Funnyface
Chapter 10
Waiting
"Dead." The word rang in her ears and she felt the world give way beneath her feat. "Dead." Strong arms wrapped around her shoulders, holding her up when her legs seemed unable to manage the task any longer. "Dead."
"Jane?" a voice asked, the hoarse sound of it wavering in the middle. She didn't recognize it. Strange, she knew everyone there. "Jane? Are you okay?" When she failed to respond, the arms around her slackened, gently guiding her to another location.
Startlingly fathomless grey eyes hovered in front of her own, while large warm hands held her cheeks, the fingers losing themselves in her messy curls. "Janie," Sirius whispered quietly. "You didn't do anything wrong, okay? Whatever's going on out there," his eyes flicked to the white curtains encompassing them; gesturing to conversation they had accidentally overheard, "isn't your fault."
Tears pooled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks as she gave a frightened bob of her head. "Sirius," she cried softly, "I don't want to have killed him."
"Shush," he hushed, letting her wind her arms around his neck and hugging her closely. "Janie, you didn't kill him. And if he really is dead, Jay, it's more peace than he deserves." There was an icy edge to his voice that, despite his best efforts, still escaped, dancing in the air with harsh sincerity. She gave an unsure nod of her head, nuzzling her tearstained face into his neck.
He held her for a long while, letting her cry and stain his shirt with tears, until a firm hand grasped his shoulder. "Padfoot," James said quietly, and Sirius glanced up at him, taking in his weary appearance. "Madam Pomfrey said to give her this. It's a dreamless sleep." His voice was still hoarse and strangled, and Sirius only paused for a moment to wonder when James had fallen, leaving him to be the strong one.
Taking the goblet from James' outstretched hand, he coaxed Jane to an upright position. Jane's red, puffy eyes fell on his face; she looked almost surprised, as if she thought someone else had been holding her as she cried. He tucked her hair behind her ear, his palm brushing against her cheek as he smiled weakly. "Hey, Jaybird. No more tears, huh?" he almost cooed.
It took less than a minute for Jane to fall into a peaceful, dreamless sleep, tucked away under the white sheets of the hospital bed. Sirius groaned slightly, his knees protesting against him as he stood. Kneeling on the hard stone floor was a sure-fire way to cause anyone's knees to revolt. "Did you guys hear anything else? It's not really easy to eavesdrop when Janie's blubbering in your ear," he asked, attempting to lighten the situation, if only a fraction.
Remus graced him with a faint smile in response to his efforts, however awkward it looked on his haggard and weary face. "Yeah," he answered, his voice cracking, "it's not looking great."
Peter piped up from the corner, his grim expression not lost on his fellows. "From the sounds of things, Snape, the slimy bastard, is trying to pin it on her." A sound like a snarl escaped Peter's lips. "As if she hasn't been through enough, now he's trying to add murder to the bill."
"Wormtail," James admonished, "as far as we know, Snape could be telling the truth. And let's just be blatantly honest here, he fucking saved her life, all right. Slimy bastard or not, we've got to give him that."
The boys exchanged dark looks from there respective corners in the tiny curtained area around Jane's bed. Sirius' silence from his location propped up against the bedside table, idly stroking Jane's hair, saying more than any words ever could. Remus responded with an agreeing nod, his eyes betraying his displeasure at the situation. Peter frowned more deeply than ever, clenching his hands at his sides.
James released a grave sigh, running his hand through his hair. "I'll go talk to Uncle Ted, and see how things are going out there."
Remus stood as James made to leave. "Someone needs to tell Lily what's going on," he informed James and his questioning glance. "I assume you don't want that job."
"Thanks, Moony," James said, and the two left the little white curtained sanctuary.
Minutes passed in silence, Sirius intently watching Jane sleep as if studying her for signs of nightmares, Peter observing Sirius' actions with entranced attention. As far as Peter knew, Sirius didn't stare at anything that intensely.
