Hi everyone,

Thanks again. You guys make the time and effort worth it!

Ok, so we have this last chapter before Dawson returns. Enjoy! Glad you enjoyed the last curse free chapter - I wanted to emphasize Joey's free will in being with Pacey.

Please review. You know I love it:-)

Tabx

Chapter 10

The summer is almost over. Its been the best summer of my life. That sounds so trite in many ways but in all honesty the last four months could have been hell, but instead they've been wonderful, and extremely full.

I've been working hard at the Marina but not for much longer as Bessie thinks the idea of a B&B is great, and when the insurance money comes through we're going to start working on it. Even with my pervert of a boss I haven't minded working at the Marina that much, and the boss can't really complain - I am the most obedient employee he's ever had. He asks me out and leers but luckily has never told me to do anything I don't want to do which is a relief. I can't imagine trying to explain that to Pacey.

Pacey is the real reason this summer has been so amazing. Pacey and I have always had a fiery relationship but when he comforted me on my dock about Dawson's rejection over four months ago something shifted between us. We realized we cared, and those feelings combined with the undeniable chemistry, well suffice to say its been good.

Through the first couple of weeks of the summer Pacey came by and was there for me and then he arrived with Jack and Jen and the perfect summer began. Two weeks later we were together and three months later I find it hard to believe I ever hated him, or thought I did. Love seems too corny and overused to describe what I feel. I feel like Pacey and I are unique, in fact in some way I know we are. Not that I've told him that.

This summer has been filled with dares, laughter, and simply hanging out in the beautiful sunshine. Its been hot and whenever I smell Jasmine (that grows near the pool), sunscreen, Jens perfume, Jacks deodorant or the delicious scent that is Pacey I will forever be reminded of endless hot days, relaxing in deckchairs, swimming in cool water and kissing Pacey, his gorgeous body holding mine close.

Pacey and I have had so much fun, and though he used to make me laugh, I had no idea we could talk about anything, that we could be close, and that my stomach would ache from laughing. Sure, we've fought and bickered the same as always, but we've flirted and frolicked as well. I'll never forget the weekend sailing that Bessie let us go on (ok so Jack and Jen were with us) or the fun dates, or just messing about with him at the pool. We all went camping, up near Dawson and Pacey's old fort and that was great, although the best moments were when Pacey would tap at my window late at night. Sometimes he'd come inside and the amazingly intoxicating chemistry would consume us for hours, but other times, we'd go lie on my dock in the moonlight. Pacey would cradle me in his arms and we'd just talk for hours. Those were the best moments because they caused me to fall head over heels in love with him.

But the summer is over. Dawson is back in three days. I only know because Bessie bumped into Gail and Gail told her. Dawson hasn't called any of us. I have to say I'm surprised. He did call Pacey once but didn't give Pacey a chance to tell him about us. I'm kind of nervous about what will happen when Dawson finds out. I don't think it'll be pretty but at the same time if he's expecting the world to stay the same, then he's living a fantasy. But living a fantasy really does sum up Dawson.

'Hey pretty girl,' Pacey's voice embraces me as he flops into the deckchair beside me.

'Grown bored of playing Frisbee with Jack?' I ask.

'He can throw it far but his aims off,' Pacey shrugs.

'Maybe your catching is what's off?' I tease.

'I caught you,' he says.

'That was cheesy - even for you,' I slap him lightly but he grabs hold of my hand and threads his fingers through mine.

'But true,' he grins charmingly.

'Anyway, I'm not some fish to be caught...' I begin.

'Calm down my sassy little frauline. I don't see you as a possession, I'm merely marvelling at my incredible luck.'

'Luck?'

'Yeah I never thought...well...' he's clearly struggling, his big eyes full of emotions.

'It's ok Pace,' I say softly and lean across to kiss him.

'So tonight?' he asks indicating his suggestion we head to the roller rink.

'I checked my diary and I'm really to sorry to say I'm busy...' I tease.

'You're a fickle mistress,' he teases affectionately his nose next to mine and he kisses me again.

'Do you want to know something Joey?' Pacey asks. His arms are wrapped around me as we sit on the dock. It's late the night before Dawson's arrival home and it somehow feels like the last night of the summer.

'Sure,' I snuggle back into his embrace and then tilt my head backwards so he can give me a soft kiss.

'I liked you for a long time, I mean I loved Andie I really did, but a while back you remember those times we kissed before you and Dawson...well I liked you back then,' he says.

'But we always fought so much,' I say surprised. I remember the chemistry, those amazing toe curling kisses, and Pacey being thoughtful but I don't remember it being more than that.

