Chapter 10
Mixed Emotions
Eyes as beautiful as that should be illegal.
Kaoru could barely breathe as Kenshin held her closely; his eyes captured and locked hers. His right hand circled her waist while his left hand grasped her arm; he kept her close to him without much effort but Kaoru was too captivated to even care. The pressure on her arm was minimal...it was gentle but firm and that took her attention away from her current position.
Instead, Kaoru found herself drowning in his eyes. Stormy blue eyes gazed deeply into ember flames as they stood together, so close that she could feel his breath on her cheek. His eyes suddenly left hers then to watch as a droplet of water trailed seductively over her features to disappear between the valley of her breasts.
Kenshin took a deep breath and shuddered. Gently, he pulled back and saw her eyes widen in surprise. He could read the sudden rush of desire in her gaze and wanted nothing more than to answer her but a casual affair was not what he was looking for. Summoning every ounce of discipline he possessed, Kenshin took another step back and resisted the urge to kiss her when Kaoru unconsciously bit her lips in confusion.
"You should get dressed, Kaoru. Although it is warm, there is chance you might catch a cold, ne?" Kenshin said, sounding calmer than he felt. The sight of her naked body wrapped in nothing but a wet white towel was seriously crushing the wall he tried so hard to build.
I will not touch her. I will not touch her. I will not touch her.
Kaoru bit her lips, a gesture she couldn't help but do. She nodded her head and started to walk past him when she made the mistake of looking up at him while biting her lips. Kenshin groaned and forgot all those discipline he tried so hard to hold on to. One hand reached out to grab her arm and he pulled her back into his arms. Kaoru looked up, shocked and startled; her blue eyes widen impossibly making her seem so much more vulnerable than she was.
With an oath, Kenshin's lips descended upon hers; and his mouth crushed hers fiercely. Desire ragged in him and he realised that for once, Kaoru wasn't fighting back. Instead, she moulded her body against his making him groan louder with need. His parted lips crushed hers, sliding insistently back and forth, urging hers to part for him; Kaoru was hesitant but the moment she did, his tongue slid between them, plunging into the soft recesses of her mouth.
She had to be crazy, Kaoru thought as she ardently responded to Kenshin's kisses. She was mad and insane and thoroughly enjoying the kiss. This was wrong! She should pull back. She should stop this at once. However, even as Kaoru thought that, her hands wound up around Kenshin's neck, pressing her body impossibly closer to his, feeling the hard planes of his body. At that moment, Kenshin nipped her bottom lip, urging her to kiss him back. Kaoru relented; she brushed her lips back and forth over his, slowly exploring the warm curves of his mouth, learning the taste of him, while his parted lips begin to move against hers in a wildly arousing kiss.
Lost in the mounting turmoil of their kiss and unaware of the hardening pressure against her thigh, Kaoru let her fingers slide into his soft hair, enjoying the feeling of the glorious red hair between her fingers. So lost was she into the kiss that she was oblivious to the loosening of the towel's knot. As they stayed in each others arms, lips locked in sinful pleasure, the knot become totally undone and was only held up by the closeness of their bodies.
Clang!!
Reality crashed.
Kaoru's eyes widen. Kenshin didn't look away; instead he gazed steadily into hers as though willing her to stay. However, Kaoru instantly slipped her hands from his hair and pulled away but Kenshin's arms around her stopped her from moving any further. Yet that little space was just enough.
Kaoru's towel, as it was not held up anymore slid open, her front totally bare for him to look. Stunned, her eyes grew even wider and she cried out; hands automatically crossing in front of her as Kenshin's eyes roamed lower.
"Don't!" she cried out, her heart hammering against her ribs and she could have sworn that he could hear it beating so loudly. Kenshin nodded and looked beyond her shoulder and his hands was about to loosen their hold when he heard a noise.
"There's someone," he whispered and felt Kaoru stiffen. "Don't make a sound." She nodded at his order wondering why she trusted him. He turned her so that his back was facing the door. He held Kaoru protectively in his arms, pulling her close so that her bare chest pressed against his shirt. Her nipples tightened instantly as it grazed his shirt and Kaoru bit her lips to keep from moaning –what the hell was wrong with her? - ; Kenshin was very aware of it...of her. He swallowed but didn't do anything. Instead he stood silently, hoping that the dark would be sufficient to hide any evidence that might betray their presence and praying he would have enough self control to let her go.
