Important: Meagan - ReixGaara – offered to be my beta, so I now have one ) Thank you so much, darling, this chapter is dedicated to you!
Random Rambling: We're done moving, and oh how wonderful isn't that? Strange thing is, I'm sixteen, and this is the first house I've lived in that we've actually owned – it feels nice knowing that I actually have a permanent place to call 'home' this time, though I wouldn't change moving around for anything in the world.
fanfiction . net /s/4246379/1 (just without the spaces, but i seriously couldn't get the link to stay here, it wouldn't work...)
That would be Silverraven's story Shattered Memories, it's good and you should all check it out :)
(Evil disclaimer where I tell you that I do not own Naruto, and that It all belongs to Masashi Kishimoto but my plot, this very story and the laptop on which I am typing it…
That was all, right?)
story shattered memories is really good, you should all check it out
Review, please, you know how happy you make me and I shall throw candy at you all! Thank you so much to all those of you who have, you're so sweet all of you D
Summary of last chapter: Naruto's still in a coma, Kakashi persuades Jiraiya to tell him the truth about our favorite blonde shinobi, and Iruka is breaking down. Kakashi is horrified with the truth, unable to comprehend that something so horrible could have happened to the blonde and Naruto can't seem to get Kakashi off his mind.
Here's the new chapter (finally after all those notes P): Enjoy!
Chapter 10
"Naruto slowly fell asleep, the only difference from all the other times he'd done so was that this time there were no tears, and there would be no nightmares to scare him awake."
Kakashi was walking quickly through one of the many streets of Konoha; he was headed for the hospital to see his much missed blonde student – or former student. But Kakashi refused to acknowledge that they weren't any more, still acting like he always had towards the two remaining members of his team - he hadn't even had the time to see Naruto yet. Ever since he got out of the hospital he'd been constantly busy being sent out on bothersome missions by Tsunade, who partially blamed him for what was happening to Naruto. It wasn't like he disagreed with her. He should have known, or at least done something when Naruto left, but he hadn't. Naruto was back in Konoha, though, and at the moment that was all that mattered.
Turning a corner Kakashi moved onto a larger street, walking even faster making it seem like every single second counted, and to him it did. Every second the blonde was unconscious made it less probable that he'd ever wake up, every second he lay unmoving on that bed was torture to everyone who knew him, cared for him, and every second made Kakashi's heart hurt even more. He didn't exactly know why he cared so greatly for the blonde, why the teen made his heart beat faster every time he thought of him as of lately, but he couldn't overlook it like he had before. This time he would take the chance, he didn't want to loose Naruto too.
"Kakashi!" A familiar voice snapped the jounin out of his thoughts, when he looked in the direction of the voice he found Tenzo, or Yamato, which the man was using as an alias when working with 'team 7', standing casually by a fruit stall, waving at him to come over.
I don't have the time for this… "Good morning, Yamato." Kakashi took out his little orange book and started reading, partially because he wanted to know what happened next in the story but mostly because he wanted to show Yamato that he'd rather be somewhere else. Lately he hadn't even been reading his books too much, his mind to disturbed whenever he read of the actions in the book, his thoughts always returning to Naruto.
"Where are you headed in such a hurry, it's not like you to bother quickening your pace for anything but a mission, hardly even that…" Yamato was correct; it was definitely not normal for him, Kakashi thought, to actually hurry to be somewhere, but this was important.
"Maa, even I hurry if there's something interesting enough…" and Naruto surely is my greatest interest at the moment.
"Sou ka… But what could have gotten your interest?" Why, of all days why did Yamato have to pick this one for one of his long talks?
"Yamato, not to be rude, but I've got someplace to be and I'd like to get there. I can talk to you later, but right now I would like to get going." Yamato looked a little offended, but he soon smiled again.
"Ah, of course, but I will get you to tell me, you know that, right?" Kakashi nodded, he'd have time to quarrel with the man later, but not now. Did it really matter if he knew Kakashi was going to see Naruto anyways?
"Thank you, oh, and by the way it's Naruto. I haven't had a chance to see him yet, so that's where I'm going."