'The thing is Jo, I really fell for you hard back then. When I was with Andie well I was with her good and proper and you know, I would never cheat on a girlfriend, but I have to tell you if I'd ever thought that maybe that you might like me back, well I don't know whether Andie and I would have got together or even stayed together...'

'Really?' I don't know what to make of that.

'Damnit, it's all coming out wrong. I mean, I wasn't with her because I thought I had no chance with you. I guess what I'm saying is this process of falling for you, its been going on longer than you think.'

'That's not going to make me sleep with you Pacey,' I say giving him a roll of my eyes over my shoulder.

'So droll, here I am getting deep and you cheapen it!' he wraps his arms around me tighter.

'Seriously Pace, I get what you're saying and it's nice to hear,' I admit the truth softly because I'm embarrassed.

'Good,' Pacey kisses my ear and it's a gorgeous sensation.

'Last day at the pool tomorrow,' I say.

'And Dawson in the evening,' Pacey adds.

'Look, lets enjoy our big last hurrah at the pool with Jen and Jack and worry about Dawson when he finally makes contact with either you or I,' I tell him.

'Sounds like a plan my love,' he whispers and the term of endearment makes me smile all over. For a few moments I basque in my love sickness and then I remember the extremely exciting news I got this morning,

'Bessie got the cheque this morning,' I say softly, and smile because I know his reaction will be huge. He doesn't disappoint,

'Really?' Pacey practically screeches but I just laugh.

'Hey don't deafen me boyo!' I remind him.

'You got the cheque?' he laughs kissing me.

'Yeah, so the B&B can commence. I hope your offer of some labour might still ring true?' I can't help chuckling as he splatters my face with tiny kisses.

'This is great. The plans are drawn, so we're good to get going,' he is thinking out loud.

'We sure are,' I say and snuggle back into his arms.

'Wow. The summer really is over. No more horrible Marina boss, a new business, your own room, Dawson coming home...'

'School,' I tease and he chuckles.

'Yeah school.'

'I'm really sad the summer is over,' I admit.

'Me too,' he sighs.

'Pace, do you have a favourite smell?' I ask and he quietens apparently adjusting to the new direction of the conversation. He thinks for a moment,

'Yeah the smell of snow. I remember as a kid it started snowing and I opened the window wide and it just it filled my lungs, this smell, and I swear it was the snow...' he trails off and I look back at him long enough to kiss his cheek.

'Mine is bacon, hot and sizzling, wafting into my bedroom. Saturday night my mom would work at the bar but Sundays she'd cook breakfast for us. The smell would drift down the hall into my bedroom and wake me up. I always associate it with her. I used to stand in the kitchen talking to her about whatever and she'd tell me that one day she'd quit working at the bar and open her own B&B,' my voice cracks slightly but I really want him to know how much his effort has helped. He managed to get an architect friend of Doug's to draw up the plans for free and without him this wouldn't be happening. He truly is amazing.

'That's a nice memory,' he says. 'Smell really makes memories live don't you think?'

'More than anything,' I agree.

'I think it's nice that we're making your moms dream come true,' Pacey says.

'It's my dream as well now,' I add.

'And Bessie's.'

'Yeah and Bessies. You know what smells will always remind me of this summer?' I ask because I want to share this with him.

'Jasmine,' he says with a big smile,

'And sunscreen,' I laugh softly.

'Oh yeah definitely sunscreen, and Jens perfume of course. She wears a lot of the stuff.'

'Jack's deodorant,' I grin back at him and he rests his forehead against mine.

'And you, everything about you, from your skin to your hair, to the very intimate you...' Pacey's voice is low and it's making my hairs stand on end.

'And the smell of you,' I whisper back flushing slightly but Pacey just chuckles and kisses my nose, then my mouth until were just a tangle of limbs on the end of the dock.

'This is the end,' Jack intones to the music booming out of the stereo.

'This is the end, my friend,' I sing along. Pacey's stereo has lived at the pool with us and somehow The Doors "The End" is fitting to our mood.

'God, you two are depressing,' Jen complains.

'At least I didn't sob "this is the last first swim of the day,"' I mimic the cry she made earlier.

'And at least I didn't look at Joey's carefully made salami sandwich and get a lump in my throat,' Jack looks pointedly at Pacey. My cute boy looks back,

'I'll have you know that the salami sandwich held a special significance,' he says seriously.

'In that it would fill a hole in your stomach?' I ask with an arch of my eyebrows.

