Honey Eyes A Bleach Fanfiction S. Lazic

The Truth

Kazumi Hirowari-Hakagoji walked away from Squad One then through the streets and fields surrounding the Seireitei, wasting time while on her way to deliver some reports to the Captain of Squad Nine, Kensei Muguruma.

Walking into Squad Nine really did not sit well within her stomach considering Kensei Muguruma was one person who enjoyed annoying her to the point that the want to strangle the man was all she could think about. Not only was he an imposing man, powerful and intimidating, he also knew and acted that he was. Whenever she was around the silver haired man, he tried his best to make her blanch. In fact, it seemed to be a game on his part, spooking her. Oddly, his game had become a daily tradition that Kazumi was bent upon winning sooner or later. He may be a brute but she was a thinker, and out thinking that man was simple - at least off the battle field. He may try to spook her with his untamed behavior but it was Kazumi who would leave the Captain stumped on one cognitive puzzle or another, often times leaving him in a rage and Shinji laughing. Even though the game was entertaining dealing with his ego was not. But duty was duty, and the papers had to be delivered.

As she walked across one of the many gardens of the Seireitei, Kazumi's mind drifted back to the conversation she had with Shinji the other day. She had wanted to tell him something of great importance, yet Sōsuke Aizen interrupted them with a call from the Head-Captain. She was still disappointed in the fact that Shinji had to leave for a sudden meeting without finding out what she needed to tell him. What she had to tell him was vital to their relationship - life changing.

Sighing, Kazumi stopped beneath a cherry tree, lifting her eyes to the last of the blossoms peeking out between budding green leaves, beautiful but simple at the same time. She touched a hand to her flat stomach. Eight months. Captain Unohana had confirmed the pregnancy only a few weeks ago when Kazumi had fallen ill one morning. She had been ill for long enough that Shinji insisted she see the Captain of Squad Four. Going to see Captain Unohana had been frightening, and Kazumi had worried that hers and Shinji's secret would escape the privacy of her visit, so she insisted to Captain Unohana to keep the news quiet for now so that Kazumi could surprise the father privately. There had been a skeptical look that passed through Captain Unohana's gentle eyes, a look of understanding as to who the 'father' was, yet she agreed with a simple nod. Eight months to go. That would put her child born sometime in January.

What would Shinji say?

For the last few weeks, Kazumi had pondered exactly how Shinji would react to the news. Would he be happy and excited or would he be upset with her? Then again, why would he be upset with her? It was not as if she had gotten pregnant on her own and he was just there watching from the side lines.

"What am I going to do?" she quietly asked herself as she closed her eyes and leaned back to the tree behind her.

"You can put those papers down and kiss your man hello. Don't leave me hanging here!"

Her eyes flew opened as she released a scream of surprise! Papers went everywhere as she fell to the ground upon her rump. "Shinji!" she yelped, staring at the upside down and sarcastic, toothy grin of her lover.

Shinji Hirako, suspended upside down in mid-air, grinned widely to his lover. Though he knew better, he could not help but surprising her whenever the opportunity came about. With long strands of his golden-blond hair falling towards the ground, Shinji took a few steps on thin air till he was face to face with her. 'Sky-Walking' was a trademark talent of his, and one he was proud of.

He smirked while tipping his head. "You know you're upside down, right?"

Kazumi curled her fingers in the grass as she growled angrily to him; her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were narrowed. "Must you do that?"

Shinji blinked his eyes to her, and a devious grin laced his lips as they drew wide. He playfully poked a finger to her nose. "You're adorable when you're mad at me."

Kazumi snapped her teeth at his finger.

With a yelp, Shinji yanked back his finger just in time to stare at her with wide eyes. "What'd I do?"

"You always think it's so amusing to appear out of nowhere, mostly upside down, just to spook me. You already enjoy doing that to Sōsuke, must you do it to me?" She muttered her question as she began to brush off the sleeves of her Shihakusho. Her eyes blinked when she felt fingers grip her chin gently, lifting her gaze.

"I've been following you for a little while, Kazumi,' he said in quiet thought, skimming his spindly fingertips along her chin, 'and all I saw was you walking with your head in your thoughts and your eyes on the ground. You looked troubled, so I thought I'd cheer you up."

The irritation of being spooked melted from her as her lover caressed her skin. He could be annoying and childish at times then caring and deeply worried the next. He was an enigma, a quagmire of personalities. In the end, however, he was Shinji Hirako. And she loved him. Smiling softly, she tipped her head just in time to touch a kiss to his passing fingertips before shifting to her knees so she could gather the distorted papers. Before her, Shinji disappeared in Shunpo only to appear at her side, kneeling and gathering the papers as well.

"What were you thinking?" he asked softly, all play from his voice gone.

"Remember the other day,' she began to say as she tucked back a long lock of her hair behind an ear, 'when I said I had something very important to tell you?"

Shinji's eyes shifted to the side as he began to sort through the boring crap he had suffered during the meeting till he was pondering back upon to the other day. Oh, yeah! They had been talking in his office. Kazumi was on his lap, he was working his charm on her while she was trying to tell him something, then he was trying to kiss her while she was trying to tell him something, but then Sōsuke arrived to ruin their much needed personal time.