Yamato looked positively shocked as he watched Kakashi's back disappear into the crowd on the street. He'd never expected Kakashi to actually hurry doing anything, least of all when it came to Naruto, who he seemed so passive about. The jounin had never seemed to care much for the blonde, but now he was acting like this? Well, whatever it was, the undercover ANBU thought, he wanted to see what would happen.
--
Iruka was sitting on the lone swing hanging from a tree by the academy where Naruto and he had been so often together, memories flashing through his mind, images passing like a slideshow of him and the blonde, the blonde who was now lying deadly still on a too-white hospital bed.
"Ne, Naruto, why won't you just wake up, I miss you..." His whisper seemed to linger in the air for a short while before it disappeared, leaving the brunette sitting alone in silence. A small cloud of sand and dust rose from the ground only to settle moments later as he kicked the ground creating just enough momentum for the swing to start moving slowly, then he started swinging his legs to move it more.
As the swing gained speed, the tanned male still swinging his legs to make it move even faster, a tear dropped to the ground, staining the dirt where it landed for a moment before it slowly dried out. Abruptly, the swing came to a halt as Iruka again placed his feet on the ground, Shizune standing directly in front of him being the reason.
"How are you, Iruka?" the woman's gentle voice calmed him slightly as he contemplated how to answer.
"I'm okay I suppose…" Shizune, who for unknown reasons had for once not brought her pet-pig Ton-Ton, shook her head, moving her hands in a disapproving manor.
"No, Iruka, I know you're not, so why don't you tell me how you really are?" As expected of Tsunade's apprentice she could easily tell he was lying, no that that was too hard for anyone, he'd never been a good liar.
"Will… Will he wake up?" it didn't matter if she knew how worried he was, hell, why should it? He could see the way she looked at him, not with pity, but with concern and some form of affection; blushing slightly as he wasn't used to people looking at him this way, seemingly analyzing him as he spoke.
"I'm sure he will, he's Naruto, after all, he'll pull through anything." She smiled, a gentle, warm smile, reaching out and brushing her hand over his check, trailing the tear-track that had long since dried with her thumb, then quickly pulled back. Why did I do that? What's coming over me? He just looked so sad, so, well… She didn't really know what, but Shizune had felt some sort of overwhelming need to comfort the male, unsure of whether she'd done so the right way.
"Sou ka…" Iruka hadn't been expecting the touch, but he didn't do anything to avoid it, it felt good somehow, knowing that there were others out there who cared for him.
"Ne, Iruka, why don't we go for a bite, eh? I'll buy you something tasty if you come along." Another smile, then she took his hand, dragging him off the swing and to his feet. "Let's go"
Iruka had no chance to say anything as he simply let himself get dragged along to where ever Shizune had in mind. Maybe this would be good for him; maybe it would get his mind off Naruto for a while. I'm sorry, Naruto, but sitting around worrying won't do either of us any good, will it. I'm sure if you were awake you wouldn't want me to just sit around crying, right? You would have wanted me to go out and have fun like you always do… A small smile graced Iruka's lips as he pictured the blonde grinning broadly, and although that smile had become less and less frequent, whenever it was there it was so infectious one couldn't help but smile back. I wonder what's been keeping that smile off your face lately, but I guess you'll tell me in time if it's anything you want me to know…
--
As Kakashi entered Naruto's room there was a slight change in the pace of the heart monitor, the beeps coming a little more frequently just as the jounin entered, but the man was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice.
In his mindscape Naruto froze, this presence that filled the room was that of Kakashi, the blonde's heart beating a little faster just knowing he was there. Kakashi hadn't come to see him since he'd been in the hospital, and thoughts had been going through the teen's mind that either he'd been badly injured and was still hospitalized himself – which was highly unlikely – or that he didn't want to see him, which had been Naruto's biggest concern until the moment he felt Kakashi's presence enter the room.
"Relax, Kit." The kyuubi easily noticed the change in Naruto's vitals; the kid needed to calm down if nothing else, just so nothing happened to his body.
"He's here…" The boy was in his own world, his thoughts drifting off as he thought of Kakashi; maybe, just maybe, he might be able to sort out these things he'd been feeling lately.
