~Chapter 12
"Bro! Let it go!"
"Not a chance" Sam glared even harder at Finn as he sank his fork deeper into the last chocolate chip pancake.
"We'll both go for it on the count of three? Deal?" Finn offered lifting his fork slowly and Sam did the same eyeing him carefully.
"1...2..."
"3!" Stevie shouted snatching it away taking a huge chunk out of the pancake earning a collective chuckle from the table. "Suckers!"
"Little dude! That was so not cool" Finn laughs as Stevie is already putting on butter and syrup. "Those were amazing Jen, thanks!"
"Its no trouble-"
"It really was fabulous" Mrs. Hummel n smiles to me and I can only return a wince thinking of how I have to spend another night in this house. "So, what have you guys got planned today?"
"I'm not sure yet Carol, plans are still being made" Kurt answers finishing his breakfast.
"Well whatever it is, you boys make sure to include Jen" Mr. Hummel says and all three guys nod.
"What about showing her the town?" Mrs. Evans offers.
"It's Lima dad, she's pretty much seen it" Sam smiles. "But we'll make sure she has a good time."
I let out a quiet sigh that only Sam seems to catch. I know there is no point in arguing, telling them how they don't have to make me a tag along but I know they won't listen. One, because I know Sam wants to talk to me which is why I'm possibly avoiding his gaze. And two, if I don't go with them it'll make it seem like I'm rejecting their generous hospitality. After breakfast Sam and Finn are doing the dishes because they ate the most. Kurt and I are discussing some more musicals and plays as the rest of the table guests clear out.
"So Jen, what do you want to do? See a movie? Go bowling?"
"I'm not sure, but don't rearrange your schedules on account of me. I'll just go wherever your going."
"Are you sure?" Kurt offers. "I mean we could do some limited shopping or go for a mani/pedi?"
"Nah it's cool. What had you guys planned today?"
"Sam and I usually do a jam session at McKinley with a few members from Glee club-"
"Sounds like fun" I smile small before checking my phone for messages.
"I'll call Tina and Rachel so it won't be a complete sausage fest" Kurt laughs getting up from the table; Finn eventually goes out to follow.
Sam and I are alone and I try and pretend not to notice. Concentrating on my phone becomes a game I'm determined to win; with each passing second it's getting harder to avoid him.
"Jen?"
I look up reluctantly. I immediately put on a facade. "What's up?"
"It's later."
"Not late enough" I smirk. "Especially in a houseful of people" I say getting up from the table to walk over to the couch to grab my jacket.
"You're going to have to talk to me eventually" he says knowingly.
"I'm not really good at the whole talking thing" I say jerking my jacket up like Danny Zucco. "Let's just forget it okay?"
"You guys ready to go?" Finn says wrapping a scarf around his neck.
I nod and follow him out to his jeep. I'm sitting in the backseat waiting for both Kurt and Sam.
"So are you gonna sing with us today?" Finn asks trying to fill the awkward silence.
"Not unless I'm challenged" I laugh thinking of the other night. "I'll probably just sit back and listen."
"But its so much more fun when you take part...especially if we end up doing a Mash-off."
"Mash-off?"
"Yeah we'll do covers of multiple songs against each other, it's really fun!" He says turning to me to smile. "If you do it, you have to be on my team! I don't care what anyone says I got dibs on you!"
"We'll see...hey Finn?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for being so, cool about all of this."
"I didn't do anything-"
"Which is more helpful than doing something" I say cutting him off. "So...thanks."
"Sure?" He laughs as Kurt and Sam come out.
I'm thankful when Kurt decides to let Sam have the front seat and he joins me in the back. The drive to McKinley seems really short, maybe it's because I'm getting a small sense of direction. The four of us are getting out of the car making our way to the main entrance of the school when Sam tugs on the locked doors. Finn whips out a phone and begins texting a number before returning the phone to his pocket.
"Someone is coming around to open the door" he explains to us and the four of us nod.
I'm beginning to rub my hands together to keep the warmth within. "So...what's on your set list?"
"We usually play whatever comes to mind first; whichever one of us starts singing" Sam explains.
"Finn, I need your car keys, Blaine is stranded not to far from here."
Finn tosses him the keys and Kurt catches them easily before jogging back to the jeep.
"We should get all of our rocker out before he comes back with Rachel their show tunes" Finn says as a figure is coming down the hallway. It's Artie.
"Jen?" he asks in disbelief. "I thought you were leaving today."