The footsteps moved passed the pool room without stopping. Kaoru's body relaxed before it stiffen again when she realised her current position.
"Himura-san..." Kaoru started softly trying to sound firm but ended up whispering his name.
He didn't say a word but he released her and turned away as Kaoru secured the towel around her once more. Neither said anything as she picked up her clothes and disappeared to change.
When Kaoru came out from a room after changing, Kenshin was gone.
XXX
What just happened?
Kaoru lay on her bed, a thin night gown covering her lithe body. Her fingers reached up and touched her lips. She could still feel the heat of his kiss, the touch of his lips and the feel of his warm body hard against hers. She couldn't believe she had responded so uninhibitedly. Wasn't she supposed to hate the man's guts?
And Kenshin...
If she had not known better, he would have taken the chance present to him just now. Instead, when her towel became undone, he looked away; respecting her wishes. Since when was he so considerate? He was suppose to be a brute...at least as far as she has known him he was such a jerk that she thought at least she could learn to hate him.
Gentle...
Kaoru looked at her arms. He had held her so gently, as though he was afraid to hurt her. His arm had held her waist so securely; a hidden promise of protection.
Warmth...
Despite the heat, his body felt pleasantly warm...she had been so cold and he had held her so warmly.
And his kiss...
Why had she responded to his kiss? Why now? Was it because of Enishi? Did Enishi's call shake her so much that she had seek comfort from him? The call...her fear...the mood...
How the hell was she suppose to face him tomorrow?!
Kaoru pulled at her hair in frustration and screamed into her pillow. Her heart was still beating so furiously and she could not forget his image or his kiss. Her body still longed for his touch.
He had protected her.
That thought brought a small smile on Kaoru's lips as she turned towards the window. He had shielded her with his body in case someone passes by.
That was something Aoshi would have done if Misao was in her position. Was that love?
Kaoru placed her hand against her heart and fear filled her once more. The past and the present joined together making her feel even more confused and afraid.
Was this love?
XXX
Kenshin lay on his bed, thinking of the passionate kiss they shared and a small smile of triumph filled his face.
She had kissed him back and had done so without any reserve. He was worried for a moment that she might fight him but she had held him close. He knew she had not expected this reaction and neither had he but it gave him hope.
Sano's advice was a good one.
XXX
Megumi tilted her head and looked at Misao. She could see the shock and disbelieve written all over Misao's face.
"Kenshin and Kaoru knew each other before? She was staying here with him?"
"Yup. I thought you knew. You seemed so happy to get them together that I naturally thought you knew what you were getting yourself into."
Misao shook her head. "Kaoru didn't say a word. However, once she had mentioned that she got her heart broken by an older guy and that's why she finds it hard to trust someone so easily. I didn't expect that guy to be Kenshin..." Misao murmured.
I can't believe I told Aoshi that Kenshin would never hurt Kaoru. If Aoshi hears about this, he would keep Kaoru as far away as possible from Kenshin. No wonder Kenshin was so eager to get my help...he wants to woe Kaoru...but is he serious..?
"Misao...?"
Misao looked up, her eyes wide with confusion. "What am I suppose to do? Kao-chan is my best friend and I don't want Kenshin to hurt her. If he has hurt her before, she won't be so trusting again. On the other hand, if Kenshin truly loves her, why didn't he go after her?"
Megumi shrugged as she looked at the young bride to be. "I don't really know why Kaoru left. I also don't know if they have any relationship. All I know is that she stayed here with Kenshin. That baka tori-atama is the one who told me that Kenshin loves her. I didn't really take it seriously cause Kaoru didn't seem to be Kenshin's type. But Misao...he changed after she left. No reckless outings and trails of women. A few casual relationships but that was it. He concentrated on his work."
Misao looked up at her. "Are you saying he might actually be truly in love with her? Unknowingly?"
The doctor shrugged and sipped her drink. Her clinic was closed and her nurse had left long ago. Misao had decided to come in for a chat and somehow the talk strayed to this topic.