Damn, this place is so…white. Kakashi took a look around the room, noticing all the flowers, cards and gifts that adorned a table by the left-hand wall of the small room, and there was also a single, orange rose in a vase on Naruto's nightstand with a card from Sakura telling him to 'Get well soon you BAKA or I'll have to go find Sasuke without you!' He almost choked as he saw the card. Any thoughts of the raven seemed so repulsing to him, and how Naruto had, according to Jiraiya, seemingly managed to forgive him was completely absurd to the jounin. Oh, Sakura, if you only knew you wouldn't even want him back…
Proceeding to step closer to Naruto's bed, Kakashi looked down at the blonde's calm face, noticing how the boy's chest heaved and lowered slightly when his gaze moved along the teen's body, the covers were down at his hips, his frog pajamas probably warm enough in them selves.
"Naruto…" He looked so peaceful where he lay in that hospital bed, and Kakashi couldn't help but reach out with a hand to trail a finger along the whisker like scars on the boy's cheeks, then moving his hand to play with blonde locks.
"Won't you wake up? I… need you here. I need to talk to you..."
"Need… to talk… to me?" Naruto was puzzled. What could Kakashi ever want to talk to him about? As he repeated what the jounin had said the words just sounded strange on his lips, like they weren't meant to be there. It's probably nothing, either that or about how bad I screwed up…
"You've got to stop being so damn negative all the time, Kit, and stop underestimating your own worth…" Kyuubi was cut short as Naruto snapped; how dare it tell him such things.
"Oh, yeah, 'cause it's completely normal to have top self esteem after being raped, right? 'Specially when it was the evil overlord and his fucking sluts – one of them who used to be your best friend. Oh, and having a pretty much everyone hate you because your father sealed a demon inside you really helps the situation, especially when you're not the demon, just what keeps it from destroying the whole, fucking world, and your father wanted you to be seen as a hero but instead you're seen as the demon inside you! Yeah, my life's been so great that I've got every reason to feel great, right?" The fox growled, the boy had a point – the world hadn't been kind or fair, nor easy towards him, and the person he was he'd deserved better.
"Sorry, but still, kid, you realize that you have people on your side too, right?" A confused look passed over Naruto's face before he smiled and nodded. He did have the whole rookie 9 and team Gai, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Shizune, Iruka, and if he was lucky he just might have Kakashi…
"Hai…" Once more he disappeared into his own little world, imagining just how the world could have been if it weren't for the Kyuubi. He could have been normal, he could have had a family; Sasuke might never have run off, Iruka's family may still be alive. Everything might have been different, but on the other hand he might not have met Kakashi… That single thought seemed to make his whole hell somehow worth it, there was just something about the older male that captivated Naruto, and he wasn't sure what he'd do without him in his life.
As he was in the middle of a trail of thoughts four words rang loudly through the air, reaching his ears sounding as clear as anything he'd ever heard before.
"I love you, Naruto."
"It's true, I don't know what I'll do if you don't wake up. I just realized, and now I know that if you don't return to me, if you abandon me to, well, I don't know what I'll do…" Please hear me, Naruto, and please come back.
Kakashi's hand, which had been playing with the teen's silky, blonde hair all the while he was talking moved slowly down to his face again, sliding over all those perfect features before it rested on his shoulder.
Suddenly, as if something took control of his body, Kakashi bent down and placed a soft kiss on Naruto's pink lips, then stood again.
Kakashi stood to leave; he couldn't stand to stay in the small, white hospital room any longer, but just as he turned to move out the door a loud beep sounded, when he turned around he noticed the line that was supposed to show Naruto's heartbeat on a machine close to his bed had gone flat. No! Don't you even try dying on me, Naruto!
"Help!" Kakashi stuck his head out into the hall, calling for anyone to come. As soon as he shouted close to 20 doctors and nurses were standing around the door to Naruto's room, suddenly noticing what was going on they got to work on the boy who was now lying, medically dead, on his bed.
"I'll call for Tsunade." Kakashi was quick to summon two of his nin-dogs, "Go get Sakura and Tsunade!"
