'Can I stay here tonight?' Peter asked, breaking the silence of their tender embrace
'Course you can, but.. Leanne?' Carla said
'Don't worry, I'll sort it, I just need to be with you' Peter said as Carla nodded, finding it hard to believe the words coming from his mouth
'Do you want a shower or something Peter' Carla suggested, as he had been crying
'Would that be okay?' Peter asked
'Yes, course' Carla said pulling away from him gently, before disappearing into her room and bringing out a towel for him. His eyes moved to her bedroom, the door ajar. He had never been into that room.
'I'll be out in a bit' Peter said, kissing Carla on the temple before going into her bathroom.
Carla put the kettle on and sat on the couch, replaying the last 10 minutes in her head. He had told her loved her. He actually said the words. She found it hard to believe, but it so wonderful. She prayed he wouldn't regret it in the morning. After everything that had happened with Frank, she was nervous and apprehensive about relationships, and she didn't know how she would cope if Peter ended it with her, after telling her he loved her. Frank had told her loved her, and then had raped her, was that really what you did to people who you loved?
Peter lay in the bath, the hot water stinging his skin. He had done it. It had felt like a release, as though he had been submerged in water for too long, and come up for breath. But he also felt guilty. He had worked hard, over the past few years to build up a stable relationship with Leanne, in order for Simon to have the stability he needed.
But the truth was, it had failed. Yes, he loved Leanne, he couldn't deny that. But she wanted different things, a baby for starters. And she was constantly disappointed with him - if he told her he was struggling to stay sober she would only make him feel worse, rather than support him and help him through it. And, although he had said he had forgiven her, his knowledge of her and Nick's affair was lodged in his mind.
So what was he doing? He was doing the same thing as Leanne no? No, he had fought this for over a year, he hadn't given in, despite the numerous occasions where he was that tempted. And it was more than that, he needed Carla, just as much as she needed him. They had both seen each other at their lowest points, and yet still managed to bring each other back up. He wanted her, he wanted to protect her, to keep her safe, to help her heal from Frank.
Peter came out, the towel wrapped around his waist. Carla glanced at him, she hadn't seen him this bare before, and she couldn't deny her gaze the eye-candy it wanted. She shyly looked away, she had never used to be this shy, and nervous, but Frank had shattered her confidence.
Peter smiled as he saw the way Carla had looked at him, before turning away. She was at the counter, stirring the tea she had made. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, his damp skin warm and fresh against her shirt. She shivered slightly as his body pressed against hers, and held onto his arms - she felt safe. He nuzzled her neck slightly, kissing it lightly.
He let her go and went back into the bathroom, putting his clothes back on.
'I think I have an old shirt of Paul's you can wear if you want Peter' she said
'No it is okay, I'm fine' Peter said before she handed him a cup of tea
'Are you okay?' he asked Carla, who was quiet
'Yeah, I'm taking this all in Peter' she said
'So am I' he said, with a gruff laugh
'Do you really mean it Peter' she asked, after a moment
Peter nodded
'Say it' she said in an almost whisper
'I mean it' he said, taking her hand in his, and drawing loose circles on her arm with his finger
'It took me this long to accept it Carla, seeing you.. in the last few months.. I almost lost you, it was the hardest thing' Peter said, not making much sense
'I'm sorry.. that was so selfish of me' Carla said, referring to her attempted suicide
'I can't bear to think that you felt like that.. I'm sorry for what Leanne said' Peter said, remembering Leanne's harsh words to Carla, and him unable to say anything
'Don't Peter, she apologized.. and well, I deserved them' Carla said
Peter shook his head 'You didn't' he said before pulling her against him, so she could rest against him. He stroked her head, as he had done when he had taken her home those weeks ago.
'I'm not leaving this time' he whispered