired of all this anger and nonsense! If I can tolerate the man who stole the love of my life, than you can all stop your constant bickering!"
"You're as guilty as the rest of us," Jace accused.
"The love of your life?" Clary asked in confusion. "What are you talking about Simon?"
Simon took a deep breath. "Okay, I almost died today so I feel like it's a sign that I should tell you. Clary, I have loved you for years, and I'm trying to get over it but it is difficult."
"Oh Simon," Clary hugged him. "I love you, but like a brother."
Simon couldn't help himself. "What about that time we slept in the same bed and fooled around Clary? Would you do that with your 'brother'?"
"Of course not," Clary sniffed. "Incest is gross."
"Yeah seriously," Jace agreed. "And I get what Clary is saying. It's like with me and Isabelle. I think of her as my sister."
"What about that time we got drunk on my parents liquor and fooled around?" Isabelle reminded him. "Would you do that with your sister?"
"I was…drunk," Jace said lamely. He met Alec's gaze sheepishly, because the other boy looked majorly pissed.
"I think you both have a strange grasp of what a sibling relationship usually involves," Aline pointed out.
"Let's not judge," Magnus scolded.
Alec wasn't going to let it go. "Are you saying," he addressed Jace. "…That you got my sister drunk ON MY PARENT'S LIQUOR, and took advantage of her?!"
Jace backed away slowly. "Your parents are never there, they want for us to drink it Alec. They're cool like that!" he glared at Isabelle. "What the hell Izzy, you said you'd never tell him about that time!"
"I almost died today," she said easily, tossing her hair. "I think it was a sign I should get it off my chest."
"I'm going to kill you," Alec said, advancing on Jace.
Jace started running, and soon the chase was on. Izzy sat down to watch. "There," she said. "That will entertain us for awhile at least."
Magnus watched the spectacle. "Is Alec going to catch him?"
"Jace is fast," Isabelle said. "But he'll tire sooner, and then he'll be caught. It's only a matter of time."
Magnus looked at her with a new appreciation. "You are a sadistic woman."
"Proud of it babe," she smiled.
"She was the one who took advantage of me!" Jace was shouting as he ran. "She stole my innocence! Go scold her Alec!"
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WATCH HER WHEN I'M NOT AROUND, NOT MOLEST HER!" Alec was truly enraged this time, and catching up quick.
"I was so much drunker than she was!" Jace said. "She can hold her liquor! She was still cooking, for god's sake!"
The chase went on for a good ten minutes, and everyone was watching, for lack of anything better to do.
"They're really moving," Raphael commented. "I bet they've covered more than two miles distance just going in circles there."
"Jonathon always was a fast runner," Hodge reminisced. "He used to evade me for hours whenever it was time to bathe him." He realized he'd spoken aloud when everyone in the audience turned to look at him.
"I was joking," he said hastily.
Hodge was saved from interrogation when the sound of a helicopter was heard from above.
"We're saved!" Simon jumped to his feet.
The helicopter landed.
Seelia was piloting it. She stepped out, and Sebastian hopped out from the passenger's seat.
"Look what these idiots get into without me," he shook his head.
"Hello everyone," Seelia looked around. "Are any of you hurt?"
"Not really," Magnus informed her. "Just banged up a bit."
"...Probably feeling better than I am right now," Sebastian grumbled.
Seelia took in the sight of the raggedy group. "Tyra has the national guard out looking for all of you. When I found out the car had gone missing I said, 'Sebastian; how would you like to ride in a private helicopter?' and he was very enthusiastic about it. What was it you said Sebastian? It was something quite charming." she turned to him.
He looked like he was trying to remember. "I think it was, 'please don't hurt me anymore, I'll do whatever you want'?"
"Ah yes," she snapped her fingers. "That was it. Anyway, I spotted you all by the pink hair running around. That's visible from 5000 feet."
"Wonderful." Alec was still catching his breath from the run around.
A second helicopter was landing. Ragnor hopped out of it. "Thank goodness you're all okay," he put his hand over his heart. "I can't believe something like this happened. But at least we get to play rescue, right Seelia?"
"Indeed we do," she agreed. "Come on models, pile in."
Jace sat next to Alec in the helicopter. "I'm sorry you're mad. It was just kissing, really. And it was weird, even being drunk."
"Just kissing?" Alec glared.
"Yes, really."
"Well…okay." Alec said finally. "I don't like it, but okay."
"Truce?"
