A/N: Yay! It's here, it's here! The Opening Ceremonies are here! Let's watch (read, whatever...)
Also-
To Xa girl and her little worldX - Thank you for the idea! *Bows* I probably won't use it for the first game, but it will come up soon. So stay tuned, Nya!
One more thing- For the songs used in the Opening Ceremonies. They are:
World Is Mine (It's a Vocaloid song, so you can just type in 'World is Mine, Vocaloid' on YouTube and you'll probably find it.)
Audi Famam… (The main theme song from Super Smash Bros Brawl)
The Ultimate Yaoi Fangirl Song (Yeah… It's explained in the notes…)
Disclaimer- I don't own anything but my ideas, people...
Later on in the evening, the time had finally come for the Opening Ceremonies of the Seme-Uke Games. Right now, however, guests and spectators were busy trying to find seats. In one section, four Princesses were just sitting down and conversing as they did. They were Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom, Princess Daisy of Sarosaland, Princess Zelda of Hyrule, and Midna, Princess of Twilight. Midna yawned loudly and poked Zelda, saying,
"Hey, when is Impa coming back with our food? Huh? Zelda~..." The brunette princess sighed and replied,
"She'll be back soon, Midna..." Midna kept poking her, saying,
"I sure hope so... Anyway, how has the dating been going? Huh, Zelly?"
"How many times have I told you, don't call me that!!" Peach and Daisy simply sighed before Peach asked the auburn-haired woman,
"When did Mario and Luigi say they would be back?" Daisy sighed,
"Truth be told, I forgot..."
Both Princesses sighed again.
In another area, the personifications of Japan, Taiwan, and Hong Kong sat down. It was a while of silence before Taiwan spoke up, the woman looking obviously worried, "Who should we root for? I mean, China's our father but Korea's our brother. I'm so confused! And all this confusion is making me worried!" Hong Kong silently patted his sister's shoulder, face... not really portraying any emotion. Japan spoke,
"I'm sure either one will understand no matter who we root for. It will be alright, Taiwan-chan." The woman wiped at her eyes before smiling at Japan.
"You always know how to make me feel better." Japan blushed and smiled lightly, not at all noticing the look of evil Hong Kong was passing his way.
Sitting in arena-side seats, Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka were holding each other's hands and sobbing, "Why couldn't Sasuke-kun be straight~? We would have made such beautiful babies together~!" As the two girls were sobbing, their boyfriends (Rock Lee and Chouji Akimichi) frowned and asked,
"Um, what are we? Chopped liver?"
In a mere few hours, the seats were all filled. Now just came waiting for the event to start. Which seemed like it was going to take forever! An hour later, everyone was getting antsy.
"What are they doing?" Gwen Tennyson sighed exasperatedly as she looked at her watch. "Kevin usually can't ever keep time in a normal situation, is he holding this up too?" Grandpa Max patted her shoulder and said,
"I'm sure that it's just a few last minute rehearsals, Gwen. It's going to be fine." Gwen huffed.
"It better be..." She clenched one of her hands into a fist, a pink energy surrounding it.
A few minutes later, the lights finally dimmed, a single spot-light showing on a staircase in the center of the arena. There were some cheers from the audience, happy that things were finally getting underway. When everything quieted down, the light changed to blue. Then, a young man with short white hair, wearing a business-casual outfit walked to the base of the staircase. While some of the fangirls in the audience screamed, "DELL!! We love you, Dell!", He took out and lit up a cigarette before inhaling smoothly. After exhaling a smooth stream of smoke, he adjusted the headset on his head and walked up, singing,
'A seme... Is
Selfless, kind, protecting prince...(1)'
Dell Honne stopped when he got to the top of the staircase and took another drag off of his cigarette. A minute later, the spot-light changed to red and another young man walked to the bottom of the staircase. He wore glasses, business-casual clothes (only his were pink and black), and his long, pink hair was in a pony-tail that ended in a large, spiraling curl. He adjusted his glasses and his own headset before walking up and singing,
'But ukes... Are
Epitomes of beauty and grace...'
