The Forgotten Child

Chapter 10: The Calm Before the Storm

Warnings: Graphic description of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, mentions of rape and violence

HPHPHPHPHP

The trudge back to the manor was filled with a pregnant silence that weighed down heavily on all three men. Cerin was more then happy to rush back into the relative safety of the manor, walking as quickly as he could to the haven of his room. He didn't see the worried looks his parents sent his way.

He couldn't help the fact that people made him nervous; all his life had been spent being pursued by mad men who wanted nothing better than to see him dead.

Before he turned down a corridor, which he hopped would bring him back to his room a voice caught his attention.

"Cerin, dinner is served at seven, please do join us then, Draco and Narcissa haven't seen much of you yet, and I'm sure we'd all appreciate and enjoy your company." Lucius was satisfied at seeing the terse nod directed at him, watching with a small amount of sorrow as his son walked away from them as quickly as possible without it being deemed impolite. Severus and he had both noticed that however much their child tried to hide it he was not comfortable in their presence, and both were worried at what was causing such an extreme reaction. Hopefully he was just shy and nervous around his new family, although the longer they spent with the young man, the least likely this theory seemed. They hadn't survived as spies for the Order for so long without being the best at what they did; and the dark haired potions master and his bonded knew something was deeply wrong, they just couldn't figure out what it was yet. Time would tell anyway, it always did.

HPHPHP

Cerin felt lost, he didn't know what he was going to do with his life, to be honest he wasn't sure if it was worth it to go on living. He didn't want to die per say, he just didn't want to be alive. Life was cruel, he should know, he had lived through hell, only to come out more broken and battered each time. Whoever had said 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' obviously had no idea what he was talking about.

All of his near death experiences had left him longing for only one thing, oblivion. He didn't believe in God, or heaven and hell; and thank Merlin for that, for the teen was sure that if he did believe in some form of eternal judgment, then he would be condemned to an eternity in the underworld for his sins. He couldn't bare the thought of his parents – well who he had thought were his parents- being able to see what his life had become. He was a stain on their good name, a reject and a freak, unworthy of their love, of anyone's love. He couldn't understand why his real parents would want him, he was disgusting, and he just knew that if they ever found out about his secrets that they would throw him out on his arse and say 'good riddance', for no one wanted him, no one had ever wanted him, whether he was Harry, or Cerin; he had always been unlovable. He was destined to remain forever alone; and that was all right with him, he had come to terms with it, even. In fact he didn't think he would mind it that much, after of all, if he remained alone there would be no one to torment him, no one to break his bones, and beat him into submission, no Uncle Vernon to mercilessly rape him until his throat was hoarse from his screams and his pleas for him to stop, for mercies sake, please Uncle, please just stop.

And anyway his task was done; he could die happily knowing that he had protected the ones he loved, even if his fake parents and Cedric had slipped through the cracks. He was certain he wouldn't be missed, his new parents would probably be glad to be rid of him; he was a burden and a waste of space after all, that lesson had been properly beaten into him, he would never forget it.

Undressing in his ridiculously oversized bathroom the boy stared at his emaciated frame in detached horror and revulsion. He resembled a skeleton, what little flesh he had left clinging to his bones in some futile attempt at trying to keep him warm and alive.

Cerin didn't even feel the gnawing hunger that used to torment him, that would fill his every waking moment when he was a young child, locked in his cupboard. He had learned early on that his pleas for food would just result in him being left alone for longer bouts of time to suffer the starvation, and would also occasionally merit a beating. Of course freaks were meant to be seen and not heard was one of his uncle's most favourite idioms, and if Uncle Vernon had had his way, he would never have been seen either.

No, Cerin just felt tired, so god damn weary of the world that seemed to want to beat him down at any given opportunity.

Reaching into one of the many cupboards scattered around the room he retrieved his special knife, which he had hidden inside one of the multitude of soft white towels, he had never experienced such luxury as this, and was still unsure about what to do with himself in such a grand place.

Looking at the self inflicted scars that littered his body he felt oddly satisfied and proud; choosing not to dwell on his confusing emotions, he focused on pressing the carefully honed blade to the already damaged expanse of skin on his upper thigh.

Exerting even the smallest amount of pressure he could feel the cold bite and sting that resulted in the parting of his skin and a small stream of blood to trickle across his unnaturally pale skin, traveling down his leg until it dripped onto the previously pristine marble floor. At first only a few drops, mimicking the beginnings of an autumn shower, creeping up slowly, and leaving the spectator unaware before the floodgates opened and all hell would break loose.

As if in a trance, the teen continued this process mechanically until the area around him was tinted red and he had started to feel dizzy, he wasn't sure if it was from the blood loss or the lack of food. To be honest, he didn't particularly care either way.

