Chapter 10: Marco Polo
Alec's POV
I've never had this happen to me before. In all my years on this earth, I've never been in this type of situation, The type of situation where I was the middle-man, where everything I did was wrong and thoughtless. On one hand, I have my sister whose on the verge of killing the Cullen's only daughter, and on the other, I had me, wanting to go back there to continue kissing the object of my sister's rage. I was in such a complicated predicament that I had no idea on how I was to handle it, and this was all because of a kiss that I didn't plan on happening. After all, as far as I was concerned, Renesmee deserved nothing but cruelty from me. Going behind my back and snoop into my business like that, it was degrading on her behalf, and because of her childlike behavior, I had the anger of that of a troll if there was such a thing, the need to kill was running through my veins, building inside my body, causing me to shake. It was controlling me, clouding my mind, making me feel so unfamiliar in my own skin. I wanted to slaughter something, to rip something into sleds with my bare hands as if that would help me at all, I wanted to block the memories from coming back to me. Blurry, unnecessary memories that didn't matter. The faces. Everything, was flooding inside my mind, making me more and more bewildered. I wanted to yell. I wanted to curse whoever it was who ratted me out, I wanted to have them dead, and burned and I wanted to do it myself. Forget regrets and the pain it would cause others. I just didn't care, not at the time. Hours after I had broke every piece of furniture I could get my hands on, I finally found myself at peace with the silence. I welcomed it. Slowly but surely I was starting feel as though my mind was coming to terms with what happened, that the animal inside me was beginning to fade, but that all ended, when the peace suddenly got disturbed, and I first heard the music, that sweet, heavenly music.
I had thought at the time, that it was one of the usual hacks who thought they had the talent to play. That I was going to go into that lobby, and let out all the frustration I had inside me on the one who was disturbing my thoughts. Of course I was furious, I wanted silence. It was like my vision was blindfolded from reality once again and all I had to do to breathe was to end someone's life. It invading my body again, piece by piece I found the urge coming back to me and I was on the path of destruction, I had thought that whoever it was at the piano would pay for this, that I wasn't even going to numb them before their death, even if it was just a innocent bystander, they would die for nothing, yet that all went down the drain when I saw who it was that I was planning on murdering.
All because It was her.
I never knew she played the instrument, and I have never been to fond of amateurs attempts of trying to make music, but once I laid my eyes on her, it all vanished, my anger for her, my rage itself had become none-existent, and why? Because I have never witnessed anything quite like her playing in all my days.
I was still angry at her. I knew that, but she was just so beautiful in the moment, that I was beginning to forget entirely why I was so mad at her to begin with. I was so baffled by my change in mood that all I could do was watch as she allowing her fingers to flow across the keys, her eyes closed, her nose breathing in the cool air. It was like she was connected to the music she was playing, that she and the piano were on a whole different level then a normal person would be. It was apart of her, I understood that much, it was like the piano was allowing her emotions to sing out of her body in the form of the music. As I watched in awe, I witnessed the tears streaming down her cheeks, the tears I hated so much, but I knew it I shouldn't say anything, not when she played, because it seemed like it was her only way to find peace, and I knew she needed that, even if it felt like It was killing me watching those damn tears. The ones that caused. I didn't know how long I'd been watching, time seemed like it was going by so fast in my eyes, but I found myself leaning against the bookcase that hid the piano, watching like I was under her spell of some sort.
I didn't want anything to disturb her from her safe haven, so I took a look around the room and the door way to see if anyone else was coming in, and that's when my eyes caught a glance of Renesmee's bag on the floor, the same black one she had with her when she arrived, and some how I knew. She had plan on leaving Italy, that she was headed home, but I couldn't't allow myself to be the reason for the departure. That maybe I had been a little irrational with her about the whole ordeal. I had hollered, joked and nearly killed her, when deep down I knew It wasn't all her fault. It wasn't her fault that I had kept that from her, and it wasn't her fault that I had idiotic morons as parents and that Jane and I had to suffer the deaths that we did.
So, with that thought I apologized for snapping at her the way I did, Still even after apologies, that didn't give me the right to kiss her like I did.
Oh that kiss.
I could still feel her soft, wet lips pulling against mine as I search for Jane, my mind replaying it over and over, the memory of her body pressed up against my chest as her fingers gripped into my hair. My body responding in the way I knew it would. I wanted to stay there forever and by the way her body responded to my kiss, I knew Nez wouldn't have rejected the offer either, which excited me in more ways then one and that itself was dangerous. I shouldn't even be thinking about Nez now. I had to focus and find my sister, not because of what she'll say to Aro about the kiss but because I was generally worried about what my sister will do to others, knowing what she saw. She wasn't the only one who saw the kiss, it was true but besides Jane, but I knew Felix wouldn't say anything to anyone.
He was still clueless as to what Aro wants of me. He thinks it has to do with us, becoming Mates, however he has no clue as to why.
Felix was in the dark, which I envied.
As I thought of ways to approached this matter I had on my hands, I turned in front of my sister's room, waiting.
I was about to give up on finding her all together, when I saw a blur of wind running towards me, her hands knocking my body against the stone walls, the hissing echoing into the hall.
"Jane!" I yelled as the blur tried to run into me once again, this time the force caused me to nearly fall to the ground. Pissing me off.
That was it!
