A/N: It's been awhile once again, but I finally finished another chapter that I'm really happy with. I wanted this chapter to be light in tone, since the past few have been rather serious. This chapter was a lot of fun to write, but it's also a very crucial chapter because it sets up for the climax.
Anyway, thank you to everyone who has been following this story; it's literally been months that I've dedicated to this fanfic. So please read & review, but most impirtantly, enjoy!
WINTER
I opened my eyes and took in the beautiful sight before me. Logan lied there, breathing slowly, softly. His raven hair was a beautiful stark contrast against his fair complexion. His skin was so smooth it almost looked porcelain. I surveyed his body—even though I knew it so perfectly well—and noticed his feet poking out from the fleece blanket we had wrapped ourselves in. I smiled to myself and wrapped my arms around him. I breathed in his delicious scent and let out a soft moan, which caused him to stir a bit. I tensed up; afraid that I had awakened him, but he soon fell still again and resumed his rhythmic breathing. I then noticed my morning wood, currently pressed against my boyfriend's body. A few thoughts and images instantly sprung to mind, but I thought it would be best to let Logan rest, especially after the wild night we already had last night…
Instead, I forced my hormonally fueled body to get up. The fact that our alarm clock read a quarter past 11 was another reason to get up. I stealthy sneaked out of bed. Logan rolled over once and pulled our blanket up to his chin; he even looked perfect asleep. I grabbed a clean t-shirt from the stack of clothes lying on Logan's former bed. It was funny how his bed had turn into a catch-all pile for clothes, socks, underwear and towels; you could hardly even see the mattress anymore. We shared a bed now, so there was no point in wasting that space, but it still made me smile knowing that Logan would be in my bed every night. I threw on some sweat pants just for good measure, since my erection had yet to go away. I peeked out our window and felt a cold shiver just looking at the undoubtedly frigid winter air. The clouds loomed high, but full and grey. The week had been a record-setting cold for L.A. I found it strange how it happened to be the coldest winter in L.A. when we had a summer that felt like one of the hottest since we'd lived there. Is it cold enough for it to snow? I thought to myself. It would be next to impossible, since it's been decades since L.A. has seen real snow from what all the residents have told me. I breathed against the glass to frost it up, and drew a heart with K + L in the center of it. Juvenile, I know, but it was the little things that made me smile.
I brushed my teeth and ran a comb through my mess of a hair. I splashed some very cold water on my face, and headed out the apartment. I headed for the lobby to pick up our mail, which had probably been piling up. I had a feeling that Logan and my mom were the only ones who attempted to get our mail on regular basis. Surely James and Carlos couldn't be entrusted to do so. When I was in the lobby I was made aware of my rather homely get-up—a holey t-shirt and old sweatpants, without any footwear but my socks, no less. I should have considered what I was wearing, but then I shrugged realizing I didn't actually care.
"Good morning, Mr. Bitters!" I said when I was at the front desk, probably a little more chipper than necessary.
"Good morning to you, Trouble #1," Bitters said sardonically. Bitters had decided to give the members of Big Time Rush nicknames, not very original nicknames, but nicknames nonetheless. Somehow I got the top honor of being Trouble #1. I suppose it was because Bitters saw me as the group's leader, and therefore the instigator. At first I wasn't sure if I should have been offended or flattered. I've come to like the little pet name he conjured up, so I'm generally unfazed by it.
"I was wondering if there's any mail for 2J?"
"Oh, there's mail alright… Be right back," Bitters said with a patronizing smile. He wasn't kidding about the mail. He had returned with an oversized canvas bag stuffed with mail, looking like something you'd find at UPS rather than an apartment complex. My eyes widened.
"Uhhh, this… This is all ours?" I pointed at the bag rather embarrassedly.
"Well unless someone else is living in your old apartment now, then yes, Trouble #1, this is all yours," he said through an annoyingly fixed smile behind the smartass comment. Then he shoved the bag towards my chest and chimed, "Have a Palm Woods day!" Then his fake perky smiled dropped and he was frowning once again.
I gave Bitters a sheepish smirk and carried the bag back to the apartment. I made a mental note to let the guys know we would have to check our mail more than once a week… especially to James and Carlos. And like a self-fulfilling wish James and Carlos were standing there when the elevator doors opened on our floor.