The dogs didn't even bother to reply, leaving in a puff of smoke to obey their summoner's orders.
--
"Where's Tsunade?" Sakura was shocked to find not Tsunade, but Jiraiya in her office sleeping. Snapping to attention at the young kunoichi's slightly annoying and a little too high-pitched voice Jiraiya looked up, greeting her with a small nod towards the bedroom.
"She's sleeping, I told her to get some rest last night, she needed it. Why?"
"Tsunade! Naruto's heart stopped, we need you!" the Pink haired girl was screaming out as she slammed open the door to the bedroom, revealing Tsunade standing ready to open the door from the other side with a nin-dog by her side.
"I know, you ready to go?" The blonde woman grabbed Sakura's arm, and though she hardly ever used teleporting jutsu she would now; this was an emergency after all. As she and Sakura disappeared she just managed to yell out to Jiraiya that they'd meet him in the hospital, seconds later arriving in Naruto's now overcrowded room.
"Move" Tsunade commanded as she entered the room, every person in the room obeying her orders so that she and Sakura could get to the bed. Only as she raised her head to look at who was in the room did she notice Kakashi, sending him a glare saying something in the direction of 'if you had anything to do with this you're dead'.
As the two highly skilled medic nin's worked on the boy they found starting his heart again a surprisingly easy job, only taking some minutes – thanks to the kyuubi, Tsunade assumed.
When Naruto was stabilized Tsunade turned to face the horde of people gathered in the small room, telling them all to leave, including Sakura, but as Kakashi walked towards the door as the last person she stopped him, keeping him in the room and closing the door so she could ask him what had happened.
Attempting to lie his way out of the situation, Kakashi knew from experience, was not a good idea, but what could he possibly say. After minutes of trying to think of something that might save his life he still came up with nothing, figuring that as absurd as the truth was, it might shock his Hokage enough so that she'd leave him alive…at least for now.
"I confessed to him." Tsunade looked like a living question mark where she stood. "I love him and I told him that, it was nothing more. This time I'm not going to let it slip away, Tsunade." She knew what he meant. Last time he'd cared for someone he'd lost them, all of them. Perhaps, however wrong this may seem, she should give him a chance.
Just as she was about to speak a familiar, white haired head popped through the door, asking about the situation.
"Well, it most certainly is good to hear that Naruto is ok, but Kakashi, I never saw that coming. Maybe I'll make a book out of this..." the last part Jiraiya simply added to himself, it wouldn't be like his other books, but who knew, change might be good. "Well, now all those questions you asked me make much more sense at least…" Kakashi nodded in reply, Tsunade decided not to meddle, if Jiraiya thought it was important he'd tell her, she knew.
A little while passed as the three talked, in the end arriving at the conclusion that until Naruto woke up and could state his mind on the matter nobody would know – some things are simply better off left alone – after they'd finished discussing some various things Tsunade checked Naruto's vitals once more, deciding he was safe, then she and Jiraiya left, leaving Kakashi to have some privacy with the blonde.
--
"What will you do, Kit?" The fox was doing something that resembled a grin, the only thing it accomplished was to make it look even more evil than it was, but it meant to be kind, Naruto knew.
"I want to go back, Kyuubi, I just… can I wait a little… I'm still kind of shocked, you know…" the fox nodded. The reason Naruto's heart had stopped had been shock, shock when Kakashi had said he loved the boy, but it hadn't been hard to 'fix' the boy since this time he was willing.
"Well, all you have to do is open your eyes and he'll be there for you this time; you know that now."
"I suppose," Naruto smiled, for real, he was in ecstasy finding out that Kakashi loved him. He had yet to figure out his feelings for the man, but this sure wouldn't hurt. Now, since he knew, he didn't have to be so afraid, he knew where he was standing.
Quite some time went by but still he didn't wake. People coming to see him every day, Iruka had been here even more now, but he wasn't so sad, worried any more. He seemed happier, something which made Naruto feel relieved, and also all his friends, and Kakashi.