I had had it. she was taking her anger out on me, and for what? Because I displeased her in some way? I wasn't some weakling she could push around. I was her brother, and I knew she wasn't going to bring this to epic potations, If she loved me, as Nez had said that is, and I just wasn't going to just stand here and let her treat me as if I was another pathetic being who wasn't worthy enough to be in her presence, with that in mind, as the blur came at me a third time, I ran to other side of the hallway in vamp speed, and as I expected, Jane stopped. Looking for me. As she did, I wasted time no time or effort. Quickly pushing forward, I grabbed hold of her small frame, slamming her against the wall, face first. Whispering soothing words. the impact caused it to crack where she stood, even some of bits of the stone was crumbling off, and the paintings on the wall began falling to the ground, but the didn't matter, because all I was doing was making things worst, and my sister even madder because then Jane began to fight me, but I didn't want to fight her. I have no intention of doing so, but I thought maybe if I held her still long enough to listen to reason, maybe I can buy myself time to make her realize she was over reacting. My sister wasn't unreasonable after all.
"If you calm down I'll explain--" I soothed, in a mother like voice.
Jane didn't give me the chance to finish.
pushing herself off the wall, She muttered words I never thought she'd say to me, making me grab hold of her shoulders blade, trying to get a firmer hold on her. Turning Jane to face, me I began to feel ultimately guilty for making her so angry, but I wont regret anything I've done. Because in the long run, I have done nothing to feel guilty about, still my sister has been my long companion for so many centuries, that I couldn't help but feel for her.
As I held her still, I heard chattering coming from the end of the hallway, two of my masters' lower guardsmen looked at each of my and Jane's faces, giving us a confused glance as if they could some how help with the problem. I chuckled.
"Would you give us a moment, my sister and I need to have one of those sibling chats." I called out, the guards practically started running for their lives as Jane cursed under her breath.
Pathetic.
After moments of holding her body, Jane became very still, and because of my respect for her, and my love, I released her. The look in her eyes was fluming with rage still as she looked up at me. I guess I took our bond for granted, because when I looked into her dark red eyes, I felt like one of her victims of torture. Right before she attacks.
"You lied to me--"
"I did no such thing, I told you, she means nothing Jane."
"Well that didn't look like nothing Alec!" she yelled, pointing in the direction of the lobby, her chest was moving up and down as she tried to breathe, her arms crossed. I looked down at the floor, trying to figure out my plan of action, on how I as to deal with a outraged sister when this sort of thing never happened before. When I looked up at my twin's face I saw pain, the pain I caused, and I realized then that I couldn't tell her anything about how I felt with Nez, that the bond itself could only go so deep.
"Come now sister, you know me better then that." I reassured her, I started to grab hold of her hands in mine, only to comfort her, though it didn't look like it was working at all, because Jane fletched away from my grasp.
"The brother I knew would never waste his time on a pesky little half-breed--"
"Don't…don't be like that okay, I'm doing what Aro asks, that is it!"
"Ha! That's a joke. Tell me Alec, do you see the plan working? Or do you have to sleep with her to see that you've fallen for her?!."
"Damn it Jane! Would you stop? No wonder no one cares for you. Your acting ridiculous!"
My voice was no longer my own anymore, I felt as though I had no control over what I said or did at this point, as I looked at my sister to deny anything that she would put against me, I saw shock and confusion.
Oh how I wished, now more then ever that I had more self control over my mouth, but it was to late. The words were out and in the open and there was nothing I could do, I was feeling as though I had no choice, my best bet of getting out of the conversation before she'd really think I had fallen for Renesmee, and leave her to sulk. If I stayed any longer, I doubt I'll find the reason to deny, because in all honesty, I did. I liked her, not just as someone to sleep with but as a person in general. Even when she butted into my life, I knew that it didn't matter, because she awakened complicated emotions that I promised myself I will never feel.
As I started to walk away from Jane before anymore damage was done, my sister spoke in a serious voice, a voice I hadn't heard in over a thousand years.
"What do you think he'll say brother?" she asked, as I turned to face her, puzzled as to what she was talking about. She just simply smiled, walking around me in circles. I could see the wheels practically turning in that wicked mind of hers. I have after all known her all my life, I would be one of the few to actually understood how it worked. Still didn't make it less dangerous.
"Who?"
"Edward. What do you think he'll say when Renesmee goes home, and tells daddy dearest that she's spent her time kissing one of Aro's favorites. I mean I don't suppose he'd open his arms to you, not after everything you've done in your past, after everything your doing still. You're a Volturi, Aro's venom runs through your blood Alec, when I told you, you'd never leave our family, do you think I didn't have reason for it? I'm just saying this of course, to protect you. To kill it before you end up hurt, before you both--"
"Please, Nez is the least of your worries."
"True, Nez isn't. it's only you, but if you start to have feelings--"
I stopped her from carrying on the topic of feelings, because it was one of those topics that I promised myself years ago that I would never bring up with Jane. We weren't the type of siblings who'd stay up all night, talking about our days and crushes. Jane knew that. We were the type that enjoyed the power. The power and respect people gave us. I can remember waking up after our transformation. Knowing and feeling that our human abilities has only doubted, that we were strong and more powerful and when I realized that Jane's power was the same, It thrilled me that they both never had to worry about human emotions again, that it was all a part of our past.
I intend to make sure it stays that way.
As for what she said about Edward welcoming me into the family, I knew It to be true. Which was the reason why I had to keep my head on straight. I wasn't going to develop anymore then I already have. I liked her. I did not however love her, and though part of me wishes for it to be different, that that part of me wishes to be excepted, Jane was right.
I never will be. I just had to remind myself of that, and thank god Nez just lusted me.
