Chapter 10
Past
Graduation was a week away. Fedonia and Abraxas' wedding had gone wonderfully and my mother treated me normally again, as I seemed to act like a pureblood snob that she always wanted me be. Garret promised once more to come to my graduation. Mother and father were coming as well as Fedonia and Abraxas and Garret's parents also said they would be there.
I walked through Hogsmeade trying to think of a type of dress that I wanted to buy for graduation. I went into Madame Malkin's and looked around. I went searched through many different red or gold or blue dresses but didn't find one I liked. I was about to walk out when a dress caught my eye. It was a sleeveless black silk dress with long green silk darts falling from around my waist, the back laced up. I absolutely loved the dress and picked it up and then went to find shoes that matched. I found a pair of black open toed stilettos I took them and the dress up to the counter and paid for them and then went to the jewelry store. I looked around and found a pair of emerald teardrop earrings and a matching necklace. I paid and then headed back to the castle.
When I went into the common room I saw Tom on the balcony. He turned around and came in when he saw me, I stopped walking.
"Sonoña."
"My lord." I said nodding.
"Please Sonoña call me Tom." He looked upset but not mad. "Put your things away I want to talk to you."
He sat down and I went to my room and laid my things on my bed and then came back out and sat across from Tom.
After a long silence Tom spoke. "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"
I looked up at him. "Who told you?"
"Garret. He told me about how you told him everything that had happened I guess he figured I knew."
"Why didn't you tell me Sonoña?" I looked into his eyes, a look of hurt and regret shown in them, hurt from my secret and the regret of our breakup.
"We were over, we had ended our relationship and there was no reason for me to carry an illegitimate child, who wasn't going to have a father. It was my choice to make Tom and I made it, there isn't anything we can do to change it now."
"I could have helped you, we could have gotten back together, Sonoña I didn't want to lose you."
"But you did Tom, you did. You hurt me, I'm still hurt Tom. We couldn't have gotten back together. There wasn't ever an us Tom, you lied to me and went behind me back to your friends. There never was and can never be an us Tom. I'm sorry." I stood up and went to walk away.
"Soña please…" he begged.
I held my breath and shut my eyes to stop the flow of tears.
"Please don't go… I love you."
I shook my head. I turned to Tom and walked back to him. I reached up and touched his face. "If you love me will you do something for me?"
"Anything Sonoña." He said.
"Don't love me. Forget about me, forget that I ever existed Tom. It will be better for the both of us." I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek lightly. "Please do that for me. The only thing I ask of you is that."
I turned and walked to my room, I refused to look back because I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to walk away, and I couldn't betray Garret, or my family.
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"I present to you the graduating class of 1945." Professor Dippet said.
Everyone stood up and clapped. The students all left the hall and we went to change from our robes and into our dress robes for the graduation ball.
Thirty minutes later I was searching for Garret in the foyer outside the great hall. I felt arms wrap around me and I was lifted off the floor. The person turned me around in the air and I saw it was Garret. He put me down on the ground.
"Garret!" I said excitedly and hugged him.
"Sonoña you look beautiful." I heard Fedonia's voice and turned around to see my family and Garret's standing there. I smiled.
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Nott." I said politely.
"Oh darling call me mother. Garret has talked about nothing but you since Christmas, nothing but you and him moving into the manor. Oh darling you must come see our new manor, it's absolutely splendid." Mrs. Nott talked quickly.
I nodded as I took Garret's arm and we walked into the great hall. The four long house tables had been turned into many round tables covered with white tablecloths. We found one and all sat down. Garret sat on my left and Abraxas was to my right with Fedonia beside him. Then my father and mother, Mr. Nott sat beside her and Mrs. Nott sat between Garret and her husband.
Dinner was served and we ate in a comfortable silence occasionally someone would say something and a conversation would come up. My mother treated me normally, almost like a mother should treat a child. From under the table Garret had his hand on my knee, a loving act that only I could see and feel. He was just like my father, showing no love for his wife or family in public, but Garret had a way of letting me know he loved me, little ways of showing me. His hand on my knee, or when we used to go to Hogsmeade he would place his hand around my waist, a normal pureblood thing to do as any normal couple would do, although with purebloods most men were showing off their wives, but Garret would move his thumb in circles around my back where no one could see him.
Music began playing and Garret led me to the floor where other couples had begun dancing. He took my hand in his and placed his other hand on my waist, I placed my left hand on his shoulder. We danced around the floor and finally ran into Macnair who was dancing with a pretty blonde Slytherin.