When Ted Kasane stood next to Dell(2), both vocaloids smirked at each other before singing together,
'But now... we've come to decide
Which side... Is... Really~' A drum-beat before they looked to the audience and concluded. 'Number one!' A band began playing the music that went with the lyrics and both of the performers danced along with it. When the music started, the blue and red doors opened. Through the blue door, the members of Team Seme walked in and through the red door, the members of Team Uke walked in. They stood where they were for a moment, some team-members waving to loved ones in the audience before they began walking towards the center of the arena, as practiced. Dell sang out,
'Number One:
We comment you every day,
Whether you look good or not! Remember?' Ted scoffed,
'But Number Two:
We make sure that you don't
make dumbasses of yourselves!' Dell replied,
'Number Three:
No matter what you do or what you say,
we make sure to say that we love you every day!'
'You seem not to understand...' Ted sang out, walking away from Dell, 'That an uke's law overturns any seme's hand!' Dell laughed,
'Ha! But don't you
Think that might be more than a little bit selfish?' Ted smiled,
'But sweetheart,
You know that you don't really care as long as I'm happy!' Dell smiled,
'That is true. Because we all know that
a pissed-off uke is hell on earth!' Dell jumped to the side,
'Semes... Are
The most patient guys in the world!' Ted followed,
'But you guys throw more
temper-tantrums than we do!'
'Hey! I
Thought ukes were to be honest?' Dell laughed. Ted fumed and retorted,
'Just see if you get any from me tonight!' Dell's face fell,
'You are kidding, right?' Ted smirked and took a few steps away, singing,
'Hmph.
I don't know...' Dell screamed,
'What~?!'
'When ukes make mistakes,
they're just adorable little flaws?
Aren't they?' Ted chuckled. Dell huffed,
'That's true when you guys are the ones
acting stupid.' Ted flinched,
'You're really pushing your
luck, aren't you?' Dell gulped,
'Wait, don't be like that!
I'll buy you some sweet-bread when we get home!' Ted jumped in joy,
'I love sweets and cute things, you know!'
'Simple ways to please...
Short-attention spans can work for me!' Dell smirked. Ted blushed and sang,
'Dell, if you don't stop
I'm gonna kick your ass!' Dell just continued,
'Ukes~ Are
The most adorable princesses!' Ted added,
'Semes~ Are so dumb,
they would get lost using a GPS!' Dell frowned,
'What the hell?!
I'm commenting you and you go insult me?!' Ted added,
'You'll be more insulted than that
when Team Uke wins~!' At the word 'wins', Ted held the most beautiful note as the members of both teams sat down at the long table in front of the arena. When Ted stopped, Dell added,
'Ted-chan~ Tell me please,
what is... It... That you're on?'
'Dell, screw you!'
'Ted? Wait, Baby!'