With a sigh, he sat back and turned his head so he could look to her with a slender brow raised. "Yeah, I remember. What was it you wanted to tell me?"

There came those drunk butterflies again, flopping about within her stomach. Sighing, Kazumi rocked back to stand then stepped away from him to lean back against the tree. She slid her hands between her back and the sharp bark of the tree. Shinji was looking at her with a confused and uncertain expression upon his features. Did he know?

"What's wrong?" he inquired gently as he set the papers he had gathered to the side then stood so he could step to her. A frown pulled upon Shinji's handsome face as he felt the weight of her thoughts pressing down upon her as if her thoughts were as heavy as her Spiritual Pressure. Not to mention that there was sadness in her eyes that he suddenly realized he had seen often when they were able to see each other. She was worried, and it showed.

Licking her lips, Kazumi ducked her eyes and turned her head to the side. Shaking his head, Shinji set a palm to her turned cheek, guiding her eyes back to him. "What have I told you about looking away from me? You don't ever need to be afraid to speak your mind with around me," he muttered, annoyed to the fact that she still wouldn't look to him.

"Come on,' he grumbled, 'we've been together for a while now. You shouldn't be doing that anymore."

Kazumi lifted her beautiful honey touched eyes to his. She smiled softly. "I'm sorry, Shinji," she said sensitively, letting her gaze wonder his handsome features. Drawing a hand from behind her, she lifted fingers to comb through his long hair. "It's just, I'm not sure how to tell you this. The news I have to tell you is not easy for me to say. It's difficult."

One eye narrowed while the other went wide as Shinji's mind overreacted and began to contemplate everything that she could say that would be negative. Was she seeing somebody else? Shinji's lips went tight as his eyes locked to her. "I see,' he began to mutter harshly, 'nice way to tell me. I thought we trusted each other, Kazumi."

A deep expression of confusion crossed Kazumi's features. "What are you talking about? Of course we can trust each other."

Shinji growled. There was one thing he couldn't stand, besides Sōsuke, and that was betrayal. And the worst kind of betrayal was the betrayal of the heart. "Obviously not, if you've been keeping secrets from me."

"I had my reasons!"

"Trust is easily broken, huh?" His lips curled back to release a low snarl. "I should've known. You played a good game, Hirowari-Hakagoji,' he muttered, fighting back the sudden urge to wrap his fingers about her throat, 'but the game stops here and now. Who is he?"

The snarl from her lover decorated Kazumi's skin with little prickles and her heart to skip a few beats. There was a look in his eyes, dangerous and deadly, that she had never seen before. It was the intensity that frightened her; Kazumi pushed herself against the cherry tree. "I don't understand," she said, gulping as Shinji brought his face closer to hers. "I thought you wouldn't be mad at me."

"Come on,' he teased with a wicked purr, 'I won't hurt the guy too much. There may be something left for you to play with after, if you don't mind a bloody corpse."

"What are you talking about?" she whimpered.

Before Shinji could analyze his pained emotions, he was lifting a hand, reaching for her throat.

Kazumi flinched as she sucked in a breath upon seeing his eyes go distant as if his action was coming from deep within his soul, a dark part of his soul that he kept hidden. Gently - slowly, she took his hand only to hear the most painful growl slip from his throat. What was wrong with him?

"Shinji." She spoke his name softly, taking his hand to press his palm over her stomach, "You idiot. I'm…pregnant."

What did she just say? Shinji's pale brown eyes went wide as his hand was pressed against her stomach. He froze as he stared into her eyes while thinking how fast his anger had swept through him, taking control of him. Their eyes locked, and without looking down, he spread his lean fingers over her flat belly. There was silence between them as he ordered his mind to return to reality and process what she had just told him. Pregnant. Shinji took a deep breath as every emotion one could experience upon hearing such news came trickling into him: fear, sadness, hope, joy, anxiety, pain, anticipation, hesitation, delight and pleasure.

She was pregnant.

"Kazumi," his unsteady voice whispered. Then it struck him. He was a complete and utter bastard for everything he just said! And to think he was about to hurt her because of his quick stupidity. He groaned, bowing his head. "I'm so sorry for what I just said. I don't know what came over me."

"You thought I have been seeing somebody else?" She frowned seeing him bow his head. His hand was shaking against her belly. "Shinji,' she said softly, moving both her hands to cup his face and lift his gaze up to her, 'you idiot. Has Hiyori knocked the common sense from your head?"

"Not yet." His eyes moved back down to where his hand was resting upon her stomach. Something inside of him, intense and protective, coiled tightly within his soul. "A baby," he chuckled breathily, then he raised his eyes back to her. "You sure it's mine?"

*smack*

Shinji's lips parted in a silent 'ow' before he chuckled.

"Of course the child is yours. Don't be…"

"An idiot?" he asked with a devious grin pulling his lips. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I have been trying to tell you for a while now but every time I managed to get the strength to do so you were dragged away on business"

"When did you find out?"

Sighing, her shoulders slumped and her eyes turned away from him. "A few weeks ago."

"It was morning sickness, wasn't it?" he asked as he closed his eyes, pressing his fingertips to her stomach as if searching for any sensation of life. No, it was probably too early to feel any Spiritual Presence from a developing fetus at such an early stage.