"Sonoña you look wonderful in that dress, green really is your color." The girl said. I finally recognized her as Abrey Parkinson; she had an older brother who was a year older than Garret.
"Thank you, you look lovely tonight too." I said biting my tongue not to tell her she looked like a tramp in that black dress that was way to tight, cut to low, and had a slit way to far up her leg.
Macnair led her away and I looked up at Garret, he smirked at me and I laughed out loud, he shushed me but couldn't help but smile. A slow song came on and Garret let go of my hand and placed his on my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck and I placed my head on his shoulder. We swayed back and forth to the music. I looked over Garret's shoulder and saw Tom standing in the corner. Our eyes locked and I felt my heart break. Tom seemed to look at me with love and sadness.
"I love you Soña." I heard Garret say but I couldn't speak, I was to entranced with Tom.
"Soña?" Garret said pulling back away from me alittle so he could see me.
"Sorry Garret I was just thinking about something and then I thought I saw something."
He looked behind him and so did I but Tom was gone.
"Sonoña nothing is there, stop being paranoid, I won't let anything hurt you. Now tell me what you were thinking about my little paranoid angel." He said pulling me back to him and running his hands down my body to where they were on my hips.
"Us."
"What about us?" He asked as I laid my head back on his shoulder.
"How much I love you." I said looking up at him, knowing in my heart that I was lying to him. I loved Tom, not Garret.
The song ended and Garret led me back to our table, pushed my seat in when I sat down and then went to go get us a glass of pumpkin juice. My mother and father seemed to be thrilled that I was back with Garret. I would soon be a Nott, a pureblood and a very high class, powerful family.
"Sonoña I'm so pleased that you took Garret back, he's a wonderful man." My mother said just as Garret came back to the table.
I looked up at him knowing he had her my mother. "Yes he is mother. Garret is wonderful to me."
"Of course I am, I'm too afraid of what your father and brother might do to me if I hurt you." He said smiling and laughing. My father and mother laughed.
I looked at Garret and smiled. Then back to my mother. Her eyes were looking past me and she had a blank expression on her face. I turned around in my chair, feeling Garret's hand fall of my knee as I did so. Tom was standing by my chair.
"May I have this dance?" he asked, holding out his hand to me.
I looked back at Garret, he nodded, I turned back to Tom and placed my hand lightly in his. "Of course"
I stood up and took Tom's arm, just as we walked onto the floor the song changed from fast to slow. Tom placed his hands on my waist and I placed mine around his neck. I looked into his eyes the normal mask of hate and rage, which I had seen since we broke up, was gone. His eyes were now filled with love and compassion. I had seen this look once before, the day on the balcony after Tom had talked to Marie.
"Sonoña you look beautiful tonight."
"Thank you my lord." I said still looking at his eyes.
"Please, Tom will do when we are alone."
"Alone, Tom I told you to forget about me."
"I can't Sonoña, I love you." He said looking down at me.
I dropped my hands from his neck and broke away from him. "No you don't, you don't know how to love." I said and walked away.
I walked out into the gardens that were outside the great hall and sat on a bench a ways down the path of the garden where no one could see me. Tom had brought me here one night while we were patrolling the halls; I had been wrapped in his arms as we watched the stars.
I heard footsteps and looked up to see Tom.
"I thought I might find you here." He said. "I told Garret to let me handle this that I had caused it, he's worried about you, you know."
"Garret is always worried about me, I think it's part of how he grew up with me. He's always worried." He was still standing up. "Tom sit down, please don't just stand there."
He came and sat beside me. He stared straight ahead at a large rose bush. "I came here on Christmas and just sat here. Wondering what we did wrong. I came to the conclusion I did everything wrong. I don't normally come to that conclusion. I'm sorry Sonoña I really am."
I remained silent; I couldn't find words to speak. "Sonoña I've tried to forget you. You asked me to promise you and I've tried but I don't think I can. I love you Sonoña I really do. I messed up and I'm sorry. I put you in danger and I'm sorry and I broke the promise I made to you because I can't forget you."
I turned to Tom. He looked at me. I stared into his eyes and I knew I was safe, with someone I could really see myself with. Garret was like my security blanket; he was there to provide for me and keep me in the life I had always known, a life of wealth. But Tom was who I loved, with Tom I didn't care about everything else, about material things. I placed my hand on his cheek and leaned into him and kissed his lips. He deepened the kiss and pulled me closer to him. I pulled away and looked down at the ground and then stood up. Tom stood up with me.
