SM owns everything Twilighty... Just making that clear, lol.

10.

Dad had a heart attack.

We're in the hospital and Edward and Ellie are by my side.

It's an unpleasant way to meet my family, yet I'm grateful he's here.

Ellie is a little bewildered. She had no idea he'd be coming over so imagine her surprise when I wake her up to tell her about Charlie, and she ends up also seeing Edward in our house.

I wanted her to stay home, but she refused, wanting to be here by my side if anything happened. She's not stupid. Young, yes, stupid, definitely not. She loves her grandfather more than anything and knowing what may happen to him makes her cling to me like second skin. She followed me downstairs and just gave Edward a quizzical look without uttering a single word as she followed us out the door to Edward's car.

I'm in shock as I try to process this all.

A heart attack? He hadn't been sick, maybe a cold here and there, but nothing major.

Silent tears stream down my cheeks and I can't seem to stop them.

Moments ago, I was so happy. Giddy, even. That feeling you get when everything is just...right. Edward and I, in my house just going with instinct and pure lust; hands roaming and hearts beating frantically. I should have known it was all too good to be true.

And now, it's all a wash. All those emotions have been replaced with some sort of disastrous mess that I don't know how to cope with.

Edward sits quietly and keeps Ellie and Alice busy while Rose and I try to talk to doctors and nurses about dad's condition. They aren't quite sure what to tell us other that he's holding on. For now.

Mom is in the room with him, but we aren't allowed to go in there more than one person at a time.

I feel sick. There I was at home in my own little world, dry humping my not-quite-maybe boyfriend and my father may be dying.

I look at Edward and I don't know about anything anymore.

He offers me a soft smile, and then goes back to his card game. I think Alice is winning. I'm not sure. He's so good with them. He's so good. Too good, even. I see it in his eyes, the concern he shows for someone he barely knows. It's overwhelming.

I'm torn. More tears run down my cheeks and Rose rubs my back soothingly. We're all upset about dad, but I can't help but feel like I've been so selfish lately.

"He'll be okay, Bella," Rose says softly. Emmett wraps his arms around her and I watch them lean into each other for support.

I look over at Edward again and as much as I want what Rose and Emmett have, I'm not sure I can let myself have that. I'm conflicted. All my emotions coming at once; bubbling to the surface and threatening to boil over. I don't like it.

I've never felt this way. Not even when I was going through hell with Alec, I just dealt with it and moved on.

Which shows how much I truly loved him.

This is different. This makes me realize I feel more for Edward than I should in such a small period of time. This scares me shitless.

I meet Rose's tired eyes and sigh. "I hope so, but it's all too much, you know?"

"I know." She nods then leans over closer to me. "This may not be the right time or place," she whispers, "but your Edward is really hot."

I see Emmett roll his eyes, but her comment lightens the mood a little bit and I'm able to crack a small smile.

I'm tired, it's late and I think I've cried enough tonight to warrant a good night's sleep. I'll probably end up calling in sick tomorrow.

Mom comes back after speaking to one of the doctors and tells us that dad's doing a little better. He needs his rest and there is no use for us to be there. She wants us to go home. There's really nothing we can actually do for him and we need our rest.

She insists on staying at the hospital and says she'll call us with news as soon as the doctors tell her anything.

My mom is so strong. I look up to her for strength in a situation like this. Instead of breaking down, she gathered herself, stood up and took matters into her own hands.

I know she's hurting, I can see it in her eyes as she hugs me and whispers that Edward is a gentleman for coming here with me. She even slips in that he's very handsome. She wipes the tears from my eyes and tells me everything is going to be okay; that things like this happen in life and that we need to accept it.

I don't know how she does it. I know she loves my father more than anything, yet she's able to stay so calm and focused while I'm a mess over the whole thing.

Edward and Ellie join us and mom hugs Ellie and tells her not to worry, that dad is a strong man and that he'll be okay. Ellie takes it in stride but I know she's worried. She hasn't cried though, so I guess that's a good thing under these circumstances. I'm not sure how I would have handled that if she'd broken down too.