"Yes. Captain Unohana is the only other person who knows, Shinji. I begged her not to put my condition in her report. You know that all pregnancies are to be reported to the Head-Captain for safety purposes. She would have needed your name to list on her report, but I convinced her to hold off till I told you first. I couldn't allow a controversy to develop."

"Controversy? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you know." Kazumi groaned, rolling her eyes then said, "It would be a horrible scandal if my Captain found out about us. He wouldn't be too happy. An affair between a Captain and a lower rank Soul Reaper isn't encouraged, especially when such an affair produced evidence of the affair in the form of a child. I would not want to cause you the loss of your rank as Captain, or your respect for that fact."

"Shut up," groaned Shinji, his eyes turning dark. His voice was harsh enough that he drew Kazumi's attention. "I don't want to hear that. That's Seireitei bull shit. There's no rule in the books that says a Captain can't fall in love with somebody of lower rank."

"But it's frowned upon."

"So what?" He grumbled as he brushed her lips with his fingertips. "We love each other, Kazumi, and that should be good enough for those stuck up, loveless bastards rotting away down in Central Forty-Six." When she whimpered and looked away, he sighed and leaned to kiss to her cheek. "There's no shame in the love we have for each other. Let old Captain Yamamoto tell me that my child is a product of controversy. I'll prove him wrong and do so with my Zanpakutou."

His child. Kazumi's heart swelled as he spoke so heatedly, so passionately and so possessively, over their baby. Her eyes drifted closed as she took a steady breath. Then there was a sniffle followed by tears slipping down her cheeks. When she opened her eyes, the honey color had darkened by the wetness of her tears. "Are you alright with this, Shinji?"

Tears? Why was she crying? His fingers shifted along her cheeks, gathering the wetness of her tears. For a moment, he was silent as he looked to his damp fingertips then closed his eyes as he took in the feeling of her stomach beneath his other hand.

"I'm going to be a father," he whispered out loud and at the same time answering her question. Then his eyes opened and he gave his lover, the mother of his child, the goofiest grin he could muster. "I'm going to be a dad."

Kazumi nodded an uneasy nod, but a nod none the least. She covered his hand upon her belly with one of hers and nuzzled his hand that remained upon her cheek. "Yes, you're going to be a daddy."

Shinji smirked then brought her lips to his. He kissed her beneath the cherry tree with a kiss that was heated and passionate, and he felt her tremble against him. With a groan, he let the kiss soften before drawing his lips away. He asked cautiously, "What about you? How do you feel about this little bundle of joy?"

"Scared, very scared," replied Kazumi softly as she gripped his hand upon her stomach. "You won't leave me - us - will you, Shinji?"

Shinji furrowed his brows and snorted, "And you call me an idiot. Are you kidding? You're not leaving my side. First thing tomorrow, I'm putting a direct order to Head-Captain Kiss-my-ass to have you transferred to my Squad. I'm not going to be more than a foot away from you till this child is born."

Kazumi paled and whimpered, "He'll want to know why. It's very rare that such a request is proposed."

"I won't have to tell that old bastard anything. He'll figure it out after I tell Captain Unohana to put my name on the dotted line as sperm donor." He chuckled when he saw a blush spread upon Kazumi's cheeks. "Besides, if that old man can't tell a pregnant woman from a cow, I'm reporting him to Central Forty-Six for being senile."

Kazumi groaned pitifully. "You're going to get yourself demoted."

"Whatever. I'll tell him what he needs to know and nothing else. You won't have to worry. I'll handle everything. You just concentrate on taking care of both of you." Shinji kissed his lover again, whispering softly against her lips, "I won't let anything happen to either of you. I swear on my life."

Mewing, Kazumi returned his kiss and shivered to his declaration. She knew he would keep his word and not let anything happen to either her or their child. "In a few months,' she began to say as their lips parted, 'Captain Unohana will request that I have my duties reduced. She will assign me to desk duty before going on maternity leave. Once she signs the paperwork, there's no stopping my Captain from finding out about us."

"And that's why I want you transferred to my Squad, so I can keep an eye on you and your health. I'll make sure you're not doing too much. The Head-Captain shouldn't have too much of a problem with this."

"I hope not."

"Don't worry. I'll go with you to see Captain Unohana," said Shinji as he brushed his fingers through her hair, loving how the sun reflected upon the red highlights. "You're not going to do this alone."

Kazumi smiled and nodded. "Thank you. I'll contact her and set up an appointment tomorrow."

A grin spread Shinji's lips as his eyes turned wicked and devious. "Who are we going to tell first? You know me, I can't keep my big mouth shut for too long."

"Only those we can trust to keep their mouths shut better than we can trust your big mouth." Kazumi smirked, finally moving from him so she could gather the papers she was supposed to be delivering to the Kensei.

"Well, there goes both Sōsuke and Hiyori and the green-haired demon that follows Kensei around."

"Oh, come on." Kazumi chuckled, looking back to him as she stood. "If I don't tell Hiyori, she will hunt you down and hurt you."

"Me?" Shinji barked, pointing a finger to his chest. "What did I do?"

Kazumi didn't have to say anything but point one finger to her stomach.

