Disclaimers: I do not own Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu, or any of the characters the franchise has. I do own this story though.

Redemption Equals Disappearance

I numbly stared at the sight that lay before my eyes. A desolate Indigo Plateau, half of the smooth stone stands destroyed, unconscious bodies lying everywhere. I was seemingly numbed when I realized what exactly I had done. By forcing my partly unrequited love on Kyon, partly simply because Kyon did fall in love with me some time ago, I had inadvertently brought about their demise. Kyon and Yuki-chan, cold and clammy, lying on the freshly mown grass that was now stained with blood.

The true power of love… It's different from person to person. In my case, I was apparently ax crazy enough to resort to getting rid of Yuki to have Kyon all to myself, without any interference whatsoever. As for Kyon though, the power of his love was powerful enough for him to give up his own life to make my plans come crashing down with the authority of a thousand judges that said,

"It's your damn fault they're dead."

Indeed, it was my fault. While I surveyed the desolate sight that presented itself to me, I noticed a slight movement from the corner of my eye. I immediately turned to the source of the movement and my eyes fell on Mikuru-chan, who had just gotten up and was scratching her head faintly. She apparently had no idea what had just occurred here, because she was approaching me whilst swaying slightly from side to side. As she approached me, she suddenly stopped, her senses having slightly recovered from the stupor they had just been in, and she looked to the side and saw Kyon and Yuki lying on the grass, all bloodied and mangled. She gasped loudly, and covered her mouth with her hand.

Even under stress, Mikuru-chan does look cute, doesn't she? Wait, that's the least of my problems right now. Because she turned to me and completely took me by surprise with the look she had on her face. Her normally cute face was replaced by a look that screamed bloody murder. On a goon's face, that look was perfectly at home. On Mikuru-chan however, it looked so out of place that it actually looked more intimidating and frightening than I originally thought it would turn out to be.

Even her normally trembling voice was gone when she spoke.

"Suzumiya-san… Did you cause this? Did you kill Kyon and Yuki-chan?" she said quietly.

"Unfortunately, yes," was all I could reply.

Suddenly, I saw her eyes gleam slightly and she spoke once more.

"I see. I remember what my superiors told me when I was first instructed to come to this time plane. I was told to observe the source of the time quake that did not allow us to travel back further in time than four years ago. That source was you, Suzumiya-san. And now, I don't care about my mission anymore. I can't believe you killed Kyon and Yuki. We were… Friends. Your selfishness ended everything that I enjoyed in this time plane. I always thought that, even though I'll always be out of place in this time plane, Kyon-kun would always help me out and show me the way. But now, he's gone and he may never be able to do that again. All because of you," she said menacingly. "I'll do anything that I can to avenge their deaths," shouted Mikuru while trembling in rage.

Laughable, to be honest. What could she possibly do against me? But then again, I realized, I probably did deserve whatever she was going to throw at me. To think I caused the death of the person that I loved… Not to mention the person he loved too, which undeniably broke his heart.

I was sickened with myself. How and why did I stoop this low anyway? I might as well accept whatever Mikuru-chan was going to throw at me, no matter how laughable it may be.

She withdrew a small black object from her pocket and furiously began to punch commands into what seemed to be an electronic interface on the watch. After a short while, the watch suddenly spoke in an electronic voice.

"Parameters successfully modified. Time travel is now set to ignore the fabric of reality. This can only be used once, after which this object will cease to function permanently. Do you wish to continue?"

In a voice that seemed to carry the authority of a thousand men, Mikuru-chan replied, "Yes."

I was curious though… What exactly was she going to do to me? Ah well, I might as well ask her. There couldn't be a greater punishment for me than losing Kyon. This was nothing compared to that…

"Hey Mikuru-chan, what're you gonna do to me?" I asked nonchalantly.

"I'm going to send you to Earth, 4.5 billion years ago, around two minutes before that huge meteorite strikes the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico," she said softly.

Even though I was willing to accept this punishment entirely, I thought that it would be a tad bit out of character if I didn't goad her into doing something foolish first.

"I see. And what makes you think that your time traveling toy will work on me? I'm nigh-omnipotent Mikuru-chan! What can you do against me?"

"According to my superiors, you may have the power to rewrite the world, yes. However, we have theorized that after you have exceeded a certain point, a point that we named the 'Threshold of Power,' you will be unable to expend a large quantity of your powers to affect reality for the time being. The duration of how long you will be relatively powerless is directly proportional to how much power you expended," she replied in a businesslike tone.

Wow. Mikuru was right. That is the one limitation of my powers. It's like those skill cooldown times in those computer games people play these days, where they put a limit on how long it takes for you to be able to use a skill again to prevent spamming.

"What if I still have enough power to write the Time Plane Destruction Device out of existence. Or you, for that matter?" I said, intending to goad Mikuru on some more.

"You do not have enough power to do that, Suzumiya-san. If you killed Yuki Nagato, that means you must have exhausted a lot of your power to accomplish such a feat," she said simply.

Well technically, it was Kyon who killed Yuki, but I think she'd rather not know how sadistic I was at the very end. Enough goading. I might as well let her do it. After all, a life without Kyon, even with my powers, was an empty life. I can't bring him back to life either; it's one of the rules that are associated with my powers. (A/N: According to the Integrated Data Thought Entity, Haruhi's powers are an advanced form of data manipulation, so the same rules that apply to Nagato's powers apply to Haruhi's powers as well)

Might as well get it over with.

