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Chapter Ten: The In Auction

The hum of voices poured through the hole from outside. I assumed it was nearly time for the In Auction because among those voices were Gunther and Esmé. Gunther had arrived first before any of the buyers, checking over every item, looking through my hole to make sure I was still there, and smiling when everything seemed like it would go as planned. Esmé came a half an hour later when there was already a crowd of people outside, bubbling with excitement over all sorts of things that I paid no attention to because I could barely make out what they were saying.

I could only hear Esmé and Gunther's voices, if I really strained my ears. By their conversation, which was something very unpleasant to listen to, I could tell the In Auction was about to start.

I tried to stretch my stiff legs but frowned when my bare feet touched clay before my knees could even straighten a little. I had removed my shoes a few hours ago, which was quite a difficult task without arms. I resorted to using my teeth to untie the laces loose enough so I could slide them off. I just felt so crammed in this tiny space. I didn't usually get claustrophobic, but sometimes it scared me to think 'what if I never got out of here?' Besides, it was also really stuffy and warm which caused fresh sweat to dew on my forehead and palms at even the tiniest thought.

Finally, Gunther began to demand the crowd's attention and soon enough, they fell silent, much to my appreciation. Now I could at least try and make sense of what was going on. I wasn't even sure what Lot number I was. Maybe Gunther will made me first and hopefully I'd be let out of this thing once I got to wherever they were taking us. But I kind of hoped I wasn't the first one too, because I wasn't entirely sure what would happen to me when I was let out of this thing. This statue was the only thing keeping me from possible harm at the moment. Maybe I should make peace with this statue. But it was hard when I couldn't decide whether I'd rather be in this statue or back in the cage underneath 667 Dark Avenue. At least the cage had been a little bigger than this.

"Welcome all you in ladies and gentlemen," Esmé spoke out to the sea of people eagerly waiting for the items. "Welcome to this years, In Auction. I'll be your hostess, my name is Esmé Gigi Genevieve Squalor and I am the cities sixth most important financial advisor. I'll be gladly handling all the profits made from this In Auction. Now, here's Gunther, the auctioneer all the way from Switzerland." She paused and something must have happened because after a beat the audience applauded. "He's the innest auctioneer in the entire world and he has come here today to work at this smashing event." There was more applause and Gunther started speaking.

"Yes, please, I'll be auctioneer, please. Before we start, please, cameras are not allowed. Phones as well. Anyone, please, found with one will not be allowed, please, to be at In Auction, please. Now, let's begin, please. Lot #1, please, is crystal-made silverware. See, please, ladies and gentlemen. Crystal in. Silverware in, please. Who bid?"

"One hundred dollars," someone called loud enough for me to hear.

"One hundred fifty," another person said.

"Two hundred."

"Two hundred fifty."

"Three hundred."

There was a brief pause. "Is three hundred last bidding of people, please?" Gunther asked. "Okay. Here is silverware, please. Give money, please, to Mrs. Squalor."

The rest of the In Auction continued as such and it was so boring I droned out most of what they were saying. I tuned in again at Lot #46, knowing the Quagmires would be up soon. When would it be my turn? Was I the lot before or after them? Not that I wanted this to speed up, but it was a little unsettling not knowing when I was up.

Lot #46 turned out to be a glass vase with blue flowers in it. I remembered them, because they had a funny name...they were called Cape Plumbago's. A woman bought the item for two hundred and fifty-three bucks.

Lot #48 came in the blink of an eye. The first bidder, of course, I recognized as both the doorman and the hook-handed man. But to my surprise, after hearing someone cough wretchedly, I heard the voice of Mr. Poe, bidding on the item. Hope filled me. Could this mean the Baudelaires had heard me and contacted Mr. Poe? Did Klaus read through the catalog and find the right one? I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed that Mr. Poe would win the bidding contest.

But then, another thought occurred to me. If they were bidding on Lot #48 to help free the Quagmires, well, did they know I was in a different item? Would they spend all their money on that fish statue and forget to rescue me? I shook it off. Even if they did, it wouldn't be that bad. At least I would know the Quagmires and the Baudelaires would be safe from Gunther's clutches.

My despair deepened when I realized the hook-handed man won the bidding war. Mr. Poe didn't put up nearly a good enough fight. I wonder if he even knew the Quagmires were inside. It crushed all my hopes that at least someone would be rescued. I knew now I was wrong and it was worse because I knew it was my entire fault. I let Gunther find out about the Baudelaires and now there was no hope. I let a few tears slide down my face and wanted to kick myself for crying over something I had done.