"Tch." Shinji shrugged his shoulders, turning from her. "Not my fault." He smirked to himself as he started to walk away knowing she was already heading to Squad Nine's barracks, might as well give Kensei a reason to destroy the entire Soul Society. Shinji was going to be a dad. It was the start of Armageddon! Oh, he was going to have fun with this one.

"Not your fault?" Kazumi snapped, glaring at his departing backside all in play. "How is this not your fault? Remember that one night when I said 'no Shinji, this isn't a good time unless you want to hear the pitter patter of little feet'. Remember that?"

That stopped him. Shinji glanced back to her then raised his eyes to the sky. "I thought you were talking about puppies."

She huffed, holding the papers to her chest, and moved to follow after him. "Never mind. I think I'll just let Hiyori kick your ass, and I'll hold you down while she does it."

"Now, now, sweetheart," purred Shinji with a grin as he slipped an arm about her shoulders once she was at his side. "That's how we got this little bun-in-the-oven in the first place."

"This is the reason why I have not introduced you to my parents," She muttered, casting him a sarcastic smile.

"That's alright. They wouldn't be able to handle my charming personality anyway." He nodded curtly as if agreeing with his own statement. Hearing his lover's growl, he smiled softly while giving her a squeeze against his body. "I have an idea. Since you're heading to the Squad Nine anyway, let's give Kensei a heart-attack. It'll be fun!"

Kazumi groaned, slapping a hand to her face. "Shinji…"

"I know. I'm an idiot."

Kazumi smiled to him and said softly, "Yes, but I love you anyway."

What happened?

Juliana's eyes drifted open, hazed and confused, to look about a room of simple decoration, a washitsu. Pain burned at the back of her skull, nipping and clawing at the top of her spine. With a hiss, she squinted her honey touched eyes in hopes of keeping her simmering headache under control. What happened to her? Her memory was foggy at best, but she remembered Hiyori and an odd man, who had answered the door. She had taken one look in his eyes before feeling her mind being swept up within a cloud of darkness. Dizziness. Juliana remembered intense dizziness before her head spun and her body went week. Had she fainted? Did she fall and strike her head, is that why her head hurt? It seemed that fainting was becoming a weekly activity for her.

Kisuke.

Despite the pain, Juliana's eyes went wide as that name broke through her mind. "Kisuke," she whispered as realization struck her. Yes! That's the name she had said right before everything went black.

Sighing, she ran a trembling hand over her face and licked her dry lips. How long had she been unconscious? Minutes? Hours? What time was it? The moment she turned her head to look for a clock, pain struck her. She winced and a closed lipped whimper pushed past her lips as she grasped the side of her head. Her features twisted as deep, gulping breaths tore through her body pushing her lungs to expand. Her head was throbbing, spasming within her skull, and ached to the very core.

"What are you going to tell her?"

Voices. Juliana forced her eyes open and her head to roll to the side when she heard a quiet voice from outside the room and saw through her wonky vision two shadows standing outside the panel doors. One was short with pigtails, Hiyori, while the other was tall and wearing a hat, Kisuke.

"That depends on how much she remembers."

"I should call Shinji. He needs to be here."

Kisuke shook his head as he stepped towards the panels. "No. I would prefer to leave him out of this till I figure out what is going on. It's for the best."

Then one of the panels was slipping open, the soft sound of wood gliding against wood ground within Juliana's pulsating brain. She tried to sit up when Kisuke entered but her body collapsed before her limbs could stabilize her. A blur moved, and within a second Kisuke was next to her, gathering her into his strong yet gentle arms. She felt herself being pressed to a hard chest where beneath a panicked heart thumped wildly.

"Juliana! What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know. Go get Tessai, now!"

Juliana's pain filled eyes drew open letting her look upon the concerned features of Kisuke Urahara. Their eyes locked for just a few seconds before she winced, ducked her head, and buried her contorted face against his green Shihakusho. His arms about her tightened followed by a whisper of soothing words. "Hold on Kazumi. Just hold on…"

Then darkness enfolded her within its wings, sweet - blessed darkness.

Time passed, minutes slowly turned in to hours when Juliana was finally able to open her eyes. She felt exhausted, so much so that she could hardly move her head. She remembered this room, it was the same room she had woken up in earlier, but there was a difference this time. There was no pain. In fact, her headache was gone. She must have passed out again, probably from the intense pain that had raged through her. So how many hours had passed this time? With no window in the room it was hard to tell if it was day or night outside, and there was no clock either. This time when she made a move to sit up all she felt was exhausted muscles being forced to work.

"Where am I?" she asked groggily to the empty room.

Well, she couldn't sit around and wait for somebody to come in and answer her questions. Sitting up came with a price, a little touch of vertigo but she swept that away with a shake of her head and a gritting of her teeth. With some work, she was able to stand up on her shaky legs. Carefully, Juliana forced her bare feet to move, and once she had her footing she slowly shuffled her way to the panel door that she inched open.

From what she could tell, there was no one in the hallway, and it appeared that nobody was around at all. There were no voices or sounds of movement, nothing. Slipping out of the room, she wandered the hallway till she was able to hear the faint sound of voices, two males and one female. She recognized Hiyori's voice, and the girl was mad. Correction, enraged. All Juliana had to do was follow her friend's angered voice, tiptoeing on unsteady toes till she came to the panel door of another room; the voices were coming from within.