"I have no feelings for her, I was just doing what Aro asked of me. What you think you saw was apart of your own agenda. Make her fall in love with me, and dump her. So, if you'd excuse me, I was busy doing a job, before you and Felix came--"
"Do you think I'm stupid?!"
Oh she knows me too well.
After moments of trying to figure out the best lie, I realized that Jane and I are one and the same. It was no use. She'd know within the second so I might as well spill my heart out. Only not giving her the glory details of everything. Lord knows I couldn't be bothered by the embarrassment of my weakness.
As I chucked in a joking matter, I started walking towards my sister. Looking at her dead in the eyes. Trying to convince her with all my will. Shaking my head with doubt.
"Fine, If you don't believe me, then believe this, I am aware that nothing can happen between Renesmee and myself, you've made it all the more clear. she is not staying here much longer Jane, I am only trying to buy time for Aro's idea to wash over. As his plans usually do, so there is no reason for me to get attached. Though I wont lie Jane, I like kissing her, that is where it ends though. I'm a man stuck in a teenage body. Attraction is unavoidable. It will not lead to what you fear, I swear on my life and that of this coven. Now will you please, get. Off. My. Back."
With that said, I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, and then I was gone. To get far away from my so called loving sister, and to think in peace.
I was doomed. I knew that, but couldn't wrap my head around it. I was going to screw up everything Aro had done for me, all because of how a girl whose not even close to my age, makes me feel. Not that age matters. After a couple hundred years, age just becomes a number, birthdays have no meaning to the Volturi, but that doesn't change the fact that I've been in some serious denial about Nez, and that I have seriously underestimated her hold on me.
I Liked her. I LIKED HER?!
Maybe it's just a phase I was going though. Yet I kept thinking as I ran down the halls, that I've had other women, not as a long term thing, but enough to satisfy myself. Older looking women, yet I when kissed them, it didn't feel like it did with Renesmee.
turning away from the direction to Nez's room, my mind was going through what some would call a moral dilemma, that's when I noticed one of the human maids that wanted to be a vampire was looking at me shyly, greeting me with familiar eyes.
I remembered her, It was the girl who donated blood to me in order to stay at peace with Aro's special guest, she was beautiful lady for a human. Dark tan, long black silky hair, her face round and clear.
"Mia…" I said nodding to her.
walking past, I didn't even notice the girl was quickly racing to me, blocking my way, happily. Her brown eyes lit up Christmas tree, as she clapped in the air with rejoice. I have never seem anyone so happy, and all this because I said her name? as I looked at her with a puzzle expression, Mia said something in her naïve tongue and began to show me her tanned neck, her eyes bracing herself from what I can only think of was pain, it was like she was expecting it. Funny, I didn't know what she could be bracing for, it was almost as if--
Oh god. I was a idiot.
She wants to be bitten. By me of all people.
She looked so hopeful, like she'd do anything for me, if only I'd make her Immortal. Sad thing is, I didn't do the biting around here, especially not so close to our next feeding. I'd probably end up killing her, and after the left over anger I had, I had no doubt about it. She'd be dead.
Throwing my hands in the air to stop her from babbling on and on, encouraging me to get the deed done, I gave Mia a apologetic look and shook my head at her, which made her frown.
"No, Mia. You haven't earn it yet, but I promise your well on the top of the list, next in line actually."
It was all a lie. It was something, we Volturi did to those who wanted to be changed. Bella Swan was the only exception, and I believe it was because of two reasons. One, Aro wanted to see if Bella's power could possibly be of use to us in the future, and two, dear Carlisle was a good friend of ours. Still, I felt bad about the lie, and when I thought about how hopeful Mia looked, I decided that I would give her another task, to get her mind off the disappointment.
"Mia, do you remember Renesmee? Mr. Aro's guest?"
The girl tilted her head at me, and begun to shake her head, when suddenly it dawned on her that she remembered who I was talking about.
"Ah! Your…uhh..Mate? Si?"
My eyes grew wide at the word used. Was my attachment so apparent that even the help could see it? Of course I had Mia help me win Nez over that one time but really? did this mere human honestly think that my and Renesmee's relationship was that serious? I began to shake my head, quickly. Very, very quickly.
"No, the guest. The girl?"
"Si, Si..Mr. Alec's Mate."
I slapped my palm to my forehead. It was no use. No matter what I said to her, she was going to believe what she wanted, and I couldn't change her mind. I felt so defeated. I couldn't even imagine Nez as my mate. It was such a commitment, to promise you'd love and stay with that one person for all of your immortal life, it was like getting married, without the till death do us part nonsense. Being mates was a serious matter, so serious that not even Chelsea could change the loyalties of such a thing. To think that the humans around this place thought that I, Alec made that commitment to Renesmee Cullen, when just today, I realized that what I felt for Nez was beyond lust, it made me want to laugh.
"Believe what you will Mia, just understand that I have a request for you, another favor for…my mate." I spoke in the nicest tone I could come up with. Mia nodded and got out a hand-held notebook from her pocket and a pen to write with, the human leaned in intently so she wouldn't missed a word. I sighed and roughed up my hair.
"Renesmee needs more clothes. Lots of them. I want you to go shopping, and bring them back. She's about this high, and this much around, she likes a lot of bright colors, only don't bring anything with to many prints, it's to distracting from her eyes, and she…she has beautiful eyes. Understood?"