"Sonoña…"
I raised my hand. "Tom we can't do this. You and me will never work, I'm engaged Tom, I'm going to be married and you will one day too. This is my path Tom, this is my life. Garret is my choice. But I will always love you and I will never forget you." I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his lips once more. Then I walked back into the great hall, my fingers intertwined together in front of me against my stomach.
Garret quickly walked up to me and took my hands in his. "Sonoña are you ok?"
"Yes Garret I'm fine, Tom just said something that upset me but it's all been set straight and everything is alright now." He nodded.
"Are you coming home with me tonight. My parents have moved out of the manor." He asked as we walked back to our table, everyone was headed back to there own tables, as Professor Dippet was about to speak.
"Of course Garret. We just need to go to the Malfoy Manor so I can gather the rest of my things." I said.
We sat down and turned to face Professor Dippet. "The school year has flown by. The students who have graduated today are headed out into the world tonight to start their own lives. To make their dreams come true. Tonight they go into the world on their own. Good luck to the class of 1946." He said and everyone started clapping. He stepped off the podium and slowly people started to leave Hogwarts.
I went with Fedonia up to the Head's room to send my trunk to the Nott Manor.
"Your mother has already sent out the invitations to the wedding. She is so excited. A summer wedding will be wonderful. Do you have a dress yet?" She asked as we walked up the stairs.
"No, I haven't found the time to go yet. I'll go sometime next week." My mother wants to do everything but she's letting me pick out my dress and hairstyle, she just has to be there to give everything the ok." I said as we reached the portrait.
Fedonia's eyes went wide. "Merlin, that looks just like you and the Dark Lord." She said barely above a whisper.
"It doesn't mean anything, let's just go get my stuff, I'm ready to go home." I said the password and we walked inside and then to my room.
Fedonia turned her nose up in disgust. "Way to much red and gold for my taste. I'm so sorry you weren't a Slytherin, it would have suited you much better." She said and she took out her wand and began waving it around and muttering spells, shrinking things and putting them into a box she had conjured out of thin air.
'You don't know how wrong you are, I'm not a Slytherin at all.' I thought as I began to copy Fedonia and pack my clothes up and very discreetly placing the necklace Tom had given me in the box along with the picture of me and my friends. I placed an old cloak over them.
After we had packed everything and sent it to the Nott Manor we went back down to the entrance of the school. Our family was still there. "I'll have the house elves pack your things and send them to Garret's." my mother said.
Garret took my arm and we said goodbye to everyone and we apparated in front of the manor.
Garret tapped his wand to the door handle three times and said alohamora. The door swung open and we walked in. With another wave of his wand the grand chandelier that hung in the foyer came to life, along with the smaller one at the top of the grand staircase. I knew the Nott Manor very well, but somehow it looked different.
"Mother remodeled the house for us. She took a lot of the old furniture and bought new things for us." Garret said sensing my curiosity.
I nodded looking around me. I stood in front of the door taking everything in. The foyer was a beautiful cream color with gold accents. A creamy tile that had flecks of gold in it covered the floor. It was a large foyer that was wonderful for parties.
To my right was a single door that led to Mr. Nott's, now Garret's, study and library. The room was a dark burgundy with dark cherry wood bookcases and a matching desk and chair. A large dark brown leather couch sat against the wall beside the desk. I walked back out of the library and stood where I had been.
To my left was an opening that led to the large dining room I could see that the dinning room walls were now covered in a red and blue floral wall paper but the old wooden floor, a large table and chairs were the only furniture in the room. The chairs had wooden backs with a red and blue patterned chair cushion.
Beside the dinning room was another opening that led to the sitting room. It was adorned in dark green walls and a golden carpet. The couch and chairs in the room where a dark green suede. The dinning room and sitting room had many magnificent floor to ceiling windows. The sitting room though had a french door that led to the patio and then out the gardens and a pathway that led out to the back of the house where the horse stables and other gardens and a small pond were.
The large staircase with cherry wood railing led up to a landing that broke off to the left and right with smaller staircases that led to the east and west wings of the house.
