"Want to go for a walk?" He asks her, hovering in the doorway of the living room at Johanna's place. "It's beautiful outside, doesn't even feel like winter at all."

"Sure. Just let me get this little lady clean and we can go."

They'd been back from Bridgeport for just over two weeks now. Christmas had come and gone and they made a huge fuss out of the day for their daughter who literally had no idea what was going on. Effie and Haymitch hosted dinner and it was a quiet affair with just their family. Lila was spoilt with an abundance of gifts and lots of attention.

Katniss returned to Peeta's house that evening and stayed the night, slipping in beside him in bed and they held each other, recalling past Christmas' and their future Christmas'. They even discussed the phone calls he received from all of his family, Nathan included.

They were on the path to making amends. There was still a sour spot there, despite the reaching out Peeta had done, Nathan especially was still hesitant and learning to accept his brother back into his life. Inviting them to the wedding was a big step but there were still a few hurdles to cross before there were no hurt or bad feelings.

His mother though had been a bit more welcoming and sent them all a Christmas gift, especially for her granddaughter who she'd taken to so well. She had asked to be more involved and Peeta promised her he wouldn't deny her his granddaughter.

The night before, they had just celebrated New Years Eve the night before and Johanna was still upstairs nursing a hangover. She had kicked her midnight kiss out early this morning and Katniss had caught him sneaking out of the house while Lila and her sat in the living room together. Peeta ran into him as he arrived at the house for breakfast and Katniss and Peeta laughed about how embarrassed the poor guy looked.

They'd had a pretty lazy day so far. Peeta cooked them all breakfast, helped Katniss clean the house while Lila napped and then they ate a light lunch while they watched TV. It was these lazy days that meant so much to them.

She fastens Lila into the stroller and Peeta takes the lead, pushing their daughter. Katniss links her arm through his and they walk slowly throughout the neighbourhood.

"What time did Johanna end up going to bed?" He asks her.

"I went to bed when you left at 12:30. Lila had a restless night, up every couple of hours. I think it was 3am by the time Johanna finally called it a night and kicked the rest of the people out. Johanna didn't end up going to bed until 4."

"Really?"

"Her and her date did it on the couch for a while." She grimaces.

"Which one? Please not be the one we were sitting on today?"

"I don't know, I wish I did." She tells him laughing. "I'm really just hoping they did it on the floor."

"Why couldn't they walk the few steps and actually utilise her bed?" He asks.

"You know what alcohol does to horny people, they do it wherever the hell they can and want to. They're incoherent they don't know what they're doing half the time."

"Jo was pretty wasted by the time I left."

"She was wasted before everyone showed up." She corrects him. "But she still managed to out drink everyone else."

He smiles and they slow as they near the road, looking both ways before they cross.

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Not really. I just had hour bursts, waking when Lila was stirring and feeding her or changing her before I got her back down again. She spent a lot of time on the boob last night."

"It's her comfort. She was such a good girl last night though."

"She was. She's such a good girl, I can't fault her on her restlessness last night."

"You know you could have stayed back and slept and I could have taken her." He tells her.

"I like the idea of fresh air and not missing out on any moments with you."

He smiles at her and they continue on, passing children who ride their bikes and play games of tag on the footpaths. The children smile at them as they walk on, even smiling at Lila. Some stop them to talk to Lila who gurgles away to them all.

They enter the park and find a bench to sit down on with hot chocolate and a giant cookie to share. Lila sleeps in the stroller and her parents watch the world pass by.

"Katniss, I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?"

"This might be a bit forward but it seems like the next best step for us." He begins. "I was wondering if you might consider moving back in with me? You're already spending so much time at the house, leaving late at night or staying the night? I thought it might be nice to finally be under the same roof again. That way I can be there all the time and we can both now be there for Lila. I feel like I'm missing so much when we're not together and I don't want to miss another moment in Lila's life."

She smiles at him.

"And it might help us in mending our relationship. At the moment I don't think we know where we stand and this might help us." He says. "And I know Johanna is ready to have her house back." He chuckles. "So what do you say?"

She looks at her daughter for a few moments and thinks.

It couldn't hurt moving back with him. She was ready to mend everything, to reacquaint themselves again and finally work on being a family. It'd take some work but she was ready to put in the effort.

"So, how would this work?" She asks.

He smiles. She had said the exact same thing to him back in college when he asked if she wanted to move in with him and two others. She had asked the same thing when they graduated college and found a studio apartment right in the city that they moved into for the first 18 months of their working lives while they saved for their dream home. She then asked him the same thing when they went house hunting and found their dream home.