"It's not going to be easy. Kaoru seemed very uncomfortable with Kenshin. Anyone with a brain could see that during the party. It's just..." Megumi sighed and looked directly at Misao. "After Tomoe, I have never seen him so serious about a woman."
Her companion nodded. "Kaoru has that effect. Aoshi seemed more approachable ever since she came along. Do you think we can...get them together?"
Eyebrows drawn together, Megumi regarded Misao thoughtfully. "You sure she has no one? I know Kenshin is not going out with anyone."
Misao nodded. "She is not together with anyone. I'll take care of things but I want to know why she left. I'm going to ask her."
"Do you think she will tell?"
Misao shook her head. "No idea. Guess I have to try my luck. I've got to go, Meg."
Megumi nodded and picked up her stuff. "Me too. Want me to drop you off? It's on the way."
With a smile, the smaller woman shook her head. "Aoshi is here. He just rang."
"Aa. Have fun. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
With a slight bounce in her steps, Misao went out to greet her fiancé.
XXX
The morning was an intruder to the sleep Kaoru had finally managed to gain after hours of turning and twisting the night before. She felt like a ton of bricks were on her head as she got out of bed. Had it not been for the appointments she had arranged the day before she would have gladly slept in and happily avoided a certain red-head.
Dressing up in a pair of dark slacks and white blouse, Kaoru tied her hair in a high ponytail before rushing downstairs. She needed to go to town to meet the man in charge for the chairs and tables and the ice sculptors. In her haste, she nearly collided with her cousin.
Dressed in a dark suit himself, Aoshi looked incredibly handsome. Kaoru gave him a mischievous one over and grinned when his eyebrow shot up in question.
"Looking hot, I see?"
"Hn."
Kaoru laughed. That was all she got and usually not even that. Shaking her head, she told him about her plans and invited him to join her and Misao. Nodding his head, Aoshi slipped an arm around her shoulder and in silent gratitude as Kaoru looked up at him. At that brief moment, he saw his aunt in her eyes; beautiful and innocent.
"Family reunion?" a dry voice said from behind, amusement laced with it.
Kaoru turned and grinned at Misao.
"Morning, Mi-chan. Had a nice night?"
Misao grinned back and hooked her arm around Aoshi's free one. "Yup. Though it would be better if your blockheaded cousin would join me."
Aoshi's eyes narrowed. "Misao," he said quietly, a warning tone evident but Misao as usual ignored it. Aoshi mentally frowned. Blockheaded cousin? Join her in bed? Is she crazy?
"We'll be looking at the chairs, tables and ice-sculpture. It would be for the best if you two would follow."
Misao looked at Aoshi and nodded. "Sure, why not. It is our wedding after all."
Grinning, Kaoru led them out.
XXX
After hours of selecting, they settled on the combination of purple and white. It was a royal purple; deep in shade and magnificent and very expensive but Aoshi was willing to spend the money. Misao managed to bargain with him in order to share the cost and finally had his green light to pay for the ice sculpture.
That was another gruelling task. Misoa could barely make up her mind but Aoshi stood by patiently, listening to her 'oohs' and'aahs'. Kaoru could only smile longingly at the picture they made. She thought they were a match made in heaven. She had never seen her cousin look at someone with something akin to adoration as he was looking at Misao. His hand lay loosely on her shoulders, a sign of both possessiveness and affection. Kaoru wondered whether she would be so lucky as to attend her own wedding ceremony instead of just planning others.
"Oh, that was tiring!" Misao exclaimed as they sat down in the tea shop, resting their tired legs. "Did you see that chair? It was fantastic. The red colour was beautiful and so rich! I wanted that one so much but I knew Aoshi doesn't favour red so much so I had to give up the idea of having that chair. Did you notice the other chair? The gold drapes and dark blue ribbons were such an odd mixture but the end result was magnificent! Unfortunately, even its beauty could not match the royal purple. The contrast...the shades. Kaoru, you have great taste."
Kaoru grinned allowing Misao to continue rambling on and on about the choices they had to see. It was quite an experience to hear Misao talk as she rarely took a breath between sentences. Silently, Kaoru mused about Aoshi predicament. However does he get a word edgewise?