A door on the left side at the bottom of the staircase led to the kitchens, the door on the right led to the basement. A place I didn't dare go. Garret and I walked up the stairs and went to the left. The hallway ended abruptly after the railing ended. Garret opened the door to reveal a beautiful light blue sitting room with oak wood furniture and gold fabric. "Mother wanted silver but I insisted on gold, for you Soña." He said wrapping his arms around me from behind.
"Garret it's beautiful. I love it." I said leaning against him.
He let me go and opened the door in front of us. "After you my lady." He said and I laughed smacking his shoulder playfully.
"Oh Garret stop sucking up to me." I said laughing and went into the bedroom.
It was green and silver, naturally. The bed was a light oak with a green duvet cover and silver pillows. A silver chaise lounge was set between the bed and the french doors that led out onto the balcony. A green blanket was thrown over the arm of the chair. A dresser and desk were against the wall were we had just come in. Two matching oak nightstands were on either side of the table. On the left wall were two doors. One was my closet and another was Garret's.
"Open it." Garret said as he sat on the bed.
I opened the door to reveal a walk in closet already almost filled with dresses, skirt, pants, cloaks, shoes, and accessories. "Garret this is too much." I said closing the door and walking to him.
"Nothing is too much for you Soña. I love you." He lifted my hands and kissed them, then let them hang in front of me but he still had them in his hands. "I'll have the house elves unpack your things." He snapped his fingers and an elf appeared.
"Dimpy please unpack Sonoña things, they are in that box over there. You will also let the other house elves know that they must do as Sonoña says she will be a Nott soon."
"Yes, master." The house elf said and then turned to my box.
"Um Dimpy." I said.
"Yes Mistress Sonoña?" She said barely above a whisper, thinking she had done something wrong.
"Please only unpack my clothes. I'd like to go through the rest of my things myself." I said sweetly.
She nodded and then proceeded to unshrink my clothes and place them in my closet.
I noticed the door beside the nightstand and went and opened it. It led to the bathroom. It was decorated very closely to the foyer, the main colors being gold and cream. A large tub was in the center with a shower to the left and two sinks to the right and cabinets and shelves in front of the door. A large mirror was in front of the sinks. I walked over to them and unclipped my hair from its half up look. I saw Garret come in and shut the door.
"You treat the house elves to nicely Soña." He said coming up beside me and running and hand through my hair.
"Garret, let's not get into this, some things about me will never change and that is one of them. I'm not going to argue with you over it." I turned to him.
He raised his hands in the air. "Ok Soña, ok. I love you." He said. "Why don't we just go relax, or you can take a warm bubble bath. Whatever you want to do."
"Garret, quit sucking up to me." I said laughing.
"Well maybe I want to be with you tonight."
"Garret, we can't we aren't married yet." I said stepping out of the bathroom and into my closet searching for a nightgown.
"Sonoña, we have come so close so many times over the years. It's one night, we'll do the contraceptive spell, and you won't get pregnant. I love you Soña. I want to show you in more than my words and buying you things. I want to show you this way."
He said and grabbed a slinky silver silk nightgown and handed it to me. "Please Soña.." He gave me his best puppy eyes and I gave in.
"Oh alright Garret." I said. Garret picked me up and kicked the closet door shut and placed me on the bed.
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Two hours later we were under the covers and I had put the silver gown on and Garret had on a pair of silk green pajama pants. Garret had placed our clothes in a hamper in the bathroom via his wand.
I had my head on Garret's chest and my hand was beside it. He had his arm around my shoulders holding me against him. I closed me eyes and mumbled a soft "I love you."
"I love you too Soña." He kissed my head and I fell asleep a little while later.
0000
When I woke up the bedroom was cold and quiet. I lifted my head up and looked for Garret, he wasn't in the room. I slid out of the bed and went into the bathroom. He wasn't there either. I fumbled around in the cabinets until I found a hair clip and pulled my hair up off my neck. I then walked out of the bedroom and through the sitting room and into the hallway. I walked downstairs and didn't see or hear Garret. I felt alone and bored so I went to Garret's study to find a book. My bare feet didn't make a sound as I walked across the cold marble floor, my nightgown swishing around my ankles.
I opened the door the study and noticed a door where a small bookcase had been. I slowly looked around for Garret but didn't see him. I walked forward and placed my hand on the doorknob. It was cold and hard which reassured me that I wasn't dreaming. I turned the knob and pushed the door open. The room was even colder than the rest of the house. I walked forward into the dimly lit room. Rows of shelving went up to the ceiling with what seemed to be dark magical object and spell books and other things that I didn't want to know about.