Mia was not helping with my feelings what so ever. The more I thought about Renesmee's new clothes, the more I wondered when I would see her in them and then my mind went completely against me, and started putting imagines of her in the bra from before in my head, without a shirt all together.
I was a slave to the male gender, and it made me even sick. How was a person to focus when someone like Nez was popping in one's mind like this. Shirtless at that. I wasn't going to last, I was going to drive myself crazy, especially now that I kissed her. now that I've tasted her.
I looked into Mia's eyes, and she looked like the was waiting for me to continue about what I wanted her to do, a smirk to her face.
"Si, si…beautiful eyes…" I didn't like the way her voice said that, it was like she was seeing right through me, and I didn't like it. Renesmee was not my mate, I just happened to love kissing her, and occasional thoughts of doing more. Nothing too serious, everyone thinks about that, I am a man. A weak man maybe, but a man non the less! And I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one who wanted to bed Edward's daughter.
So wrong on so many levels.
"Can you just go do what I asked?!"
Mia continued to smirk as she slowly walked away, her voice low and sneaky as she spoke to herself.
"Il ragazzo non ha indizio…"
I wasn't stupid. As part of the Volturi, I knew Italian very well, it was my second language, and if I was not mistaken, She said, 'The boy has no clue.' Only I did. I had control over this, I'd go to Nez and act as I normally would, because it was just a kiss. It was nothing, just a harmless contact of skin which was currently driving me mad to tears, if I could cry. All I had to focus on now is to keep my promise to Jane, and to please Aro until he forgets this little fantasy of his. Its perfect. That way, Nez returns to her own life, and I stay here in my little corner, things will go back to normal in no time.
"I do have a clue, Mia. Not that your opinion was needed." I called out to her, but she was already out of the hallway, I swore I could hear her giggling.
I spent most of the night coming up with ways to approach and handle my problem. Listening to the Masters go on and on was going to make me want to set myself on fire, so I just tuned them out and put them on mute. And when the morning came I knew I had to face Nez. Avoiding the kiss was not going to be simple, I knew she had enjoyed the encounter as well, and with her being a girl, she was bound to want to talk about it. Not that I had a lot of experience with girls, the only girl I was close to was Jane, and she doesn't kiss. Not that I know of at least.
Still, I had to try and avoid the subject, if it was at all humanly possible.
Ha, humanly.
After Aro dismissed us to start the new day, I went straight to Nez's room, praying she was still asleep.
I was wrong, of course.
When I opened the door, there she sat, beautiful as ever. She was laying down on her back, one knee propped up, and a book resting on her chest as she read it. Her hair was a total mess, it was up in a loose ponytail on the top of her head, strands of hair falling from every angle, framing her face and neck. She was wearing only a black sports bra and very short shorts, it was like she was purposely trying to lure me. Her bare waist was visible to my eyes, that I caught myself staring at her adorable belly button, I noticed she was an innie, which made it all the more attractive. Her skin was so creamy and flawless, her long legs smooth and sleek. I was studying every curve I could see, all the way from her pink painted toenails to her eyes, which were staring right at me, her mouth partly open. Not a word coming from either of us. Her lips were calling to me, reminding me of yesterdays events. I didn't know what was happening to me, like I said I had no intention of kissing her again.
But once again, all rational thought went out the window as soon I stepped into her presence. I had no thought of Jane or Aro, I wasn't thinking about loyalties or traditions, I wasn't thinking about her family, or my responsibilities as a guard. All I was focused on now was her mouth, and as I found myself drifting closer and closer to her, she stood up from the bed, meeting me halfway. It all felt very slow motion, like I couldn't get to her fast enough.
And when I finally reached her, our mouths compacted, my cold skin merging with her warmth. My hands pressed against the small part of her back, pulling her into me, I wasn't going for soft kisses now. It was far too late for that. Without hesitation, I parted her mouth and began to stroke her tongue with mine, making her body respond in ways that caused my own to come alive. She breathed heavily into mouth, her heart beat racing at a speed unimaginable. Her tongue was like fire to the touch. I craved for more, it was like the animalistic traits in both of us couldn't get enough. That all this time of us denying only made things harder, making the need we had for each other increase. Every heated conversation, every touch, every unspoken desire, even every argument was being poured into this. We no longer had control. I wanted her, even my body wanted her, in a way that only my fantasies were aware of.
"Alec. I want--I need you…" she managed to gasp as I kissed down her neck. She tasted so sweet on my lips. Like the sweetest blood I have ever consumed.
I'm not going to lie, I was hard, very hard that it would be apparent to those in outer space, but I didn't care, not when I could feel her swollen, stone breasts pressed up against my chest, and knowing that she wanted it now wasn't helping. As she called my name out again, I gripped on to her bare thighs and pushed her up in my arms, Nez instantly wrapping her legs around my waist as she pulled my hair lightly.
I knew I wanted to please her and my self and at the time, I had every intention of doing so. I was going to pleasure her until she felt nothing, make her scream into my ear so loud that I would hear it echoing for days. I wanted to know what she felt like inside, beneath me, kissing me as I bedded her. It was such a strange feeling. Knowing I could possess her and she wanted me to obviously because she was ready. She was wet, so wet that I could feel it against me, as my hands on her back found their way up and under the annoying sports bra, I heard Nez gasp. My fingers brushing under the edge on bare breast, making me feel such victory.
I don't know how much Renesmee has done in the past, but as I walked quickly to the bed with her in my arms, her warm fingers, shook slightly as she unbuttoned my jacket.
Oh god.