'Aaaa~ahh-aaahhh~!' The two performers ended on a high note before kissing each other. When the two performers kissed, there were red and blue fireworks put into ignition behind them. When the music was done, the audience arose in cheers and applause (fangirls screaming in joy at the kiss). Dell and Ted walked down, waving to the audience. When all the commotion was done, Kisame was handed a mic. After getting the okay, Kisame smiled and began,
"Good evening everyone! My name is Kisame Hoshigaki and I'm the Captain of Team Seme. Guys, say hello." All the semes stood and waved, getting cheers. All of a sudden, there were two screams. One of,
"Belarus, NO!", the other of,
"BIG BROTHER!!" Russia paled and proceeded to hide underneath the table, muttering something about,
"If I don't see it, it is not there... If I don't see it, it is not there..." As the nation of Belarus charged towards the podium, Dawn (one of the event-coordinators) looked at the scene with frightened blue eyes and yelled into her walkie-talkie,
"We have a Class 10! I repeat-- A Class 10! Zoey, release the trap!" Nodding, a girl with spiky orange hair pressed a button. Instantly, Belarus was wrapped up in a very complex rope-trap. The woman screamed,
"NO! We have to get married! MARRIED, MARRIED, MARRIED!!!" As the guards carried Belarus away, Kisame held the mic away from his face and whispered underneath the table,
"She's gone, you can come back out now Russia." The large nation slowly returned from his hiding place, looking around warily. Kisame sighed and continued,
"I want to thank all of you for coming out here tonight. Also, I want to thank those of you who are cheering for my team. It really gets me..." At that Kisame sniffled a bit before gesturing to his heart and adding, "Right here." There were some 'aw's from the audience. Kabuto gritted his teeth and whispered to Itachi,
"Damn! They're playing the 'gentle-giant' card early!" Itachi nodded, already figuring out what he was going to do. After a few more words, Kisame stated,
"Now then, I'll hand off the mic to my beautiful wife Itachi." There were cheers as Itachi stood and took the mic. He brushed some of his hair from his face, the small action border-lining erotic, before stating and looking at the audience with the most seductive-while-not-trying-to-be look,
"Thank you, Kisame. Good evening all of you, I..." (Ding! Disclaimer- Tyranno's girl Productions is extremely lazy, well, that and she's kind of tired while she's writing this, so we'll just skip Itachi's speech to the crowd. Thank you. Itachi- WHAT THE HELL?!) "Thank you again and I hope you enjoy the events."
When Itachi sat down, there were more cheers. Afterwards, Zoey walked up to the stage and spoke into a mic, "Thanks a lot you guys. But now, we have to present our judges!" After some of the cheers went down, Zoey(3) continued, "Our first judge is going to make things a little hotter in here, so watch out. No one better mess with her or else you'll find yourself on the wrong end of her boots. Her hair gives a new definition to 'strong hair' and her voice is like a British angel from hell, welcome... Bayonetta(4)!!" With a flourish of dance music, the curtains parted to reveal the woman (witch) smirked as she walked in, black high heels clicking with each movement.
As almost every guy in the audience (straight and otherwise) looked at the woman with wide eyes and gaping expressions, the ukes weren't really impressed. Granted, her clothes looked awesome. "You don't have to dress like that just to make a statement, right Kisame? Kisame?" Itachi asked but when he turned, he saw Kisame (as well as every other seme) looking at the woman, transfixed in every movement.
3...2...1...
"DAAAAMMMM!!!(5)" All the semes commented as the woman sat down. Matthew lifted Gilbert's jaw back to his mouth and stated, very calmly,
"Keep your mouth off the table, Gilbert. All your drool is making the table-cloth filthy." As the woman waved to the audience, England asked one of the event-coordinators,
"How the hell did you guys manage to get Bayonetta to be a judge for this thing?"
"Oh, well, we had a very proper and sophisticated list of requirements and paperwork that we had to go through." She smiled back.
---
One day at a bar in the exact halfway point between heaven and hell...
"Hey! Chesty McRack Boob(6)!! You want to be one of our celebrity judges?!"
---
"Mm-hm! That's what we did!"
"That must have been so hard..."
"It really was." Zoey then spoke up,
"Now presenting our next judge! Some of our audience may recognize this next individual from the hit J-Rock band, Bad Luck and..." The announcer had to stop when there was a roar of screams and squeals from the audience. "And he's just so excited to be here! In fact, I think he had like five nose-bleeds back-stage... Any who, presenting..." The curtain opened, "Shuichi Shindou(7)!!" As the young, pink-haired male walked from the stage to the judges table, he waved and blew kisses to the audience (causing the occasional fan-girl to pass out in sheer joy). Once he got there he stood next to Bayonetta and waved a few times until he saw someone in the audience.
The male beamed and yelled, "Hiro! Yuki!! YUKI!!!" In the audience, the long-haired guitarist of Bad Luck, Hiroshi Nakano, and the blonde romance-novelist/ Shuichi's lover, Eiri Yuki, were sitting down and trying to stay away from the attention of the embarrassing male. "YUKI!!! YUKI, I LOVE YOU!!!" Yuki sighed,
"That idiot. The Games haven't even started and he's making a fool of himself." Hiro chuckled,
"But it's because he loves you so much..."