"Truce."
"You know," Jace looked out the window. "I was pretty awesome, saving Simon and Samuel back there."
"If I recall, you had some help with that." Alec hid a smile.
"I think it was all me," Jace said. "I am the man."
"You are crazy, that's what you are."
"…the best part is, I did it without my golden blonde locks. I learned today Alec, that my powers come from my heart, rather than my hair."
"Of course, you moron. That was always obvious."
Isabelle joined the conversation. "I realized that my hair isn't what makes me myself either. I can still be loveable with blonde hair, and I can still be a bitch."
"You sure can," Jace agreed.
"Plus," Izzy continued. "When we were tumbling down that cliff, I wasn't thinking about hair. I was thinking about you two, and mom and dad and Max. I'm lucky to have the family that I do, and it's a waste of my time and good looks to cry over a bad dye job."
"It really is," Jace agreed with her, for the first time in who knows when. "What have you learned from your pink hair Alec?" he asked curiously.
"Hmm," Alec thought a moment. "That you can see it from 5000 feet up." That was all he felt like sharing, anyway.
The helicopters were very fast, and soon they were landing at the model mansion.
The weary models trudged upstairs to shower off the sweat and grime from both the workout and the awful ordeal in the semi-wilderness.
Alec sighed in the shower, letting his tense muscles relax. He watched the pink dye run down the drain, not at all sad to see it go. He'd known that it was washout because Amatis had clued him in.
He would never have let them dye his hair pink otherwise. Apparently Tyra had wanted him to learn something from this. He had a basic idea of what.
As he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, he heard a happy shriek from down the hall.
"GOODBYE BLONDE!" Izzy's voice rang out. Alec smiled, she must have been back to normal. Now there was just-
"I'M BEAUTIFUL AGAIN!!!" Jace's thrilled exclamations were even louder than Isabelle's…wait…were they getting closer-?
"ALEC!!!" Jace burst into the bathroom. "I'm the golden boy once more!"
Alec would have been concerned about his own lack of clothing, but he was too distracted by Jace's similar lack.
"Oh my god," Alec shut his eyes. "Jace, you're naked."
"I know," Jace said. "I'm in my purest form, no hair dye, no clothes, no kangaroos. I'm just me!"
"You've lost your fucking mind," Alec hissed through his teeth, still keeping his eyes closed. "You could have put on a towel at least."
Jace grabbed a towel and put it on, not that Alec could see this.
Then Jace actually had the nerve to tackle Alec.
"What the fuck are you doing!" the dark haired boy yelped. "Get off me!" He would have thrown Jace off him, but he didn't want to touch him in his current state.
"I just want to share my naked joy with my best friend," Jace said. "I'm so glad you're here."
"Go share your naked joy with Clary you ass!"
"You start swearing when you're mad," Jace commented. "But you're not threatening to kill me yet. Are you still really mad?"
"I am…unnerved. At the moment. Just get off me."
"Don't be mad Alec," Jace said. "We haven't been hanging out as much, and I hate when you're mad."
Alec couldn't see the puppy eyed pout Jace was putting on, but he could hear it in his voice. "I am not mad. Just get the fu-just get off."
Finally he did, and Alec breathed an audible sigh of relief.
Jace rolled his eyes. "I have a towel on you know."
Alec hesitantly opened his eyes. "Did you really just run down the hall stark naked? Did Magnus see you run in here?"
"I really did," Jace nodded. "It was very liberating. And no, he missed out, as he is in the kitchen."
"I think that hair dye damaged your brain," Alec said. "I'm legitimately concerned. I think you could sue."
"You're so uptight," Jace told him. "We signed a disclaimer anyway, remember?"
Alec blinked to clear his head, "Okay, I'm very happy for you being blonde again. Now why don't you go put some clothes on, because I need to get dressed."
"Yes you do," Jace nodded. "Because Tyra's here. I think she saw me run down the hall. What an experience."
"...And please do not come back here in your 'purest form' ever again." Alec finished.
"If you say so," Jace said, "See you in a few!" he cheerfully and mercifully left.
Everyone gathered to greet Tyra.
"Hello there models!" she smiled at them. "I heard that you all faced death today! I think that that's beautiful. That's what modeling is really about."
There wasn't one person in the room that didn't suspect she'd set the whole thing up.
Tyra continued. "And I can see that the three of you have figured out the fake makeovers!"
"Yes," Jace said. "The carpet once again matches the drapes."