"You shouldn't have brought her here, Hiyori," she heard Kisuke state in a tone of grave disappointment.

"What was I supposed to do, Kisuke?" snapped Hiyori. "She asked me to bring her here. She wants to find out why she's been having dreams about her past life!"

"Dreams are just dreams, nothing else," said another male with a deeper and more condescending voice.

"What do you know about it?" snapped Hiyori with a nasty hiss to her voice. "It's not like either of you care about her!"

"That's not the point," Kisuke said as his voice softened to sigh. "Bringing her here will destroy her."

"How will it destroy her? You don't even know her!"

"On the contrary. I know Miss. Juliana Stanford very well, and have for a long time."

That's when the shoji panel drew open. Juliana had heard enough. One thing she did not appreciate were people talking about her behind her back. All conversation stopped and all eyes looked right to her, and she glared right back. There was Hiyori, looking as if she was either about to wreak havoc on the table or burst into tears. Then there were the two men - one, unknown to her, wearing dark sunglasses with his hair parted into rows and tightly braided, and then there was Kisuke.

"Kisuke," she growled, stepping into the room.

Hiyori frowned and sat back upon her zabuton. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

Lifting a hand, Juliana stopped her friend from speaking, though her eyes never left Kisuke. "You and I need to have a chat," she told him as she crossed her arms to her chest.

Silence.

It wasn't as if Kisuke was unsettled by her sudden presence, not at all. He just didn't know how to explain to her what she no doubt wanted to know. Where to begin? And how much did she already know? He had to be careful. This wasn't a game, a twisted form of Tetris of the mind where bits and pieces of her memory and of her life had to be delicately fitted together.

With a deep breath, he nodded his head and motioned to an empty mat then tucked his arms into the deep sleeves of his green coat. "Have a seat. Ask me anything that is on your mind."

Juliana turned her eyes to the man with the glasses, staring him squarely to his covered eyes.

"I'll go make some tea," he said to nobody then stood and left the room, closing the panel door behind him.

Hiyori flinched when Juliana's eyes came to her, but only for a moment before she scowled, crossed her arms, then planted her ass firmly to the mat. "I'm not leaving, and you can't make me."

Juliana smiled softly as she crossed the small round table then carefully and slowly sat to a mat. "I wouldn't ask you to leave, Hiyori. You being here is important to me. Besides, you need to keep me from kicking this man's ass."

"Do I have to?" grumbled Hiyori. "I can't promise on holding you back."

Juliana turned to Kisuke and said, "Well? Go ahead. There's something about me that is weighing heavily upon your soul."

"You have no idea," sighed Kisuke Urahara.

"You're right. I have no idea," Juliana muttered and with a frown as she saw the man's shoulders slump. "But I'm here now, so why don't you get everything off your chest and be honest with me as to what is going on with my dreams."

"I wish it were that easy," said Kisuke, finally lifting his eyes. The last time he had seen her was twelve years ago. She hadn't changed, not one bit. "I warn you. If I tell you what I know, your very life, your very existence, is going to change. I'm not sure you're ready for the truth, not just yet. Besides, there are others that need to be considered along with this decision, not just you."

"It's not up to you or any other to decide what I can and cannot handle," she muttered then looked to Hiyori. "I already know about them and about Shinji. I already know who I once was and what I meant to all of them. I have been having more and more past life dreams. The medication I'm supposed to be taking to control my nightmares is not helping any more. I need answers, and I know you have them."

When he turned his gaze away, Juliana's anger coiled heatedly and she brought a hand to slam down to the tabletop with such strength that it splintered the wood. "Who do you think you are? You have no right to keep vital information about my life from me!" She pointed a finger towards him in an accusatory way. "I had a dream the other night where I watched Kazumi slice open her wrist and your name was spoken from the lips of somebody who scared the life out of me. You have my answers."

Kisuke felt his body tighten and, closing his eyes, sighed. That wasn't just a dream she was talking about, that was her past - not just Juliana's past but Kazumi's past. "How often are these dreams coming to you?" he asked softly.

"You had two last night," Hiyori said softly.

Juliana groaned, "Don't remind me."

"Any others?" Kisuke asked, peeking his eyes from beneath the rim of his hat.

"Yes," Juliana answered as she took a deep breath. "I have had many in my life, but always few and far between and always controlled by the pills I have been taking. Without them, the dreams are out of control. But then I met Shinji and I have had maybe one every night. I don't think the pills are working anymore. In fact, I had one a few nights ago that I am still not sure was a nightmare."

Kisuke narrowed his eyes. "Tell me of this particular dream."

Juliana shrugged while nibbling on the inside of a cheek. "It was a very bizarre incident. But a few nights ago I took my dog out for a walk, as I do almost every night, but while out this unknown guy appeared. I froze when I saw him - petrified. He called me Kazumi, and he kissed me. After that, everything went black. My father found me standing in the street in a daze. It wasn't a dream, but then it had to have been a dream."

"Why do you say that?"

"The guy I met now has a name, Sōsuke. He was the same man who has appeared in some of my past life dreams. So the incident can't be anything more than a dream if the man was from my past." Juliana shivered and breathed out heavily. "But the meeting seemed so very real. He kissed me, and since then…something's been changing."

