A/N: Got my Glee soundtrack and special poster in the mail today - to my surprise, the poster was actually signed! As in, you can see where the Sharpie bled through to the back of the poster in some places, and where it skipped a little in others. ::swoon:: So happy. Literally, the best drive to work I've ever had.
Disclaimer: I finally own part of Glee! Just not any of the rights.
Rachel had driven him back to his car in the rain. It was dark now, the stars obliterated by the clouds overhead. While she had been driving to the park and laying down rules for the music, Puck had been secretly making a playlist on his iPod. He had planned out all the music – things he needed to hear, things that would help him say things to her that she needed to hear. Songs that could soothe his pain and express his joy. He was beginning to wonder if Rachel was right about all of this – music changes/influences/drives/reflects your life – how could you not wish to burst into song to express yourself?
He smiled at the thought. He shouldn't mention anything like that to Rachel – she'd take to speaking to people in lyrics, not caring if no one understood a word she said. But then again… it might be a change from her super-speedy talk.
Flashing back to reality, he realized that Rachel was humming softly to the song that was playing now. She had changed the music back to her choices once they got back in the front of the car. He could barely hear it, so he turned up the volume. It was "Maybe This Time," the song that April Rhodes had blown him away with when she "auditioned" for glee.
"This is from Cabaret, isn't it?" he asked her.
"You know musicals?" Rachel responded incredulously.
"I'm not a complete Neanderthal, Berry," he replied. "I do have some class and culture. And a mom."
"Yes, it's from Cabaret," she said, her voice quiet.
"You quit for Finn," he stated boldly.
"Yes," she whispered back. "He asked me to. He told me he didn't know what was going to happen in the future with Quinn, and I believed him. The next day I found out that she was pregnant. Of course, at the time, I thought she was pregnant with his baby, but it…it hurt, so much to know that I was only being played. He was lying all along."
He felt the anger towards Finn build inside him as he watched her wipe a tear from her face.
"I'm sorry, Rachel. I'm sorry he hurt you. I'm sorry I hurt you."
She turned on her blinker and began to pull into the school parking lot.
"I forgave you a long time ago, Noah Puckerman. I forgave you again earlier today. Don't make me have to forgive you again."
"I promise to try not to hurt you ever again," he said. He didn't know what made him say it, but he needed her to know that he appreciated everything that she had done for him, and that he realized that he had been absolutely awful towards her (for no reason).
"I can believe that about you, Noah. You've changed my perspective on you completely. But I will never be able to forgive Finn. Not ever." Her words were harsh, her voice rough. Puck knew better than to press the subject further.
"Thank-you for today," he said as she pulled into the spot next to his truck.
"You're welcome, Noah. You need someone to stand by you. I'm honored to do so. Your love for your daughter is profound, and you truly are a good man. And now…I think you're even beginning to be a good friend," she laughed, her eyes downcast, hands fiddling in her lap.
"Goodnight, Rachel," he said as he unbuckled his seatbelt. "I'll see you tomorrow." He gave her a one-armed hug and then climbed out of the car.
"Good night, Noah," she replied, and he watched her taillights until they vanished from the parking lot.
He had needed that quiet time with Rachel (quiet time with Rachel Berry? Who knew?) but he still wasn't ready to go home. If he was being honest with himself, he wanted to go back to the hospital and check on his little girl. Just to be sure.
He pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through his address book until he got to her name.
"Hey, Puck," she said. She sounded exhausted, and he felt guilty about calling her and bothering her.
"Hey, Quinn. I was wondering; I mean, I know I saw you earlier and you said I could come by tomorrow, but I was wondering if I could come back again tonight? Just for a little bit? Not to talk or anything, I know Finn's there and you're not ready for that yet, but… just to hear her heartbeat again?"
He heard her sigh, and felt his spirits plummet.
"I would want to do the same thing. You can come. Just please, be normal. Mr. Schuester is here, too."
"Don't worry, I won't say anything. I'll be normal," he said.
"Yeah, well, normal people normal, Puckerman, not ass-normal, okay?" she laughed.
"Yes ma'am," he replied, and clicked his phone shut.
When he got to the hospital, he gave the desk attendant a smirk and headed straight for the elevator. When he stepped off of the elevator, he marveled at the fact that the last time he had made this journey, he had been full of fear. This time, he was full of hope.
He knocked twice on the door to the room and then let himself in. Quinn was in the hospital bed, staring at the monitor again, but she looked up at him and smiled when he came in. Finn was sitting in a chair to the left of her bed, looking weary and world-worn. Mr. Schuester was in a chair across from them, under the TV. When he made eye contact with him, Mr. Schuester shot him a look that was a mixture of concern and the evil eye.
What's that all about? Puck wondered as he made his way into the room.
"Hey man, how's it goin'?" Finn asked, rising from his chair.
"Not too bad, you know," Puck replied. He felt he had forgotten how to talk to his best friend. "Hey, Mr. Schue," he said, and Mr. Schue nodded in response to his greeting, looking away.
Puck settled himself into the last chair in the room, positioning it so that he could clearly see the fetal heart rate monitor and discreetly watch it blip evenly across the screen.
For a few minutes the group made small talk, discussing glee and rehearsals and reworking the songs so that Quinn was as stationary as possible. Puck was grateful to Mr. Schue for allowing Quinn to stay in Glee even though she couldn't perform the choreography. He knew that Quinn would need to stay involved with Glee because that was where she had found her true friends.
"I think it's really great that you're being so accommodating about Quinn, Mr. Schue," Puck commented, wanting to make sure that his thanks were expressed.
"Well, I think you should be," Mr. Schue responded a little sharply. Then he sighed and sat back in his chair.