"Yeah" I smile. "So did I" I drift off finding a new point to look at.
"She couldn't keep away from me" I hear a deep voice from behind. I turn around and see Noah totally smirking at me, like he's checking me out.
"Morning" I say trying not to smile.
"A very lucky one" he smiles and I feel my insides stir around a little. "What's up guys? Ready to Jam?"
"Cheyeah man!" Finn says excited. "Who else is coming?"
"I don't know" Puckerman shrugs walking past me.
I can smell his cologne and it's wonderful; I think I even close my eyes trying to make the scent last a little longer. When I open them, Sam is staring at me in disbelief. I shrug my shoulders and laugh walking ahead of him into the school. We're all walking towards the auditorium and when we get there I'm making my way to sit in an aisle seat, third row from the stage.
"You're not jamming with us?" Artie says rolling up beside me.
"You've already got Sam and Noah on guitar, Finn's got drums and you're taking lead vocals."
"So do a duet with me?"
"Why?" I smile. "You need someone in the audience."
"One song...please?" He begs. "After you step up there I promise you, you're not gonna wanna come down. Just try it"
He's rolling up the ramp to the stage and I'm taking off my jacket and hat smoothing out my hair walking up to the stage.
"What do we even sing?" I ask taking a microphone.
Sam answers playing the beginning chords to The Great Escape by Boys Like Girls and Finn is drumming away on the drum set. Puck is adding in some riffs and Artie begins, because I can't.
Paper bags and plastic hearts,
All are belonging to shopping carts...Goodbye...But we've got one more night!
Let's get drunk and drive around and make beats with an empty town...we can make it right
Sam and I are sitting on the back of his car our feet dangling off of the trunk, in an empty mall parking lot. The parking lot lights are illuminating the area and the vacant spots are abundant; it's one of the best places to watch fireworks in the nearby towns. We're just listening to music as they begin to go off.
"Come on!" I grin. "You'll totally feel better"
"I'll feel like an idiot" he grumbles before smiling.
"Who cares? It's only me, no one else is around" I say looking from side to side pretending to look for people. "You need to loosen up."
"I'm not singing" he laughs.
I begin singing the chorus completely off key, picking random pitches that don't fit anywhere in the song. I sound horrible and in pain especially in between our constant fits of laughter.
"Will you stop?!" Sam laughs. "You sound awful!"
"So...it made you smile" I grin. "At least shout it out! I'll do it with you."
After a second or two, Sam jumps in right in time with the music. "THROW IT AWAY!" he shouts.
"FORGET YESTERDAY!" I answer.
"WE'LL MAKE THE GREAT ESCAPE!" He shouts louder than me.
"WON'T HEAR A WORD THEY SAY!"
"THEY DON'T KNOW US ANYWAY!"
"WATCH IT BURN!"
"LET IT DIE!"
"CAUSE WE'RE FINALLY FREEEEEEEE"
"TONIGHT!"
We're both still smiling as the song continues without us. I'm looking at Sam and he's giving me a loving stare with his emerald-green eyes. The gaze is so intense I have to look away in order to breathe normally; I lay back on the car and look up at the sky which is continuing to burst with distant fireworks.
"Thanks" he says quiet. "You're right...I do feel better."
"I'm glad" I answer trying to keep a smile. It's one of the most difficult things ever, especially when I'm with Sam. He just makes me feel so...lit up! Like I swear I feel like I'm starting to look creepy from all my happiness but...I can't help it! Sam is just so positively charged I can't stop myself from being drawn to him.
"And you're right about my test too...I'll just do really well on the next one. I'll study extra hard so I won't freeze up" he nods determined.
"Exactly...it's just repetition. You gotta just go over it and over it and over it and-"
His lips are on my silencing my thought. Every time Sam kisses me, it feels just as good as the first. Warm, soft and passionate. He never rushes and I find that the sweetest thing about him. His touch is relaxed and slow; even though I know from his kiss that he's eager to go further the respect he has for me outweighs any desire he might have...
Throw it away! Forget yesterday! We'll make the great escape!
Won't hear a word they say! They don't know us anyway
Watch it burn! Let it die! Cause we are finally free...tonight!
My harmony carries in bittersweet on top of Artie's soulful tone. He lets me take the bridge.
All the wasted time, the hours that we left behind the answers that we'll never find, it don't mean a thing tonight!
Noah and Sam are doing an amazing duet on the guitar and Finn is practically loosing himself on the drums.
Throw it away! Forget yesterday! We'll make the great escape!