I sniffle and smile and kiss mom's cheek before joining Edward and Ellie by the elevator.

Tonight wasn't a night for grand meetings, but since the girls already knew him, he was actually very helpful in looking after them and distracting them while Rose and I tried to be there for mom even if she didn't seem to need us.

As much as I hate to admit it, having Edward there isn't so bad. I feel torn and helpless and I don't know how to deal with these new emotions.

I'm quiet on the way home. Probably quieter than I've even been around Edward. He doesn't say much either, and I guess there's not much he can say. Nothing is going to make this situation any better, unless my father pulls though without any more complications, but reality is a cruel bitch at times.

Ellie hasn't asked any questions and I suppose I have Edward to thank for that. I heard him speaking to the girls earlier. They were worried about their grandfather, but he kept calm and spoke to them in a way that soothed their worries without being condescending. He is a born teacher; I bet all the kids adore him. Even the delinquents.

"Thank you, Edward," I tell him when we round the street to my house.

"It's no problem, really." He keeps his eyes trained on the road and when we get to the house I tell Ellie to go inside and wait for me.

When she's safely inside the house, I turn in my seat and look at Edward. He keeps his eyes on me and I can tell he's very worried. The crease in his forehead is deep and my fingers twitch, I want to sooth it to make it go away. I want all of this to go away and just start over and be in his arms again.

"I'm sorry about all this." I bow my head and look at my lap. "I know tonight didn't turn out the way it was meant to."

I hope he understands. I know he does. I just need the words to be out there.

He finally mirrors my position in the car and takes my hands in his. "I know this is hard. I can't imagine if that was my dad..." he shakes his head and a grim look passes over his features. "I'm here, okay. I'll be here for you, Bella. Will you let me?"

The treacherous tears roll down my cheeks in earnest. I know what he's asking. He wants me to let him in fully. I'd been keeping part of myself off, opening up to him only in certain ways. Letting him see bits and pieces but not the whole me.

The whole me is what is scary.

The whole me is what made me wait off before I called him.

The whole me, is this insecure single mom with self image issues and a past that leaves me feeling like it's hard to believe that anyone would even want her.

Me. Me. Me.

I haven't done anything for myself in so long, it feels bad to even think it.

But I need this. I want this. With him.

For me.

"I'll try." I squeeze his hands and sniffle. I lean forward and press my forehead to his chest, I need the closeness. A hug. Warmth. Comfort. I need it, crave it and miss it so, so much, it hurts.

This is what I've missed about being with someone.

Watching Emmett comfort Rose made my heart hurt.

Having Edward's arms surround me and holding me while I sob into his chest and let it all out feels amazing. Part of me wants to run upstairs and crawl into bed and sob until I fall asleep, but then that wouldn't lead me anywhere. This is what I need, his soothing words of "it'll be okay, Bella" and "I'm here for you, sweetheart" make my heart swell.

I can't stay out here all night and I have to go inside and see if Ellie is okay, but I also don't want to leave Edward's arms. "I have to go check on Ellie." I have to be a mother first and see if she's okay.

"Do you want me to stay?" His eyes search my face. I must look like shit. My eyes feel all puffy and they're probably red. I haven't cried this much...ever. Not even when I found Alec in bed with another woman.

"You have to work tomorrow. I'll be okay," I tell him and take a deep breath. I want him to stay. I do, but I won't tell him that.

"Bella, please," he pleads. I close my eyes. He already reads me like an open book. The thought scares me.

"I'll be fine. I'll call you tomorrow or you call me. I'll call in sick and check on dad. Mr. Newton will probably know about him being in the hospital before I even tell him." I shake my head and chuckle humorlessly. "Small town life and all," I add.

He presses a sweet kiss to my cheek, his breath fanning over my face and making me lightheaded as he whispers, "I'm here for you, Bella."

With a final nod I exit his car and run up to the house.

Thankfully, Ellie is in bed and asleep already.

So much to process in so little time, but the moment my head hits the pillow, I'm out like a light.

Don't hate me...

Boobie gropes and squishy hugs to each and veryone of you! :o)