Kissing her down the neck, my hands roamed her body, looking into her eyes I waited for her consent, she just smiled, and quickly, with her small hands pulled my jacket off completely.
She then paused, and looked me deep in the eyes. I stared back in confusion, I didn't understand why she was looking at me so intensely all of the sudden.
But then she spoke, and I honestly didn't know how I was to respond.
"Tell me how you feel about me, Alec. I want to know what this is…" Her big eyes were staring up at me, beautiful and delicate. I couldn't say a word; I didn't know what to say. She wanted to know how I felt about her, and I couldn't give her an answer, as much as I wanted to. Because even I didn't know what it was I was experiencing. I didn't understand my feelings; I didn't know how to process them. So when she asked me, how could I give her an answer? I didn't know what she wanted to hear, I didn't know how she felt about me completely, though I know it was stupid of me, I felt sudden fear. Like if I say to much, that all this would end badly, as I tried to kiss her again, she turned her face, where my lips brushed her cheek, that was when we were interrupted. By my better judgment.
It was like a flash before my eyes, my death in the hands of the Volturi, all because of this. The disappointment of my family and hers. And that's when I realized something.
I can't do this.
"Nez, I don't think we should--…."
"Why?!…don't you care a little?"
I sighed, and she frowned, understanding what I was going to do. I quickly got up, and looked for the jacket she had discarded, finding in across the room. I hadn't even noticed she threw it, though in my defense, my mind was complete gone. Picking up the jacket, I sensed tension coming from Nez.
Just then I remembered Jane's voice and what she said to me prior to this, about Edward and about how this would end.
Edward. What do you think he'll say when Renesmee goes home, and tells daddy dearest that she's spent her time kissing one of Aro's favorites? I mean I don't suppose he'd open his arms to you, not after everything you've done in your past, after everything your doing still. You're a Volturi, Aro's venom runs through your blood Alec, when I told you, you'd never leave our family, do you think I didn't have reason for it? I'm just saying this of course, to protect you. To kill it before you end up hurt, before you both--
Her voice was still so clear, and even when I wanted to so bad to be with Nez in that way, I couldn't go through with it, it would end badly and only leave things in much worse condition that before. And though it hurt me to pull away, I had to.
"Nez, understand we can't be like this, I want too, you know I do, but we can't..." I reasoned, though the look on her face told me she wasn't listening to reason. She wanted to finish what we had started, though to be honest I'm not sure how far we would have gotten anyway. As far as I was concerned it was just one big make-out session, one that I enjoyed too much. too much apparently.
"What do you mean, we can't? You were the one who started all of this!" She snapped, clearly offended that I riled her up, I couldn't blame her for that. I was riling my myself up, for nothing.
She jumped up from the bed and stomped by, placing her hands on her hips, glaring at me. I could sense her anger circling the room around me, it was easy to see that she was pissed. Her eyebrows pulled together, and her face seemed more red than usual. Of course her heart was still racing.
"Well? What's the problem now, Alec? will this keep happening, we kiss, and you walk away? Do you keep pulling away because you're reminded of how you're getting up close and personal with a mutt?"
"Stop it, Renesmee. You are being ridiculous." I snapped, gripping onto my hair as if I was going to pull it out of my skull. This girl was going to cause me so much stress, for doing the right thing, no less! If I could age I would be having grey hairs by now.
"It was just kissing, it wasn't going to lead to anything. It…it didn't mean anything. I have more control then that-"
"Kissing? You call that just kissing!?"
Maybe that was the wrong way of putting it.
I simply nodded as she fumed; she began to growl low in her throat. It was low, but it meant business, I knew she wouldn't understand any of this, cause she didn't think about the future, or the consequences of our actions and how they would reflect everything and everybody. We had to think about others, not ourselves. if only I could make her see that. I had to get that into her head, if that was possible. She was stubborn after all, making her understand would be practically impossible! As I stepped closer to her, Nez stepped back.
"Well I'd love you know what you interpret as screwing, Alec!" She yelped, and in a fast speed she was in the bathroom, and locked the door.
I didn't know what to do, I hadn't been in the situation either. Apart of me wanted her to sit and sulk until she got over it, but the more noble side of me knew better. I didn't like seeing her upset, even though it shouldn't have mattered to me.
Walking to the bathroom door, I searched for the words to say, though I knew they probably wouldn't do much for me. When I began to knock, I suddenly froze. hearing something, I didn't expect.
I heard footsteps in the hallway outside her room. Many of them. As I tried to figure out what I was going to do with Nez, the bathroom door swung open. her face puffy and red, her arms folded across her chest, glaring at me.
"What are you still doing here?!" she asked, as I opened the door into the hallway and looked to confirm what I knew to be true.
It was feeding time.
"Alec..?"
I didn't know how to prepare her for what she was about to witness. She had never seen exactly how we fed, the group of tourists, nothing.
But before I could say anything, it was too late. The crowd had arrived, People of different races and ages from 8 to 50 at least. All being escorted to their death. Staying completely quite, I heard Heidi asking me if I was joining them, I ignored her, keeping my eyes on Nez's confused face. I slowly started to walk towards her, when suddenly I heard Felix chuckling in the hall.
"I call dibs on the blonde in the front." I heard him whisper, his voice not quite loud enough for the humans to hear, but loud enough for Renesmee to.
That's when she realized what was going on. when I glanced back at her face, Nez's eyes widened in horror, as she covered her mouth with her hand, like it would keep her screams of sadness from escaping. Her chest was heaving up and down rapidly, trying to catch her breath. She was having a panic attack, I was sure of it. And though I promised I wouldn't kiss her anymore, I could still be concerned about her health, that was something I couldn't control.