"Ugh, did you really just make me think about that?" Raphael's face twisted in disgust.
Tyra was still talking. "…Honestly, I thought that you three were fine the way you were. But I decided to teach you a lesson, because Mama Tyra is here for you. So tell everyone what lessons you learned." She beamed at them.
"I learned that I'm awesome no matter what my hair looks like," Jace said. "I'm just made of win."
Tyra nodded solemnly. "I'm glad you found yourself Jace. What about you Isabelle?"
"I learned that I have been too shallow, and that blondes are people too."
"Indeed they are," Tyra nodded. "I had a crazy blonde weave one time, and I was still human when I had it. And you Alec?"
"I learned its okay to stand out sometimes. Especially if a helicopter is searching for you."
"That's so true," Tyra agreed. "Mama Tyra is so proud of all of you! So as a reward, I'm going to tell you what you're going to have to do for the next photo shoot. No more secrets."
They waited.
"You're going to be making out with each other," Tyra smiled. "I picked names out of a hat to pair you up. It was fun. I'm not going to tell you who is with who yet. That's still a surprise."
"Wow," Maia commented. "That sounds horrifying."
"Open your heart Maia," Tyra told her. "It'll get easier with time. Alright then, goodbye models! See you bright and early tomorrow!" She waved and flounced out the door.
"Raphael stop jumping and settle the fuck down," Sebastian commanded.
"Bite me," Raphael said back.
Simon was getting ready for bed, which meant he was putting on his old t-shirt with a pointing storm trooper on it. It said, 'Your Empire needs you.' Sometimes Clary was the best.
He wished he could room with her instead of the weirdos he was stuck with. But that would be unacceptable to the public or whatever.
"I told you to stop jumping," Sebastian's voice was suddenly low and dangerous. "I am having an internal monologue, and you're distracting me."
"Why don't you come up here and make me?" Raphael challenged.
"Hey, no violence," Simon protested.
Raphael's head appeared, looking at him. "Don't tell me what to do," the boy said. "I saved your life."
"Raphael I need to speak with you in private," Sebastian said. "Despite your distraction, I think I am ready to discuss my thoughts. We need to go into the bathroom to conspire."
"You guys too?" Simon said. "I think this is a double standard here. I can't even room with Clary, and you can go do whatever you want behind a closed door. How is that fair? I want to know how it's fair. In fact maybe I'll just say I'm not okay with that occurring in this room that is just as much MINE as it is yours. This is my room too. This bunk is mine, and this blanket is mine, and that's my toothbrush in the bathroom there, and I don't want anything going on near MY toothbrush!" He glared.
Raphael had climbed down to stand next to Sebastian, and his eyes had narrowed. "What exactly are you implying?"
But Sebastian had heard something useful in that speech. "What do you mean, 'you guys too?'"
Simon immediately realized his mistake. "Nothing. Never mind, do what you want. Just-keep my toothbrush far away from it."
Sebastian looked thoughtful. "You were the one that went to fetch Alec and Magnus weren't you?"
"Well… yes." Simon admitted. What a crazy good memory Sebastian had,
"And what were they doing?" Sebastian looked like a cat that had just caught a mouse.
"They were, I don't know, hanging out. They weren't doing anything. Not anything at all."
"And they were in the bathroom with the door closed while they weren't doing anything, right?"
"I can't remember," Simon said. "I have to uh, paint my glasses." He hastily left the room.
"…that's what I thought." Sebastian smiled. "Come on Raphael. The walls have ears."
They walked into the bathroom and shut the door.
"This had better be good," Raphael said, grumpily. "I really ought to be watching him."
"Forget that. I think we need to discuss everyone's standing in this competition. There's already been one photo shoot, and we have to stay on top of things." Sebastian began pacing, his hands clasped behind his back. "I have several observations, and I'll need your input."
Raphael waited.
"Firstly," he began. "The premiere episode aired, and the favorites are already clear. I went online and the message boards are buzzing."
"How did you get online?" Raphael asked. There was no internet access in the model mansion, to prevent them from posting information that could spoil an episode before it aired.
Sebastian looked pleased with himself. "Seelia is insane. And she's pure evil. But she also has internet. When she fell asleep I performed a Houdini and got to her computer." He snapped his fingers. "-Piece of cake."
Raphael was unphased. "So what are people saying?"
"The Lightwood boy and that Bane kid are extremely popular. The fans are even referring to them as…" he paused dramatically. "…Malec."
