Chapter 10

Hogan rubbed the back of his neck seeing his team standing in the doorway staring at him with concerned faces. From their expressions he knew they had heard him shouting. He looked at them apologetically as Terry switched on the desk lamp illuminating the room.

"Is everything all right in here, Colonel?" asked Kinch. His eyes shifted momentarily to Carpenter and back to Hogan. Terry sat silently still trying to wrap his brain around what had happened.

"Yeah, everything's fine, Kinch. I'm sorry I woke you guys," Hogan said. "I only have a headache and you know how I get when I have one."

"Yes, sir," Kinch replied worriedly. "You want one of us to get Wilson? He can give you something to help."

"That's okay. I've got aspirin in my closet and I took two. I'm sure I'll be fine come morning." He smiled at the men. "Why don't you guys go back to bed? I'll be fine after a little sleep and the aspirin. I promise."

"As long as nothing's wrong, sir. G'night, Gov'nor." Newkirk opened the door and the others followed him out of the room with LeBeau being the last closing the door behind him.

As the door closed, Hogan let out a deep breath bending his head backward and looking up at the ceiling with both hands on his narrow hips. Standing up, he turned to his godson who still stared at him with a worried expression. The smiling officer approached the young man and knelt down in front of him.

"I really am sorry I yelled at you," Hogan apologized. "I didn't mean to raise my voice. I worry about everything and sometimes don't get enough sleep, and develop a headache. The guys will tell you when I do I can sometimes be a real bastard."

But Terry was not placated. "Rob, what's going on with you? You're starting to scare me."

"I don't mean to worry you. Nothing's going on with me. I'm telling you the absolute truth."

"Rob, I…I want to believe you. I do. But you're different somehow and I can't put my finger on exactly what the problem is. If you're worrying about me, don't. Nothing's gonna happen to me here because nobody's gonna find out about our relationship. The mission is over and went well from what you told me, so you have no reason not to be able to get a good night's sleep. But if you're still having a hard time dealing with what the Gestapo did to you before you came here, you can talk to me and I promise whatever you tell me will stay between us. You always taught me not to bottle up my feelings because in the end it does no good. So why won't you talk to me?"

Hogan saw the pain in the young man's green eyes. "Because there's nothing to discuss. I'm just tired. Please don't worry about me. I'll be fine come morning."

Terry sighed, frustrated, knowing he wasn't going to get anything out of Hogan when he didn't want to talk. So he believed it would be better to let it go for now.

"If you say so." Terry smiled sadly. "But perhaps I should let you get some sleep. You had a busy day and night for an old guy."

Hogan smirked. "Insubordination will get you nowhere, Lieutenant," he joked getting to his feet. "Now, turn out the light and let's get some sleep." He climbed back up on the top bunk and stretched out on his side. Terry, meanwhile, switched off the lamp and was heard settling down on the lower bunk by the creaking of the bed frame.

"'Night, Rob."

"'Night." Soon, Carpenter's even breathing told Hogan the young man was asleep; but he remained awake and staring into space. He kept seeing the eyes; sightless eyes frozen forever in a sightless stare. Eyes which would forever haunt him. Exhausted, the memories returned.

(Flashback):

LeBeau let loose a string of French expletives as he sucked on his thumb for the umpteenth time after pricking it with a sewing needle. It was times like this he was glad he was now in the tunnels and not the barracks. In frustration, he slammed the garment down on the table top, leaned forward folding his arms on the table, and rested his chin on his arms. Tears began building. He was so conflicted right now he could not think.

Following breakfast earlier, Hogan had called him into his private quarters. The Corporal, realizing all eyes in the barracks were on him, slowly got up and followed the officer into the small room and waited until he closed the door. He stood at attention the entire time not watching Hogan walk around the smaller man and sit down on the edge of his desk. Even with the Colonel right in front of him, LeBeau refused to meet his eyes.

Hogan shook his head sadly, looking at the man he had called a friend since his arrival in Stalag 13 and could not believe they had reached this point where they weren't even speaking to each other.

"LeBeau, I know right now I am the last person you want to see or speak with, but this has gone on long enough. I was hoping by now after you had time to cool down and think, things would be different. I even hoped after I saw you talking with Kinch and Newkirk. But sad to say nothing's changed seeing how even now you can't look at me. So, considering the tension in the barracks and within the unit, I need to ask you again if you still want to move to a different barracks?"

