AN Classic: Those of you who haven't beaten Splatoon's singleplayer campaign, turn back now and play it, because I don't wish to spoil any of you. Or skip to the next chapter after the next chapter if it's out, this is probably gonna be a two chapter deal. ...If you're still going to read without playing, go to the naughty corner now. :( Nah just kidding. But you've been warned!
Splatoon: The Bate Bros.
The Multiplayer Campaign
"Get back here, YOU SLIMY LITTLE HIPSTERS!"
Splin and Sharq were currently running from a giant floating DJ Octopus with titanic steel rocket fists and a DJ Booth, punching at the two. Video games are weird.
"Gah! W-We didn't mean anything by what we did, honest!" Sharq exclaimed in fear, a fist slamming into the ground behind him. "I'm sure if we talk about this, maybe over a dinner at The Halibut…"
"I'M GONNA SYNCHRONIZE YOU WITH THE GROUND, PUNK." The DJ Octopus yelled, unleashing barrages of punches towards the two squids. Sharq shut his mouth, tears coming out of his eyes as he ran.
"I'm not ready to die yeeeeeeeet!" Sharq yelled.
"We shouldn't have listened to that old guy!" Splin exclaimed, thinking back to the morning.
Today in Ref- I mean, Inkopolis, everything was normal as always. The birds were chirping, Spyke was juggling the Super Sea Snails he earned the night before, Annie was opening Cooler Heads, Moe still napping in her head, Sheldon organizing weapons, Jelonzo wearing one heck of an outfit, and Crusty Sean was out for a morning jog. Also a weird old dude was peeking his head out of a grate manhole, but I'm sure no one really minds.
The bearded old Inkling with a raggy shirt, multiple medals stuck on it, as well as a dated sea captain hat watched the fresh young populace of Inkopolis waltz by, unaware that they were being watched. He was shaking slightly, eyes darting nervously. Suddenly, he spotted two Inklings walking towards him, so he retreated down into the cover, with a clank behind him.
"What're we gonna do today, Splin?" Sharq asked, walking besides his brother.
"Turf Wars and Ranked Battles are on the agenda, as always my dear brother. After all, we need to make up for that money somehow!" Splin said smiling. "...Although I'm still worried it was a mistake to leave the Snail and the Cube at home…"
The Tele-Cube attached a little harness to the Super Sea Snail, and grew a propellor out of its top. Attaching the harness with a rope, the Tele-Cube picked up the Snail and began to fly around the house, the Snail quietly cheering.
BEEP BEE-
The alarm clock quickly shut off when the Cube glowed red and the Snail looked menacingly in its direction. It gave off a small chime before the Cube and the Snail continued with their flight, the numbers on the clock moving to simulate eyes rolling.
"Ah, I'm sure they're fine, the cube can turn into a turret to shoot any invaders after all. Can we take a stop here? I'm just gonna buy a Gator-Cola really qui-" Sharq didn't get to finish, or get his drink, as he was currently falling down a manhole, his hat spinning in the air for a moment, before it followed suit. Splin stared at the manhole for a moment, before he sighed, and walked out into the empty space, and began falling, rattling the manhole as he descended.
Octo Valley, a land of kettles, octopi, and a valley, as the name implies. This area serves as the gateway between Octarian and Inkling forces. Sharq popped out the other side of the manhole entering the valley, falling on the hard ground. Propping himself up with a groan, he came face-to-face with the old Inkling from before. "Ah!" He backed up in shock, scuttling away. However, the old Inkling didn't respond, and continued to shake.
"Th-Th-The… Oct-Oct-Oct…" The old Inkling stammered out. Sharq stood up and circled around him, concerned for this person's mental health.
"Uh… Sir?" Sharq asked, tapping the elder's beard. "Y-You okay?"
"THE OCTARIANS ARE COMING!" The elder yelled in Sharq's face.
"Bwargh!" Sharq fell backwards. "Octarians?! Oh no! Not the… What are Octarians?"
Convenient to the plot, Splin popped out of the manhole's grates as a squid. "Octarians? I've read about the Octarians somewhere. Apparently they were a huge superpower who fought against the Inklings in the Great Turf War a while ago. Species of Octopi, if I remember. Bunch of casualties happened, and we ended up the victors…"
Sharq's pupils expanded slowly and stared off into the skies of Octo Valley, clearly not listening too clearly to the lengthy explanation Splin had to offer, as well as birds beginning to land on him simultaneously making a nest on his Takoroka Mesh cap as they did.