The next day they move the few belongings over to his house, vacating Johanna's life and giving her back her space and privacy again. She told Katniss it was no hassles, that she didn't mind them living with them but Katniss could sense somewhere that she wouldn't mind the house back to herself again.

"I'll miss having you both here." Johanna tells Katniss as she straps Lila into her car seat.

"We'll miss you too." She tells her. "But we're literally right around the corner and you'll now enjoy the peace and quiet of not having a baby."

"I didn't actually mind having a baby in the house. It was nice to wake up to those smiles and have those baby cuddles."

"You can come and visit whenever you want." Katniss reminds her. "And you can now return to your sex life."

Johanna smiles and embraces her friend. "Make this work Katniss."

"I will."

Johanna lets her go and smiles before moving to Lila, leaning down to kiss the baby softly on the cheek.

"Bye Miss Lila. Be a good girl and I'll see you round. I might come and visit tomorrow after work."

"We'd like that, won't we miss Lila?"

Lila gurgles, kicks her legs and smiles.

"Bye beautiful, go be with your daddy."

Katniss picks up the car seat off the table and smiles at her friend. "Thanks for everything these past 6 weeks, I really appreciate it."

She nods. "If it doesn't work you'll always have a place here, both of you will."

Katniss smiles, silently thanking her friend before she picks up her handbag.

Johanna follows the mother and daughter to the car and waves them off.

"Come on Missy, we're going home."

Peeta meets them on the doorstep, he had returned early to bring all of their gear to the house. There wasn't a lot, most of it back with Madge in New York but it would be enough to get them by for a couple of months.

Katniss carries the car seat inside, Lila smiling as she sees her daddy.

"Welcome home my girls."

The bedroom door opens slowly and she looks up to see Peeta peaking into the room.

He smiles at her from across the room, seeing that he has been sprung and steps into the room with Lila and a mug in his hand.

"I'm not very discrete am I?" He laughs, setting the mug of tea down on the bedside and handing over his daughter who squirms to be with her mother.

"No." She replies, laughing. "But I was awake anyway."

She sits up, letting Lila sit on her lap and bounce slightly.

She was now 8 months old and a bundle of energy. Thriving in all of her development and milestones. She was finding the strength in her legs to stand longer and preferred to stand than sit.

Unless she was being fed.

She loved her food and they found it as a means of getting her settled or quiet.

It had been two weeks since they moved back into the house officially with Peeta.

It felt right.

Peeta comes and sits beside her on the bed and they admire their daughter who is grinning from ear to ear.

The house was not yet set up with all of their things but that didn't bother Katniss. They both fit into the house, filling the space they were destined to fill and were starting to play the role of a family.

He offered to pull all the nursery items from the attic but she told him it was fine. Lila could remain in the portable cot and they didn't really need the change table or anything else. They had set Lila up in their bedroom and had her living out of a suitcase. Katniss had grown use to her daughter being in her bedroom and Peeta let Katniss continue this routine as they found Lila slept better just being in their room.

They had trialled a night apart but both mother and daughter were in tears and at midnight Peeta dragged the cot back into their bedroom and they had a peaceful nights sleep.

After that night, they accepted Lila staying with them and she was now sleeping right through the night. 10 to 11 hours straight.

Peeta was back to work, working only part time hours and Katniss was working from home, finding that groove and routine she was beginning to form before she came back to Boston. Her flexible hours and job catered to Lila's routine and she felt blessed from the support she received from everyone.

And the two of them found themselves in an easy routine. He'd leave for work early. She'd look after Lila and casually work. He'd come home early, take over looking after Lila while giving Katniss the chance to answer emails and work while he prepared dinner and spent time with his daughter.

Together they'd get Lila fed and ready for bed, taking turns reading her stories and into her pyjamas. Katniss would nurse her daughter while Peeta did a bit of work and then Katniss would join him downstairs.

They'd forgo work and spend those few hours they had alone, discussing their days, watching a movie or television show and talking before they'd head to bed.

It was like the times before.

"Are you sure you'll be right today?" She asks him. Lila has demanded a feed and Katniss has her situated across her lap feeding.

"We'll be fine. We've got a fridge full of breast milk, a whole lot of diapers, wipes and if worse comes to worse I've got Google to help me." She smiles at him. "Besides, you're only twenty minutes away."

"I'm hoping it doesn't go too late."