--
A week had passed since Naruto's heart had stopped and Kakashi was by for his daily visit. As he was about to leave, his hopes of ever telling the blonde how he felt fading day by day, Naruto's eyelids lifted to reveal those beautiful blue eyes the jounin had thought he might never see again looking straight into his own.
"Naruto…?" The blonde kept searching the man's eyes, looking for the truth as he was afraid all he'd heard were lies. He had to know, certain that if it had all been fake or just a dream his heart would be beyond repair, yet if it was real he may get a chance at healing the wounds that scarred his soul.
"Did…did you mean it?" Kakashi was stunned, he hadn't fully comprehended the situation yet and as Naruto spoke he couldn't understand what the teen was inquiring about. "Did you mean it when you said you love me?"
The jounin hesitated, it wasn't that he was unsure of his feelings, he'd already come to accept them, but he couldn't help but wonder how Naruto would react; would he be happy, mad, sad… What would happen? Is this for the best? Kakashi knew he had to say what was on his mind, he couldn't let it all slip once more, but as he was thinking his mind was screaming at him. Screaming how wrong this was of him, he didn't really care for Naruto's gender, he'd been with other males before, but he couldn't overlook how much younger Naruto was than him, how much more innocent, how the boy was his student and how much he'd been through without Kakashi noticing, without him caring. I don't deserve someone as good as you, Naruto…
"Answer me. Please…" Naruto's voice woke Kakashi, the jounin had been lost in his thoughts not noticing that 10 minutes had passed. The scared look in the blonde's eyes as he begged for an answer was heartbreaking to Kakashi, as was the emotion in his voice, the older of the two searched for the right words to say. "Please…?" I need to know because you're the only way, Kakashi, the only way I'm willing to keep on living. This is the moment where you either break me or give me the hope I need to carry on, so state your choice now.
"Naruto, I… You're awake…" Kakashi wanted to speak but his tongue betrayed him, not saying the words that he wished it to utter. The relief and happiness in the mans voice were so much stronger emotions than Naruto had ever heard before, but he was still unsure of what to think, how to feel, he wanted to feel like it was safe, that he knew what Kakashi would say, but he couldn't – still too inexperienced when it came to emotions to be sure of himself.
"Please…" the blonde's voice was weaker now, sounding even more insecure. Kakashi knew he had to speak to end the strange silence that occurred after the teen spoke.
"Yes, Naruto." Another silence came as Kakashi had no idea what to say, the blonde simply not speaking. This time, however, it was a much better one.
Can I trust you, Kakashi, are you telling me the truth? Naruto couldn't feel sure even though he wanted to trust his former sensei, too used to being let down and betrayed to let anyone pass his defenses too quickly. Can I really? I want to believe you, my savior, but I'm just not sure I'm able to do that, at least not yet. Desperate for something, anything, to prove what Kakashi had just confessed to him was real he tried to move his hand to take hold of the older male's, but even though he'd been 'resting' for so long he lacked the strength to get it further than the edge of the bed before it just fell.
Kakashi saw Naruto's gesture before the boy's arm fell from the bed, and assuming that he'd read the boy's actions correctly he bent down and took the boy's paler than usual hand in his, squeezing it lightly. As Naruto felt the warm grip of Kakashi's hand around his own he smiled, a real smile, he still wasn't sure whether he could trust the male - believe him - but he was happy. I' still not sure of you, but if I'm going to go back to living I might as well give it a shot with you. Naruto tried to pull Kakashi closer, but at that moment his tiredness decided to make itself known as the blonde fell asleep instantly, his hand going limp in Kakashi's hold, the man putting it gently down besides the sleeping boy.
"Sweet dreams, Naruto." This time you're sleeping for real, so you better wake up soon, I can't wait to see you… Now I'll have to go tell Tsunade or she'll kill me when she wakes up, and I don't think either of us wants that, do we? With that Kakashi walked out of the room gently shutting the door, then headed straight for the Hokage tower where he was to tell Tsunade and Jiraiya both that Naruto was back amongst the living.
--
I like the first and the last parts of this chapter, the middle of it is possibly a bit messy but I hope that you'll survive… if not feel free to tell me how to do better
Again: review please (candy, remember) P