I must be in a really good mood today because here is Chapter 10.
Santana's POV:
I barely spoke during lunch. I chose to listen to the three of them yammer on about their lives while I thought about my girlfriend returning from France expecting to hear stories of my trip home. When we all stood to walk toward the dress shop, which was right down the street, Quinn grabbed my arm and pulled me to walk with her behind Rachel and Tina.
"Santana, we have to at least talk about this." She let go of my arm and we started to walk a few feet behind them.
"We already did and I told you what I wanted, Quinn."
"Why are you mad at me? I'm responsible for my part, Santana, but we both wanted it last night."
I stopped walking and looked ahead at Tina and Rachel who hadn't noticed. Quinn stopped and stood in front of me.
"I am mad at you, Quinn. I'm fucking mad at the world right now because I am not this person anymore. I'm not the girl who fucks around because she can and I'm not the girl who hurts her girlfriend and that's what you've made me. You've made me that girl again and I don't want to be her. You made me remember what it was like to have you…" My voice had gotten louder and I looked ahead to the two girls who had yet to notice their counterparts were missing in action.
"Santana, I'm sorry. What else do you want me to say? I told you I was sorry last night and you said it wasn't my fault and now you're pissed. I don't know what to do, but I just got you back and I don't want to lose you again. I get that you're with someone and I don't want to mess that up for you, but I at least want my friend back." I could feel her eyes on me as I stared vacantly across the street.
"Why couldn't you come back a year ago, Q?" I walked off without waiting for an answer because I knew she understood what I was saying.
She followed slowly behind and we made our way into the store.
"Where were you guys? Tina's already trying on her dress." Rachel looked up from a rack of white dresses to greet us. "Santana, do you think you'll wear white at your wedding to Olivia?"
I sat on the small sofa in front of the dressing room. Quinn stood by Rachel and pretended to search for dresses.
"Berry, just shut the hell up about my non-existent wedding, okay? I'm not in the fucking mood." I rolled my head back against the sofa and felt my mind spin to the point where I considered vomiting just to try to get it to stop.
"Fine. Fine. I don't understand what the problem is though. You were talking about it last month at dinner. Olivia even brought up kids and you didn't run out of the house. You even bought a-"
"Guys… what do you think?" Tina walked out of the dressing room and stood on the six-inch pedestal in a flowing white strapless number that really worked on her.
"It's beautiful, Tina." Quinn walked toward her and starting looking more closely at the lace patterned around the bodice.
"You look great," I added because I've never been the girl that's really cared about weddings or wedding dresses. She did look great, but I really didn't want to be here.
"Quinn, what do you want your dress to look like?" Rachel asked her as she knelt down to help Tina try on shoes to go with her dress.
"Oh, I don't know. I haven't really thought about it." Quinn walked away back toward the dress rack.
"Really? I find that hard to believe," Rachel returned.
"I guess it will be different if I ever actually get engaged, but it's not really a thing to worry about now."
I leaned up in my seat.
"You're such a liar, Q."
She looked at me and for maybe the first time today, I actually looked her in the eye.
"What?" She questioned me.
"I remember you telling me all about your wedding day once." I knew I was calling her out, but I didn't care.
"That was a million years ago, San and I was drunk. I don't even remember everything I said. Besides, a lot has changed in my life since then."
I stood and walked over to her slowly.
"So, you're saying everything you told me you wanted you no longer want?"
I stood next to her and played with one of the hangers with my fingers.
"I'm saying that was a million years ago."
She just walked back over toward Tina.
"What did you want, Quinn?" Rachel asked as she stood to look at the shoes she had chosen while Tina turned to check herself out in the mirror.
"Yeah Quinn, tell her what you wanted…" I egged her on.
Santana's POV:
About 6 Years Ago:
The party or really the gathering had finally ended. Quinn's mom had left to go to her hotel despite Quinn telling her she could stay at the apartment. Quinn had been different since she came out of her room earlier. I'm not sure what her call was about, but as she downed her third shot, she seemed like she was fine now and I figured she'd tell me if it was important.
"Come on, San. Drink up! We're celebrating here," she encouraged as she poured another round for herself and pointed to my still full shot glass on the table. We were sitting on the couch with the music still playing in the background and the trash from the party still spread around the apartment.
"Woman, you are drunk." I laughed at her and she downed her drink.
"So, I just graduated from Yale. Drink with me."
I took the shot glass and poured the tequila down my throat only slightly wincing at the taste.
"There. Happy?"
"No, you've got to catch the hell up." She poured me another shot and we took the next round together.
"You're such a lightweight, Fabray."
She leaned back against the couch and I slid the glasses back and lifted her feet so she could set them on the table. I did the same.
"What do you want, San?" She looked over at me.
"What?" I laughed. She always got all deep when she drank to much.
"What do you want… in your life?" She leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder. She also always got tired when she drank.
"I don't know. Do I have to decide that tonight?"