"Oui. It is for the best," LeBeau spoke coldly not looking at his commanding officer. Inwardly though, the Frenchman wanted to cry out 'No!' at Hogan's offer to move him to another barracks. He had realized Hogan was not responsible for what happened at the bridge, never had been. LeBeau had simply been as upset as the others and lashed out at the one man he respected more than any officer he had ever known. If he had been thinking clearly he would have seen that. The only things Hogan was guilty of was that he cared too much about the men under his command, and of making sure his men were safe and happy regardless of the personal cost to himself. But it was his own stubbornness and pride which wouldn't let him apologize.

"Then I'll speak with Klink as soon as I find out to which barracks I can move you." Hogan sighed wearily. "Of course Klink's going to want an explanation. Is there anything in particular you want me to tell him?"

"Tell him whatever you want. I do not care."

All Hogan could do was shake his head. "LeBeau, I hate to lose you and see you leave. You have been a good teammate and friend. And as soon as I can find somebody to replace you, I will release you from the unit. This way you won't need to work with me. Is that acceptable to you?"

LeBeau looked at Hogan with anger in his eyes and let out a deep breath. His eyes were also bright with unshed tears. "For what it's worth, Colonel, your apology is as you Americans say, too little too late. But in reality he wanted to scream 'apology accepted, mon Colonel!' But again his pride and stubbornness got in the way.

"You are dismissed, Corporal," Hogan said sadly. "Again Louie, I am sorry."

In a huff, LeBeau turned and yanked open the door of Hogan's quarters and stormed out, slamming the door so hard behind him it nearly came off its hinges. The Frenchman pushed angrily past Carter, Newkirk and Kinch who confronted him to find out what happened, and hit the hidden mechanism on the double bunk. He waited for the lower bunk to rise.

"Louie, what happened between you and the Gov'nor?"

LeBeau looked around the barracks. "Ask the Colonel. I will be leaving the team as soon as he can find a suitable replacement. Also, I am leaving the barracks. At least this way I won't see Colonel Hogan daily." With the bunk rattling upward behind him, he turned and disappeared down the ladder without a further word to anyone.

Exchanging worried looks and feeling their 'family' was falling apart, the three men hurried to Hogan's quarters to speak with the officer. They found him standing in front of the open window in his quarters with arms folded across his chest, staring out into the compound.

"Colonel, is it true?" asked a wide-eyed Carter.

"You and Louie are both bloody crackers…sir." Hogan glared at Newkirk before turning back to the window,

"Colonel, we can't lose LeBeau," Kinch added. "We don't have anybody in camp who can do what he can."

"Don't you think I know that?" Hogan hissed with brown eyes flashing turning his head toward the men. "But I don't know what else to do. I have tried everything, and I do mean everything, to settle the issue between LeBeau and I but he won't even meet me half-way. He can't even look me in the face much less be in the same room with me. In addition, he's made it quite clear he wants to move to another barracks so he doesn't need to see me every day. And as much as I hate to lose him, I'm left with no choice but to grant his asking for reassignment to a different barracks. As far as the unit is concerned, we will make do somehow until we can get a suitable replacement."

"But Colonel…" Carter began.

Hogan held up a hand stopping him. "Believe me, Carter. This isn't a decision I make lightly, nor do I like it. But LeBeau's left me no choice. There's no other way to relieve the tension in our own barracks. So unless somebody can think of something I haven't, this is the best solution." Hogan turned back to the open window. "Now if you gentlemen will excuse me, I want to be alone."

"Yes, sir," Newkirk replied sadly. He followed Kinch and Carter into the common room, closing the door behind him. Outside the closed door of the smaller room, Newkirk gestured with his head for the others to follow him as he walked to the other side of the room and stopped beside the double bunk beds he and Carter used.

"Mates, we need to do something and quick, or we're gonna lose our little mate permanently."

"I'm with you," Carter agreed. "I mean, I've never seen Colonel Hogan looking so defeated."

Kinch exhaled. "Yeah, well, what happened when we blew that bridge jointly with LeBeau's outburst and continued anger at him has perhaps broken something inside the Colonel. But you're right. The tension between them is so thick you can cut it with a knife. We need to do something and fast. But what can we do?"

Newkirk bit his lower lip. "Gents, what we have here is a complete failure to communicate."

Kinch's eyes narrowed. "What are you getting at?"

The Englander rested the fingers of one hand against Kinch's chest. "Mate, I know LeBeau longer than either of you two. His stubbornness and French pride is what's stopping him from making up with the Gov'nor. Louie can be right stubborn as a horse's arse when he wants. And the Gov'nor believes he's done everything within reason to settle this ruddy thing, and he has. So it's up to us to do something seeing as we have the most to lose."

Kinch's face suddenly brightened as he believed he knew what the Englander had in mind.

"So all we need to do is get them to talk to each other, even if they argue."

Carter remained confused. "How are we gonna do that for Pete's sake? They can't even be in the same room or look at each other without LeBeau getting mad and walking out."