"Do you have any idea what the meeting could be about?"

"No idea. Work related apparently. A few of the head bosses requested to meet with me once they found out I'd be in attendance today."

"Okay." He says and smiles. "Would my ladies like some breakfast?"

"Yes please."

She follows him downstairs once Lila has finished nursing. Peeta has breakfast cooking and two cups of tea made. Katniss places Lila into the booster seat, strapping her in before she takes her seat at the breakfast bench, sipping her tea, listening to the music and reading the newspaper.

Peeta sets a plate in front of her and sits in front of her with his own.

"You need a hearty breakfast if you've got workshops to run." He tells her with a smile. He feeds Lila her breakfast while he eats his own.

"Smells good." She tells him and turns the page of the newspaper. She smiles at Lila before taking a bite of her omelette. "Madge asked me to add an entry to her blog."

"Yeah? Is there a theme?"

"No, she just wants me to be a guest entrant. She's been asking me for a while now to add an entry but I never wanted to or I was too scared to. Now I feel ready."

"Any idea what you're going to write about?"

"Not yet but I'm thinking about it."

She goes and showers and gets dressed, putting on clothes that aren't covered in spit up or milk. Clothes that don't have a smell about them or are her sweatpants. It feels good to be in business attire and actually do her hair.

She kisses Lila goodbye and meets Peeta in the hallway, kissing him softly goodbye.

"Call me if she's unsettled or anything happens."

"Relax, we'll be fine." He assures her. "Won't we Lila?" Lila smiles from her walker, reiterating her father's words. "See." He smiles.

She rolls her eyes and kisses him again. "Bye." She smiles and he pulls her back for another kiss.

"I'll text you every ten minutes."

"Hey, I haven't left her for a whole day." She tells him. "It's a big step."

"It is and you have to turn around and take that step, we'll be fine. Lila and I are a team." He tells her. "Go, we'll see you when you get home this afternoon and you can tell me all about your day of kicking butt."

She smiles and goes and kisses Lila again and then slips her jacket on.

"Move that arse of yours, get in your car and go to this meeting." He chuckles handing her her keys.

She smiles and says goodbye to them before getting in her car. She drives to Harvard and parks in the visitors' car park closets to where she was attending the day dedicated to those 2nd year journalism students. There'd be workshops, mentoring sessions and she had a few meetings scheduled with a few of the speakers and attendees. One of them, a respected journalist had requested he'd meet with her while other big bosses of media outlets also requested to meet with her. She was certain most of them were trying to recruit her as she was finally back in the business of fulltime writing since having Lila.

But she wasn't sure what she wanted. She was happy freelancing for magazines, newspapers and websites as it gave her the freedom and flexibility with Lila. She was on a good income and didn't want to think about a 9 to 5 job where she'd be paid probably less than what she was already earning. It'd be something she'd have to talk to Peeta about if she was asked.

Her phone beeps and she opens the text from Peeta as she enters the main building.

We're fine Mommy, Daddy is about to take me for a walk to the park.

Accompanying the text is a picture of her rugged up and strapped into her stroller with the widest smile on her face.

Kick butt today!

She smiles and locks her phone as a lady in a suit approaches her.

"Katniss Mellark?"

"Yes." Katniss answers.

"Welcome to Harvard University if you follow me, I'll take you into the auditorium where they're meeting first." She tells her. "Here's a timetable for the day and a map. You're scheduled meetings are noted to take place in a private study room in the library. Lunch will be served at 12:30 and if you'd like tea or coffee don't hesitate to ask." She says leading her through the main building and towards the auditorium. "Would you like a coffee now?"

"I'm fine thanks." She tells hers. "I haven't really had coffee since I was pregnant. More a tea drinker now but I'm fine."

"Great."

She's sat on the stage of the auditorium next to other respected journalists and looks out amongst the sea of college students. She's nervous to say the least but she remembers Peeta telling her she'll kill it and the nerves start to disappear.

University lectures speak to them all and one of the journalists, a veteran war journalist and now television personality. He captures the attention of them all for half an hour before they're sent off to their workshops. Katniss was undertaking an entertainment workshop for those interested in anything other than sport or current affairs. She had a small group of students, close to thirty and she stood before them in a lecture room.

Peeta had helped her present a presentation the days leading up, listened to her give the presentation and gave her feedback.

She had wished it was him giving the presentation and not her as he had a way of words better than she did.

But he reminded her that she had knowledge in this field, she'd been a journalist for quite a few years now and had enough experience to give a presentation. She was also wiser than all these students who haven't even stepped into the world of journalism.

