Finally felt inspiration for an update.
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X.
His arms were on either side of her as he controlled Fowler, taking him at a slow pace, which Elizabeth knew was for her benefit, and she sat there, unable to truly think of anything other than how warm her new husband was and how firm he felt. She was certain there were walls in their keep that weren't as strongly built as her new husband.
Husband. She wondered when she would get used to such a thing. She was married now to this man who sat behind her and who had his arms protectively holding onto her so that she did not fall straight from this horse's backside. She now had a husband and she was now a wife. She had always wanted to be a wife and a mother. Would she have children with Daryl? Now that they were married, it was their duty to have children. But was it something that Daryl wanted? There was so little she knew about the man behind her; the man she was now bound to for the rest of her life.
But she did not know how to get to know him. Even though she was his wife, it was still not her place to question him on things. A wife's duty was to be obedient and Daryl was such a quiet man. Elizabeth did not doubt that he wished to have a wife who was the same. Richard's words before the ceremony that morning still echoed in her mind. He is not an easy man, but he is a good man. However, other words also echoed in her mind; words that she could not easily forget. You don't have to talk with her to have a marriage.
No, she could not speak to this man sitting behind her. What could she possibly say to him?
She was surprised when Daryl broke the silence between them.
"There is a spot I'd like to show you. It's just a bit further up ahead," he said.
She nodded and did not respond.
He was quiet for a moment. "Do you hurt?" He then asked and at first, she wasn't entirely certain to what he was referring to.
Did she hurt? Did her chest hurt from an ache she did not understand, still desiring this man that sat behind her, and even though she was now his, she did not pretend that he was hers in return? Because yes, that did hurt. It hurt more than anything she had experienced yet in her young life.
"I know riding for even a little distance when not used to it can hurt," Daryl then took the time to clarify what he meant with his question.
"I am well, husband," Elizabeth answered even though as the words fell past her lips, her bottom stung with soreness. She did not shift in an attempt at relieving the pain. She did not wish for him to know.
The spot Daryl took her to was in a small thicket of woods with a small creek flowing through the middle of it, twisting and winding, softly trickling over stones. There was no other sound besides that except for the gentle chirping of the birds in the trees. It was beautiful and peaceful and Elizabeth felt herself smiling faintly as she looked around the area.
Daryl stopped Fowler beside the creek and then slid from his back. He then turned and without a word, he extended his arms up towards Elizabeth. She leaned over and put her hands on his shoulders and his hands curved around her hips, gently pulling her down from the animal to her feet on the firm ground. He held her for a moment longer, knowing that she needed her legs to steady beneath her, and he was right.
Her hands remained on his shoulders and she dared herself to look up into his face. She had only been this close to him just a small amount of times, but she thought what she always thought when she looked into his face. Her husband was a handsome man. Perhaps others would not see it when they looked at him. They would look at his messy hair and his tanned, rough-skinned face and see the scars on his body and would think while he was formidable looking, he was not handsome. But Elizabeth would disagree with every one of them. Her husband was handsome in his own way – and a way that she liked very much. Because even with everything he had gone through and had done in this life, there was a trace of innocence to him that Elizabeth could see; and she thought that perhaps she was the only one capable of seeing it.
"Alright?" Daryl asked her.
"Yes," Elizabeth remembered herself and removed her hands from his shoulders. "Thank you, husband." Her words were soft and her eyes were no longer on him. She took to looking around the small wood where he had brought her. "How did you know of this place?" She asked, unable to help herself. It, after all, was an innocent question.
She felt his eyes on her as she turned in a slow circle, looking up to the trees and the way the sunlight filtered itself through the lush leaves, but she did not look at him again.
"It is not the first time Richard has dragged me to a place I did not wish to go," Daryl said. "We came to see Laird Philip the year before last. I found it then."
"It's beautiful," Elizabeth said and finally, her eyes returned to him. As she had felt, she discovered that she had been right. His eyes were settled on her. She wondered what he thought when he looked at her. Surely, he had not wanted to marry her, but he was an honorable man and had wanted to save her from the grave situation she had been in.