"Hey, boss!" I heard someone shout. The hook-handed man, I think. I perked my ears, curiously. "The orphans are here!"

What did he mean? Were the Baudelaires here? Did I not fail after all?

I heard an intake of breath and then, Gunther's voice. "Orphans in," he said, "Okay for orphans to be here, please." He paused and something must have happened during the time he was silent. "We'll skip lot #49 and move on to lot #50. We'll stop at item #51."

Maybe that was my lot. He was probably just trying to get to me as quickly as possible so we could leave. And go to that island where no one will find us…I shuddered at the thought. It reminded me of when we were staying at Uncle Monty's and Stephano tried to take us to Peru "…where crimes are more difficult to trace."

I shuddered again at the memory.

"V.F.D. please," Gunther said. "Who bid?"

I gasped. What could V.F.D. possibly be?

"I bid twenty," Jerome's voice called out.

"Fifty," someone else with a deeper voice said.

"Fifty-five," Jerome called. Why was Jerome bidding on V.F.D.?

"One hundred," said the other man.

"I bid one hundred eight," Jerome said.

"Two hundred."

"Two hundred and four," Jerome said.

"Three hundred."

There was a pause and then Gunther spoke. "Final bid is three hundred, please," Gunther said, "Please, sir, if—"

"Thousand!" a very familiar voice called and I knew right away it was Sunny. It brought relief mixed with confusion. Why was Sunny bidding on Lot #50? What was so important? Did they really think V.F.D. was more important than us? Or…

"Thousand!" Sunny shrieked again.

There was some murmuring and Sunny had to say it a third time before Gunther gave in.

"The highest bid is now one thousand," he said, "Please."

"Good grief!" I heard the other bidder cry, but I couldn't hear the rest of what he was saying since the crowd began to murmur again.

"It is to us," I heard Violet say and I knew they had advanced closer to the stage. I wanted so badly to yell or make some kind of noise so they would know I was in here. Maybe they were mad at the Quagmires and I for letting Gunther know their plan. But why on earth would they buy this item?

"Give your thousand, please, to Mrs. Squalor," Gunther said, probably to the Baudelaires. "Then we move to Lot #51, please."
"The only thing that is over," Klaus said, and my heart warmed at his voice. "is your horrible plan." As much as I liked hearing his voice, it didn't explain anything. How could V.F.D. ruin his plans? But maybe I should trust Klaus. He was so smart, he would figure it out. Then, it occurred to me, what if they were planning what the Quagmires and I have been? Did V.F.D. contain evidence to send Count Olaf to jail once and for all?

"Silko!" Sunny shrieked in agreement. I heard a sound like cardboard being ripped apart and figured they were opening the item…whatever it was.

"Wait a minute, kids!" Esmé growled, "You can't open the box until you give me the money. That's illegal!"

"What is illegal," Klaus said, "is auctioning off children. And soon this whole room will see that you have broken the law!"

"What's this?" Mr. Poe asked, voicing one of the many questions that were pouring into my head right now.

"The Quagmire triplets and Jane Rumary are in this box," Violet explained, "Gunther and Esmé are trying to smuggle them out of the country."

That made my eyes widen. I'd been wrong for both reasons. The Baudelaires weren't angry with us and there certainly wasn't any evidence in that box. They were thought we were in that lot! They had the wrong lot! Oh no, oh no! This is all wrong and now they'll be in even more trouble! What if the authorities come and send them to prison for opening the item illegally? No, that couldn't happen. I had to do something or my friends' lives would be in jeopardy because I knew, if the authorities got them, Count Olaf wouldn't be too far behind.

I had to do something to prove that the Baudelaires were telling the truth so they wouldn't get into too much trouble. But what? There wasn't much I could do with my wrists bound and my mouth taped shut. And I knew I only had so much time.

The Baudelaires must have realized what I already knew because Violet suddenly cried, "These are doilies. This box is full of doilies!"

"Of course," the other bidder said. It was difficult to hear what he was saying. He was talking in such a low voice. "I was…my brother for a birthday present. They're Very Fancy Doilies. What else could V.F.D. stand for?"

I tried desperately to slide the ropes from my wrists but they were too tight. I hung my head in defeat. At that moment, I felt the statue being lifted for what felt like the umpteenth time. I fell to the side again and this time the metal cut deeper into my arm, drawing blood. I gasped in pain. It was so sharp. Sharp enough to cut things…like a rope.

"Yes," Gunther said, in a wicked voice, "What else could it stand for, please?"

My gasp in pain turned into one of realization. I could use the sharp edge of the metal to cut the rope.

"I don't know," I heard Violet reply, "but neither Jane or the Quagmires found out a secret about fancy napkins. Where have you put them, Olaf?"