I am so emotionally disabled.
I closed the bedroom door and in an instant, I was guiding her to the bed, I was now in desperate need for her to calm down, but it was a wasted effort. She started shaking her head, trying to block out reality.
"All those people…they're….lunch?" Her voice was so weak and vulnerable, it made me feel guilty. Not for what I am, but for her witnessing it.
I'm just not having my type of day. One minute, I'm jumping her bones when I swore I wouldn't. And the next I'm denying her advances. Then to top it all off, today just had to be feeding day.
Just. My. Luck.
"Renesmee, you need to breathe."
"No, you need to tell them to stop." Right on cue, the screaming began. "Make it stop!" Tears were falling down her cheeks, and I placed my hands over her ears, trying to block out the sound as best I could. Though it was unavoidable, it filled the whole place. After a few moments, I came up with an idea on how to distract her. She always wanted to know things about me, I still couldn't figure out why, though if it would help take her mind off of reality, I would do just about anything.
"Ask me something. Anything." I said, rubbing her back, she raised her eyes at me, in surprise.
"You're bluffing."
"No, I'm serious. Anything you want to know."
She seemed to be second guessing me, I didn't know if she was taking me serious or not. I doubted she believed me. But then another wave of screams came, and it was like Nez was becoming desperate for anything.
"Ahh! Uh-- Okay, I'll go along. Um, what's your favorite color?"
I laughed. Out of all things she wanted to know that?
"I don't know…red." I blurted. Her eyes widened at my choice. That's when it hit me; I was making it all worse and not better.
"Red? As in…blood red? What's wrong with you? Why can't you just pick-"
"Okay! Okay, black? Blacks a good color!"
"Black is not a color, it's a shade."
"Damn it, is there no pleasing you, woman?! Ask another question I can give you the right answer to!"
She started laughing slightly at that, it made me feel like I was accomplishing something. After a few moments of trying to catch her breathe, her mind searched for more questions. I was about to give up on her coming up with one, till finally her voice spoke, in a childlike matter.
"What was your eye color when you were human?" She asked, this time she seemed more interested in knowing that answer. I honestly hadn't thought about my human eye color in ages, I wondered why she would want to know that, because by the look in her eyes, it would seem that she's been wondering for quite some time. So odd.
"Brown." I stated, wondering if she would buy it.
Her eyes narrowed, and she raised an eyebrow at me. She suspected otherwise, as I had presumed she would. Nothing passed her, not even things that happened centuries ago. When she wanted to know something, she would find the answer one way or another; I found that out the hard way. And as much as it annoyed me, I admired her for it, not everyone had that determination. I just couldn't understand why the would have such strong curiosity for a being like myself.
"Brown?" She sounded skeptical.
"Yes, brown."
"I don't believe that."
"Fine, they were green."
She seemed to consider than one, but she still didn't look convinced. She really was so stubborn.
"They were blue." She said, as if it wasn't as a question. She said it like a known fact. And she was right, of course. She amazed me beyond belief with her certainty. how did she know? How could she see that part of me that has been gone for a long time? I thought back to my human days, it was so long ago, but yet I can still remember little details like that. My eyes. I hadn't thought of the color in ages that it felt foreign, I could remember being thankful for them though, because Jane had always wished for the shade herself, but she wasn't blessed as I was. Still, it's not like it mattered now, they were red as most vampire eyes were, but then again it distracted her from the now dulling sound outside this room, so why complain?
"Yes, they were blue. My mother always said I had the brightest bluest eyes in the village, not that my mother matters all that much…" I trailed off, not wanting to get into that conversation. Nez quickly placed her hand on my cold cheek, making my chest feel light as she looked at me with tender eyes.
I finally felt like I was getting somewhere in her distraction, but the accomplishment vanished quickly when I heard a female scream. She must of escaped the throne room because we could hear her outside the door, banging on it, begging for help. Sometimes the humans managed to escape the main room, but they never got far. After all, how could they? Vampire speed was not something human's take to considering when trying to make a run for it, though I admire their attempts, some humans can be more difficult to catch then others, though it seems this one wasn't.I could see by the look on Nez's face her heart was aching to open that door and try to save her, but she knew it wouldn't do any good. If anything, it would make matters worst, possibly death on her end. I couldn't allow that to happen either, so I just held her hands tight, making her focus on my eyes.
she was shaking now though, practically sobbing. I wanted to make it stop for her, and the only way I could think of how to do that was to numb her hearing senses enough to where she wouldn't hear anything outside this room.
Why didn't I think of that before?
Nez was mumbling nonsense I couldn't understand, as I just ran my hands over her cheeks, trying to comfort her as I let the mist eject from my body, letting it surround her.
She stopped crying when she realized what I was doing. Nez then looked at me with awe, her eyes wide and fascinated as to what I was doing. I cupped her face, just staring at her, waiting for the screaming to end, and within time, Nez heart beat slowed to normalcy. Well, her normalcy.
As Nez's breathing returned to normal, she seemed to relax a bit, obviously feeling more secure with my cutting off her hearing. Under normal circumstances, I would have never done this to her, but desperate times call for desperate measures, as they say.
When the screaming was officially over, I allowed the mist to fade slowly, still staring at me, a smile crept up on her face. Her pearl white teeth showing though her mouth, as her eyes looked at me in wonder. I've never had that kind of response before to my powers. It felt oddly comforting.