Speaking about her cousin...Kaoru frowned. Aoshi had disappeared with the excuse of work, right after they chose the sculpture. He is working too hard, Kaoru thought unhappily. But then again...there is work to be done before and after the wedding and honeymoon. His research is going so well after all.
"Kaoru...?"
"Hm?" Kaoru looked at her friend, confused. "Did you say something?"
Misao frowned and then bit her lips. Determined to take the bull by its horns, she plunged straight through. "Remember once you told me someone older broke your feelings..."
Kaoru's heart raced but she kept a calm appearance and nodded.
"What did he do?"
"What?"
"You know...how did he hurt your feelings?"
This is delicate, Kaoru thought hopelessly. She knew how much Misao adores Kenshin and telling her best friend that her best cousin was a jerk was a tad too much. Thank goodness I never mentioned his name, Kaoru thought with a sigh.
"It was a long time, Misao. Let's just leave it, ne?"
Misao shook her head. "I want to know. Please Kaoru? I don't want to set you up with some other jerk, ne?"
Kaoru nearly spit out the coffee she was sipping. "Set me up? I don't need you to set me up!"
"Your love life is non-exsistant. You need help. Luckily I have two candidates in mind. I just need to know who's better. So, how did the guy hurt you?"
Kaoru sighed. "I thought he loved me but I was wrong. That's all there is to it."
"Kaoru..."
Kaoru shook her head.
Misao frowned. "I'll pester you until you tell me or I swear I will start hooking you up with any guy above 25 and below 40."
"What!?"
"I'm serious. Please, Kaoru. I'm your friend, right?"
Relenting, Kaoru put down her mug and started at her fingers. "I fell for him...hard when I first met him. I was so young, Misao...so inexperienced and suddenly so feminine. He gave me weird looks and mixed signals. I didn't understand and decided not to act on it. A puppy love...first crush. That was all. I convinced myself that that was all.
But, he seduced me to bed or I guess I wanted him to take me to bed. I wanted him to look at me as a woman and not a child. He was an enigma...I was just plain dumb. I thought...if a man takes a woman to bed, he must love her."
Kaoru looked up at Misao, her pained smile on her lips and her eyes slightly glazed with unshed tears. "I was wrong. You don't have to love someone to make love to them."
Misao didn't say a word. Deep inside, she couldn't believe her cousin could be so heartless as to sleep with Kaoru without considering her feelings. How can she help Kenshin now when he had hurt Kaoru so badly?
"A beautiful girl...no...a beautiful woman..."
"And gorgeous blue eyes..."
"I...guess...I do love her..."
Misao looked out at the streets. Did and does Kenshin love Kaoru?
"Mi-chan, let's go home?"
Misao looked at her friend remembering the wounded and haunted look in her eyes when they first met. She had looked so lost and alone; so untrusting.
"Let us go back."
She has to talk to Kenshin.
XXX
The angry woman before him surprised Kenshin. Never had he seen Misao so mad. She looked like she was ready to skin him alive and bury him...after she tortured him. Her eyes burned with anger and he wondered what he had done to deserve this.
"You LIED!"
'Oh...that.'
"About what, Misao?" Kenshin asked, trying to play dumb but was shocked when Misao fisted her fingers on his shirt and pulled him close to her.
"How could you, Kenshin? There I was telling Aoshi how sweet you were when you hurt Kaoru so badly before. On top of that, you had the nerve to tell me you didn't know her before?"
Kenshin sighed and calmly released his shirt. "As I recall, I never said I didn't know her. I think I never answered that question, ne Misao? Secondly, what the hell do you mean I hurt her?"
"You slept with her...you didn't even love her!"
Kenshin kept quiet. "I was wrong to sleep with her. I realised that in the morning but when I wanted to apologise, she had gone away. I didn't know where she went or i would have looked for her."
Misao sank in the chair opposite of Kenshin. "You wanted to apologise?"
Kenshin nodded. Groaning, Misao rubbed her eyes tiredly. "Thank goodness Kao-chan left."
Kenshin blinked. Not understanding her at all. "Misao...?"
"Do you love her?"
"Eh?"
"Do you love her or was asking my help just a way for you to bed her again?"
"Misao!?"