Kisuke shifted, lowering his chin as he looked to the table top. One every night? That wasn't good. More memories meant that either the medication's strength needed to be increased or it was failing all together. "Has anything occurred that could have caused more of the dreams, perhaps an event or perhaps you met somebody new?"

"Besides meeting a guy who isn't supposed to be alive on a street and having him kiss me?"

"She said they started when she met Shinji, you idiot!" Hiyori snapped, glaring at her ex-Captain. "There's your person!"

Juliana smiled at Hiyori's little outburst.

"Shinji, huh? That could be the reason," nodded Kisuke.

Juliana turned a critical eye to Kisuke and inquired, "What are you saying? How could Shinji be the cause of the dreams? I have had these dreams since I was a child, far before I even knew him."

Slipping his hat from his head, Kisuke looked to Juliana and to her honey touched eyes. "The medication you have been taking,' he began to explain quietly, knowing that after saying this the floodgate of honesty would be opened, 'was designed to keep these so called memories or dreams, as they are passed off as being, from continuing or from getting worse. Obviously, there has been a hiccup."

"Wait, you know about her medication?" Hiyori inquired, looking from Kisuke then to Juliana then back to Kisuke.

Juliana's eyes widened then narrowed angrily, dangerously towards him. "You're speaking about my pills."

Kisuke nodded.

"Will somebody answer my question?" barked Hiyori.

Kisuke went silent and lowered his eyes once again.

So Juliana took that initiative and answered her friend. "Ever since I was a child, I have been taking medication every night to control the night-terrors that I have experienced, and still suffer from. They would often be so bad that I would be traumatized for days. Eventually, my parents put me on these pills that kept the dreams away. If I missed one night, my dreams would come back, but for the most part the nightmares and night-terrors were contained. However, there have been times when the dosage was increased whenever the dreams became so strong that they couldn't be suppressed."

"Wait,' Hiyori drew in a long gasp as she turned her eyes towards her ex-Captain, 'that sounds familiar. You bastard!" She then turned her building rage on Kisuke, leaning across the low table as if she were ready to launch herself at him with flying fists. "How could you do this to her?"

Kisuke didn't say anything. He lifted his eyes and leveled them to Hiyori, and the look he gave her silenced his ex-Lieutenant and sat her back on the mat.

Juliana, on the other hand, blinked in confusion when she witnessed Hiyori silenced. "What did you mean, Hiyori?"

The heavy silence of the room dissipated when the soft sound of the panel door opening eased the weighted emotions. Tessai passed a curious look to the three at the table, grumbling something as he stepped forwards to set a tray to the top of the table. He didn't say a word as he began to pour the tea then, in silence, departed the room once again.

When the door closed, Hiyori hissed like a snake, "You worthless piece of crap." She may have been set back by his glare but that didn't stop her from voicing her opinion. "You don't have the balls to tell her, do you? Fine,' she hissed as she turned her attention to Juliana, 'I'll tell her."

"Hiyori," snarled Kisuke in warning.

She didn't listen and went on to say, "It wasn't long after jack-ass here created the Department of Research and Development that he created a powder that, when given to a person, would wipe away an individual's memories and lock them within the person's subconscious. But it was only in the experimental stage and had not gone through the test stage that might have provide data on the practical use of it. That crap never saw the light of day."

"What happened to this powder?" asked Juliana.

"There were…complications."

Juliana's eyes narrowed. "Complications?"

Hiyori growled and slid her narrowed eyes to Kisuke. "The stuff seemed to work for a while, but then a trigger object or a trigger word would bring the memories back in the forms of horrific nightmares. Sometimes the memories were changed, twisted by the subconscious, and sometimes these changes would drive the subject to insanity causing the person to act out in violence as if they were living their night-terrors during their sleep."

Juliana felt her entire body go cold, and her eyes shifted to Kisuke, who was staring at the table top.

"Why, Kisuke?" Hiyori asked, her voice having gone soft yet still holding an underlined tone of disbelief. "Why did you give that stuff to her when you knew what could happen?"

"It was the only choice I had given the events that were occurring at that time, Hiyori." Kisuke sighed and closed his eyes. He took a breath and then another in order to calm himself. He then opened his troubled eyes to look towards Juliana only to see pain and confusion reflected in her gaze. "You must understand that, when you were brought to me, I didn't have many choices on how to handle your condition."

"Don't make excuses!" Hiyori snapped, pointing a finger to her friend across the table. "Kazumi died! Why torture her reborn soul?"

Juliana's eyes met Kisuke's steady gaze and saw regret flashing with in them. "Because,' she said softly, 'Kazumi never died."

Hiyori's eyes went wide.

Kisuke looked away.

And that's when Juliana knew the truth. "That's it, isn't it?" The final piece of the puzzle was put into place and the weight of the realization pressed down upon Juliana's heart.

After a few moments of silence, Hiyori spoke up. She muttered softly, "You've lost me."

"I had really hoped that this day wouldn't come," Kisuke said as he shifted in his knelt position to take up a teacup. "Not for my sake but for your sake, Juliana."

"Don't call me that." Juliana shook her head. "I want you to call me by my real name, the name I was born with and the name I had been known by."