Finally feeling calmer and more in control of himself and his emotions, Cerin carefully cleaned the blade of all traces of blood by hand, a ritual he had perfected until his movements were flawless and practiced. The stains on the floor he merely vanished with a flick of his wand, uncaring at the sight of his life's blood disappearing. Summoning bandages he proceeded to carefully wrap his leg tightly, he didn't always bother to do this, he preferred to know that his wounds remained untreated, penitence for his crimes, and a method of calming his often-spiraling emotions.

However this time some of the cuts were too deep, and if he didn't tend to them they would stain his clothes and might arouse suspicion with his family if they saw the dirtied clothing.

Feeling exhausted Cerin exited the bathroom, encountering a worried looking Valerius who whined softly at him and huffed at his hair before nudging the boy towards the bed and laying down next to him. Cerin felt safe when he shuffled as close to his wolf as was humanly possible, at the moment one of his only reasons for living was Val, the beast was his only true friend, even though he had known him for less time then any of his other friends, the bond that linked them together was just too strong, it was an almost tangible presence between them, bringing Cerin comfort in his dark state of mind.

Finally succumbing to his exhaustion the elf fell into a fitful sleep.

HPHPHPHP

The rest of Cerin's family had gathered in one of the informal sitting rooms, the topic at hand being of course, the newest addition to their home. They were settled around the fireplace, their faces softly illuminated by the gentle glow of the flames and the chandelier that hung in the centre of the room. Severus was sat next to Draco, his son tucked against his body in a rare show of vulnerability and affection. Lucius and Narcissa were resting on a settee, placed opposite them, yet turned towards the roaring fir.

Even immersed in their thoughts, they were all dwelling on one thing, Cerin; he had lead a difficult and had in fact just killed a man; granted said man had been trying to kill him for years, but the facts still remained the same. Most people needed time and space to digest what they had done, but Cerin just didn't seem to be handling everything very well, if the teen continued to show signs of depression, for that was what it seemingly looked like, Severus and Lucius were resolved to confront their child, and if need be seek outside help.

They were no mind healers, yes they had also gone through terrible things, had done terrible things, and may be able to empathise and understand their child up to a certain point, but they would not compare their ordeals to his. No two people thought in the exact same way, and if Cerin were truly suffering then they would not be foolish enough to try and sort everything out on their own if it became clear they were out of their depths. The health and safety of their child would always come first, even if it meant putting aside their pride and admitting they needed help to heal their son.

Turning to Draco, Lucius inquired softly. "Son, have you noticed anything different about Cerin this year, or even since he has come to stay with us, I understand that you haven't seen much of him, but anything you might have noticed could be helpful. I imagine that you would probably notice different things then Severus, since he is your teacher and not your peer."

"Well he seems to hang out less with the other parts of the Golden Trio, although I guess the Weasel" at the disapproving look his mother gave him he quickly corrected himself "Err, Weasley isn't really his friend anymore. As to more recently, he does seem a bit off, but I guess it's most likely due to everything that's happened to him."

"Well it's probably a good idea if we all keep an eye on him, Draco, if you see anything that seems unusual to you, please tell one of us, we're all worried about your brother." Added Narcissa, trying to get the importance of her message across to Draco. If her suspicions were confirmed then Cerin would definitely need the help of a mind healer, she would just wait and observe before saying anything to Lucius or Severus, although she was sure that by now both of them surely shared some of her thoughts.

"Dragon, remember, you are also our son, and you are just as important as Cerin, and we love you just as much. You both hold equal places in our hearts. However at the moment Cerin needs a bit more of our attention, purely because he is going through a lot. We understand that you have also experienced difficult times, and we will always be here for you, you can always come see us with any of your problems and we will try our very best to help."

Draco nodded shyly at Severus's words, it meant even more coming from him, considering he wasn't his biological father, but that had never mattered in their family, he had always seen Severus as his father. "Thank you, I understand that Cerin will need some more looking after for the foreseeable future. I'll look after him, he's my little brother after all." Narcissa looked on proudly at her son, he had matured so much recently, although it was sad that it had come about due to a war, no one should ever have to live through that.

"Were is my little brother anyway, isn't it soon time for dinner?"

Checking the time and seeing that it was indeed soon approaching seven, Lucius turned to his son "Draco, would you mind going to get Cerin and show him to the dinning room, I'm sure he would appreciate someone other then the house elves guiding him around. Also just make sure he's alright, I get the impression that's he's more comfortable around you and Narcissa then he is with Severus and I."

"Sure dad, no problem, we should be down in a few minutes."

HPHPHPHP

Cerin had slowly drifted off to sleep, although somewhat reluctantly, he had been plagued by nightmares for the past few years, or maybe night terrors was a more accurate term. Right now he was tossing and turning in his sheets, small whimpers escaping him periodically, whilst Val watched over him, licking him gently in an attempt to rouse him from his slumber. The air around the elf was slowly starting to grow heavy with wild magic, Cerin's uncontrolled power escaping his body and seeking out invisible enemies in his dream.

Uncle Vernon stood braced above Cerin who was lying prone on the linoleum-covered floor of Number 4 Privet's Drive corridor. "You little freak, how dare you try and steal food from the trash like some filthy animal, you ungrateful shit. We have fed and provided for you, given you a roof over your head, and this is how you repay us. You try and steal from us!"

