So, so, SO sorry I haven't updated in a while, super busy (I wasn't ignoring this on purpose, of course) and then I had writer's block for a while…

The reference to Luxa and Gregor's 'argument' (where Gregor gets mad at Luxa) that I made in the last chapter is from Marks of Secret, after they find Ripred and while they're flying… Can't quite remember the exact spot.

Well, enjoy!

Denial and Advice

Katie didn't sit at Gregor's table the next day. Gregor didn't mind, oh no, of course not, why would he mind when he knew that what he said would result in her leaving him alone? He wanted to be left alone. He had done nothing wrong. There was no need for all the stares he was getting, all the dagger-eyes and glares. And it was fine that Sam had left too. Sure, Gregor wasn't mad at Sam, but he didn't need Sam anyway. He could do fine without friends.

He had often made mistakes in his life, but Gregor always apologized and meant it, using the advice his parents always gave. But Gregor had left apologizing behind, in the Underland, when he began to be much more sensitive to the outcasts and the ones that are different. Being chest-deep in debts to cockroaches would do that to someone.

There were often times where Gregor could have possibly apologized, but nothing ever really required that much effort and nothing was all that bad, when one has had to apologize to a rat in front of other rats, a bat, and a pacifist with a rocky background–especially when that thing was about saying bad things about the rat's pups, who were dying. Then again, there wasn't that much worse you could do to just one person than offend not only her dying and dead pups, but her entire species as well.

So as Gregor ate his lunch and wondered how Lapblood was doing, he realized that it was the first time in perhaps a week or so that he had thought of the Underland. His head had recently been so much in the Overland, he didn't have time to think of the Underland. But with no friends and no one to talk to, Gregor had a bit too much time. Perhaps friends had been good for him like many people had said.

But he wasn't going to apologize. He didn't need friends like them, who would force him to do things. Good friends looked out for each other. Good friends watch each other's backs. Good friends were like Ares, whom Gregor trusted above all others and who knew him like the back of his hand–erm, wing–or like Luxa, who helped him out when he needed it. Heck, even Ripred was a good friend, who although was aggressive and pushy, could also be gentle and helpful, and would lie for him, although it was often to him rather than for him. Gregor wondered how he had come to put Ripred under the category of 'friends,' and figured it must have been the 'saving his life because of mutual need' thing. Okay, so Katie and Sam didn't need him. Maybe that was why they didn't stick together. Then Gregor remembered that Gregor had pushed them away and he wanted it that way, because why would he have told them to back off unless he meant it?

Gregor reviewed his list of friends. Mareth and Howard were added, along with Twitchtip and Hazard, Temp and even Tick, in the short amount of time they had known each other. They had all sacrificed, saved his or Boot's life. He was in debt to them. Life and death aside, though, Gregor figured the humans were not, in reality, all too different than Katie and Sam.

They were patient and understanding like Mareth, as well as thoughtful (more of Sam than Katie). Like Luxa, they were confident, strong, and independent people who knew how to push his buttons. They each had their own trade, their own duties and talents, and yet can relate with each other.

Gregor shook himself out of it. He was comparing Underlanders with Overlanders! That was one of his rules; The Underland and Overland are different places with different people that should never be compared or put of in the same sentence. He had just broken that. Not only did he break that rule, but he had also thought of practically everyone he had cared about in the Underland, minus Vikus, because Vikus was more of a mentor than a friend.

Gregor has got to stop. He told himself not to think of that place all lunch, and failed within the first five minutes. There wasn't much else to think about, considering his day had been pretty uneventful and he had already shown his standing on the 'no friends' thing. (Just for clarification, it was that Gregor had done what he had meant to do and is not going to apologize.)

Gregor gave up and let his mind wander as he ate a lonely lunch. It surprised Gregor how much he missed the talking and the laughter that had found a place at the table recently. It hadn't been that long, compared to the amount of time without it, but Gregor still ached to have a reason to smile, even if it was a small one.