"What is Olaf, please?" Gunther asked.

Quickly, I maneuvered my bound hands over the edge of the metal. I got it to grip the rope and tried to cut it as if I were slicing a tomato.

"Now, Violet," Jerome said, "We made an agreement not to argue about Gunther anymore. Please excuse these children, Gunther. I think they must be ill."

But it didn't work so I tried cutting it like a saw. I moved my wrists back and forth so the rope was slowly tore.

"We're not ill," Klaus cried, sounding frustrated. We've been tricked! This box of doilies was a red herring!"

"But the red herring was Lot #48," I heard someone in the crowd say.

And it was working. Not quickly, but it would have to do. The rope was thinning and soon I could slip my hands out. I moved my wrists back and forth, back and forth.

"Speaking of lots," Esmé said, and my statue was lowered to the ground, "here is Lot #51. Now, why don't you take these children home Jerome? We'll deal with them after the In Auction is over."

I felt the rope slip from my wrists, but I wasn't prepared. My wrists were still going and the sharp metal nicked my left wrist. A drop of blood appeared and my wrist was sore, but after a moment, it was old news to me. I reached up and closing my eyes, I tore the tape off my mouth, biting my tongue to stop myself from crying out. That wasn't a good way to get their attention.

"We're not going anywhere!" Violet cried, "Until we find out where Jane and the Quagmires are!"

Now that I was free, I knew I needed to get the attention of the crowd. I knew what would happen if I didn't. Either the Baudelaires would be in trouble with the authorities or Gunther and Esmé, or perhaps both.

"Children," Mr. Poe said, "I'm very shocked about your behavior. You look like you haven't washed in a week. You're spending your money on ridiculous items." And I knew very well that I might not be able to save myself. "You run around accusing everybody of being Count Olaf in disguise. And now you've made a big mess of doilies on the floor." That would mean Gunther would probably tell the Baudelaires what I did and I would lose them for forever. So I decided I needed to say goodbye again in the best way that I could. "Someone is likely to trip and fall on those slippery napkins. I would have thought that the Squalors were raising you better than this."

So I stood up, shakily, and began to sing:

"Think of me,

Think of me fondly,

When we've said goodbye…

Remember me,

Every so often,

Promise me you'll try…

On that day,

That not so distant day,

When you are far away and free,

If you ever find a moment,

Spare a thought for me…"

I made a small pause to listen for a reaction, but I heard nothing but, Esmé's voice. "…Mr. Poe, I want these terrible children placed out of my care. It's not worth it to have orphans, even if they're in."

I realized, that they couldn't hear me from inside here and that troubled me. I would have to try and sing it louder, but would it still be loud enough. Was this statue sound proof so that even the biggest sound would be muffled to the outside?

My mind wandered to the hole at the top of the mermaid. Maybe if I could get to the hole, I could sing through it. Maybe then, they would hear me.

"Esmé!" Jerome cried. "They lost their parents! Where else can they go?"

But how could I get up there? I was far too short. It frustrated me and I felt my wrist start to become sore again. I glanced at those metal pieces, frowning. But then, I realized that maybe these strange metal pieces could be of even more help.

"Don't argue with me!" Esmé spat, "I'll tell you where they can go! They can go—"

"With me, please," Gunther said. I shuddered and hurriedly, climbed on to the first metal piece.

"And although it's true,

Though it was always true,

That this was never meant to be.

If you happen to remember,

Stop and think of me."

I could hear Gunther continuing talking, but there was an edge to his voice and I think he could kind of hear me. So I climbed onto the highest metal piece. The tip of my nose just reached the mouthpiece and I stood on my tiptoes until my mouth reached it. "I am loving of the children. I would be happy, please, to raise three children of my own. Oh, and of course, please, little Jane will join us, please. Now—"

"Think of August,

When the trees were green,

Don't think about,

The way things might have been…"

I knew the crowd could hear me because they were gasping and falling into silence to listen.

"Think of me,

Think of me waking,

Silent and resigned…

Imagine me,

Trying too hard to,

Put you from my mind…

Think of me,

Please say you'll think of me,

Whatever else you choose to do.

There will never be a day when,

I won't think of you…"

I stopped singing and waited for the reaction. I hadn't anticipated what would happen afterwards. I only knew it would show that the Baudelaires were partially correct. But all I heard was silence.

BTW, the song was 'Think of Me' from the Phantom of the Opera :) it's such a pretty song!

Anyways...REVIEW as always!

And thanks to everyone who has been reviewing so far! The next chapter will probably be the last for the TEE part :)

I'll try to update soon!