"No Uncle Vernon I swear I-I wasn't going to…"

"Don't lie to me boy, you were going to eat it weren't you" seeing his nephew shake his head in denial he grabbed the child and shook him violently, all the while roaring in his face " You will tell me the truth or I will make you regret the day you were born."

"Uncle, I'm so sorry, I was just so hungry" Vernon's face seemed to turn an even darker shade of red at his stuttering words, Cerin vaguely wondered if he would explode. He quickly had other things to think about as his uncle unbuckled his belt and proceeded to start hitting him repeatedly with the buckle. "This should teach you, you disgusting waste of space, you'll never amount to anything, just like your parents. Although I might know one way in which you could be more useful to me." With those words a vicious looking grin stretched his face grotesquely, he then reached down and started to unzip his trousers.

It was at this point that Cerin started screaming, both in his dream and in real life. Draco coming up the stairs to his brother's room sprinted down the few remaining corridors, afraid that Death Eaters had somehow managed to break into the manor and attack his younger brother. Seeking retributions for the death of their master, oh Merlin he hopped it wasn't someone like Bellatrix, if it were her, he would be lucky to even find Cerin in one piece, never mind alive.

Bursting into the room wand at the ready Draco was stunned to see his brother writhing on the bed, alone, not under spell fire, seemingly trapped in the midst of a nightmare; Valerius perched protectively over the small body.

Moving to the side of the four-poster he leaned over and tried calling to Cerin, seeing this tactic wasn't working and wanting to wake him up so he could then go and get help of his parents, he made the mistake of touching the other teen's skin. With the sound of a thunderclap, Draco was thrown bodily across the room, his body smacking into the wall with a sharp crack, before falling limply to the floor.

Meanwhile downstairs the adults suddenly felt a spike of wild magic, knowing they were alone in the manor apart for Cerin and Draco, they rushed to the younger's room, hoping that everything was alright, and praying to Merlin and Morganna that their children were safe.

When they entered Cerin's room it was to see an unconscious and bleeding Draco sprawled on the ground, whilst their youngest was screaming bloody murder, lost within the confines of his own mind.

Quickly assessing the situation, Severus began barking orders, "Narcissa, get Draco out of the room, gather the necessary potions from my stock and if need be contact Poppy, understood?" at her nod and her confident advance towards Draco he knew that his son would be in safe hands. The dark haired man then turned to his husband, " We have to try and wake him up, his magic is only growing in power and I fear what may happen if it is released in it's entirety."

"But how are we going to do that, based on how we found Draco I would say that he is subconsciously protecting himself by harming anyone who tries to touch him."

Severus grimaced at the very astute reasoning, it was imperative that the boy wake up. Looking around the room his mind finally registered the presence of Val, still lying next to their son. Well it seemed that it wasn't impossible for everyone to get near their son, nonetheless it appeared that only a select few were permitted.

"Severus, do you think if we tried to wrap our magic around Cerin's it might work to calm him? I know for a fact that when wood elves are growing up, they often need their parent's magic to act as a cocoon in-between it and the outside world. I know Cerin has never felt our magic act in such a way, but it is possible that his subconscious will recognize it from when he was a babe and react to it , or at least manage to calm him enough to wake him."

"Well it's certainly worth a shot, better that then wait for him to bring the whole manor down on our heads."

At those words they linked hands and pushed their magic outwards from their bodies, focusing on layering it around Cerin's still writhing form. It took a while but they could progressively feel the wild magic that was coming off the child slowly start die down, until it finally retreated back into the young man's core. Both men sagged in relief at the sight, it wasn't an easy task pushing one's magic outside of one's body, and if they hadn't been together for so long, or if their magics hadn't been so well matched, doing it in tandem would have been nigh on impossible.

Looking at their son, they saw he was no longer thrashing about like he had been before, but small whimpers still came from him fairly frequently. Moving forwards Lucius touched his son's arm, glad when he wasn't thrown away by their child's magic. Shaking him gently and calling out his name, he waited with bated breath until twitching eyelids finally pealed open, showing storm grey eyes filled with such sorrow that even Lucius had rarely seen in his life.

Both men were saddened to see that their son's first instinct was to flinch away from them, cowering at the top of his bed, trying to protect his face and chest with his arms, curling up into the smallest ball possible, obviously trying to make himself less of a target to whatever person Cerin thought they were.

Severus and Lucius wondered angrily about what kind of person had ingrained such reflexes into their child; and may god have mercy on their soul should they ever found out who it was; for they would not show that monster any quarter.

HPHPHPHP

AN: Thank you to everyone who reads this story, and to all those who favourite and follow, as well as those who review. You all make me so happy. As to the plot of this story: Is there anything in particular any of you would like to see happen in this story? Leave your suggestions in your reviews and I will take them into consideration. Thank you everyone!