She wondered what the other women of the Keep would do once they returned home. So many had shamelessly flirted with him. Would they continue even after all learned that he was now a married man? Elizabeth did not doubt it. Unless the man made it known that they could not sway him from his wife, men often returned female attention. And though through her watching, she saw that Daryl had always ignored them, would he continue to?
From the corner of her eye, she saw yellow, and she turned her head, smiling as she saw the wild daffodils growing among the tall grass at the bank of the creek. She went to them now and kneeling down, she began to gently pluck at the flowers, making herself a small bouquet. For her wedding day, she told herself.
"Do you use them for something?" A voice asked from behind her and she could not help but be startled even though she knew it was Daryl. She had not heard him approach her and had not expected him to be so close. "Sorry," he mumbled upon seeing her reaction and he took a step backwards. She wished to tell him that he did not have to do that, but the words were clumped in her throat, stubbornly staying put and not letting her speak them.
"No," she shook her head to his question. She looked back to the flowers and smiled. "They have always been one of my favorites. They have a poison in them that is fatal, but I still think they are so beautiful though."
Once she had collected enough for her liking, she stood up once more and closing her eyes, she lowered her nose to the petals, inhaling their pleasant, familiar scent.
"How do you know so much about flowers?" Daryl asked.
Elizabeth lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "Flowers have their own language and I have always felt that it is an important one to learn and know. Flowers give this world much more than people ever think."
"And what do daffodils mean in the flower language?"
Elizabeth paused for a moment and when she thought of the answer, she could not keep herself from smiling; almost letting out a laugh of irony. "New beginnings," she replied.
Daryl was quiet at that and did not speak further. Fowler had gone to the creek to help himself to a drink of water and Daryl turned away from Elizabeth, going to join his horse.
She watched as he crouched down and cupping his hands, he splashed some water onto his face as if he needed to cool himself down even though there was a somewhat brisk, gentle breeze blowing around them that afternoon.
He stayed there for a few minutes and Elizabeth did not speak. Instead, she held her flowers and smelled them once more before looking to see if there were other flowers that grew in this small thicket. When Daryl stood up again, she looked to him, but still did not speak. And for a moment, he looked at her and did not speak either.
"Richard and your father are both in agreement that they do not need proof of consummation," he said rather bluntly.
Elizabeth felt her eyes widen and her cheeks warm. She had been doing her best to not think of that since this morn and her talk with Lady Lori. It was her duty, she knew, but it was one that absolutely terrified her so she had done everything she could to keep it from her mind. If she thought of it, she would have been paralyzed with fear the entire day.
"Oh," Elizabeth said because she could not think of anything else to say.
"I am not going to force you into consummating," he then added.
"Oh," she said again, still at a lose for words.
Did he not wish to consummate their marriage because he did not wish to do so with her? They had to though. Otherwise, their marriage would not be a true marriage and could have the power to be null and void if Daryl wished it. And deep down, Elizabeth knew that she did not wish this marriage to end before it could even begin. She knew this man did not love her and did not seem to think highly of marriage and would probably entertain another woman who was not his wife – since he did not think there was anything wrong with that – but despite all of that, Elizabeth admitted that she honestly did not wish to be married to someone else. At least, she knew that Daryl would never beat her or force himself upon her and that was far more than most women got with their own husbands.
With Daryl, she did not know if she would be happy, but she knew that she would be safe.
Daryl was looking at her and she thought that he was going to say something else, but he remained silent, and she certainly did not know what to say. She couldn't possibly ask Daryl if they could consummate anyway. She did not doubt that he did not desire her and she was petrified at how much the act would hurt. But still, it was a duty that they had to see to now. As man and wife, it was expected of them. And they could not have children if they did not lay together. It was Elizabeth's duty to have children.
"We should get back," Daryl said after a few moments of silence passing between them.
Elizabeth said nothing; simply nodded.
"It is going to be dusk soon and I would not have you out here in the night," he further said.
