THANKS TO: Renny777, Mistress-Cinder, evalilly, MSR82, LostInSpace33, ncmiss12, Eternal Kaila, classicoldmama, isipare, , DPrincess, B-Rock525, mindy781, VAlady

Gah! I hope you all don't hate me for her reaction!

Chapter 10

I fly home as fast as I possibly can and panic and terror are surging through me from her.

Sookie, I'm on my way. Five minutes. It's okay, Älva.

This is not okay. This is not- I want it out. This is not okay. Nothing about this is okay, Eric. It's not. I want it out.

What?

I ask. Does she- did she figure it out? Fuck.

Stay calm, Sookie. It's okay. We'll figure it out, Lover. It'll be okay.

No. This is not. I want it gone. Want it out.

The sheer amount of panic and pain terrifies me and I land in the driveway and can hardly wait the second it takes me to prick my finger and use my key. As soon as I'm inside, I smell her blood.

"SOOKIE!" I scream and race through the house toward the smell. I dart through the closet into the bathroom where I find her with a knife. "Sookie!" I yell and my fangs are itching from the intoxicating scent of her blood which is pooling on the floor. "Lover," I say as I throw myself beside her and take the knife out of her hands. "Sookie," I whisper and assess the damage. She has burns on her stomach. Are those blast burns? And cuts all over.

"What have you done?"

"Get it out, Eric," she says, her nails digging into my arm, her eyes full of terror. "Get it out. I want it out. Now."

"Calm down," I say and pull her against me, biting my wrist as I do. "Drink, Love."

"NO. I don't want to be healed, Eric," she says and shoves my arm away. "I want it out. You swore you'd keep me safe. Take it out!" Her desperate pleas are heart-breaking and I don't understand.

"What's- I-" I'm completely confused. I hadn't told her because I expected she would be completely and utterly protective with motherly instinct and I didn't want to have to do something to get rid of it if it was- "Did you have a dream?" If she had a nightmare or- I don't even know but I'm fucking panicking now.

"NO. I fucking got knocked up by something! Eric! Get it out of me. I don't want it!" She shoves away from me and lunges for the knife.

"Sookie!" I go to grab it and she blasts me away.

"If you won't do it, then I will!" She's about to plunge the knife through her so I throw a towel over her face to distract her so that I can grab the knife and toss it away. Then I yank her into the tub with me. I lock my legs over hers and wrap my arms around her with her arms, like a straight jacket.

"Let me go!" She struggles against me. "Get it out, Eric. I don't want it. I don't- I don't want it. You have to protect me!"

I don't know how to calm this or help her and I'm terrified. I don't know what to do or how I can help her. Of all the reactions I thought she might have, this was not one of them.

"Shh, calm down, so we can figure out our options, but cutting yourself up isn't one of them."

Why on earth is she so panicked? I thought most women want to be mothers and I thought Sookie had wanted to be, if she could have ever stood to have a human male companion. She's certainly loving and compassionate and nurturing.

It's evil. It's some thing. Some thing crawled inside me. It- was there a spell? I don't- I didn't touch anyone else. I don't want this. There's something I don't remember and he's hiding it from me and-

"Sookie, listen to me. I think it's mine."

No. It can't be. It's someone- a witch, a demon, a-

It's mine, Lover.

"It can't be, Eric. It's- while you were away someone must have drugged me or-"

"I think it was the spell that Maurella did, Sookie. I think when she healed my eye, she was glowing and you were glowing too and I think maybe… I don't know. I think maybe it made my sperm viable, maybe gave us a window? I would know if anything else touched you."

She seems to be calming a little and not fighting my grip on her but she's still scared inside.

"I would know, Sookie," I whisper in her ear softly and kiss her temple. "You've been with me and Pam and Tara for the past three weeks and we would have noticed if you'd disappeared, gone to another dimension, or been drugged and raped. I would have smelled another's scent on you. I would know if something or someone else touched mine."

"But you can't, Eric. It's impossible."

"So are werewolves. So are fairies who glow red light and kill vampires. So are witches and memory spells, Sookie. We're talking about a world where magic and alternate realms exist, where the impossible, sometimes becomes possible."

I think she's finally at a point where she's hearing me, listening to me.

"It has to have been that spell, which according to the websites would be timed correctly since you're a week late and the websites say you can get pregnant 2 weeks before your cycle, which would be three weeks ago when the spell happened."

How can this be? How could that spell-

It's Eric's? Eric's baby? I- am pregnant with his baby?

"Believe me, Sookie, my mind has been to all sorts of dark places since I realized-"

"How?" I wonder. "How did you know? My scent?"

"Perhaps, but it's the heartbeat I started hearing the other day."

"It's heartbeat? You- you hear it's heartbeat?"

"Yes, which the websites say starts around day 21 but isn't detectable by machine until later. But…"

"And you didn't fucking TELL me?" How could he not fucking tell me? "Let me go."