"That was really interesting…I mean I know you had made me deaf the first day I got here, remember? We were walking down the hall? But that…can you make me blind, too?" She sounded way too curious, and I narrowed my eyes at her.
"No."
I was glad she was feeling better, but I wasn't going to cut of her senses for the hell of it. Did she even know what I used my ability for most the time? I used it on vampires who are on trial, so they wont run away, or I used it on the humans I fed on. It wasn't suppose to be a fun activity.
"You said anything I wanted."
"No, I said anything you wanted to know." I corrected.
"Well I want to know what it feels like to be blind." She said sternly, but when I didn't say anything her face softened into a pout. "Please? Please, please, please? Only for a little while, I promise." She begged, giving me the puppy dog look that I couldn't resist.
I sighed in frustration, surrendering myself in defeat. I simply couldn't say no to her.
I've become the world's biggest pushover, haven't I?
"Don't forget, you asked for it."
Smirking at her as I let the mist surround her, her eyes, which were so focused on what she wanted, transformed into a glazy look, not focusing on anything. I had no idea why anyone would want to experience blindness, but Nez seemed to think of it as a learning experience. I on the other hand thought it was beyond stupid, I realize this may sound odd coming from someone whose power is to numb people, but I always thought one should always be thankful for their sight and/or hearing. Not play in fate's sandbox for fun. Still it was something else, watching her take this in. almost sensual. After moments of watching, I slowly reached over and brushed her loose hair out of her face, Nez jumping to the touch as I knew she would.
"Whoa…" She mumbled, grinning to herself, slowly reaching out in front of her, trying to touch me back. In that split second I thought of something fun, well fun for me. She wanted to be blind, I was going to give her the full effect, maybe then she wouldn't be curious as to what it felt like, maybe it was what she needed.
Before her fingers reached my cheek, I moved out of her grasp and in a fast speed, running to the other side of the room, right next to her bathroom door, I smiled playfully.
feeling the gush of wind of my absence, Nez eyebrows creased with confusion. The look on her face was priceless beyond belief.
"Alec? Alec, c'mon this isn't funny." She said, waving her arms around. I chuckled silently. After she walked into the dresser a couple of times, I decided I just couldn't be so harsh to her. She'd end up with a breaking something probably. Walking back to her bed, Nez sat there with her arms cross, as if she truly thought I left her.
Silly girl.
"Polo…" I called out to her in a playful voice. Her eyes narrowed as she got up off the bed, this time with a annoyed expression on her face as she tried following my voice, but I moved before she could reach me. I was now in a corner right next to her dresser, using my elbow as a prob.
"Polo…" I said again, she whipped her head around in many directions, trying to find me.
"I don't want to play, Alec!"
Nez started, frowning. as I tried so hard not to laugh, for it would give me away. It was hard though, in fact I had never anything this funny in all my existence, but I kept mute. If she didn't want to play, I wouldn't. But I continued to stay silent as she stumbled around the room calling my name. I could see the frustration building up inside her rapidly when I was not replying her calls. I was beginning to think she was never going to talk to me again and call me all kinds of names, but instead, she sighed loudly and rolled her eyes.
"Marco?" She said reluctantly, I grinned in triumph. But I still didn't say anything, just so I could hear her say it again. I wanted her to give in completely, even if she didn't want too.
This really was entertaining. I had never thought my ability could make me this amused and smug, it was making me finally proud of my gift in a different way then usual. Hearing Nez complain again, I couldn't help but feel as though, she should have known I wasn't going to play fair, I mean doesn't she know me at all?
"Marco, damn it!" She yelled louder. I smirked wickedly.
This was my cue. In an instant I was right behind her, her body tensing from the surprise as my chest pressed against her back. My arms wrapped around her, caressing her jaw.
"Come on, Nez you wanted to be blind. " I whispered in her ear, my lips barely touching her neck. She seemed to shiver. But before she could turn around I was gone again, I circled her to where I was now facing her, only she didn't know it. I don't know why, but I've never played this game before. Not even when I was at the appropriate age, but somehow I felt like I was a pro already.
Mumbling a couple of words, she took a step forward, finally getting into the game. I wanted her to rely on her senses. I was curious on how good they were, and so far she hadn't done anything to make me they were to superior to my own. It was actually pitiful.
"Your getting warmer…" I taunted her, she took this as an encouragement, because she charged at me, but once again I whipped around her before she could grasp onto me.
I laughed as she fumed.
"You know what? I don't care where you are. I'm not playing anymore. I'll just find my own way around." She stated in the direction that she thought I was in, her pale face, smiling slightly, as if she thought that would count as her defeat. Only I was behind her, not in front of her, and I wasn't so sure I wanted to quit my new favorite game. As she stumbled around the room, obviously trying to find the bed, but was having not a lot of luck. I stared at her, a grin to my face.
"I know your smiling, and it's not funny!" She snapped, and just like that I was in front of her, lowering her body onto the bed that she was right in front of, though she didn't realize it. She gasped at the suddenness of my contact with her, but she didn't protest me when I practically pinned her the bed. Her heart skipped a beat again, and she blushed.
Damn it! Once again, I had taken it too far. Why could I not keep myself in check? This was insane! I tensed, and in an instant was off of her, now laying beside on her the bed. This couldn't do any damage. Could it?
I am so sick of this.
"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. You were so clueless…" I shrugged, she laughed a little but then the laugh turned into a glare. She sighed, and looked at me. figuratively speaking of course.