He led Fowler away from the creek and brought the horse closer to Elizabeth. And then, as he had in the bailey, Daryl grasped Elizabeth's waist and easily lifted her onto the beast. She held the bouquet of daffodils close to her chest as Daryl mounted behind her and once again, she found herself in his arm's safety.
He led them from the trees with the same slow and steady pace that had brought them there and they walked along in silence. Elizabeth stared ahead, watching Fowler's ears flick and feeling Daryl's warm breath on the back of her head.
As the Keep rose from beyond the hill, Elizabeth swallowed and felt a heaviness in her stomach. She would much rather have stayed in that thicket with Daryl for a bit longer. She could not wait to leave this place and return home once more. Perhaps once back home, they could begin their marriage in a place they were both far more at ease being in. If Elizabeth was honest, she wished to just get their first time out of the way.
"Thank you for taking me there," Elizabeth heard herself say softly and she spoke so softly, she was not certain that Daryl heard her.
"You're welcome," but then he said in his gruff voice a moment later.
The rest of the ride was silent between them.
Once in the bailey, Daryl dismounted and then took Elizabeth and gently lifted her down as well. He barely held onto her this time though before he was moving away, leading Fowler back into the stable and Elizabeth stood there, hugging her daffodils, not sure what she should do. Should she wait for him or return inside without him at her side?
Around him, there were men: soldiers returning from training in the lists, on their way to the evening meal. Laird Richard's men passed her and politely inclined their heads in her direction and she gave them small smiles in return. She did not make eye contact with those men who were Laird Philip's. She saw Daryl step from the stable and after seeing that she was where he had left her, he headed in her direction, exchanging brief words with some of his men who passed him and spoke to him first. Elizabeth knew that her husband was rarely one to speak first – though he had done oftentimes with her today. She was curious as to why he did with her.
"I should bring these to my chamber," she told him, referring to the flowers.
"I will walk you," Daryl said with a single nod of his head.
Inside, the Great Hall was crowded and loud with everyone being served and diving into their food and Elizabeth nearly told Daryl that he could stay and eat with the other men, but before she could, she felt a light hand on the small of her back as Daryl steered her towards the stairs. She did not think of telling him to stay. Despite the words this man had said that had wounded her so deeply, she felt a warmth bloom across her entire body from where he was barely touching her.
Up the stairs, it was much quieter and his hand dropped from her back.
Elizabeth led the way to the small chamber where she and Judith were staying and she opened the door, seeing that it was empty. She needed to find Lady Lori and see where the baby was so she could resume her duties.
She gently laid the bouquet of daffodils onto the mantel of the fireplace and she saw that no one had lit it yet. She would have to go find one of the boys who worked in the keep to see if he would be able to light her a fire and then she would go to the kitchens for a cup of water to keep the flowers in. They would help in brightening the room.
She looked back to Daryl. He had taken one step into the room and then had stopped. He was staring at the bare room with a deep frown on his face; seeing that there was nothing but the cradle Judith was sleeping, the chest they had brought filled with things Judith would need for the journey and Elizabeth's meager amount of dresses and then the furs and pallet on the floor that Elizabeth was sleeping on during their stay and a single chair to sit on.
"Lady Andrea explained that this room was generally kept empty," Elizabeth said, explaining why it was so bare.
But Daryl did not stop frowning. Instead, he only seemed to be growing angrier. Elizabeth could not help but take a small step backwards as if he was about to lash out at her though there was no reason for him to be angry with her. If he noticed her backing away from him, he did not point it out.
"Have you been sleeping on the floor?" He asked and his voice was almost a growl.
"There was no extra bed for me…" Elizabeth answered, doing her best to keep her voice steady. His face now looked as it had when he had driven his sword through that man that had been on top of her, pinning her to the ground. He looked like the Devil himself. She took a step towards him before stopping herself. It was her duty now to calm him, she remembered. She had so many duties as a wife now. "It is alright, Daryl. Truly. The furs are soft and warm and the fire-"
But the words died on her tongue when Daryl let out some sort of growl and turned, storming from the chamber, leaving her alone in the growing darkness and coldness.
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