"Alright Mikuru-chan, you win. I'll go quietly. The last thing that I'll say to you is this: I'm sorry."

She nodded once, and she was about to activate the command that would send me to prehistoric times when someone shouted.

"WAIT!!!"

Both Mikuru and I swiveled our heads towards the direction of the voice. The voice that was completely identical to mine.

"Ah, my conscience, it appears that you have woken up," I said dryly.

"Yes, I have," replied the other Haruhi. "Mikuru-chan, stop what you're doing right now!"

"You're defending her now? What is wrong with you!? She killed Kyon and Yuki! And you're still defending her!?" shouted Mikuru.

Okaaay, I think Mikuru-chan has officially snapped. Better restrain her before she does something incredibly stupid.

However, it turned out that such thoughts were completely unnecessary.

"Hold it Mikuru-chan! There's a solution to the problem we have right here," said the Haruhi in white.

Mikuru-chan finally relaxed and reverted to her normal self, upon reassurance from Haruhi's conscience.

"Uhm… What do you have in mind, Suzumiya-san?" she addressed the other Haruhi.

"We need her cooperation," she said, pointing at me.

Mikuru's jaw dropped in disbelief, and she said,

"How c-could she possibly cooperate with us? It was her fault that Kyon died!"

I don't blame Mikuru at all for thinking of me as a heartless beast. Because indeed, despite all my love for Kyon, that was exactly how I acted. Insensitive to the core, not giving a damn about what Kyon felt for Yuki. I was so selfish. With Kyon gone, I'm better off dead, right?

I couldn't take it anymore. Without warning, in front of the two of them, I dropped to my knees and I began to sob uncontrollably.

"W-why… K-Kyon… I'm so sorry… For my selfishness," I spluttered while crying.

Mikuru was taken completely by surprise at seeing me do this. The other Haruhi, however, stood still. It was as though she completely expected this to happen.

"That's why," said the other Haruhi simply.

I cried for a few minutes, thinking about everything that I had lost because of my own folly. Then, the other Haruhi laid out her proposal to us.

"Haruhi," she said, addressing me, "I want you to activate Nagato's link to the Integrated Data Thought Entity."

"H-How will that help?" I asked, skeptical about her idea.

"Simple. Once the Integrated Data Thought Entity realizes that his or her second-in-command has fallen, Yuki will be brought back to life, simply because, as a human-purpose organic interface, her position to obtain data to foster their evolution is an invaluable asset," she replied.

Not a half bad idea. I just nodded, closed my eyes, and thought with all my might about Yuki's connection to the Entity being restored. Instantly, I knew that I was successful, because I heard the grass rustle briefly in the spot where Yuki lay.

I looked at her, and she was unsteadily getting to her feet. In no time at all, the wounds she had sustained from being stabbed were completely gone. I preempted things and decided to break the silence first.

"Okay, first things first: Yuki, I'm so sorry. For everything," I said.

"You see now what true love means, Suzumiya? That is what Kyon has taught me. It is when you want your beloved to be truly happy," said Yuki.

"I-I understand," I said, while bowing to her, trying to convey how sorry I am for all the stupid things that I did. "What's the plan now?"

"The Integrated Data Thought Entity has informed me of the developments in the situation and we have deduced that it is vital that Kyon lives, to prevent Haruhi Suzumiya, pertaining to the entirety of her being, from becoming self-aware. We interfaces have pondered this… Anomaly, without gaining any pertinent data…," said Yuki while trailing off into silence.

"What anomaly?" asked Mikuru-chan.

"The anomaly being that the individual facets of her mind are aware of the existence of her powers, with some being able to wield it—" she turned to me briefly, "— but Haruhi Suzumiya herself as whole is unaware of this."

"Oh," was all Mikuru-chan would say.

"However, this anomaly appears to be not significant at this moment in time, so let us move on to rectifying our problem here. Like the last time that Kyon died, I will employ the same methods to bring Kyon back to life: taking some of your power—" she turned to me as she said this, "— and giving it to the Entity to perform the resurrection of Kyon."

I nodded at this and said,

"I agree to this plan. I'm willing to help in any way that I can."

Yuki just nodded and said,

"Good, however, there is one catch. Even though you are able to fully wield Haruhi Suzumiya's powers, you are, in fact, only controlling a small portion of it. Unfortunately for you, the amount of power that I have to take from you will be enough to erase you from existence. Given what you have done to cause all of this, I will accept nothing less than your permission for me to continue with this plan."

I thought about it for a second. This me will cease to exist. Then, in an instant, I knew what my choice would be.

"I'm willing to do this. Consider this as my redemption," I said simply.

Yuki nodded and said,

"I will. Now, please close your eyes and focus on transferring your power to me."

I did what I was told and thought about all the mistakes I had committed. This, disappearing from existence, was more than welcome to me right now. It provided the medium that I needed to free myself from the brunt of my self-torment that stemmed from what I had done mere minutes ago.

Time to transfer my power to Yuki now, and hope that everything will work out fine. I thought with all my might about just that, and then suddenly…

Everything went white. I had finally entered the state of peace.

Thank you, Yuki…

A/N: Read and review please! My story is finally about to end. Thanks for reading until this point!