"I need to know, Himura. She's my best friend. You don't know how she looked when I first saw her. She was so scared and alone. So untrusting. I had to earn her respect and trust the hard way. I like her...a lot and if you hurt her, I swear..."
"I love her, Misao. From the day she came banging on my front door. I love her," Kenshin said furiously, stressing each word as though to knock it in her head. "She was too young and I know that I had violated her but I love her. I can't stand seeing her with someone else and that's why I asked for your help."
Misao stared hard at Kenshin and he returned her gaze. "I'll help but I swear if you hurt her..."
"I won't. I can't. I can't lose her again."
The long braided hair woman nodded and got up to leave. She walked out without a backward glance but stopped at the door. She hesitated for a moment and then turned around.
"Kao-chan hates red roses. She prefers white ones."
With that, she turned and left. Kenshin smiled from his seat. His cousin was a loving woman and he was glad he won her trust.
White flowers, hmm?
XXX
Enishi watched as his sister got ready to go out with her husband. She seemed happy but he knew she was just acting. Akira hasn't been nice lately. Work is stressing him out and he takes out his frustrations on Tomoe. Oh, he was not physical. He never raised a hand against her but he was abusive in action and words. Silent treatment and sarcastic comments followed his sister everywhere.
All because of Kenshin Himura.
The pressure from Himura's company is driving Akira nuts and consequently, it hurts his dear sister. Akira's moodiness was a result of the unrelenting pressure from Himura.
Anger filled him as he watched Tomoe. She saw him studying her and smiled.
"How do I look?"
"Beautiful, as always."
"Eni-kun, is something wrong?" Tomoe asked softly as she cupped her brother's cheek. Enishi shook his head. Tomoe raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow.
"It's Himura."
"Kenshin?"
"He's giving Akira a lot of problem, isn't he? He is simply making you suffer!"
Tomoe shook her head. "The business world is harsh and unforgiving. People do what they can to win. That's life. Kenshin is doing what he is suppose to do."
Enishi shook his head, his hand fisted. "He is simply doing it to Akira. Why does he want to punish you when it was he who broke of the engagement?"
"Enishi!"
"Why, Onee-san? He humiliated you in front of everyone! If not for Akira..."
"Eni-kun, what happened between me and Kenshin is our problem. I don't want you to get involved and after all it is in the past. Everything is alright now," Tomoe said carefully. She had kept the secret with her just as Kenshin, Hiko and Akira had. Her parents would kill her if they knew the truth.
Enishi looked away. Tomoe kissed her brother's forehead and bade him goodbye before leaving the room. As she walked down to greet her husband, she hoped that Enishi wouldn't do anything foolish. Going down on her knees once for her brother was enough.
XXX
Her eyes blinked. She stared at the bundle in her arms in confusion.
A beautiful white bouquet was brought in by a servant, saying it was for her. Kaoru seriously had no idea who sent the bouquet and smelled the roses with a smile on her lips. There was no calling card but there was a small note.
Flipping it open, Kaoru stared at it in surprise.
Hope you enjoy this as much as the kiss we shared last night.
K
Kaoru read and reread the note before looking at the flowers.
He enjoyed the kiss?
A blush stained her cheeks and Kaoru found herself smiling widely.
It's just flowers and it would be such a waste to throw them.
She arranged them in the vase next to her bed.
It doesn't mean I love him or anything. It's just flowers.
Content, Kaoru walked out of her room, thinking of taking a walk in the maze. It was a beautiful night. The air was cool and inviting. Ignoring her sweater, she walked out and took a deep breath, sighing as the cool air filled her lungs.
Thoughts solely on the white flowers, Kaoru didn't notice where she was heading until she slammed right into someone. Startled, she started apologising when she looked up into amused amethyst orbs.
"Can't stay away from me?" Kenshin teased as he watched her blue eyes widening. Kaoru vehemently shook her head.
"Just taking a walk."
"Aah...mind if I join you?"
She looked at him then. What is this? No comeback? No wisecracks? What's he up to?"
"I'll pass. I should head in..."
"I won't jump on you, Kaoru. You have my word."
Kaoru sighed and nodded but then, turned to face him.
"How many times do I have to remind you to call me 'Kamiya-san'?"