"Good mor—hey… whatcha got there, Santie Claus?" James joked.
"Ha ha… very clever. And actually, I've got tons of gifts for you, James Diamond, since you've been such a good boy this year," I joked back.
"Ooh! Anything in there for me, Santa? Like a sippy cup from Amazon, perhaps?" Carlos asked, seeming genuinely anxious. James and I looked at him confused. "What? It's for… Katie."
"Katie…?" I asked blankly.
"Hey! Don't judge, alright!"
I shook my head to erase what could possibly be a frightening image of Carlos drinking from a sippy cup. "Anyway… we got to do a better job at checking the mail periodically. And by 'we' I mean you two," I directed.
"Hey! I check the mail!" James said defensively.
"Oh, yeah? When?" I tested.
"Uhh… That one time. You know, when there was… mail. And stuff."
"Yeah, that's what I thought," I said triumphantly. James just rolled his eyes. "Carlos, please check the mail?"
"Will do, Kendall!"
"Thanks, man."
"Now can I just see if there's that package…?" Now I rolled my eyes.
"Be my guest."
"Thank you! Ah-ha! Here it is!" Carlos jumped hugging the box to chest like it was a prized possession. To Carlos, it probably was though. "Gotta go!" And then he ran back into the apartment.
"What? Hey! Carlos!" James yelled. "See what you did, Kendall? Now I don't have anyone to spot me at the gym! Thanks!" James huffed and got into the elevator, and proceeded to smash the buttons in a melodramatic fashion. I couldn't help but chuckle a little as the elevator closed with a very angry James aboard.
When I got back to the apartment mom and Katie were putting their coats on.
"Whoa! What's with the bag?" Katie asked.
"Apparently we need to check our mail more often," I said matter-of-factly.
"What? But I just got our mail, like, two days ago!" Mom said.
"Huh… I just figured no one had checked it for it to get piled up like this," I said looking at the bag.
"Have you considered the fact that maybe it's because you guys are becoming more famous now, big brother?" Katie asked.
"Huh, I guess not." She rolled her eyes at me. "So you actually think most of these are from fans?"
"Yes, big brother!"
"Either that or we have a lot of bills this month…" mom added. "Anyway, don't you boys get all your fan mail sent to Rocque Records?" Mom asked.
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
"You honestly think that some crazed fans wouldn't eventually be able to find out where you guys live?" Katie suggested. I lifted up the bag, suddenly feeling terrified that I would have to go through that much fan mail.
"Well, have the guys help you sort through all the mail, sweetie," mom suggested, as though she had read my mind once again. "Your sister and I will be back in a bit. And Kendall, don't forget to put all the important bills on the counter please."
"Will do, mom." She then kissed me on the cheek and she and Katie left. I took the bag over to the dining table and poured all the contents of the bag out. I sighed to myself.
"Whoa… what's all this?" Logan said from behind. He rubbed his eyes, clearly still half asleep. He still looked like perfection.
"Morning, sleepy head."
"I know. I don't know what's with me lately," Logan yawned. "I'm becoming you." Then he gave me a kiss. He tasted wonderful. "So where is everyone? And seriously, what is all this?"
"James is down at the gym I think, mom and Katie literally just left, and Carlos is with his sippy cup." Logan looked confused with the last part, and for good reason, but he didn't press the subject. "And all this is apparently two days-worth of fan mail." Logan's eyes widened.
"You can't be serious."
"Oh, but I am," I said with an ironic grin.
"I thought all fan mail gets sent to Rocque Records?"
"Katie suspects that one or a few of our fans have found out our address. How? I have no clue."
"Yikes… our fans are… devoted."
"That's one word for it."
"I guess we should start sorting through all of this then?" I look at the mounds of letters, bills, packages, and postcards and shivered.
"I guess better sooner than later," I gulped. Then Carlos walked out from his room and took a swig from his... sippy cup. Carlos actually drank from a sippy cup.
"See you guys later," he waved with a smile, like nothing was wrong with that picture.
Logan appeared dazed and confused, "Did he just—?"