"Shut up."
Meanwhile, the announcer had to ring a buzzer before they spoke again, "Okay, calm down everyone... Our final judge is one of the friendliest countries that you could ever go to! He makes a trip around the world once a year to deliver presents to all you good little boys and girls and he's come to share some of his joy and happiness with us!" The announcer turned and stated, "Please welcome, Finland (8)!!" The curtains opened up and the young Nordic nation walked through smiling and waving to everyone.
"Good evening everyone! How are you all doing tonight?" The audience cheered, fan-girls taking pictures and cooing,
"KAWAI!!!" As Finland sat down next to the other two judges, the announcer began to talk about something that no one really cares about. As they listened (they really couldn't help it) both Shuichi's and Finland's eyes drifted towards Bayonetta's impressive... endowment. After a while of being stared at, the witch sighed,
"Would you like to take a picture? I'm sure it would last longer..." Both males shook their heads before Shuichi asked,
"Those can't be real... Are they?" At that, Bayonetta blushed and lifted up one of her legs onto the table. When both males saw the pistol that was attached to her heel, they yelped and began to look at anything except the witch. "Boy, the decorations look really nice, huh?"
"Yes... And so many people are here to give their support... How nice..." Bayonetta sighed before asking one of the coordinators for a mic. The woman sighed before speaking,
"Good evening all of you. I would ask you politely to sit down but I'm not a nice person. Sit the fuck down and shut the hell up before I bust a cap in someone's ass!"
Everyone immediately sat in their seats.
"Now then, to continue on with these damn Opening Ceremonies! Let's see here…" Bayonetta picked up a piece of paper and read, "Let's see here… tribute by cast of Super Smash Bros (past and present). Huh…"
"Well, that's-a our cue!" Mario announced, causing a bunch of movement from in the audience.
"Move damn it!"
"I'm gonna Falcon-Punch you in the face!"
"Zelly! You stepped on my shoes!"
"That's not my name, damn it!!"
A few minutes of preparation later…
The cast of Super Smash Bros had gotten together on-stage and sang a beautiful rendition of the song 'Audi Famam…'. After a long and overly-lengthy standing-ovation, Bayonetta read the paper before speaking,
"Next we have a tribute from the… What the bloody hell is the I.Y.A.?!" Suddenly from back-stage, a group of girls (and a few guys) walked to the center of the arena and began setting up various musical equipment. "Um…" Bayonetta raised an eyebrow before adding, "Who the hell are you guys?" The main woman who had walked in with the girls (and few guys) took the mic and stated,
"We're the I.Y.A.! The International Yaoi Association!" The members cheered when they had finished their preparations. Then after getting the okay, the new woman spoke into the mic. "Hi everyone! It's a great honor to have been invited to such a wonderful event."
"What are you talking about? You said that if we didn't let you guys come that you would blackmail us to the paparazzi?" Dawn dead-panned.
"NOBODY ASKED YOU!!" The woman screamed. But then she sighed and laughed, "My name is Yama Oika and I'm the president of this glorious organization. But enough chit-chat!" Yama-san walked to the center of the stage before the lights dimmed again. A flourish of music occured before Yama-san began dancing and singing(9),
'Delineate yaoi at the mess of the rotten brine.
The ukes and semes would be dancing wildly,
once you're lost in phantasma.'
Yama-san had a beautiful voice. It was just what she was singing about that made some people want to burst into laughter or go 'what the fuck'.
'The key to your lovely haven...
"NO, DON'T LOOK INSIIIIIIIDE!!!"' Yama turned and and added,
'Even if you hide all shameful things,
you're essentially a fangirl afterall...'
A blast of fireworks before the other members of the I.Y.A joined in; some on instruments, others in a group-chorus. Cheerfully, they sang,
'I want to stay in my room! I want to stay in my room!