"Dios mio," Raphael gasped. "You've got to be kidding me."
"I wish I was," Sebastian said grimly. "But it's true. Those two are so saccharine, it kills me. And thanks to our wonderful roommate, I now know they're really an item, so the situation will only get worse. This show is airing on Bravo. I'm sure you can comprehend that their fan base is considerable. 'Bronnie' anyone?"
"But Tyra doesn't really care who the audience likes," Raphael pointed out. "She picks who she wants."
"Fair point," Sebastian agreed. "But she seemed to like them. All the judges seemed to like them. They're the fricken golden boys. It's sickening."
"And what about the daylighter?" Raphael asked.
"The fans like him too. And the judges were absolutely gushing over him- well you were there."
"I can handle that one," Raphael said, sounding unconcerned. "I'm guessing that Isabelle has fans."
"She's beautiful," Sebastian said. "But, she's fighting a major obstacle. Tyra opened this show up to petites and boys this season, and she'll want to prove it works by having someone in those categories win. Isabelle picked the wrong season for this show, I think. But still, she's as good as they come."
"So the most pressing issue," Raphael recapped. "Is Malec."
"By far," Sebastian agreed. "But when you think about it, what do they have that we don't?"
Raphael considered. "A taller combined average height." He said finally.
"Besides that," Sebastian prodded. "Think harder."
Raphael thought another moment. Then he thought of the obvious. "Los novios?"
"Exactly!" Sebastian's eyes were crazy scary. "They have each other! But there's one more advantage you didn't think of. They also have more easily combinable names. I mean Raphastian? Sebastael? That's like something Bella Swann would name her child! Those would never catch on, firstly because they are equally bad, and the fan base would be divided on which was better. Clearly 'Malec' sounds better than 'Algnus', but with our names, it's a toss up. Why do you have to have such a weird name anyway Raphael, it's not even courteous."
"Whoa, stop," Raphael interrupted. "Primero, Sebastian isn't even your name. Second, it's weird regardless. And three, I am not being your boyfriend. Raphael likes the chicas. El fin."
Sebastian was trying to be patient. "I don't want to be your boyfriend either Raphael. Do you think I came on this show about hot people so I could commit to you? But it would benefit us both. Sebastael-my personal preference- would be unstoppable. We just have to pretend in front of the cameras. You would just follow my lead."
"I'm a Taurus; I don't follow anyone's lead. And it would be Raphastian, because of what the order of combination implies, IF I ever agreed which I won't."
"The order implies nothing, twit."
"I think it does. I think you know it does, you and your 'preferences.' "
"It doesn't."
"Does." Raphael said, with finality. "And besides, I have a better idea than that."
"What?" Sebastian demanded tersely. He was pretty pissed that Raphael had just shot down the plan like that. Raphael hadn't been the one to dig out the Malec information by typing with handcuffs on.
"Just break them up. That would mess with their emotions, and make them more likely to fail. Aren't you supposed to be good at that sort of thing?" he challenged.
Sebastian glared silently for a moment. "I am very good at 'that sort of thing' Raphael. Not that you'll ever know personally."
"So there you go. My plan was much more devious and evil than yours."
"Yadda yadda blah blah blah," Sebastian rolled his eyes. Silently, he had to admit it was more devious though.
Back to the drawing board.
Haha, wow you guys. Did you REALLY think I was going to leave them like that? You really thought I would leave Alec's hair pink? Ye of little faith. Haha. I'm sorry if you're still upset about the way somebody looks, I think only Aline really changed drastically though.
Also…about the picking names out of hats to see who was going to make out with who? I actually did that, and I swore to myself beforehand I would stick to it. Some of the matchups are totally weird. XD
Anyway, it's time to thank all you lovely people! :)
LostInThought15: Yay, they're back to normal, haha. I hope you're not terrified anymore!
Championshoes: I luurve your username! And thank you for the review, pink hair is no more. =)
Burningximpossiblyxbright: Haha, Simon is redonkulous sometimes! That's why I love him though. And yeah…Sebastian and Seelia. Good on her, I say. XD thx for the review!
AVdK: Thank you for reading and reviewing, I'm so glad that you like it. =)
Whiteandnerdy01: That's kind of what I was going for; in character but exaggerated. I'm glad you see them that way. I hope you continue to like it!