Finally, Sirius' grey eyes slowly pulled away from Jane's sleeping form, and stared into the watery blue depths of Peter's. "I've never seen him break down like that," he rasped out, before clearing his throat. "I mean, I know he gets upset when she gets hurt, but I've never seen him take anything that hard. I thought for a moment that he was going to collapse."
Peter glanced down at Jane. "Can't pretend seeing her like that – walking in on that, didn't make me light-headed," he replied. "I thought she was dead."
Shaking his head, Sirius carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, taking Jane's small hand in his own. "No," he said shortly. "She's not dead." Peter stared up at his friend, nodding, though he wasn't sure he understood the cold conviction held in Sirius' voice.
O
"Remus?" Lily gasped rushing to him as his pale faced form walked into the Gryffindor common room, long after it had cleared for the night. "What's wrong? What happened? I can't find Jane!" she said all at once.
Remus just wrapped his arms around her tightly, almost crushing her against his chest. "She's alright, Lily. She's alright."
Without understanding, Lily clung to Remus forcing back her tears. "What do you mean, Lupin?" she demanded harshly, panic getting the best of her. He wasn't handling this situation well, he knew that, but he just needed to hold someone, to have someone holding him.
"I mean she's okay, Lily," he choked. "I mean I didn't think she was going to be." He felt her slump against him as the words left his mouth.
"What happened?" she asked weakly.
Swallowing a breath of air, he pulled away from her. "You should probably sit down." He gestured to a chair and followed, taking the seat opposite her. She gazed at him, anxiety clearly written in her vivid green eyes.
"Jane was–" he struggled with the word, his mind flashing back to the naked, bloody image of Jane laying in the hospital bed, and the look on James' face, the way he just died at the sight of her. "Raped," he managed to say. Lily paled dramatically, swaying as she tried to stand. Placing a soothing hand on her leg, Remus shook his head. "It gets worse, Lily."
Lily's eyes welled with tears. "It was Hollister." She choked back a sob, frantically shaking her head. "He's dead, Lily."
She gasped, the steel in his voice making her shiver. "Y-you?" she stuttered. At his negative response, she said, "Jam–"
"No, not James."
"Jane?" she whispered with a shudder. "No, not Ja–"
Remus glanced away from her. "We don't know, Lily. The Ministry is here looking into things." He stood up slowly. "Poppy isn't going to let us stay there long, so if you want to see her…" Letting his voice trail off, he started toward the door.
"Remus," she called, rising to follow him. "I'm sorry," she cried, "I should have–" her words were lost in a fit of sobs and Remus gently wrapped her in his arms.
"It's not your fault, Lily. It's not your fault."
O
"Walker?" Severus Snape whispered silkily, giving Jane a soft poke in the arm. "Walker, wake up. I need to talk to you."
Jane groaned in her sleep. "Sirius, go away. We'll paint the chicken in the morning."
A confused frown worked its way onto Snape's face. Paint the chicken? "Walker," he said again, prodding her a bit more forcefully.
His efforts were not in vain, as she stirred, turning in her bed and opening her eyes. "Snape?" she asked disbelievingly.
"I killed him," he said shortly, and watching impatiently as the words seeped into Jane's sleep drugged brain.
Her eyes widened and she sat up hastily. "Then why didn't you tell the Ministry that?" she hissed. "Do you realize wha–"
"Shut it, Walker," Snape snapped. "Here's the deal. If you take the blame, they do nothing. It was self-defense, wandless magic. You're an Auror's daughter. They won't do shit." His dark eyes glittered in the moonlight, fixing her with a cold stare. "I tell them I did it – me, a disgraced half-blood child – I'll end up in Azkaban."
"You killed him," stated Jane. "I can't – I can't lie and tell them I did it. I can't take the blame for your murder." She shook her head, making the room spin before her eyes. "You can't seriously ask that of me."
Scowling, he hissed, "No? But you can ask to me murder for you."
"I didn't ask you to do anything!" said Jane in outrage.