But that didn't mean he wanted his friends back. He wanted to smile, but that did not mean he wanted the reason to come from Katie and Sam. And he definitely didn't miss them.

Gregor had long grown out of asking his parents for advice, but somehow, he found himself sitting on his bed across from his dad, talking about his day. It wasn't a problem, although Gregor was talking to his dad about it, but it was something Gregor wanted his dad to know. He didn't need advice, just someone to talk to.

Evidently, his dad had misinterpreted Gregor and considered it a problem that he needed to give advice on–which, as said before, it wasn't.

"Are you sure it was a good idea to push them away, Gregor?" His dad said. Apparently, his dad was not properly listening to Gregor.

"Dad… I'm sure. I mean, yeah, friends are probably good for me, but maybe not those friends. I don't want to go on the trip and stuff, and they were putting too much pressure on me."

"Well, you don't have to. They can still be your friends, even if you don't go."

"She kept bothering me, trying to persuade me to go! None of my friends have ever done that!"

"Your mother would do that with me, back when we were dating."

"Not the point."

"No, precisely the point. The point is that you need friends–you said that yourself. You want to get closer to your friends instead of making more and more friends, which is perfectly fine. But you won't get closer with them if you keep pushing them away, and not hang out with them outside of school."

"Well, we're as close as we can get, without people trying to kill us."

"No, you can be closer. Trust me, even though you won't–at least, hopefully not–go through life and death situations, there are still many other places to go and things to do that will help you two bond–" His dad cut off, realizing what he had just said. Gregor looked at him sharply. "Help you two–three–become better friends and know each other better." His dad corrected cautiously.

"You don't become bonds with people of the same species. And I will never find someone as good as Ares."

"We do, Gregor. We do become bonds with other people. Those bonds are called siblings, loved ones, your wife. It's just that our lives are more peaceful than violent, and so when we promise that our lives be one, we mean through housing, through taking care of each other, money, sharing blessings."

"And it's less valuable here. People divorce all the time."

"Yes, but that's not the point. The point is, no matter where you are or who it is, you can always get as close as you did with the Underlanders. Maybe not these friends in particular, but you'll never know if they will become people as special as a bond. And you'll never know how to find someone if you never try to make friends."

"Doesn't even matter. They hate me."

"An apology can go a long way, Gregor."

"Not now. Not this."

"The first step is admitting you're wrong–to yourself, that is."

There was a pause as Gregor went over the conversation in surprise. Man, dad's a really good parent. He mused. There's a good reason why he's a teacher, too.

"Right." Gregor finally said. "I guess I was wrong to say all of that."

"Okay, next is saying that you're sorry. You can do a public one, but that will pressure both you and her, and she will either think you're extremely sincere or trying to get everyone to like you–although, if you knows you, she won't think that. Or you can tell her privately, which will allow you to tell more secrets, but you won't be able to regulate the rumors as well, and again, the sincerity will be questioned. If you made the mistake in public, you should apologize in public because although you wronged her, everyone else saw it too, and they should know that you're sorry it happened."

"I know dad, you told me this years ago. It was this advice that helped me risk my neck to apologize to Lapblood, in front of three full-grown rats and a pacifist. Although, Lapblood and I became pretty close, so I guess that's good."

"See? If you can apologize to a rat, you can apologize to Katie."

"Yeah. I guess so. Thanks, dad."

"Thank me when it's finished."

Who's watched Catching Fire? It's super good! I totally flipped and was sobbing and everything. I'm still kinda waiting for Suzanne Collins to sell the movie rights of Gregor, but I'm kinda worried too… They could easily ruin the entire thing…

So, I've finally decided! (Well, you guys decided for me…) He is going to go on the road trip/a trip with his friends (and Lizzie), somehow end up in the Underland, and then not move on. The last part I'm still figuring out. So as soon as I make them friends again, that's where this story's going. Please remind me if I get off track.

And, if I have made any mistakes or if I could've done something better, please tell me as well. Can't get better if I don't know what I've done wrong!