'Ha ha,' he gives me a sarcastic and scathing look, 'it was actually the fact that you made the sandwich that brought the lump to my throat,' he says and smiles at me. I smile back. It's true that I cook for no one normally but as it was the last day I decided to bring sandwiches.

'That's sweet,' I say and reward him with a big smile, but his lips twitch,

'Actually Jo, I was kind of worried because you made the sandwiches. I was remembering the last sandwich you made me back in eight grade and the food poisoning that followed,' he gives me a hopeful smile but I glare at him. Bastard.

'Fine,' I huff. 'I'll never cook for any of you again,' I slit my eyes at them all menacingly because Jack and Jen seem to think Pacey is hugely amusing.

'Is that a promise?' he asks with optimism.

'Go to hell,' I growl.

'Ah sweet Jo you know we love you, you just can't cook,' Pacey shifts uncomfortably.

'Are you saying the food at the Icehouse was bad?' I ask giving him a warning glare.

'To be fair Jo, you just served the food, you didn't cook it.'

'Man speaks the truth,' Jack nods.

'Trust you to take his side,' I glare at Jack, and Jen's about to speak. She opens her mouth but when I glare at her she promptly shuts it again.

'Come on Joey - admit you can't cook, it's no bad thing...' Pacey begins but I interrupt,

'Ok, I can't cook. I can't cook,' stupid dumb curse stealing my backbone, 'Happy? Satisfied? That's the last time I do something nice for you ungrateful sods.'

'So no dive of death as our big hurrah?' Pacey asks a little sarcastically clearly amused by the offence I've taken.

'Not a chance,' I shake my head. 'Besides the beers are our big hurrah,' I shoot Jen a smile.

'Damn you Pacey - I wanted to see Joey do that dive again,' Jen murmurs but I know she doesn't really because she winks at me.

'It's dangerous,' Pacey says in an unbelievably caring way. However, that's not the Pacey of old, the Pacey that would dare me.

'Are you saying that it's too dangerous?' I ask and he picks up on my tone immediately.

'Well no... I mean we all saw you do it but those rocks, well they're pretty big and in the way and...'

'I could do it again,' my eyes narrow. 'I have good aim you know.'

'But Jo...' Pacey protests.

'Well I could.'

'Fine, go make the dive of death!' Pacey mutters sarcastically holding up his hands as if he's given up. Nobody expects me to do it, but the damn boy would go and tell me to - I'm just hoping the curse doesn't interpret the whole death thing literally. I try to stay where I am but my feet start marching me up the hill to the diving point. 'Are you crazy woman?' Pacey calls chasing after me.

'Must be,' I answer.

'I didn't mean for you to do it Joey, please don't be stupid,' he pleads but we're at the top and I've thrown myself off. 'Don't hurt yourself Joey,' he shouts and I can hear his concern. Thank god he shouted that.

I land in the water and burst to the surface in near euphoria. That was awesome. Pacey is racing down the hill and Jack and Jen are on the banks cheering. Then they're all in the water with me and we're hugging and cheering. Jack is describing the dive and Jen is looking at me with admiration, while Pacey holds me close.

'That was amazing Joey,' Pacey whispers in my ear kissing it. 'Fucking fearless,' he shouts over Jacks reanimation.

'I rename you Joey the Brave,' Jack announces.

'Can't I be Joey the courageous?' I ask and Jack nods enthusiastically dubbing me with the nearby stick floating by.

'I name you Joey the Courageous human canon of Capeside!'

'Give Jen a name,' I tell Jack.

'Yeah I want a name,' Jen agrees floating on her back.

'Jen the wisdom filled Jedi,' Jack says after a moment of thought. It's perfect for her, she is the wise sage amongst us, but Pacey releases me and dunks Jack. Spluttering Jack resurfaces.

'Hey,' he complains to Pacey.

'That was a movie metaphor man, you deserved it,' Pacey shrugs easily and Jack grins,

'Pacey the Pathetic Poetic Poser,' Jack dubs him quickly.

'That's not a name - it's just alliteration,' Pacey immediately protests whilst Jen and I giggle.

'Fine, Jack Attack get a man in the sack,' Pacey quickly dubs Jack.

'No fair,' Jack moans and they begin to wrestle coming up with worse and worse names for each other. Jen and I swim to the edge and flop into our deckchairs letting the sun warm our water cooled bodies.

'So you seem pretty happy Joey,' Jen looks at me feigning lightness. We've had conversations like this all summer.

'Yeah,' I answer feigning disinterest.