"And how many times do I have to remind you to call me 'Kenshin'?"
"Himura-san..."
"Kenshin."
Kaoru stubbornly shook her head. The red head sighed. "You're so determined to put a barrier between us."
"You started it. Besides, it's impolite."
Kenshin kept quiet. Kaoru didn't say a word as they continued walking in the maze.
"How did you feel about our engagement when you first found out?"
Kenshin was startled and looked at her but she kept her eyes straight ahead. Shrugging, he tried not to sound too non-committed about it. "Shocked. Stunned. Enraged."
So much for being non-committed.
"Then, why did you agree to get engaged to me?" Kaoru asked, annoyed although deep inside, she felt a stab of pain. He never wanted her.
"I didn't, really. Sano called me to ask why I didn't inform him before hand and he had to find out from the newspapers. I told him that was how I found out about it too."
"Eh? From the papers?"
"Shishou thought my argument would be lessen that way. But you know," Kenshin said as he stopped and turned to face her. Catching her arm, he didn't pull her close but kept her from moving. "You were not too bad. You stole my interest from the moment I met you."
"Very funny. We both know you thought I was an ill-mannered tomboy."
Kenshin laughed at that. "Maybe I like ill-mannered tomboys?"
Kaoru refused to acknowledge the accelerated beat of her heart. He sounded so sincere when he said that that she allowed herself just a second to hope before banishing that thought.
"You like people as refined and elegant as Tomoe-san," Kaoru said off-handedly. She instantly noticed him tense beside her. "Himura-san?"
He looked away.
"Were you two...involved?" Kaoru asked, trying to sound as though she didn't care but she did...she really did.
Kenshin stared at her so intensely that she turned away. "Is it important for you to know?"
She shrugged, trying to act as though it was not. Kenshin slowly drew her closer.
"We were engaged for a while. I broke it off."
"Why?" Kaoru whispered, caught by his intense gaze, his eyes no longer violet but a deep ember.
"It doesn't matter."
She didn't know why she said it but she did. "It does."
Kenshin didn't say a word for a while. "In our world, when one renowned businessman or an heir of the said businessman proposes and then breaks off the engagement, it shames the woman."
"That doesn't answer my question," Kaoru replied, her eyes involuntarily shifting to his lips and then back to his eyes. Kenshin caught that movement, hunger filing him. He willed himself to stop.
"It means, I don't think it is necessary to tell you the real reason behind it."
Kaoru shook her head. "Then, that means there is a chance for you to go back to her."
He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "Not a chance."
"She hurt you."
It wasn't a question. It was a statement and he didn't feel like answering it. Instead, he found himself inhaling the sweet scent of jasmine. The warmth of her body, standing so close to him in the dark and cool air, tempted him to pull her closer. The memory of the night before assaulted him making him focus on her lips.
The moment he did that, Kaoru became more than aware of their current position. She bit her lips nervously and heard him groan. Kenshin had closed his eyes and Kaoru wondered what she did. Needing to distract him, she grasped on the one thing that came to mind.
"Thank you."
He opened his eyes and looked directly into hers.
"For the flowers...?"
"Aa. Shouldn't you be more gracious about your thanks?" Kenshin asked as he focused on her slightly parted lips once more. Kaoru swallowed and willed her legs to more but they disobeyed her. In fact, her whole body was like a stone; unmoving and waiting for something.
"How...?"
But her voice trailed off as his hand came up to cup her cheek. His thumb softly caressed her lips. Kaoru took in a deep breath and shuddered.
"Cold?"
She didn't know whether she should nod. As it is, she could barely think. All she could do was focus on his lips and the feeling of his thumb tracing hers.
She only wanted to thank him for the flowers a s a means of distraction.
It was not the right type of distraction, she realised, a bit too late.
As their eyes met and held, only one thought ran in Kaoru's mind.
Is he going to kiss me?
XXX
Author's note:
Finished! I was hoping I could complete this chapter before the break was over. Thank you all for your reviews and I hope you would send in more. I am still going to continue this story although I'm not sure when my next update will be. Exams are up and I got to study!!
I am really hoping to complete this story soon. Your support is greatly appreciated! Thank you all and hope you enjoy this new chapter!