Newkirk smirked. "You leave that to me. Andrew, find me a long piece of rope. Kinch, you come with me. I got an idea, mates. Let's just hope it works."

(End of Flashback)

Morning came too soon for Hogan who, laying on his back, draped an arm across his forehead, sighing. His head, despite taking the aspirin the night before, was pounding mercilessly. He had not slept at all the night before and he could feel the effects. He was exhausted. Hearing the bed frame creaking, he knew his godson was getting up and he would have to do the same. Slowly, Hogan sat up on his bunk and swung his legs over the edge. He hesitated for a few moments to gather himself before jumping down to the floor. Terry was staring hard at him.

"Rob? Are you all right? You don't look so hot. In fact, you look worse than last night. Headache still bothering you?"

Hogan rubbed his forehead. Even though he didn't have a mirror at the moment, he imagined he looked like hell right now. "Yeah. A bit." He chuckled. "Guess I'm not my usual handsome self?"

"Not if you take into account those shadows under your eyes," Terry said worriedly. After breakfast you should get the camp medic to look at you. He might have something stronger than aspirin he could give you."

"I don't need Wilson," Hogan assured him. "I'm sure it'll go away on its own. I do have aspirin to take. Besides, Wilson has nothing stronger, and whatever else he might be able to give me should be held for the men who really need it in an emergency. A headache doesn't qualify as one."

"Rob, you said last night you would feel better in the morning after you took the aspirin. Well, it's morning and you aren't. If I sound like a mother hen, I'm sorry."

Hogan laughed despite the pain in his head the effort caused. "You should be as that's LeBeau's job anyway." His face became serious. "I don't want you to mention anything to the men no matter what. I don't need them worrying about me when they should be concentrating on other things."

"What other things?" Carpenter asked with raised eyebrows. "There aren't any assignments from London at the moment."

"That's just it, Terry. We could get an assignment at any moment, and I'd need the men focused and able to concentrate on the assignment. They won't be able to do that if they're completely focused on taking care of me. So let's keep this between us. Besides, I'm sure once I get you and the men who came with you back to London my headache will go away."

Carpenter sighed. "I don't like it but I'll stay quiet for now. Satisfied?"

Hogan smiled. "Yes. Now let's get ready for roll call before Schultz graces us with his imitation of a German rooster."

Roll call came and as expected, Klink babbled on about the complete destruction of the Germans new ball-bearing plant in Schweinfurt by saboteurs. As Klink's speech dragged on and on, a small smile appeared on the faces of Hogan and his men. Angered when he saw the smirk on the face of the Senior POW officer, the Kommandant stomped over to Hogan and stood in front of the American.

"You find this funny, Colonel Hogan?" Kink shook his fist at the American.

"No, sir. I thought that was thunder I heard early this morning. I mean, our meteorologist, Sergeant McMann, never mentioned anything about thunderstorms with possible downpours of ball-bearings."(1)

"Harrumph!" Klink hissed before turning and storming away. He didn't see the smirk on Hogan's face.

Back inside the barracks, LeBeau began preparing breakfast. Hogan, Carpenter, Kinch, Carter and Newkirk were all sitting at the table drinking freshly made hot coffee.

Kinch, Carter and Newkirk gave subtle looks at their commanding officer which did not go unnoticed by Hogan or Carpenter.

"If one of you three has anything to say now would be the time," Hogan remarked without looking at the trio.

Kinch glanced at Carter and Newkirk for a moment. "We were only wondering how you were feeling this morning, Colonel?"

"I feel fine," Hogan lied. "LeBeau, I'm starving. How long before breakfast is ready?"

"Not for an hour at least, mon Colonel. I can perhaps fix you a sandwich if you cannot wait." The Frenchman was inwardly glad the Colonel's appetite was back. "I mean, I understand seeing as you did not eat much at lunch or dinner. You must be ravenous."

"I am. And yes I will take a sandwich if you don't mind." A few minutes later, LeBeau placed a saucer with a sandwich in front of Hogan who devoured it as it he hadn't eaten in days. He noticed the men looking at him. "What? I was hungry."

"Nothing, Gov'nor, nothing. It's just good your appetite is back again. You haven't been eating much of late. What I mean is, sometimes you do and sometimes you don't."

"So now you're stalking me, Newkirk?"

"No, sir. It's just…"

"I don't need a damn babysitter watching my every move!" Hogan hissed. He wished he could take back the angry words before they left his mouth but it was too late. The hurt on Newkirk's face and the stunned expressions of the others told Hogan he had screwed up big time.

(1) Sergeant McMann is the meteorologist from What Time Does the Balloon Go Up?, Season 3.