She gives her presentation, capturing the attention of the students and really selling entertainment journalism. She's personal and tells them lots about her career so far interviewing musicians, bands and following them all on tours.

"I read the interview you did for Cinna." A student says once she's finished her presentation and has asked for questions or to open up a dialogue of discussion. "I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss." The boy says. "I was wondering, my lecturers say I'm too personal in my writing, that I put too much of me into them and that I should reconsider a career in storytelling. I was wondering what your thoughts are on making stories personal."

She smiles. "My husband had the same problem and he still does." She tells them. "But it's who he is, his that type of person who moves you with just a few words and his early pieces really moved me. He's the newspaper cartoonist and art critic. It might take a few years to find your footing and where you belong as a journalist. You'll learn to remove yourself from pieces but never lose your ability to put yourself into a piece. The best journalists can move a person with just a few hundred words. Remember that."

After lunch, a phone call with Peeta who assures her that Lila is still breathing and is fast asleep. She joins in with the other mentors and speakers, discussing their work life and anything else to make them seem better than the others.

Her first meeting begins with an LA based magazine owner. He's interested in her journalism work and offers her fulltime work with them out in LA, expanding into interviewing actors, models and musicians for a big name magazine. She's already free-lanced and had a couple of her interviews featured in the magazine and despite the experience, she didn't want to be tied down to just a magazine. She wanted the ability to freelance and be flexible. If she wasn't a mother she'd consider the paycheque and moving out to LA but with her family, any decision she made affected them all. He gave her the option to think about it as she was summoned to her next meeting.

It was the same thing, a New York based website director. A popular social media page that employed freelancing bloggers and journalists to report on the 'real issues'. It wouldn't require a move to New York but it was long hours of research, interviewing and a lesser paycheque for more work.

The third meeting was exactly the same as the others. A new location, this time overseas, less work hours and more pay. She thanked her and told her she'd get back to them.

She'd done this a few times in her life and Haymitch always taught her to be polite, ask for a couple of days to think about the offer, even if she knew she didn't want to take it and then politely decline the offer, thanking them for considering her and tell them she's not looking at what they're offering or it wouldn't work out at that present moment.

None of these offers jumped at her and she wasn't ready to relocated hers and Peeta's life just for her career. She had a family to think about and it was a two way street. If they both agreed to a scenery change and a new city then they'd do it but she wasn't ready to relocate to a new city. She was finally back home.

"Hey Katniss, we're all going for a drink if you'd like to come." One of the guests tells her.

"It's fine, I've got to get home anyway."

"Well it was nice meeting you."

"You too."

It was late afternoon by the time she finally managed to get away, stopping in for a few groceries on the way home.

As she steps into the house, it was quiet and dark. It was just after 5 and she wondered where Peeta and Lila both were.

She sets the groceries in the kitchen, takes off her coat and kicks off her shoes and goes on a search throughout the house.

Upstairs in their room is Peeta and Lila sound asleep. Lila across his chest, clutching his shirt in her little fist. Peeta has his arm wrapped protectively around her and they both look so comfortable and peaceful.

She slips in beside him as carefully as she can and kisses him on the cheek and then Lila on her nose before she settles in beside them, cuddling into Peeta's arm and letting him wrap his free arm around her body. He kisses her forehead and nuzzles his nose against her face.

They remain in silence for a few minutes before he speaks.

"How'd today go?"

"Good." She tells him softly, reaching out to stroke Lila's hand. "I got three job offers."

"Really?"

"Yeah but I'm not going to take them. It's not what I want."

"What do you want?"

She sighs and looks at Lila for a long while before turning in her husband's arms and looking at him.

"You and me together. Lila, you and I together as a family. I don't care about the money or the other benefits of the job, I just want to be where you two will be."

"If you really wanted a career change then I'll support you. You know that."

"But it shouldn't be just about me, it should be about you and what you want."

"I want you and Lila in my life and that's all I want. Nothing more, nothing less." He tells her. "I want you two to come home to of an afternoon. To spend Sunday mornings wrapped up in bed with, eating breakfast and soaking in as much time together as we can. If you wanted to move to Mars than I'll follow you. I don't care Katniss where we end up. Home is where your heart is. My heart is with you two."

Lila stirs, ceasing any other conversation as she notices her mother and crawls across her father's chest to be in her mother's arms. Katniss cuddles her, kisses her and holds her.