"I know it's not really my place, but I've become a bit heavily involved in this pregnancy, from the moment Finn came to me in tears because he was going to be a father. Maybe that's why I have to do this. I've become emotionally involved in all of you, because I've seen how you've all transformed. It's as if you're not my students anymore, but an extension of my family…" he faltered for words.
Quinn looked nervous, Puck was concerned, and Finn just looked confused (but then again, Finn always looked confused).
"I hate that I'm about to say this, especially now, here of all places," Mr. Schue continued, "but it has to be done. And I'm hoping that because we are already in a hospital, and because I am (still) your teacher and therefore an "authority figure" that this will go better here than anywhere else."
He paused for a breath and looked at Quinn, Finn, and Puck individually.
"I'm sorry, Quinn. I'm sorry, Finn. I'm sorry, Puck, about what I'm about to do. Please know that." He took in a deep breath, closed his eyes, and leaned his head back against the wall.
Bracing himself for support, Mr. Schue opened his mouth and then closed it again. He opened his mouth and tried again, appearing to have to force the words from his lips.
"Finn, it appears that everyone here knows something you do not. Something you should be aware of." Puck felt his heart stop in his chest and his blood run cold. He locked eyes with Quinn, who was now in a state of abject fear. Her eyes blazed into his, and then she turned quickly to Finn.
"Mr. Schue, wait," Quinn said. "He should hear this from me, not from you."
Pucks eyes traveled anxiously between Finn, Quinn, and Mr. Schue. He braced himself against the wall, hoping against all hope that what Rachel had told him was true. That what Finn himself had said in the lobby of this hospital held true.
"Finn," Quinn began, eyes darting terrifiedly between Finn and Puck. "Finn, it's not possible for a girl to get pregnant in a hot tub if there are bathing suits between them and there is no um…" she blushed and glanced guiltily at Mr. Schue.
"If there is no insertion. So you're not the biological father of this baby. Puck is."
The room was dead quiet, save for the humming and blipping of the machines.
Puck watched as Finn absorbed the information and truly understood what it meant. He watched as his best friend's muscles bunched and tightened beneath his clothing and his hands grabbed hard on his knees.
"What? Why?" Finn asked, staring stupidly at Quinn. He had yet to turn to look at Puck.
"Well, it's actually a long story," Quinn began, and Puck wanted to jump in and help her out, but it was her story that mattered to Finn, not his. He needed to let her tell it, to make sure that she didn't lie and cast him in a bad light. He wanted to make sure she told the truth.
Quinn began to relay the story to Finn, sticking true (mostly) to the details. As she spoke, Puck saw Finn's fists clench harder and harder and saw the vein in his neck stand out further and further from the rest of his skin.
She hadn't even gotten so far as to tell the part about her leaving the party to go after Puck when Finn lost control of his anger.
"What the FUCK man?" he yelled at Puck. Finn was standing now, his body shaking. "What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you do that to me, to her? How dare you – we've known each other since we were 4 – you fucking BASTARD!" Finn shouted.
At this, Puck could tell that Finn lost whatever tenuous grasp he had held on his anger and Finn flew across the room at him, knocking him up against the wall and pinning him there with one arm. Mr. Schue stood up as if to intercede, but there was no need.
Puck did not fight back. He did not protect himself. He knew the truth of the situation, and perhaps once Finn had heard the whole story, he would calm down, But Puck knew he was right to be angry – not because Puck had had sex with his girlfriend, taking the virginity she was supposed to be saving for him – but because he had been lying about it for months.
Mr. Schue came forward and placed a hand on Finn's shoulder; cautioning him. Quinn was crying in the hospital bed, begging Finn to stop and to come back and to listen. Puck heard Quinn's heart rate monitor begin to beep wildly and milliseconds later, the fetal heart rate monitor began to beep faster and faster.
"Finn. Stop." Puck said, his eyes on the monitor. "Please, just stop for now, for here. You're upsetting Quinn. You're distressing the baby. You haven't heard the full story. Please just listen. If you still want to kill me later, I won't defend myself. But don't do it here. Not in front of her."
Puck didn't know which "her" he was defending – Quinn or his daughter.
"Finn, he's right," Mr. Schue said, pulling Finn's arm off of Puck's chest.
Finn shook him off, grabbed Puck by the shirt, and pushed him up against the wall.
"Leave," Finn hissed in his face. "Leave, you rat bastard. You are dead to me. I won't do this here, but I will do this. Get the fuck out of my face." He released him.
Puck walked shakily towards the door, and turned back once his door was on the handle.
"Finn, please listen to everything she says. The whole story. Mr. Schue, I'd appreciate it if you would listen to the whole story, too. I want everything out in the open."
"Quinn," he said, turning towards her. "Tell the truth. For God's sake, please tell the truth."
He turned back to the door and walked through it, closing it quietly behind him. He thought it was ironic – the last time he had made this journey, he had been filled with hope and happiness. Now he was full of fear, sadness, and anger.
He wandered zombie-like out of the hospital and out to his car. When he got into the car he put his head against the steering wheel and cried. He had cried a lot today – too many times. He wanted to go somewhere safe. He could only think of one person.
"Hello?" she queried warily.
"It's me. Can I come over?" he could barely speak.
"Oh Noah, it's late…" she began; he could hear her hesitation.
"Please. I need to be with someone. Finn knows."
"Of course," she said, and he could practically feel the balm in her words through the phone line.
"Come around to the basement door when you get here. I don't want to wake up my dads." He could almost hear her brain whirling as she concocted her plan.
"Thank-you," he said. He knew that he was in the right, that he had done nothing to be blamed for (except for the lying), but he also knew that he needed her. He needed Rachel Berry.
Okay. Ultimatum time - I want reviews, people! No reviews, no new chapter. So there.