"That's it!" snapped Hiyori. "I want to know what is going on and I want to know now!"

Kisuke remained silent as he lifted his teacup to his lips that pursed to blow at the steam teasing the surface of the hot drink. He took a slow sip as if allowing the weight of the conversation to disperse beneath the thickness that was so dense it could be cut with a Zanpakutou. After allowing a sip of the warm brew to course through his body, he set the cup down then looked to the woman across the table.

"Your name,' he explained, 'is Kazumi Hirowari-Hakagoji. You were once the 7th seat to Squad One and lover to Shinji Hirako. A little over a hundred years ago you tried to take your own life, but your attempted was thwarted and you were brought to me, bleeding and close to death."

"I did what I had to do,' he went on to say with a sharpness to his voice, 'to save your life."

Silence fell, but it was short lived as Juliana asked, "But why?"

"Because Shinji had already lost so much at the hands of Sōsuke Aizen," he answered somberly. "Shinji didn't deserve to lose the woman he loved, the woman who was carrying his child. It would have destroyed him to know you had taken not only your life but the life of the unborn child you shared with him."

Hiyori looked horrified, and the color of her skin drained from her face. No, this couldn't be possible. There was no way Juliana could really be Kazumi! "So your dreams were real. You were pregnant."

Juliana gave a somber nod. "Yes."

"They're not really dreams, per say." Kisuke whispered softly as he took another sip of his tea, "They are your resurfacing memories. Somehow, they are pushing through the memory block of the medication."

"But how can they be memories if I never knew who I was?" Juliana asked.

Kisuke shrugged. "I would have to do some research as to why the drug has failed. You're at the limit for the dosage strength. Maybe your memories are now too strong for the drug."

"But why not let me continue on living as Kazumi? Why did I become Juliana Stanford?" Juliana shook her head as she reached for her teacup. "I mean, I have spent my entire life thinking my parents are my parents, but that's impossible, isn't it? I was never born to them."

"One question at a time."

"Very well," she sighed and glanced down to the steam drifting from her cup. "What happened to me?"

"Exactly what you saw in your dreams, all of them. Your psyche broke when you found out what happened to Shinji and Hiyori, their Hollowfication transformation. I don't have much detail of the exact events that lead to your suicide, but something pushed you over the edge."

"It was Sōsuke Aizen." Juliana looked away and shivered. "After meeting him on the streets, I have been having dreams of him, but I was never able to put a name to the face. But I now know who he is. In some of my dreams, he pushed me over the emotional edge. He threatened to tell the Head-Captain of my pregnancy and my affair with Shinji. He said horrible things to me after Shinji was killed."

"Killed?" Both Kisuke and Hiyori asked the question at the same time.

Juliana nodded. "That's what Sōsuke told me. He told me that all of you were killed. He convinced me that he was my only safe option at the time, but I knew I couldn't trust him. I knew deep down in my soul that he was a very dangerous individual. I couldn't let him take my child from me and use it for his twisted needs. And he would have. Wouldn't he?" She glanced up, her eyes leveled and flat.

Kisuke gave a slow nod, and Juliana shivered again. She went on to ask. "Shinji didn't die, did he?"

"You should ask him about that."

"I plan to," she muttered then shivered in her knelt position. "So who was the man who showed up in Shinji's room a little too late? How did he know to look for me?"

"Before all of us departed the Soul Society, Shinji was able to say one word to me before he went unconscious. He said your name when I told him to find a reason why he should survive. With what limited time I had, I discovered your name and position within the ranks, so I sent an individual I trusted to see to your safety. That man is now a Captain…"

Hiyori groaned. "Mayuri Kurotsuchi."

Kisuke nodded. "I knew that it would be vital for the safety of all of us if you were taken away from the Seireitei. I couldn't let Sōsuke Aizen get his hands on you and your child to use against Shinji, if he ever discovered Shinji's survival. I ordered you to be delivered to the World of the Living as soon as possible. However, I wasn't expecting your condition to be so critical. Luckily, I had a contact in the World of the Living already, and his skills in the medical field aided in your recovery."

"What happened to my baby?"

"The child did not survive the trauma of your blood loss. You had a miscarriage, naturally. Your condition worsened after that because of blood loss. You almost died, but you hung on and you survived. It took one full year for you to recover." Shaking his head of pale blond hair, Kisuke trailed a finger around the rim of his teacup and twisted his lips in thought.

"I don't understand,' said Juliana with a grumble, 'if all of this happen, then why hasn't Shinji or anybody else said anything about it?"

"Yeah?' barked Hiyori, 'I don't remember Kazumi coming to the World of the Living with us!"

"Because they didn't know you had followed. I couldn't take the risk of Shinji knowing of what happened to you. The danger Sōsuke put you through, your suicide attempt, and the loss of your child would have caused Shinji to have a complete psychotic break. He would have stormed the Seireitei to hunt Sōsuke down, and that would have put all of us in danger. As the Visoreds, as they began to call themselves, went through their own recovery, Shinji adapted to the idea that you were living well in the Seireitei. He understood that he would not be unable to contact you till the situation with Sōsuke Aizen was settled. However, we didn't expect the situation to escalate to the level that it has, and to last so long as well."