"...And that's why there's a Giant Zapfish on the top of Inkopolis Tower. ...Sharq did you listen to a single thing I said?" Sharq looked at Splin, picking up the nest of metal scraps and sticks perched on his head and laid it on the ground gently, looking Splin in the eyes.
"No." He stated simply. "I didn't come down here to go to school, Professor Splin." Sharq said mockingly. "What next, we go into the thrilling, action-packed adventures of standing around? 'Cause I think we're already experiencing that joyride."
Splin rolled his eyes with a small chuckle. "Alright, too long didn't listen, I got it. Let me simplify it for you, octopus hated squids, wars, a lot of people died, now here we are." Sharq nodded in understanding.
"I don't mean to interrupt, buckos, but…"
"Yeah?" Sharq turned to the old Inkling. "Oh, sorry you were saying something about Octarians?"
"YES." The weathered sailor yelled, startling the two. He calmed down slightly, clearing his throat and saying, "Sorry, but you two best be on the alert! Those Octo-Jerks have been stealing from us once more! Have you seen the Inkopolis Tower lately?"
"Yeah, actually! We were just on our way to a Turf War before we bumped into you." Sharq said.
Splin facepalmed. "Sharq, it's generally a good rule to refrain from telling strangers what your plans for the day are, no offense." Splin said, turning to the old Inkling.
"None taken! The name be Captain Cuttlefish, my boy! As of now, you two are officially the newest recruits to the Squidbeak Splatoon!" Captain Cuttlefish exclaimed proudly, heroically posing with his cane.
"...We didn't even agree to th-" Splin started, but was cut off by Cuttlefish once more.
"Now then, your code names shall be… Agent 3 and 4!"
"Already taken!" A chorus of other Inklings ahead stated, all wearing futuristic battle gear that glowed.
"Uh… How about… Agent 5 and 6?"
"Right here!" Two hands shot up in the back.
"Agent 7 and 8? 64 and 42? 108 and 57?!" Cuttlefish asked.
Sure enough, every number of agent name was already taken, as multiple hands shot up in the Inkling crowd. Cuttlefish put his hand on his forehead, eyes shut in thought.
"Hmm… Well, it seems like all of the numbers are taken, I'll just have to go through the alphabet for these two…" The Inkling crowd trudged away, out of Octo Valley.
"We'll do it without becoming agents! Yeesh." Sharq yelled impatiently. "Not even sure why, there's like an army of you guys already."
"You will?! That's great! I'll just need you two buckos to change into these!" Cuttlefish handed them two worn out Hero-Suits like the other agents wore, only these ones were bruised and battered beyond belief. "These belonged to some of best agents we had! Until they were squashed into crabby cakes, of course…"
"Uh, you know what? We'll just use our regular gear." Splin said, pushing away the broken suits. Captain threw the discarded Hero-Suits towards his hut, where they hit the walls with a bang and a sizzling noise, before exploding altogether.
"...What do you want us to do?" Splin asked uncertainly.
The Cap'n smiled.
"Now, all of me other agents have collected all the regular Zapfish. Your job, Agents A and B…"
"We're not agents!" Splin and Sharq exclaimed through their small headsets Cap'n gave them.
"Sorry boys, but I can't risk you two getting discovered by those Octarians through radio! They could be listening as we speak! Anyways, all you need to do, is pick up that Zapfish on the other side of this kettle!"
Splin and Sharq, tentacles and ink now yellow, were at the start of the kettle level, the Zapfish situated uncomfortably in some sort of barrier across a set of platforms, obstacles, and Octarian forces. Octarians were patrolling the entire arena, each ready to fire if something seemed off. A Super Jump pad was in front of them, beckoning them to jump in. Splin kneeled down to the Super Jump pad, and thrust his hands into the yellow ink, a bit of a clanking noise could be heard. Suddenly, the ink in the pad began to swirl quickly, Splin signaling Sharq to jump in. Sharq plunged in as a squid, cheering as he went. Splin followed, and they were shot with great force to the area the Zapfish was imprisoned, Octarian forces wide-eyed as they streaked across the skyline, skipping over them. Landing in front of the Zapfish, Sharq took out his .96 Gal and shattered the barrier with multiple shots, Splin landing by and grabbing the Zapfish.