The temptation of our fantasies...
I won't be stopping until I find the way to overcome all boundaries...' Yama walked a few steps forward and sang,
'Hey, you all there! Want to join us?
There's the heaven of Adam and Adam awaiting us over there~!' Yama and a few of the chorus members took out books from seemingly nowhere and sang,
'Clutch the yaoi anthology in your hand. (Foowoo!)
Clutch the new yaoi doujinshi in your hand. (Foowoo!)'
Yama went solo for the next part,
'I want to devour all the worlds that our comrades have created!
Money that flew away like a butterfly...
Mother that sheds tears like a raindrop...
I tried to wash my hands of it, but it seemed pointless...
My fancies are simply unstoppable.'
'Kyun Kyun Kyun Kyun
Tomorrow's plan is (tomorrow's plan is)...' All together,
'CONVENTION!' Taking a seemingly solemn air, Yama sang,
'If my mother found about my yaoi book…
"Please, don't look at me like that…"
"Don't prowl about my room anymore! In fact, forget what you saw! Please."
Even if I murmur, "…I'm not a fangirl." It was meaningless...' A nice few lyrics, nice control over her voice, that part was awesome. Yama smirked and added,
'Homo homo~.' Well, that ruined it. Yama smiled sadly and added,
'My partner from my former fandom. She's now married.
I was able to get along cuz you were there for me.
I thought you would stay a glorious loser just like us. orz(10)
I really want someone who could share this feeling right now...
Ohh~!' A trio of seemingly adorable girls jumped up and exclaimed,
'MOE!' The music got bouncy and the lights took on happy, bright colors before Yama and the chorus continued,
'Hot guys mount each other, we bring it to you.
AH! AH!
We take pleasure by such intimacies!
We beg you for more please!
Our heart reflects such tainted images.
Silver drifts for the summer and winter conventions!' Yama smirked again, singing,
'A smirk spills before the upcoming festival.
NO YAOI, NO LIFE. (Lol just kidding, you pervert!)
Neet Lady Need Money
Check up the famous circles!'
'GO! Even if you're not young (If you're not young!)
Cuz this is your one and only life!
No BL! No Life! Cuz I wanna get it, lalalalalala~,
I keep going to Tokyo Bigsight.' Yama gestured for one of the chorus boys to come sing with her. He sang,
'3. A strange atmosphere!' Yama added,
'2. Are you Lady?'
'1. Tons of yaoi doujinshis!'
'0. Eyes sparkling madly!' Some of the members gathered around Yama-san and sang,
'"Did you buy 'em?"' The woman brought out some random doujinshi and sang back,
'"Hell yeah I did!"
I wanna keep going. I wanna keep going.
I want to enjoy the pleasure. (Have you yaoi'd~?)
The characters gaze at each other by the guidance of the fangirls. (Yes, I've yaoi'd~!)
The story ends and the fandom gradually fades away.' The three cute girls interjected,
'BUT!'
'I've found the next character to fangirl over, so I still can't rest myself...' Yama smiled,
'I'm fancying, when their eyes meet each other.
I'm stimulating, when their hands touch each other's.
What was I born for? What am I here for? Ohh~' At that moment, Yama placed a bit of a frown on her face and sang softly,
'I want to rewind the clock. To that faraway time, when I wasn't a fangirl...
Everyone left me…' She turned to her organization and smiled softly,
'But I was able to come across such great friends.
(I'm not alone anymore...)
I've strayed about. We're the same, aren't we?
I wanna enjoy tattling together with you.
I've decided to go to bed, 'cause I'm likely to enjoy a dazzling dream tonight.
(I'm not alone anymore. 'Cause I have my fellows by my side…)
Ohh~ohh...
I want to survive. I don't mind being at the edge.
I love you, yaoi...
With the guidance of the fangirl goddess…(with the guidance…)
I want to survive! I want to stay rotten!
I love you, yaoi!(I love you!)