I hand grabbed my shoulder and I felt an arm wrap around my waist. I screamed. The person lifted me off the ground and carried me back into the study. The person turned me around and placed a hand on my mouth. It was Garret. His eyes were filled with rage.
"Never, never go into that room ever! Understood!" I nodded. He waved his wand and the door closed and the bookcase reappeared in front of it. "Get out of here." Garret said.
Scared, I turned and left the room, once out of the door it slammed behind me. I ran up the stairs and to my room. I flung myself onto the chaise lounge and wrapped myself in the green blanket. My nightgown hung over the side elegantly. It would have been a pretty picture had I not been scared out of my mind. Garret had never acted that way to me before. He had never grabbed me and pulled me away from something, without making sure he wasn't hurting me. Tears slowly fell down my face from fear and shock. I drew my legs up to my chest and cried harder. Garret had hurt me and it scared me. I thought I was safe with Garret, I never thought he would hurt me. He hadn't even placed a spell on me and he had hurt me.
I heard the door open but paid no attention to it. The lounge dipped down where I assumed Garret now sat. I felt his hand run across my back.
"Soña?" He said. I didn't say anything but felt him get off the chaise. I buried my head into the pillow. "Soña please look at me."
"Why should I Garret? Are you going to drag me someplace else."
"Sonoña overreacted."
I rolled over on my side and faced him, he was kneeling in front of me. "Overreacted? Garret you grabbed me and practically dragged me out of that room and then told me to get out of your study without an explanation for what I had done wrong. If I wasn't suppose to be in there don't leave the door visible." I swung my legs over the side and stood up and tried to walk off but Garret wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back down on the chaise, gently this time.
"Sonoña I'm sorry. What I did was wrong and I should have explained that to you. But had something fallen or you touched something Soña you could have been seriously hurt in that room. You could have been killed. Soña I know you know what is in there and I know that you know how to use most of the things in there but Soña some of them your father hasn't even heard of. I just don't want you to get hurt."
"That really doesn't make up for anything Garret." I stood up and walked out of the bedroom.
"Soña, don't walk away from me I want to fix this." He said coming through the door.
I opened the door that led into the hall and kept walking. Garret ran to catch up. "Soña!"
"No! Garret, I don't want to fix anything right now!" I said as he wrapped his arms around me, I turned in his arms and tried to get loose. Someone cleared their voice, when I looked up I stopped in my tracks.
"Are we interrupting something?" Mrs. Nott asked from where she stood along with her husband and my parents, Garret's friends and my brother and sister in law.
I looked down at my nightgown, and blushed, Garret pulled me behind him. I then noticed he was fully dressed.
"If you could just give us a minute. We will be down in just a little while, please make yourself at home. The sitting room is that way." Garret pointed to the sitting room and then placed his hand on my back and we walked back into the study.
" Merlin Garret you could have told me they were coming. Look at what I'm dressed in. They probably think we were talking about sex or something!" I said pacing the sitting room outside our bedroom. Garret grabbed my hand and pulled me to a chair and he sat down in it and then sat me on his leg.
"Soña… I came back to get you to apologize and to tell you that we had company coming over and you needed to change." He paused and looked me up and down. "So I suggest you do that."
I walked into my closet and found a light blue sundress and slipped it on. I found a pair of white high-heeled sandals and put them on and then fixed my hair with a wave of my wand. I walked back out to Garret. Garret was in khakis and a long sleeved black shirt.
"Much better. Not that I didn't like what you had on previously but this is better for company." He said.
I laughed and walked out of the room, Garret following close behind.
"So why is everyone here?" I whispered at the top of the stairs.
"Wedding plans. Fedonia and our mothers are also taking you dress shopping today." He whispered back.
"Oh goody." I said.
Garret grabbed me. "Be nice."
"And what exactly are you going to be doing oh great one." I said sarcastically.
"Staying here with some friends. While you entertain yourself by picking out dresses."
"Once again… goody."
"Soña."
"Oh I'll be nice. I promise." I said as we walked into the sitting room.
"Sonoña I assume Garret has told you we are going shopping so we better get going. I must say you have on a much better outfit than before. Save that type of thing for the bedroom Sonoña." My mother said.
I blushed and Garret squeezed my hand. I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed Garret's cheek and then said goodbye. My mother, Mrs. Nott, Fedonia, and me all chose a place to go and then apparated to Diagon Alley.