"I can't believe that Shinji would turn his back on me."

"He wouldn't!" Hiyori smacked a hand to the table and snarled, "And neither would I."

"Please, don't misunderstand me," said Kisuke quietly. "He didn't turn his back on you. I'm sure Hiyori can verify the fact that Shinji never fell out of love with you. I've never known him to look at another woman or take another woman as his lover, even if he does play the charmer for his own amusement."

Juliana looked to Hiyori and asked gently, "Is that true?"

Hiyori blinked her eyes and her heart fell within her chest as she gave a little nod. "Yeah, I guess."

"Shinji never forgot you," Kisuke went on to say. "Then a decade passed and news came to me that it had been announced that you had taken your life due to the shame of bearing Shinji Hirako's child, a traitor to the Soul Society. It was Sōsuke who had spread the rumor, no doubt to hide his own involvement. At first, when Shinji heard the rumor, he wasn't sure he could believe it. Eventually, however, he too thought you had taken your life."

Hiyori nodded. "Yeah, I remember that day. Shinji was never the same. It took him a good decade to become as close to normal as possible but, even then, he never was fully himself."

"This is all very confusing," muttered Juliana as she took another sip of her tea.

"My apologies, but there is no simple way to explain any of this." Kisuke sighed and flipped out his fan to tap against his cheek.

"So Shinji and the others really believed I had died, and that's why they all have thought I was the reincarnated soul of Kazumi without realizing that I am her."

Kisuke nodded.

"So why the entire creation of my fake family and my life? How can one-hundred years go past and I remain no older than twenty-one?"

"I couldn't allow you and Shinji to discover each other when he thought you dead. I knew that Sōsuke would have his associates out looking for any signs of the Visoreds here in the World of the Living, as well as you. He was never a fool. He knew you had been brought here for my care, and he would have done anything to find you. The risk was too great. So two of my associates agreed to become your parents and moved to another country where you could be hidden and protected. This allowed Shinji to go on living as he saw fit." Kisuke shook his head and folded his arms to his chest as he bowed his head. "When life began to pass by, you and your parents would move and your memory would be altered back to a stage where another history could be created."

"My mind was wiped?" Juliana threw up her arms. "Of course! That explains it all, now doesn't it? So every time my age came in to question or my history became a complication to my life, I was uprooted and tossed into another life with my memories removed or altered?" She glared to Kisuke and grumbled, "I don't think I like that."

"It was the only way to protect you."

"And what about the pills, all the treatments I went through?"

"Four decades ago your memories began to surface. I first thought that the trauma you went through had naturally created a wall to your memories, such as many trauma victims experience. But I was wrong. It was then that the decision was made to give you an altered version of the memory altering medication."

"So, for one-hundred years I have been filled with mind altering drugs and medication that controlled my brain? Damn, I'm lucky I'm not a drooling potato." Juliana hung her head and sighed.

"So how did she end up here? Why would her parents, or whoever they are, bring her to Karakura Town if Shinji and the rest of us are here? Wouldn't that pose a risk or something?"

Kisuke glanced to Hiyori and nodded at her barrage of questions. "After enough decades had passed and no threat from Aizen came, your parents and I thought it was for the best that you return here so I could keep an eye on you. I knew that the effects of the drugs would not last forever, nothing ever does."

"Then explain to me why I'm English."

"You've been American and Canadian and Irish. You've also been…"

"French," Juliana added.

Kisuke nodded then continued, "We had to keep moving you whenever I felt Aizen's associates had caught wind of you. It was the only way to throw them off your trail."

"Why haven't I aged?" she asked, glancing down to her body then back up. "The Kazumi I saw in my dreams…memories…was much older than what I look like."

"Another form of distraction to throw off Aizen's hunters. I created a special Gigai for you that would mask your Spiritual Pressure and Spiritual Presence while keeping you looking in your early Twenties. It was designed to alter your image ever so slightly. In that body,' he flicked his fan towards her, 'you would never age. That body is just a shell to harness your soul. It's much like the ones that the Visoreds use, but theirs does not prohibit their Reiatsu."

"This,' she inquired as she touched a hand to her chest, 'is just a shell? How can that be?"

"A Gigai has internal organs, blood flow, brain function, and so on because it is a living body all in itself. I designed it as a container when a Soul Reaper loses his or her body."

"So explain something to me. You and my parents know of me and what has happened. Isn't that risky?"

"Your parents are Soul Reapers, and they are acting as your parents by my command. Over the past century, they have come to see you as their daughter and not Kazumi. Neither they nor I had the opportunity to bond with you as Kazumi. They bonded with you as Juliana Stanford while I distanced myself as much as possible. Does that make sense?"

Juliana nodded. "I can't wrap my head around all that you've told me, but I think I can understand the gist of it all. And what you've told me feels…correct."

Hiyori leaned closer to her friend and asked tenderly, "Are you alright?"

Juliana, no, Kazumi Hirowari-Hakagoji smiled to her friend and took a deep breath before lifting her eyes to Kisuke. "I'm fine." She then looked to Kisuke. "There's only one thing left to do."

"What's that?" inquired Kisuke.

"I need to see Shinji. He needs to know the truth. He needs to know that I'm still alive."

21