Lila doesn't want to leave her side for the rest of the evening and it gives Peeta time to do some work. Katniss does the bedtime routine and gets Lila down at quarter to 8. She finds Peeta down in the office and comes and sits on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Remember in college, we were just a few months away from graduating and we were looking at where we'd send job applications to." She begins and he nods. "And you told me exactly the same thing you told me earlier, you'd follow me wherever I wanted to go. It didn't bother you to leave Bridgeport and your family because you were finding your own family with me. Finding a home. And you assured me from that night after our huge argument that you're happy to go anywhere I go. I want to turn that around right now."

"Katniss you don't-"

"Peeta, it's your turn. After everything, I want you to decide what we do. If you want to move for a new job then we'll put our house up for sale and move tomorrow if you say so." She tells him. "What do you want Peeta?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "I'm happy as we are for now. I don't have any offers and we have a comfortable life. A blessed life. For now, let's just stay here in Boston, raise our beautiful daughter and continue to heal as we have been. We can live a quiet life, work our jobs and come home to each other and our daughter." He smiles. "That's only if you want to."

"Hey, we're in this together. We go where you go."

"And I go where you go."

She cups his face in her hands and leans towards him, touching her lips to his gently. He kisses her back with more passion and ferocity and she keels against his body and grips his shirt tightly, pulling him tighter to her body. She shifts in his lap, leaning backwards and trails her hands down his chest before settling them on his hips and waist. He groans against her lips and she dips her hand inside of his pants and eventually his boxers searching for his heated flesh.

He stills his lips against hers and she wraps her hand around him and kisses him, seeking entrance into his mouth. He allows her and she runs her hand along his thick flesh.

She does it for him mostly, wanting to show him she means it; she means what she just told him. Promise him the rest of their lives, even if they were still broken and still figuring out what it all meant, she'd want the rest of her life to try her best to figure it out with him by her side.

He comes a few minutes later and thanks her softly as he kisses her.

He returns the favour when they go to bed, his fingers finding her heat, bringing her over the edge and causing her to see stars.

She hadn't seen stars since the night of Lila's conception.

She sits on the couch, laptop sitting on her lap as she reads some of the previous blog entries on Madge's blog. Entries from guest bloggers who have spoken about a wide range of topics and their personal lives.

Madge got her break as a Mom blogger, beginning a blog about other mom's and being queens, being empowered to take on the world and their lives. To support other Moms and hopefully create networks for those who were struggling and needed a lift in their role as mother and wife.

It spread like wildfire when Madge had James and posted a photo of her, holding James in her underwear and showing off her postpartum body, six months after having James. It was to basically say a big fuck you to all those other 'perfect mothers' who shamed her for carrying a little bit of baby weight. And ever since then, her popularity has skyrocketed and has become the most popular mom blog. And since becoming a war widow she's gained a new following of people as she's talked about her grief, raising James and being pregnant with twins, twins that her husband will never meet. It's moving and a beautiful snapshot into her life.

And she had finally convinced Katniss to make a contribution to her blog after two years of persuasion. Katniss didn't want to open up in such a big and personal way but she felt as if now she was ready to take a plunge and speak about her life and she had already sent her entry to Madge and was waiting for it to be posted onto her blog.

"Katniss?"

"In here!" She calls to him. She checks her watch and then shuts the lid of her laptop, setting it onto the coffee table. Lila was still down for her afternoon nap.

Peeta bursts into the living room smiling from ear to ear.

"What is it?"

"I had an email today from a friend today. It came as a surprise."

"Yes."

"He's given me an offer?"

"Really? That's great. What is it?"

"Freelance stuff mostly. He wants to give me the opportunity to finally express myself and blog."

"Really?"

"And I'd be earning good money doing it. I mean, I'd still work at the paper but do this as more of a hobby and see where it takes me."

"Wow, that's great."

"I told him I'd think about it but I think I'm ready for change. Ready for something else, something I can really sink my teeth into and I have a lot to say."

She smiles at him. "If you want to do it then, do it. It's time for you to do something you want."

They eat dinner; he bathes Lila and gets her ready for bed before bringing her to Katniss for her feed. He disappears down to the study and Katniss gets Lila fed and tucked into bed. She pads into the study and sees the screen has captured Peeta's attention.

"What is it?"

"You're post has gone viral."

"Really?"

"It was posted twenty minutes ago and already 4,000 likes, lots of shares and comments. People are loving it."

She comes and sits in his lap and he reads it aloud.