Won't hear a word they say...they don't know us anyway!
Artie and I are singing the ending together to each other, and his voice is what brings me back from the memory. It's not my best but I get through it none the less. The look Sam is giving me is easy to read; its saying "If you won't talk to me, I'll make you listen". My only question is what am I supposed to get out of it? Why remind me of it? It doesn't make sense?!
"I've got another song" I say confident.
"Alright, we'll follow if we know it" Finn says from the back. I look directly to Sam who's waiting for my answer.
Wait, I'm wrong...I should've done better than this.
Please I'll be strong, I'm finding it hard to resist...
So show me what I'm looking for...
Right on cue the guys are joining me and we're singing and playing Carolina Liar's Show Me What I'm Looking For.
Save me I'm lost... Oh Lord I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost... Save me from being confused... Show me what I'm looking for!
Show me what I'm looking for...Oh Lord...
Noah surprises me by taking the next verse, and I'm looking at him with this gigantic smile.
Don't let go...I've wanted this far too long,
Mistakes become regrets ive learned to love abuse,
Please show me what I'm looking for...
He sounds amazing; a total rocker's voice with that distinct dark edge that sounds like he's been through some changes. I'm practically swooning on stage as he steps around Sam to sing to me. He's singing the chorus and I'm adding to it with some vocal runs and a few higher pitches.
Save me I'm lost... Oh Lord I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost... Save me from being confused... Show me what I'm looking for,
Show me what I'm looking for...Oh Lord...
Noah took the guitar solo and when we get to the acapella section Artie adds in another harmony making it a beautiful chord. I'm grinning so much at the music we're making, we sound so good. And on the final strums everyone is feeling the song in a different way. I'm looking at Sam, almost like it's a challenge. Hopefully he got his answer; I thought my song choice was pretty clear.
"Dammit girl!" Artie says shaking his head. "Why aren't you at McKinley?"
"Seriously" Noah adds. "We could win nationals with her."
"Excuse me Noah Puckerman, we're going to win nationals regardless" Rachel walks in with Blaine, Kurt and Tina.
"True dat" Artie says waving a hand in the air. "But it'd be a little easier if Jen joined our team."
"Keep talking like that, and my head won't be able to get through the door" I laugh. "And with that...I am done" I say taking a small bow before hopping off the stage.
"Don't stop singing on my account" Rachel says sweetly walking up the steps to the stage. "Honestly Jennifer, there is no need for you to feel intimidated by me."
Blaine looks at me apologetically, making me smile as we both mouth, "She means it in the nicest way possible."
Both he and Tina sit next to me in the third row as Rachel is talking with the guys on possible song choices.
"Why don't we just do a crowd favorite?" Finn suggests from the back of the drum set. "Bring Me To Life?"
"Evanescence?" I say a little excited from my seat and Finn nods. "Rachel, your voice would be killer in the opening!"
"Well...I guess I could, if it's to please a fan" she answers sweeping her hair behind her. "Okay lets do it! Tina I think I'll need your upper register for this one. And Sam? The male vocals? Okay people! Let's move!"
"Great choice guys" Tina grumbles going to the stage. "Now she's got me singing in the rafters."
Blaine and I laugh as she get's on stage. Rachel doesn't even wait for the others before she starts singing. Her tone is clear and resonant echoing in the auditorium, giving an almost eerie feeling.
How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb
Without a soul, spirit sleeping somewhere cold...until you find it there and lead it back home
"Wake me up!" Sam shouts.
Wake me up inside
"I can't wake up!"
Wake me up inside
"Save Me" Sam sings.
Call my name and save me from the dark
"Wake me up!"
Bid my blood to run
"I can't wake up!"
Before I come undone
"Save Me" Sam sings louder holding the note a little longer.
Save me from the nothing I've become.
Sam's voice is nothing less than gorgeous. Even with Rachel singing most of the song with him only adding in a few words or a sentence, his part is what makes this song really shine. His "Save Me's" are just so honestly painful. Like I can feel the struggle behind the song's cry for help, I swear I'm almost on the verge of tears. Thinking about the kind of pain he must have gone through in order to sing like that? It's the same with the bridge "I've been living a lie", instead of shouting it like in the original song he's singing it slowly fitting it in with Rachel's forward tempo. This is the most vulnerable I've ever seen him, and while part of me likes it the other part just wants to find some way to help.
A/N: okay so i'm writing and this is only part one of the day but i needed to update this, so here you go :) thanks for reading...much love...pce!