"So," he asked, "you'd have preferred I turned around and left?"
Jane froze, eyes welling with tears. "No," she gulped.
"I saved your fucking worthless life, Walker. I have to live with knowing I killed someone because of you. Are you really going to make me–"
His words cut off as a hand appeared from thin air, wrapping its fingers around his throat, forcing him to gasp for air. As Snape struggled, a silvery cloak slipped to the floor revealing Sirius Black. "I think you've said enough, Snape," he growled, releasing Snape and watching him stumble backwards. "You're lucky it's my watch," he said coldly, "her father would have killed you, outright."
Snape rubbed at his neck, scowling at Sirius, his eyes glinting menacingly. "Fuck off, Black, this has nothing to do with you."
Raising a brow coolly, Sirius released a dry laugh. "Anything that involves my family has to deal with me, Snape." Jane whispered something behind him, but he ignored it. "I've lots to hold against you, lots of reasons to end your miserable existence right now, but you've proved to actually have a redeeming quality. So, here's the deal: I have three things to say to you." He ticked them off his fingers as he spoke, drawing threateningly closer to Snape as he did so. "One: Thank you for your honorable acts today, Severus. Two: You're beyond fucking stupid to think you can convince her to take the blame for your decisions. Hell yes, I'm glad you killed the motherfucker, actually," he grasped Snape's hand, shaking it firmly. "Congratulations on beating me to the punch. But it was your decision; her situation had nothing to do with the curse you picked. I know you have a cornucopia of curses that are far nastier, but leave the bastards alive, at your disposal. You should have picked one of them if you didn't want to face these consequences." Sirius glared angrily at the other boy, pulling out his wand. "And three: Get your despicable, slimy ass out of here before I drag you out."
Snape scowled once more, eyeing the red sparks lighting up Sirius' wand, before whipping around on his heel and disappearing from the hospital wing.
A tired sigh slipped through Sirius' lips as he ran his hand through his black hair, before turning to Jane. She was gazing up at him, quite petrified at the whole situation, her bruised arms covered in gooseflesh, and her chin quivering. "I'm sorry, Janie. You didn't need that."
"He's rig–"
"No," Sirius interjected. "No, Jane. He is not right. You are not responsible for any of this. What happened in that room was a fucked up incident, and you were the victim."
"But, he–" Sirius shook his head and she nodded.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, he moved to tuck a stray curl behind her ear. Jane jerked away from his touch, panic flashing in her eyes. "Janie?" he whispered tentatively, immediately dropping his hand.
Jane glanced up at him worriedly. "I didn't mean to do that," she said in a mix of apology and confused fear.
"I didn't think you did," he replied, slowly returning his hand to her cheek, observing her carefully as she fought the urge to shy away. "You're okay, Jane," he whispered softly as her eyes fluttered closed and she leaned into his caress. "You're okay," he repeated, not sure if it was for her benefit or his.
O
Like all mornings after hellish nights, the sun rose, peeking above the treetops and lighting up the world with its rays. The warmth of them danced on Jane's cheek as soft snores pulled her from the last dregs of sleeps comforting depths. She opened her eyes to find a familiar worn face watching her sleep with mild contentment.
"Daddy," she yawned, smiling faintly as she snuggled back into the warm body that was holding her possessively in its arms.
Ted Walker smiled. "So, early this morning I came in to relieve Mr. Black of his duties and return to watching you sleep under James' cloak, as that horrible little witch was quite convinced that my fatherly need to watch over you would only prevent you from getting the rest you needed. Imagine my surprise when instead of finding him passed out in the chair by your bed where I left him, I found him in yourbed." He paused appreciating the tiny grin on Jane's lips. "He seemed quite cozy as well," mused Ted to himself, before folding his hands under his chin and fixing Jane with a mock scolding look. "Is there something I should know?" he asked.
Jane laughed slightly, shaking her head. "No," she answered. "I just woke up and…" Pausing to find the right words, she shrugged. "I was scared."