"I was asked to interview Cinna, a musician, just last month. We've built a friendship over the past couple of years and I've come to known him as a mentor and friend. The latest interview was an exclusive, one he didn't want published or told by anyone but me because he knew I'd capture every emotion he wanted to portray. He personally asked me and I knew I couldn't say no. I went to his apartment in New York with my husband and daughter and let him speak about the most tragic moment of his life. The moment when he learnt his unborn son would never open his eyes. The moment he became the father to a stillborn."

"We both understand what this feels like and I compared my experience to his in this interview, giving the readers a view into what it did to Cinna, as the father and what it did to me as a mother of a stillborn. I compared our experiences and our actions after. This interview was so well received; I've been receiving emails daily from those of you who are passing on their condolences or those who are thanking me for bringing to light a topic that is so rarely discussed. It's a conversation that I think needs to be had as I feel not a lot of people understand what we go through, what our family goes through when we lose a child."

Peeta kisses her long and hard after they finish reading the rest of it. She sends Madge a text to thank her for the opportunity and they retreat to the couch. They lay under a blanket and he wraps his arms around her body pulling her close to him.

There are tears in their eyes but they don't mind crying in front of each other. They knew speaking of their son would bring up emotions they wish they didn't feel but these emotions were slowly turning into happiness.

1st of December 2013

"Here you go." He tells her softly, helping her down onto the couch.

Here they were, home from the hospital without their son.

And they were meant to continue their lives without really knowing what to do.

Were they supposed to go back to the lives they were living before they were expecting? Were they just supposed to forget and get on with their lives?

A nurse at the hospital insinuated they do that. Just forget it ever happened and try again for another baby.

She felt it was her fault she lost Leo. She felt shamed by this nurse that she couldn't bring her son into the world.

A psychiatrist didn't even bother spending more than five minutes with her. Signed her off to be of sound mind and that her recovery would be best undertaken from home.

A place where they prepared for their son, where they created a bedroom for him to sleep in, painted the walls and made it homey and hopefully a haven for him.

And now, he was laying in the hospital somewhere waiting to be released to the funeral home where he'd be cremated and his ashes returned to his parents in a tiny urn.

"Can I get you anything?" Peeta asks.

She shakes her head and cuddles a pillow to her swollen stomach. Her body was aching from head to toe. Her breasts felt like marble as her milk was coming in. Her uterus was contracting slowly back to it's pre-pregnancy size.

She got all the post-delivery side effects but not her son.

Why couldn't she have her son?

Peeta disappears somewhere into the house and she sits on the couch, staring at the wall for hours.

When it's dark she finally moves from the couch.

She slowly trudges through the house and up the stairs, taking them one at a time and as slowly as possible. She supports her hurting body against the wall and slowly searches for Peeta.

She hears his sobs from the nursery and after taking a few minutes to compose her emotions; she opens the door and steps inside.

Peeta is sitting on the middle of the nursery floor staring at the crib. She can tell he's been here for hours crying as he stares at the crib where their son was supposed to sleep in. She had made the crib up a few days before Thanksgiving. She had a feeling it'd be soon and she wanted everything to be ready for their son.

She touches his shoulder, squeezing it as she feels him tense at her touch.

He exhales the deep breath he's been holding in and wipes his eyes.

"I can't do it."

"What?" She replies.

"I just can't." He splutters out.

She feels the tears well in her own eyes. "What can't you do?" She asks, her voice cracking.

"He was our son. He was our baby. I don't want another baby. Leo was our son and we lost him. I can't do it again. I can't go through the pain of all this hope, just to have it destroyed with another loss." He cries. "Leo was our baby. I can't do that again."

She squeezes her eyes together tightly. "Peeta…"

"No."

"You're upset Peeta, you don't mean that."

"I do Katniss. I don't want to go through that all again." He tells her. "Do you want to experience that all again? Can you bring yourself to carry another child after we've just lost him?" He asks her.

She doesn't reply and sinks down onto the floor beside him, crying into his shirt.

Two weeks later, he starts drinking. Leo's ashes sit on the kitchen table and Peeta sits at the table, the whisky in the bottle slowly disappearing as the day wears on. She packs up the nursery, folding tiny baby clothes into bags and storing them up in the attic.

He asks her why she is keeping the clothes and baby furniture.

"I can't let them go just yet."

He shrugs and brushes past her to the bedroom.

And she wills herself not to cry as she feels a flood of emotions and doubt setting inside of her stomach.

She fears her marriage is falling apart before her eyes.