Magical-archer: It's all good, haha. Thank you for the review! And I will update beautiful boy, but frankly it makes me a little sad to write it and I'm going through some tough stuff right now. So I'm writing this because it cheers me up. I plan on updating soon though, I definitely will finish it. :)
Somecrazyshit: hey hon, sorry that Clary's hair is still like that. I didn't think it was bad, but I'm sorry that you do. And you're awesome for screeching in the library, haha. Thank you for the review!
Azalee Charlin: hey, valentine must be bored out of his mind with no mortal instruments to gather! He has nothing to do but harass his (sort of)children! XD And I was particularly fond of Jace with brown hair, but I cut him a break. =D
LA-EL-LAS: BOOYAH back! Yes, Jace is a wonderful hilarious fellow. I'd like to talk with him in real life. :D
Katara-alchemist: You're welcome, and thank you! Your DA page is awesome, I loved the Fang drawing. He is HOTT. ;D
Miss-Alec-Magnus Bane: wow, so are you married to both Alec and magnus with that user name? That would be the life. ;) Sorry you didn't enjoy the makeovers, I hope you liked this chapter.
MagnusSpark: You are so persistent! Alec truly has a loyal fan in you. :D I'm glad I can make you laugh. I bet you're cute when you laugh. ;) haha. Thanks for the nice review! Also…in regards to your last review, that cracked me up! You are Aldertree? In that case I'd be very glad to meet you, as I am not a boy and would be safe! Alec should be a little scared though, haha.
Pawfoot: that is a crazy coincidence! I'm glad you liked those parts, that was fun and controversial.
Kara_leafgiggle_smileyface: Thank you so much for the review! I don't know if kara is your name, but it's one of my favorite names. I hope you liked the update. :)
Marauderette lily: Congrats! You read like ninety pages worth of fanfiction in a day! XD Thank you for your nice review. I hope you continue to enjoy. :)
Staceyallison: yep, you're safe from Aldertree. ;) And he is indeed a frightening man, but so silly too! Thx for the review. :)
Lyra V Ellison: Oh my god! Your review is an epic essay! I must comment on it!
Yeah, seriously, why is he the only humanoid demon…but more importantly…it's very conspicuous that the only humanoid demon is the one that gets tied up and harassed with a whip. Seriouuusly Cassandra Clare. Just count the amount of times a boy is in bondage or in prison in those books. Then count the amount of times a girl is in the same situation.
…yeah. All I can say is, I think Cassandra Clare would approve of Seelia! (and so do I, hee hee,)
I know what you mean about Jace. I love him, but he is just so full of it sometimes. XD
Divine justice indeed! Thank you so much for that review, it made me smile many times!
Inthefire: Your favorite fanfiction EVER? That makes me really really happy! I'm glad you like the references to the books. I don't have them on hand, but I try! Thx for the review. :)
b33zir34dz: Your username is so complicated! Oh Clary, gotta love her…wait do I? Haha. I'm glad you like the story!
Lunareclipse3: wow! Thank you for leaving all those reviews! You are too awesome. :D
VampHime: I love Magnus and Jace too! I'm glad you liked the phone calls, they were fun to write. :)
Browniehaze: Yes, Simon has a way with metaphors, haha. And Aldertree has a way of being really creepy. XD
Hi: Haha, I would never let his hair be turned pink permanently. I just found it amusing, sorry if it stressed you out.
Magickless Sorceress: cool username! And thank you for the nice review! I like hearing what people enjoyed. :) I'm so glad you laughed. And yeah, Valentine had to call all three of them, he has to cover his options. XD
Ellenfp: haha, I'm glad you liked the ice cream comment. I kind of thought that would be controversial, but Simon's just weird like that. :D
Coolnesskate: well I hope you're not extremely upset that his hair is no longer pink! And I love Iggy! Yay for awesome blind flying bird boys. :)
Nezrin: I'm glad you like Malec, I love them too. I do not know about Sebastian and Raphael honestly. They're so unpredictable that I can't tell what they're thinking. :)
Angryfish: hello there! Congrats on getting an account! I'm glad you think I've gotten their personalities, though I'm obviously fooling around with them I want the characters to still be in there. :)
Perdyprincess: haha…Sebastian was not going to a doctor's appt! XD I am very flattered by your compliment. Thank you so much for your feedback.
Zoe Lightwood: Jace agrees with you! It should have been physically impossible! =)
J storm: I hope you're happier now that three of them are back to normal, haha. And thx for the review!