"Your mean."
"I never said I was a nice person, Nez." I reasoned, maybe this was the chance I needed to explain to her how this would never work. She had the right to know, it wasn't fair to her, or to me. Especially when I kept going back on my word. I used to think I was strong, but more and more lately it seems like I'm losing control of myself. I've always been level headed, I knew what I was going to do and I stuck to the plan. But now? I had no idea what I was doing, she was literally turning my world upside down. I was so tempted once again to kiss her, but I wouldn't.
"Nez, about what we did, before--"
"You can be nice when you want to be, " She mumbled, and fumbled a pillow with her hands, completely cutting me off.
"Like for example, it would be nice of you to give me my sight back…"
I laughed softly, forgetting what I was about to and leaned forward to kiss each of her closed eyelids gently, as I gave her sight back, my nose bushed against her soft hair. She smelled amazing, like always, but for some reason right now the scent was intoxicatingly wonderful. It was lavender, again. I didn't know why she always smelled like lavender, but she did.
That was when I decided that lavender was my favorite scent. On her, it was in fact mouthwatering.
When I pulled away from her she opened her eyes and blinked, overwhelmed by being able to see again.
"Can I ask you something? it's a simple question, I swear." She asked, looking nervous all of the sudden. I could scarcely think of things for her to ask me that were simple questions. I didn't think she knew the meaning of a 'simple' question. But of course, I was going to let her ask.
"What?"
"Well, I was thinking…Aro really wants me to go with a…escort to my birthday party. And honestly, who better than you to take me as a favor? I mean, you're the only one I could think of and I should hate you, for earlier, but since you helped me with the…um..ya know, I thought you'd…" She was ringing her hands now, she was nervous I was going to turn her down.
So silly.
I smirked at her, and sighed.
"I thought you didn't want to go to at all."
"I changed my mind," She said, a little defensive now. She obviously was not wanting be to beat around the bush, but to just give her an answer.
I was horrible, I knew it, but I wanted mess around with her a bit, besides I had to think what this meant. If it would be in encouraging any harmful emotions. It would be like a date in a since. Can a date be so bad? Looking back at Nez, I saw hope, then when I knew that I didn't care about the harm at all, since I should probably consult this with Aro, on where or not it would be a good idea.
"Well, I don't know, I'll have to think about it." I teased, as she narrowed her eyes. She was so beautiful when she was annoyed. She was beautiful all the time, she just had that natural effect. I honestly kept expecting my heart to start beating any moment when I was with her, I wouldn't doubt she could do that to me. She controlled everything else, why not my heart?
"Yes or no, Alec. it's a one time offer." She said in a dull tone. Her good mood had vanished rather quickly.
"Hmmm…" I pretended to think about it, as if I was checking my schedule in my head. Nez waited impatiently as I cocked my head to one side and squinted my eyebrows.
"Well!?"
"Maybe you'll see me there." I gave her my answer, and got up off the bed, putting on my jacket, buttoning it up as I ran my fingers though my hair. Keeping it out of my face.
"Forget it, I don't want you to come." She said in the cutest voice imaginable, like a little girl who didn't get exactly what she wanted for Christmas.
I smiled at her, and shook my head. she probably wanted me to come a lot more then she was letting on and it felt good to see it. Very good.
"Well if that's how you really feel…" I let my voice trail off as I started towards her door. I heard her huff.
"Well is that a no!?" She called out, sounding desperate for some kind of communication. I really was cruel, wasn't I? Here I was, joking around with her like this. But I wanted to keep her on her toes, it was fun. She didn't think so of course but being that I'm over 900 years old and she isn't, it'd be normal for us to have different ways of contentment with our existences.
"No."
"Then is it a yes?"
"No…I'll see you later, Nez." I replied, and with that I walked out, leaving her completely aggravated with me.
"I hate you!" She called out after I shut her door, I chuckled to myself, walking down the long hall towards my own room.
But the more I walked, the more I thought about how much I disliked hearing those words come from her mouth.
I hate you.
That was the last thing I wanted her to feel for me, I couldn't bear the thought of her hating me, but I wouldn't blame her if she would grow to loathe me, if she didn't already.
Why did I care so much? Why should I care so much?
Maybe my thoughts were right. Maybe I really should stop fooling myself and admit like the man I was that I have actual, genuine feelings for her. that's what I was doing wasn't I? trying to talk myself out of something that felt so wonderful? After all, why was I so persistent on her realizing that we could never be? Why I was so worried what Edward thought about?
Because I was falling for Renesmee Cullen, and it scared the hell of me.
God, help us all.
Writers Note: SO SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! Tiff is having major problems with her computer meaning that its 'dead'. Yes we realize that Alec seems really bipoler, but he has alot going on, with Aro and Jane and plus his feelings for Renesmee, it gets confusing to him. But, things will thin out soon, and he wont be as jerky with his emotions. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS YOU ARE BLOWING OUR MINDS!!
We are already working on chapter 11. Hopefully we will have it up before Christmas! But..please don't get your hopes up, because of the computer situation, you never know. But we'll try to get it up as soon as possible!
Thank you all so much again! You guys are part of the reason we keep writing!! As much as we write for our own enjoyment and amusment, ya'll are the ones that keep is going! So thank you!
Oh-- and don't forget to check out our profile to see outfits, you might wanna take a look at our blog...a little crazy, explains what happend when we met Peter Facinelli (we're not bragging, we swear) the blog in general is insane...but fun!! so..go!
Much Love,
~IITM