"Whoa! How'd you manage to do that?!" Cap'n asked over the radio.
"I just fiddled around with the technology in the Super Jump pad." Splin said. "Not even sure why they had those here, the Octarian forces weren't using it."
Bate Bros.: 1, Game Balance: 0.
"Hi voice!" Sharq said.
"Voice? You already know me name, Agent A, it be Cap'n Cuttlefish." Cap'n said through the headset. "Ah, nevermind that, just get back over here with the Zapfish. Over and out!" A bit of a crackling sound could be heard, before the headset went silent.
"Wait, how do we get out?" Sharq looked around. The platform the Zapfish was suspended on had nothing but the barrier device encasing the Zapfish, nothing else nearby except the fumingly frustrated Octarian forces on the other platforms, kicking away with their tiny Octopus limbs at their weapons.
Splin inspected the barrier device, only to get shocked when he tried to fiddle with the wiring. "Gyhahaho!" Splin was launched backwards slightly, smoking from the electricity that coursed through his body. "No good…" He said, resting his head, staring at the sky. "Wait a minute…" Splin sat up shakily. "If we have a fish that can generate electricity… Maybe we can use him to… No, wait. Our weapons hardly use any electricity, that wouldn't work."
While Splin was pondering, Sharq took out a small candy bar he had been saving in his pocket. The Zapfish stared at Sharq, wistfully. "You want a snack little Zapfish?" The Zapfish started to jump up and down with glee, excited for the chance of food. "Alright, you can have some." Sharq broke off a small piece, and offered it to the Zapfish, who hungrily ate it all in one bite. Suddenly, the Zapfish stopped, a small amount of static flashing around its whiskers, before the Zapfish started to glow.
Splin looked over to the side and gasped. "Sharq what are you doing?!" Splin ran over to his ignorant brother and the glowing catfish.
"I just gave him a little food, little guy was hungry." Sharq shrugged.
"Okay then, what did you give him…?" Splin said, still staring at the Zapfish.
"I just gave him this candy I brought along for a snack!" Sharq raised the candy bar. On the side, it said, "Rare Candy, Energy in Every Bite!"
"Where'd you get that? We hardly have any food at home much less candy."
"From the Tele-Cube!" Sharq smiled.
"Oh no."
Suddenly, the Zapfish stopped glowing. Instead of a small, yellow Zapfish, the organism in its place was larger, and it had a black glossy sheen to its scales. The mouth and eyes were more spread apart, looking more like a proper Great Zapfish. The only thing that wasn't changed to much was the wire-like whiskers.
Congratulations! Your ZAPFISH evolved into a SHOCKWHISK! Would you like to name your new SHOCKWHISK?
"Um." Splin and Sharq stared at the tiny Great Zapfish for a while. "Shockwhisk is fine?" They said uncertainly. Suddenly, the newly named Shockwhisk began to hop around the platform, suddenly coiling around Splin and Sharq.
"What's going on?" Sharq asked.
The Shockwhisk began to flatten as it coiled.
"Sharq, get ready to Super Jump." Splin said, shifting into a squid. Sharq didn't ask questions, and did the same thing.
Shockwhisk used Bounce!
The three of them were bounced away, Splin and Sharq launched farther with their Super Jumps, Shockwhisk following suit. "I guess it solves that problem!" Splin said, as he shot through the sky.
Cap'n Cuttlefish was sitting on the couch by his small hut, staring at the valley. "Those two haven't made it back yet. I wonder what happened?" Just then, Splin, Sharq, and the Shockwhisk landed one by one on top of his hut, rattling the sheet metal on top. Cap'n jumped up, running off his couch to get a better angle of the two. "There you are! I was wondering about you two!" Cap'n stared at the Shockwhisk with a look of surprise on his face. "You already took back the Great Zapfish?! That's incredible!"
"No… This is apparently just a smaller version, we call it a 'Shockwhisk'." Splin said, hopping off the roof of Cap'n's hut, a bit of a dent where he landed. "Sorry about the roof."