"No, but you're 22. Don't you think it's time you start thinking about things like that?"
"Why don't you tell me what you want? Maybe it'll give me some ideas."
"I see what you did there." She caught me trying to cheat my way out of her question. "But I will answer you anyway. I want a successful career, which I'm working on right now. I want the marriage and the kids, but I think you know all that already."
"Slow down there, Quinn. Greedy much?" I joked with her as I moved so I could put my arm around her and make myself more comfortable, but also because I really just wanted to put my arm around her.
"How does that make me greedy?"
"You just want everything."
"You should want everything too," she told me.
"I don't think that's gonna happen for me," I admitted. I failed to tell her that it probably won't happen to me because she's the one I'd want those things with and that's not going to happen so I'm in that 'drown my misery in other girls' phase of my life.
She lifted her head and looked up at me.
"Why not?"
"I don't know. I haven't graduated from school. I don't know that I'm really the marrying type and even if I am, as you always like to point out, I'm a huge pain in the ass. Who am I going to get to marry me?" Even though I wasn't exactly truthful with my feelings about her, I was always my most honest with Quinn because she knew me the best. I'd never say anything like what I'd just said to anyone else... ever.
She looked at me with her semi-glazed over eyes, which just made her look even cuter to me.
"I'd marry you."
I pulled my arm from around her and put it back in my lap while I laughed at her. She says stuff like that periodically and I laugh it off, but it physically hurts when it happens. Earlier, when I was running late and I asked why I put up with her, she said it was because I loved her and while she thought it was just a random comment about our close friendship, I thought about how true it actually was and how much I wanted to just lean in, kiss her, and tell her how I feel. I didn't though because I am a coward.
"You're drunk."
"So, I have to be drunk to marry you?" She winked at me.
"Please, I'd have to be drunk to marry you. You'd be lucky to marry me." I smiled as I poured myself another shot and downed it quickly.
"I know." She said it seriously and when I leaned back, her arm was over the back of the couch and I set my head back on top of it. God, this feels good.
"Fine. Tell me what our hypothetical wedding would look like and I'll let you know if I'd even show up." I looked over at her.
"Well, I don't think either one of us can wear white."
I laughed so loud it was basically a cackle.
"Yeah, that is very true. We've both basically been de-virginized twice." I loved that I got to at least take care of one of those de-virginizinations for her.
"And I want to be comfortable so I'm thinking maybe we'd do it on the beach or something so we can be barefoot and wear short dresses."
My head went to her shoulder.
"You should wear one of those sundresses you're so known for." She poked me in the side. "What? I'm serious. You look hot in those things, Q."
"Then, why do you always make fun of me when I wear them?"
"Because that's what I do. If I'm not making fun of you, then you should worry," I professed.
"Whatever. I'll wear a sundress if you wear one of those tight ones you're known for."
"Obviously," I replied sarcastically. "Who's performing this ceremony?"
"Why don't we have Brittany get ordained? That would be the most interesting wedding in the history of weddings."
I sat up and pushed her backwards so she was lying down. Her t-shirt rode up a little and it took everything in me not to push it up further, but I don't just want another drunk hook-up with this girl.
"Why not just let Lord Tubbington marry us, Quinn?"
Her legs were in my lap and I put my arms over them.
"You're right. That would be the most interesting wedding. What's the first song we're going to dance too?"
"Baby Got Back. Of course, that's mostly about me." I explained.
"We're coming back to that one." She laughed.
My phone buzzed on the table. I leaned over her legs to pick it up off the table and saw it was a message from Gillian.
"Maybe we won't have too. Maybe Gillian and I will get married instead." I joked.
She stopped laughing.
"What did she say?" She asked me.
"She's excited about our date and wants to know when I'm getting home because she can't wait to kiss me. Damn right she can't wait." I typed a message back that I thought we should start the date with the kiss. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they kiss. For example, Quinn was an amazing kisser. Well, she was amazing at a lot of things and kissing was just one of them.
"You're really excited about this, huh?" She sat up and removed her legs from my lap.
"Yeah, she's fucking hot." That was true, but just tell her, Lopez. Tell her how you feel already. Tell her Gillian is just a distraction.
"You think you'll propose on the first date?" She smiled and sat back on the couch.
"God no. I said she was hot and I like her, but I don't want a fucking fiancé. I don't even really want a girlfriend. I'm still enjoying this being hot and young thing. Gotta take advantage of it while we can, right?" I should probably just tell her that she's the only one these days that makes me want a relationship.
"Yeah, I guess." She stood and stretched. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed."
"Hey Q?" I looked up at her.
"Yeah?"
"I had fun creating a fake wedding with you."
"Yeah, me too. Fake marrying you was fun." She walked into the bedroom and I went back to texting Gillian wishing I had no reason too, but I at least had something to look forward too when I got back home. Maybe sex with Gillian would take my mind off the one I can't have at least for a little while.