"Don't even ask," I interrupted. We got back to the task at hand and decided it would be easiest to separate the packages first, then the postcards, and then all the bills would go to mom. I'm sure she was really thrilled to see those.
After about half an hour of sifting through all the mail, Logan brought over sandwiches for us to munch on while we continued to read all the fan mail. We wrote back to the ones we were able to. Some were meant for the group as a whole and some were for specific members. Logan took the time to write back to as many of the ones for him as possible; the boy really had the patience and compassion of a saint. I could barely sign my autograph, let alone a paragraph without my wrist and hands straining, but I continued with as many as I could. We left the ones for Carlos and James in a separate pile. I snickered to myself at the thought of them doing what we were doing later.
"You do realize that you're not going to be graded on any of this, right?" I joked to Logan.
"Yes, I know," he smiled. "But some of these fans have such sweet things to say that how can you not want to share some kind words?" I felt the urge to kiss him, so I did.
"This is why you're my better half. But seriously, I love our fans just as much as you do, believe me. But I'm not sure I even know how to respond to some of these letters. They're not asking for anything; it's more like a rant," I said as I picked up a bubblegum pink postcard with glitter dusted all over it. "Like this one for example. 'Dear BTR, I just wanna say I luv you sooo much, blah, blah, blah, I have all your CDs, blah, blah, blah, my ovaries explode every time I see you guys.' Like, what does that even mean?" Logan began laughing. I guess it was rather amusing for him. I suppose it wasn't all that bad, at least Logan and I got to spend time with each other. Well, and our hundreds of fans that decided to write us.
"Well, okay, that one is a tad much. But what about this one?" He reads a letter printed on salmon colored paper. "'Dear BTR, I saw you guys in concert for your All Over The World Tour when you were in Little Rock, Arkansas. That was the first concert I have ever attended. I wanted to tell you guys that that concert changed my life and I will never forget that night. I love all of you, and please continue to make the music you do, and please, please come back to Little Rock.' Signed, 'Amanda J. Rusher for life'."
"Ok, I admit, that one is super sweet, but I still don't know what to say to half of these."
"Maybe just write… 'Thanks for being a fan'?" Logan suggested.
"That works. Now if only I can turn that into a stamp…" Logan glared at me. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding… Mostly." We both laughed. "Maybe some of these aren't even for us. Maybe some of these were sent here by mistake. Maybe they're for… Rob Lowe?"
"Rob Lowe. Seriously?"
"Ok, maybe not Rob Lowe, but you know what I mean! Some of these aren't addressed to any one of us in particular. Like these here! A lot of them keep mentioning something about a Kogan."
"What's a Kogan?"
"Beats me," I shrugged. Then, James and Carlos finally returned. "Oh, perfect timing!" I shot up from my seat. "Now you guys can take over with the fan mail. Logan and I were about to take a break anyway," I rubbed in.
"What? No way, dude! I am not sitting here for hours and writing back to all these," James protested. Why did that not surprise me?
"James, we have to. They're from our fans," Carlos reasoned.
"Ugh… fine," James gave in, knowing Carlos' logical was right. "Don't we have, oh I don't know… a person that does this for us?"
"Oh c'mon, James. Are you that spoiled now? It's not so bad," Logan stated.
"And if it makes you feel any better, James, your pile is smaller than Carlos'!" I added. I smiled because I knew this would tick him off.
"What? Carlos has more fan mail than me?"
"I have more fan mail than James?" Carlos beamed.
"You certainly do, my friend," Logan confirmed. "So I'd get started if I were you," he suggested with a wink.
"Yay! I love fan mail!" Carlos immediately sat down and seemed authentically excited to write back to all his fan mail.
"There has to be a mistake! How can I have less fan mail than any of you? Have you seen my face?" James motioned to his face with both hands, and wiggled his fingers for dramatic effect like usual. Logan and I simply rolled our eyes.
"Wow, that's a lot of letters…" mom's voice boomed from the front door. She and Katie were carrying grocery bags in.
"Oh! Let me help you with those, Mrs. Knight," Logan offered, jumping out of his seat.