"It's fine bucko, any help we can get is good! Now I'm certain you and Agent A are ready to get back the real Great Zapfish!" Cap'n said triumphantly.
"Actually, right now I think we'll have to pass, we need to get some food before we tackle something like that again."
Cap'n stared at them, head tilted. "But you hardly did anything."
"It's not that, we just haven't eaten in awhile." Sharq said, before his stomach chimed in with angry growls. "As you can hear from my friend right here."
Cap'n sighed. "Alright. But you two better be back here soon, the other Agents have today and tomorrow off, so get to it!"
"So THAT'S why no one else is here! Wait, you mean to tell me that all of those Inklings get the day off, so we have to do their dirty work?" Sharq asked.
"Well, of course. Those people have a lot of things to do. No offense you two, but it doesn't look like you had too much work to do this morning."
The two brothers looked at each other, and nodded. "Yeah I guess that makes sense. Don't worry Cap'n, me and Splin here will be back, we just gotta get a bite to eat. Do you and Shockwhisk need anything or…?"
"Ooh! How about some crabby cakes?" Cap'n suggested, Shockwhisk's happy bounding a sign that he'd like some as well.
"Alright, alright. We'll be back soon." Splin said, switching out his headset with his headphones, and jumping backwards into the grates that lead back to Inkopolis. Sharq waved, and plunged through the grates as well.
"How could you fools fail?! All you had to do, was literally stand in one place and make sure no one gets past!" A booming voice shouted.
An Octarian troop amidst the crowd spoke up nervously, "W-We're sorry, DJ Octavio, sir, b-but…"
"Oh, another excuse? This is getting repetitive, people! If you're gonna lie to me, at least add something extra, this music to my ears thing is starting to become nails on a chalkboard!" The booming voice yelled. "You know what, delete that track. I'm just going to have to bring in the elites to deal with these guys."
As if on cue, a plethora of troops walked in. They had a body similar to Inklings, only the tentacles were smaller and only curved down so much. They wore metallic armour, a pair of goggles and all had a weapon that looked similar to a Splattershot, only with a more cone-like nozzle.
"Octolings! Those Inkling scum have been trespassing on our turf again, presumably to steal the Great Zapfish from us!"
"Yeah, they already stole all of the other Zapfish from us. We're not stupid." Another voice called out. Gasps echoed throughout the crowd, everyone moving to face the one who said that. Looking out, an Octoling with her tentacles messily undone, her goggles tucked into her armor. "Of course, leaving the Jump Pad at the start of the kettle unguarded was dumb in general."
DJ Octavio simply laughed. "Is that so?! Maybe we should put YOU in charge, T-41!" The other Octarian forces simply groaned.
"T-41, don't do this again. The last time you talked back to Octavio, you got us all in trouble." Another Octoling said.
"Eh, what's he gonna do, pummel me with robot fists? I'd like to see him try." The Octoling said lazily, juggling her gun and goggles.
"If you think you're such a hotshot, then I'm putting you, T-41, in charge of the last defense before the Great Zapfish and myself, let's see you try to talk back when getting blasted by an Inkling!" The entire crowd 'oohed' in response to their leader's dare.
The Octoling yawned, switching into octopus form and catching all her equipment as it fell down. "You're on, oldie." The crowd 'oohed' once more. "I'll take those squids down and be home in time for dinner." She said, walking away. "Oh, and the name's Tai, not T-41. Remember that when I whoop both the Inklings' and your butts." The crowd went nuts, staring back at DJ Octavio and cheering.
DJ Octavio sighed, chuckling slightly. "That girl will never learn. She may be the top Octoling for now, but hopefully she doesn't get clouded in the music. Alright, everyone who is designated to their posts, go now, the rest… Practice I suppose."
The Octarian forces all saluted, yelling "Yes sir!", before going about their business, looking forward to T-41, or Tai's performance.
AN Remastered: Well, I'm gonna need to go into overtime for this one. I didn't really want to delve into the Single-Player story of Splatoon too much, since I thought it'd be unoriginal, but I couldn't help it, and decided I'd have Splin and Sharq put their own little twist on the story. Thanks to sebastian G and Anon360 for reviewing once more! Glad to see this dumb story I made is curing boredom, that's what it was made for originally. Well, that's all for now, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I need to practice my skills, good day to you all!