I won't be sleeping until my earnest soul burns out~!' Ending with a long note, the I.Y.A finished off their performance. As she bowed while the music was slowly ending, Yama-san murmured into the mic,
'I'd be enjoying myself tomorrow again. Tomorrow again…
We're such crazy fangirls, yes we are…'
Finally, the lights came up; normal colors and everything. The reactions to that... performance? Tribute? ...Were varied. Many 'WTF' faces. But there were some people clapping and applauding. And then some people were laughing their heads off, like Deidara. The blonde had literally fallen out of his chair, laughing,
"How do you make a song out of something like that, un?! HA HA!!"
But for the most part, a successful performance. WHen the I.Y.A. walked off stage, Zoey shook her head as she spoke into a mic, "Well... That was... Interesting. Let's give it up for the I.Y.A.!!" After more applause, Zoey continued, "Well, now is the time..." The orange-haired girl pointed to the giant, empty flag-pole on the top of the buliding. "To raise the flag for the Games!!"
There were more cheers but then Itachi had to ask, "Just how did they finally decided to get the flag up there?" Kisame shrugged his shoulders. It had been a weel-kept secret on who and how the flag representing the Games was to be presented. But now, the secret was to be revealed. Zoey smirked and said,
"Bayonetta!! Turn it up!" At the signal, the black-haired woman jumped onto the judges table. After getting into a certain pose, she called out,
"With this..!!" All at once, her hair and clothes began swirling in a manic fashion before jumping through the ground near them...
...And jumping out of the roof of the stadium in the form of a massive black and purple dragon made up of the same materials(11). It roared viciously before flying towards the flag-pole. At this moment, everyone saw what the dragon had in its mouth: It was the giant flag to go with the flag-pole. After swirling around the pole once, the dragon had placed the beautiful blue and red flag onto the pole and sinking back into the ground. A fully clothed Bayonetta concluded,
"...Let the Seme-Uke Games be open!!"
A/N:
(1) The beginning song of the Ceremonies is a rewrite of the Vocaloid song 'World is Mine'. I just shortened it a bit and rewrote some words to be more fitting for this event.
(2) Dell Honne is actually a Voyakiloid and Ted Kasane is an Utau, They're like vocaloids except voyakiloids are labled as failed-attempts from vocaloid-users and Utaus are majorily fan-made projects using the free Utau-software. I like these two as a couple though...
(3) Before anyone gets confused, Zoey and Dawn are actually from Pokémon: Diamond and Pearl. Remember them (anyone who actually may have flipped through the channels and saw a glimpse of them...)? I still like Pokémon! ...Only the Japanese uncut episodes though...
(4) Yes, I played the incredibly awesome game 'Bayonetta' when my best friend got it for her 360. It is a good game though...
(5) Believe it or not, this was actually my reaction when I saw the exposé on Bayonetta on X-Play. I was at work with my mom and when I had the TV to my self I saw the story, sat down through the whole thing, and at the end, literally went, 'Da-yumm!'
(6) Lolz and ultimate respect to the minds behind 'Naruto: Abridged' and, well, almost every other good abriged series.
(7) Yaoi fans might recognize the names, but if you don't... These three characters are from the yaoi anime 'Gravitation'. It was awesome~ (Kind of misses it)
(8) On Hetalia - Axis Powers, Finland (Tino) is said to be Santa Claus. No, I don't know how true that is, but I chose to make him a judge.
(9) This is actually a real song. It's called 'The Ultimate Yaoi Fangirl Song' and you can look it up on youtube. It's hilarious really.
(10) I have no idea what the hell that word meant. It's part of the song though...
(11) In the game 'Bayonetta', this is Bayonetta's finishing attack for most of the big bosses she faces. Interesting way to start the Games, huh? The whole losing her clothes thing is just a side-effect...
Phew! Glad that's out of the way. The first game is up next! Ya-hoo! Please read and review. And remember, I'm still taking ideas for games.
-Tyranno's girl.