"Ah," Ted sighed. "Well then, I suppose I can't hold it against the boy." He harrumphed. "Damn, I do like threatening their favorite bits of anatomy so." He gave her a grin, telling himself normalcy was the best thing for her.
They sat in comfortable silence for a while, listening to Sirius' faint snores. Finally, Jane sat up, letting her feet dangle from the bed. Sirius fought to keep her close in his sleep, rolling to his stomach and keeping an arm wrapped around her loosely. "I overheard your conversation last night," she admitted. "I didn't kill him, Daddy. I didn't even – I wasn't even really conscious at that point."
"I know, Anna love," Ted answered softly. "I talked to a Mr. uh, Snape?" At Jane's nod he continued. "Last night, or well, this morning really. He's told us everything, so you've nothing to worry about."
"Oh," Jane intoned.
Silence stretched on again for a moment, it wasn't tense or nervous, just simply the silence of just waking, before Ted took it upon himself to break it. "How are you, love? Alright?"
"I'm okay," breathed Jane. "I'm mean, I'm going to be. Shit happens, Daddy, and I–" Tears pooled in her eyes and she sniffled. "And I didn't want to cry in front of you."
Ted chuckled at her standing up and wrapping her in a hug, she liked crying in front of him, in front of anyone. "It's okay, love. Tears are healthy."
Once she settle he sat back down and he raised a questioning blond eyebrow. "And physically? You're okay? I mean, would like me to get Pomfrey for some pain-killers or something?"
"No, I'm good," she replied. "I've a bit of a headache, but I doubt I'll stay awake much longer, so sleep will fix that." He nodded and returned to watching her snuggle back into bed, much to the sleeping Sirius' delight.
"Dad?" she queried after a moment, "have you seen Lily?"
Ted nodded, smiling vaguely. "Yeah, she came in not too long after you fell asleep last night. She's all right. A little heartbroken. A little confused. Quite pissed it took James a good two hours to inform her of the situation."
Jane chuckled. "That doesn't surprise me. No matter what the problem is, it's always James' fault."
O
Severus Snape sat out on the North Tower balcony, staring down at the green grass below, wondering what it would be like to fall, or maybe jump. He was drawn away from his thoughts, however, when a soft voice whispered, "Mischief managed," behind him. Slowly, he turned around to find himself staring into the face of Jane Walker.
Her eyes had faint remains of dark circles, and her left arm was still bandaged, but overall, he supposed she looked quite well. It had been two weeks since he had last seen her, and she was much improved from bedridden and trembling. "Walker," he greeted before returning to contemplating taking the dive.
"I always used to wonder what it'd be like to jump from a height like this," said Jane taking a seat next to him on the ledge. "Last year, though, my dad, Sarah and I went cliff diving. It was so thrilling. Now I know what it's like, and it's even more tempting." Laughing to herself she added, "Sort of grim, but it'd be the greatest way to die. That great thrill, wind rushing through your hair, and then peace. Just like that. Just like life, excitement, thrill, a bit of agony and you're gone."
"Poetic," Snape retorted dryly and they lapsed into silence.
"Look," breathed Jane, placing a book in his lap. "Don't disappoint me, alright?"
He gave her a queer look, but she just shrugged, standing up and leaving the tower. Once she was gone, he opened the little paperback book and on the first page, her untidy scrawl was found. Third floor. Second door on the left of muggle painting. She's already waiting.
Severus Snape smiled and quickly stood, striding from the balcony.
Lily Evans was waiting.
Thank you for reading, and if you have any questions at all, feel free to ask. There probably won't be any more updates until after Thanksgiving. My grandma just had surgery and I'm now an offical 'Thanksgiving helper.' Not quite sure what that means, but it involves a lot of cleaning, cooking, and not much writing time. Just thought I would let you know. :-)
By the way, I thought I'd ask, how would you feel if I up-ed the rating to Mature?