'Joey, I think Jack and I have been very patient. We hang out with you guys just about every day and we've tried not to pry...'

'Oh really?' I turn to her incredulous.

'I can't help it if we failed.'

'You and Jack bring added value to the definition of nosy,' I tell her.

'You've been coy about this all long enough, I want to know about Pacey and you so just tell me everything Joey,' she spouts in frustration. Jack and Pacey are still in the water now clearly enjoying coming up with ruder and ruder names for each other. Jen and I have some time for female intimacy.

'He's the most annoying boy in the world,' I begin because she told me to tell her everything. She's about to say something, some witty retort no doubt but my mouth keeps moving, 'and when I see him I want him so much I feel like I might combust if he doesn't come near me. It's almost physical torture to not be able to see him or touch him. He's being so Pacey about everything, so thoughtful, so romantic, but also so cheeky about it, so it doesn't feel cliché even though it is. He's driving me crazy, making my body go crazy, and when we're together I just want him to rip off my clothes and have his way with me as per classic romantic novel. In fact as per pornographic film, well maybe not a porno but something in which he just has sex with me, a lot. I'm scared my attraction to Pacey is dominating my sense of reason. I am so far in love with him I don't think I could fall any further and then every time he smiles, or says something, or touches me, or gives me a look that's just for me, I fall further. And it's a black hole I'm falling into Jen. If feels like an endless black hole that you can only fall into and never climb back out of it.

I'm terrified because I'm so in love with him and he doesn't know and he may not feel the same and it feels like, well it feels like it will never end...' I trail off.

'Wow you sure know how to tell it all. Now how about you tell Pacey all that,' she says and it sounds like a request, though I don't think she meant it that way, and I look at her with a flash of panic. It's an order or something like it because thanks to the curse I jump out of my seat and head for Pacey. I look back at Jen with complete fear on my face and she furrows her brow in confusion and question.

I wade through the water until I reach Pacey and Jack. They stop their argument because it is apparently clear I am on a mission. I look at Pacey and I begin to talk,

'Pacey you're the most annoying boy in the world and when I see you I want you so much I feel like I might combust if you don't come near me. It's almost a physical torture to not be able to see you or touch you. You're being so Pacey about everything so thoughtful, so romantic, but also so cheeky about it so it doesn't feel cliché even though it is. You're driving me crazy, making my body go crazy and when we're together I just want you to rip off my clothes and have your way with me as per classic romantic novel. In fact as per pornographic film, well maybe not a porno but something in which you just have sex with me, a lot. I'm scared my attraction to you is dominating my sense of reason. I am so far in love with you I don't think I could fall any further and then every time you smile, or say something and I mean anything, or touch me, or give me a look that's just for me I fall further. And it's a black hole I'm falling into Pacey. If feels like an endless, but very pleasant, black hole that you can only fall into and never climb back out of it.

I'm terrified because I'm so in love with you and you don't know it, well until now, and maybe you don't feel the same and it feels like, well it feels like this feeling will never end...' I trail off. Pacey stares at me, blue eyes wide, and jaw agape. He certainly wasn't expecting that!

Pacey and I are staring at each other in silence. Jack rather unsubtly exits the water and joins Jen on the deckchairs to watch this unfold.

I look at the water and force back tears because he hasn't said anything. I'm not sorry I'm in love with him, he's truly special, but I hate the curse for forcing me to telling him before I'm ready, perhaps before he's ready. It's not Jens fault but really I don't think I'll cope if he says he doesn't feel the same - if he rejects me. The thought of Pacey rejecting me makes me realize how different my feelings for Dawson were from this. This is true love. Love at its purest.

I wish he would say something. I can't look at him because while he's silent and I don't see his face there's hope.

'You're sure?' he says eventually, his voice cracking slightly and when I finally meet his eyes, I find these two cobalt orbs boring into my soul.

'Yes,' I say eventually and then this smile just spreads all over his face and it seems to radiate from him. Suddenly I'm in his arms and he's kissing me all over. 'Why didn't you say so?'

'I thought I just did,' I mumble.

'Yeah,' he grins.

'So...' I venture as he stares down at me still grinning.

'What's the matter Joey?' he asks suddenly realizing I'm not smiling back in the same giddy fashion.

'How do you feel?' I ask in a small voice.

'You really are crazy Jo!' Pacey stares at me. 'I thought it was obvious how I feel, how I've felt...I love you Joey.'

He says the words and the spontaneous happiness he had captures me as we fall into this kiss that makes the world around us fade into oblivion. The big hurrah.