"Not until I know you're okay and that you'll take my blood to heal you."

"No. I- is that even safe? If I'm really-" God the word. To say the word out loud is bizarre. "Pregnant. Is- I don't the baby to be a crack baby or something."

"Then let me cut my wrist and let it bleed on you to heal the marks."

"Okay," I nod since I hurt all over my stomach. I tried blasting it out but it wouldn't work. I couldn't penetrate myself no matter how much I tried. It was like there was some sort of shield there or something. Was I protecting it from me? Was it protecting itself? Is it- if it's mine, is it a fairy? It must be part fairy. Right?

He releases me slowly and bites his wrist deeply. "Here, rub it, drip it, whatever. I'll open it up again when it closes." I squeeze the wound and he helps me aim it for my stomach and then his other hand is around my torso helping to rub it over my marred flesh. He opens it two more times so I can really make sure it all heals.

There's still so much racing through my head and my heart. I knew it couldn't be natural. I knew this wasn't for me. The normal human having a baby thing, I knew would never be mine. I've known for a while, even if I'd wanted it. And I really knew I couldn't have it with him. I thought something had crawled inside me or- I just kept thinking of all the terrible things I've seen like demi-goddesses taking over people and making them kill and spells taking people's memories…

"I was so scared, Eric," I confess. I just started panicking. I was terrified he wouldn't love me. I was scared I'd die. "I thought I'd been raped or something, from a spell or- because it's- I know it can't- couldn't be yours."

"I'm sorry, Sookie. I really didn't think you'd react this way," he says as he holds me and starts running water to fill the tub. "I've been trying to get information. I went to the fairies tonight and demanded they find Maurella for us. I didn't want you getting attached before we knew anything."

"You still lied, Eric. I thought we went through this earlier and while we did, you were still hiding something. I can't- I have to know you're not hiding things. I can't do that again, especially not with you." I love him so much more than I ever loved Bill and if he- I can't do it. "It hurt so much to learn the truth about Bill and I can't-"

"I know and I'm sorry. I keep trying to protect you and keep making things worse."

"So stop trying to protect me and assume I'm strong enough to cope. I need you to be honest. Always."

The terror of what could have happened, what almost did happen… because I kept something from her for her own protection. I could have lost her. I almost did. I would have come home to find her dead on my floor.

"I swear to you," I say. "On your life and mine. I almost lost you tonight because of my own-"

"Arrogance is the word you're looking for. Thinking you can fix everything and do it all, assuming you're just the person to solve it all… it's arrogance that makes you think you can handle everything, Eric. And every time, it gets you or someone else into trouble."

I can't even argue with that because she's right. With Russell, it got Pam tortured. With Istvan, it got her nearly killed. And here again… I have to be smarter. I have to stop thinking about just my interests. I have a family to consider.

"You're right, my Sookie," I admit softly.

"What was that? I didn't hear you."

"You're right," I admit louder. "I saw you kill Istvan and his underlings in a second. You're not a human I have to protect. You're… I'll always try and protect you, Sookie, but you're also a fairy with strong powers. It's- hard, changing that mentality."

"Yes, well, it's also hard changing around my entire sleep schedule to accommodate you, but I did because I love you. So you should afford me the same courtesy."

I nod as I stroke her torso softly. The warm water smells of her blood and mine and it's most intoxicating. This is probably the best scented bath I've ever had.

"I will, my love, from now on. I swear on your life and mine."

"You better, Mister," she warns me gently and elbows me just the same. "What are we going to do? How- I assume you didn't want to call the doctor for a reason?"

"I'm worried I can't keep you both safe. I'm afraid to tell anyone for fear they'll want to harm you or the baby. And most importantly, I'm terrified that they'll be right in doing so."

What if it is something to be feared? What if it hurts her? What if it's not a normal baby? What if we fight to keep it safe and it doesn't recognize Sookie as its caregiver? What if it's a vampire forever? An infant who never grows? What if it never grows inside her and is just there? What if it's a fairy with powers and it blasts her apart? What if it has fangs and will bite her and drink her from the inside? What if-

"Okay, now you're panicking?"

"Yes, join me, won't you?" I ask and hug her tightly.

"Oh I'm still there," she says. "But- we- I don't know if it's… I was trying to blast it out, Eric, and it was like I couldn't. Maybe my magic doesn't allow self-harm, or maybe the baby is protected? Oh god, what if it's not a baby? What if it has fangs and drinks my blood from the inside?"

There's no way I can protect her from something inside her. There's-

"OH GOD, what if it has fairy claws and rips me open? Or blasts me open? Eric!"

"Shh… we have to think this through. We have to be calm."

"How the fuck are we supposed to be calm?"

"Sookie? I have no idea."

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AN: Shall I duck?