"Thank you, Logan. You're the only one that ever offers to help," mom stated. Somehow she seemed to be directing the statement more towards rest of us than Logan, but Carlos was face deep writing to his fans, James was still pouting, and my wrists were too sore to jerk off let alone carry heavy bags. Leave it to Logan to be the saint.
"Ooh, can I help with the fan mail?" Katie asked.
"Yeah! Anything! Do anything, because at this rate, we won't be done until Christmas," I said.
"Well, you'll have to do the ones that aren't asking for our autograph, unless you know how to forge our signatures," Carlos suggested.
"I do," Katie reluctantly admitted.
"Wait, what? Katie, how on Earth do you know how to forge all our signatures?" I asked, worried but slightly impressed.
"Easy. I've just watched you guys sign all those photos of yourselves and I've replicated it," she confessed proudly.
"Yeah, and the question is… why exactly?" James pressed.
"Well, I have all this BTR merchandise I wanted to sell and it was just easier to forge your signatures than to ask."
"And you weren't even going to tell us?" I asked bewildered.
"Well if I did then I would have had to split the profits with you, duh!" I rolled my eyes. Typical scamming little sister of mine.
"So you signed all that merchandise by yourself?" James asked.
"Pfft! Don't be ridiculous, I forged your signatures and then made a stamp out of them," Katie admitted, again rather proudly.
"I knew it! See, Logan! I told you we should have made a stamp!" I huffed towards the kitchen.
"What are you rambling about, sweetie?" Mom asked.
"Oh, nothing. Just Katie, trying to take advantage of the situation like always." I playfully glared at Katie as she sat down and placed pre-signed photos of us into envelopes to be sent back to eager fans.
"Well wash up, sweetie. I'll start on dinner," she said, practically undaunted by what I just said. She was just as used to Katie's profiteering as I was.
"Need any help, Mrs. Knight?" Logan offered once again.
"I'd love it if you could, Logan," mom cooed. Logan was definitely her favorite. I wouldn't be surprised if she liked him more than me even. "Oh, did you boys remember to separate the bills for me like I asked?"
"Yeah, mom, they're right over there on the kitchen counter."
"Thanks, boys." She quickly scanned through her much smaller pile. "Oh, looks like you guys missed one. This one's for Logan." Mom handed the envelope to Logan.
"Hm, I don't know how we missed that one. We must've accidentally put it into the wrong pile earlier," I said.
"No, this isn't a fan letter, Kendall," Logan said rather seriously. Suddenly, the room fell silent. The pens Carlos and James were using paused from scratching away at the papers they were writing on. Mom and Katie had stopped and stared at us as well.
"Oh? What is it then?" I tried to calmly ask.
"Remember when I signed up for that internship with FDA?"
"The Food and Drug Administration?" I said scratching my head.
"What? No, not that one! The Future Doctors of America!"
"Ohhh... OHH! You got in?"
"Well, I don't know obviously. I haven't opened it yet." I noticed his hands trembling slightly.
"You're a genius, remember? You got in," I stated confidently.
I then realized I was holding my breath. Of course I wanted my boyfriend to be happy, to get accepted into the medical field. After all, this had been his dream since we were kids. While the rest of us pretended to be astronauts, cowboys, and superheroes, Logan always wanted to literally save lives. Typical, compassionate Logan… But now a small selfish part of me wanted him to be rejected. I wanted him to stay here with me, and if he got accepted then that hope would be squashed. I felt like a bad boyfriend for wishing Logan's failure just so I could keep him, but it didn't matter. It was futile to think that way because we all knew there was no way anyone would turn down someone has brilliant as Logan. In that envelope was Logan's acceptance letter into the program. I instantly decided in that moment that I hated mail.
Logan looked up at me briefly. He was just as scared, but for differently reasons, I'm sure. He slid one finger under the flap of the envelope, and easily opened it. He pulled out the crisp, thick cream colored paper, while all eyes were fixed on him, and the only thought I had on my mind was that on that piece of paper were the words powerful enough to take Logan away from me…
Do you think Logan gets accepted for the internship program?* And if so, what do you think will be his decision as to stay or leave? I'd love to hear what you all think, so please review!
*I already have the answer in the next chapter btw ;)